My male boss referred to me as "buddy" in a meeting.

Anonymous

March 18,2024 at 12:56PM UTC

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My male boss referred to me as "buddy" in a meeting.

My male boss, who's been under investigation and found guilty of stealing money from a non-profit but still gets to keep his job, referred to me as "buddy" in a one-on-one meeting. "Ok thanks, buddy" as I walked out. I am a grown woman. I have never been referred to as buddy, especially not by my employer. I call my elementary male students buddy sometimes. Now I am regretting not saying anything in response. I am so mentally checked out and exhausted from countless interviews to get away from this guy. Needless to say, by the grace of God I am resigning today. Should I call him "buddy" in my resignation letter? LOL

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AnonymousMarch 18,2024 at 1:19PM UTC
Talk to him. He probably doesn’t know how it was received. The only way to get past discrimination or belittling is to raise awareness.
Deb AllenMarch 18,2024 at 1:22PM UTC
Not recommended, that is just sinking to his level. Notify someone else, hopefully in HR that his behavior needs some coaching, and mention it to them.
Louise SnellmanMarch 18,2024 at 1:32PM UTC
Just move on
Terrie McWhorterMarch 18,2024 at 2:28PM UTC
If you want to be passive/aggressive then sure call him buddy in your letter. However, I like to take the higher road and just exit stage right! Best of luck
AnonymousMarch 18,2024 at 2:37PM UTC
ignore and move on. he probably calls his friends or kids this and did it out of habit. It's not right, but we all say wrong things out of habit sometimes. Just ignore and move on.
AnonymousMarch 18,2024 at 2:47PM UTC
I would NOT cash in a chit on this issue. As other have said, move on and let it go.
AnonymousMarch 18,2024 at 3:27PM UTC
Don't be so uptight. Buddy is not derogatory or racist. Let it gooo.
AnonymousMarch 18,2024 at 3:32PM UTC
Don't bother. You're getting out. Do you have conversations with trash lying on the sidewalk? Of course not. Walk away from that mess.
People are telling you that his words weren't insulting, and on the surface they're not. But this was a dominance power play ("I'm a thief and you can't do anything about it"), so being ticked off is understandable.
AnonymousMarch 18,2024 at 3:42PM UTC
I would have let that go. It's meaningless.
Jonna Ferguson, ACCMarch 18,2024 at 3:52PM UTC
"Being powerful is like being a lady.
If you have to tell people you are, you aren't." Margaret Thatcher
Your resignation today is statement enough. Do that with dignity and grace and you'll be winning.
Pea WriteMarch 18,2024 at 4:08PM UTC
Doesn’t matter what you call him, you’re leaving.
AnonymousMarch 18,2024 at 10:27PM UTC
Lol
AnonymousMarch 19,2024 at 3:12AM UTC
Hahaha you and I would be "buddies"! I wouldn't do it in a bitter way but if I could subtly slip it in a way that leaves him wondering and I get to skip on out secretly high-fiving myself .. heck freaking yes lol! Love finding some fun and humor in these situations.
AnonymousMarch 19,2024 at 12:39PM UTC
No.
AnonymousMarch 19,2024 at 6:46PM UTC
Your boss, guilty of extortion from a non-profit has managed to retain his job and has the gall to call you "Buddy" in a meeting??? I applaud that resigning, and YES! refer to him as "Buddy in your resignation letter. It's poetic justice!!! Just don't use him as a reference.. LOL!
AnonymousMarch 20,2024 at 1:04PM UTC
I would have been amused. no need to get all bent out of shape though. you are leaving anyway
Please don't put that word in your resignation letter. Just don't.
AnonymousMarch 20,2024 at 2:44PM UTC
Well, I think you already know the answer and aren't serious about putting that in the letter. But please feel free to indulge the fictitious snarky resignation letter fantasy in your mind being as creative and biting as you like! I had fun thinking about cutting my old boss to shreds in my letter; but, of course, I was professional. I never thanked him for anything in the letter but rather expressed appreciation for the opportunity to work on important issues (true) and to collaborate with great colleagues throughout the world (these folks now form my professional network). All very graciously expressed. I still smile at that letter and chuckle a bit, thinking well played.

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