Imposter Syndrome?

7 Comments

1. AnonymousOctober 22,2024 at 1:30PM UTC

   Imposter syndrome is - self-doubt of intellect, skills, or accomplishments among high-achieving individuals. Even though the phrase has entered into conversations (esp. during the COVID years), it doesn't apply to everyone. While some folks with this do "fake it" - other people fake it just to get ahead.

   From what I'm reading, would you say you may be experiencing burnout, feeling unfulfilled, bored, monotony, maybe stressed, stagnant, etc. Of course, micromanagement is the worst. Find ways to "quiet quit" (do what you know to do and no more and separate yourself from taking micromanagement to heart).

   Perhaps you're seeking meaning or a new aim. Perhaps it's the place, perhaps it's the times we live in, etc. I understand how you've identified things you like- are those jobs around? do they pay? Hmmm.

   I wouldn't limit yourself by your age. Leverage what you know about the job market and how to be selected. Stay put for now (esp. if it's not toxic and the pay and people are ok). Keep looking. Find ways to use all your benefits (esp. professional development) and level up in a few places / or learn something new. You may not have the answers now, but with each new experience, you may develop a new path (or a well worn one).

   I also recommend the "Designing Your Life" and "Designing Your Work Life" book series by Burnett & Evans. Really insightful to help you forge a path.

   Good luck!

2. AnonymousOctober 22,2024 at 3:32PM UTC

   Thank you! I am grateful for the insight. So well put and I am going to check out the books you recommended. Thank you!

3. AnonymousOctober 23,2024 at 2:56PM UTC

   Omg. I am going thru same. I was let go of my job where I was making very good money and I loved working there. The CEO never had an EA and has never been a CEO. Everything was great in the beginning, but then I started noticing that the Leadership Team were very clicky and immature and the CEO acted very entitled I am 58 and so ready for retirement. The EA role is hard to be in at this age. Still unemployed. ?

4. Alina FloreaOctober 22,2024 at 2:57PM UTC

   According to my experience - and I have been coaching people with imposter syndrome for 6 years now, I have been managing people with imposter syndrome for 15 years and was one manifesting in my youth this syndrome, your situation does not sound like "the imposter" in any way.

   What I hear is a mature person who knows what makes her tick at work and acknowledges that the nature of the work she is now doing does not give her at all satisfaction.

   While there is a rational acceptance of what is happening at the the job (recent changes), at the emotional level there is rejection and it feels like you are forced to accept a compromise you do not like nor see leading anywhere.
   And you started to become aware of a need to change something.

   To come to your initial question, when someone has an imposter syndrome, is usually when they are new to a job or to a professional circumstance, and they feel that irrespective of how much preparation or effort they put in, they would not be able to be enough, i.e. to be enough good, enough professional, to have enough knowledge, or they reach a certain level of ability they consider enough). To be certain they are doing a good job the people with imposter syndrome rely a lot on external validation. It is only when someone outside of them recognises the value of their contribution, it is only then they accept their contribution has value and t matters.

   Again, your words give me no indication of imposter syndrome, but they give me certainty that you know you are not made for the type of work you are given now to do. I also hear that you are a mature person who knows that she needs this job and is struggling every day to show up happy and enthusiastic about the content of that job. Your words also tell me it is important for you to show the same level of enthusiasm as your colleagues, and I wonder what creates in you this need/pressure?

5. AnonymousOctober 22,2024 at 3:35PM UTC

   Thanks so much! This is very helpful. You described my situation perfectly too. I am thankful for your words of wisdom. I plan to take all of your advice to heart. Thank you again.

6. AnonymousOctober 23,2024 at 3:19AM UTC

   This sounds like what is known as the quiet quitter. Think of one good thing each day. Did you have a nice conversation with a colleague for example? Think of the positives. In the mean time seek work elsewhere that challenges you. Go to occupationaloutlook handbook and take an assessment. You may find you are excited about other things. Contact staffing firms. Sometimes their HR folks handle just onboarding or a combo of your skills and onboarding.

7. AnonymousOctober 23,2024 at 1:08PM UTC

   Imposter syndrome is more like feeling like you don't deserve your job because you don't feel fully qualified. It is common among women because society has conditioned us to put ourselves down. What you describe is more like burnout or just dissatisfaction with the job. If you feel it is causing you to be ineffective at your job and you have PTO, you may want to take a few days off to regroup. You could also benefit from checking out your company's EAP to see if some coaching or therapy could help. Sometimes, talking through it with someone else helps.