My work environment went from okay to toxic very fast.

46 Comments

1. AnonymousJanuary 27,2023 at 1:29PM UTC

   Exit gracefully as you never know who is connected to who in life. Better you don't want anything you do to come back and haunt you in job searches etc. They are probably not worth your emotional energy. Find a new job and leave with a smile.

2. AnonymousJanuary 27,2023 at 1:31PM UTC

   My situation was very similar. I started out at a job doing ok. When I complained that the trainer I was assigned was not training me, it turned toxic. I was threatened with a Performance Improvement Plan. Then I went to HR about the situation and a few days later I was actually put on a plan that was 4 pages long and impossible to complete. I tried my best but the situation got so bad I ended up quitting without a job lined up. It is not the best idea to just quit but my mental health was being affected.

3. Mike MillerJanuary 27,2023 at 2:23PM UTC

   Once you make a complaint they will attack your performance, it just be protocol because I'm going thru that after I got bit by a pit bull at work. It does effect your mental health. I'm not sure what word I want to use it's like they do it so you lose your temper. Antoganize you but it's a bit more ductile but you know something had changed but just you

4. AnonymousJanuary 27,2023 at 2:20PM UTC

   Mine too. I'm not sure what to do but I'm going to see a lawyer today

5. AnonymousJanuary 27,2023 at 4:20PM UTC

   Toxic work environments are so difficulty to navigate! Toxicity is not worth your time and energy. I think the longer you stay, it will only get worse and you will become miserable.

   I know it's hard looking for jobs, but I would start looking for something else! See what is out there and apply to jobs that interest you.

   If you get an exit interview when you leave, tell them you felt that this place of employment did not meet your standards in regards to respect and positive growth in a work environment.

   I hope you find a job that is better!

6. AnonymousJanuary 27,2023 at 5:49PM UTC

   To make your decision, you need to be very clear on what you hope the outcome is and what you would like to gain?

7. AnonymousJanuary 27,2023 at 7:34PM UTC

   This is a really hard choice. I know because I’ve been in your exact situation.

   I think that part of the answer depends on what “go with the flow” means. If you are being asked to do something illegal or unethical, hold your ground and refuse.

   Otherwise, I’d suggest that you disengage emotionally and adopt a “gray rock” persona. Be polite, brief and factual. Do your work well (for your own self-respect), but focus on your job search, your family and on your future.

   If the toxicity directed against you is discriminatory— that is, based on your race, gender, ethnicity, religion, beliefs, age or sexual preference —document the situation (brief, factual dated notes written and stored outside of work) and find an excellent plaintiffs’ side (ie represents employees) employment attorney to negotiate a financial settlement in exchange for your resignation. The lawyer will be paid from the settlement (33% — 40% to the attorney is typical.) Your first consultation should be free, so feel free to shop around.

   Also please know that there is no shame in leaving a toxic situation. Walking away can be empowering, if it is financially viable. If you do resign before you find another job, craft a non-controversial explanation for prospective employers (example: I wanted to shift to a position with more of an emphasis on xxx, and resigned to focus on my job search.)

   Finally, practice excellent self-care at this stressful time. Leave the toxicity at the office, spend time with supportive friends and family, and engage in activities that uplift you. If you need counseling and/or medication, consult your doctor or EAP. Community-run mental health services charge on a sliding scale linked to income, if cost is a consideration.

8. AnonymousJanuary 28,2023 at 6:39AM UTC

   Your integrity isn't on the line if you're not breaking the law or doing something wrong in a public way. Speaking your mind could come across as smugness, so dial it back and plan your escape. You can't change those people. They got there first.

9. AnonymousJanuary 28,2023 at 1:55PM UTC

   Are you comfortable giving a bit more detail about how the situation became toxic? Cause toxic can mean a lot of things and it would help with framing guidance.

10. AnonymousJanuary 28,2023 at 6:51PM UTC

    Stay the course and depending upon the field you are in either speak up professionally about kindness and integrity or find an outlet outside of work where you can decompress. As they say its a small valley...you never know who will witness your speaking out that might affect your future possibilities.

11. Changemaker357453January 29,2023 at 1:41PM UTC

    It depends on what you mean by toxic. Speaking from my experience only: When it was clear my complaints would not be addressed, I made an exit plan and resigned after 7 years with that company. I did not regret my decision. If you choose to leave, this is a good time to do it. There are lots of options in the current job market. Good luck.

12. AnonymousJanuary 29,2023 at 2:07PM UTC

    When you no longer feel like you're part of a team despite communicating with upper management, it may be time to leave.

    Talking to managers about your work environment/experiences may fall on deaf ears/on people who are not problem solvers or don't care, it's time to leave the toxic pool. When workers no longer feel they are doing their best and being appreciated for their effort, it's no longer worth your health to stay.

13. Nicolette ThompsonJanuary 29,2023 at 1:59PM UTC

    I had a similar situation - I went from a situation that was AMAZING to borderline abusive.

    I let it be known that I thought things were incorrect. I let it be known to levels up and to lateral leadership. Then, when change did not occur (but before it was a problem) I went with the approach of show up, shut up, and wear beige. (In other words, show up and do your job well enough and basically disappear.) People thought I had left the company a year before I did, because I literally disappeared. When my (toxic AF) manager noticed this, I told her I was done. Done fighting when the team doesn’t want to hear it, done referencing best practices that would not be followed, done.

    I found an amazing consulting firm that is such a great fit - and I hope the same for you!

14. AnonymousJanuary 29,2023 at 2:03PM UTC

    I recommend keep looking for a new role and focus on that. Try to minimise contact with the toxic people. Toxic people will always make you look like the problem. usually they target someone much more experienced and successful than themselves so don’t worry about your reputation or integrity this is the game they play.
    the toxic workplace will not get any better they never do. I have been in several toxic workplaces and when I spoke to HR or went to a manger about certain individuals it always backfired. I recently left one toxic workplace.I had mentioned to my manager what was happening with toxic colleagues who were bullying me on the team and I basically got told I was the problem!!! i decided from then on to say nothing and told HR in my exit interview and survey the toxic colleagues were reason I was leaving. I said in the most positive and matter of fact way but the company usually does NOTHING!!!companies seem to do nothing about get rid of bad employees or improving a toxic workplace even when there is high turnover and complaints (which is what happened in all the toxic work environments I e worked in. There are even Glassdoor reviews going back years complaining about the same people) Toxic workplaces are not worth your time, energy or mentalhealth. I recommend seeing a counsellor or therapist also and talk things through that’s what will keep you sane as you plan your exit. Keep applying, keep going and hope you find a new role soon. When you are out of there you will feel so much better!!

15. AnonymousJanuary 29,2023 at 2:21PM UTC

    Following because I am in the same boat and I am a Woman of color so doesn't get easier for me. I got to know just after joining that the position I took last year has a high turnover rate. I realized within a couple months why so. Things were manageable for an year, but now the cliquish attitude, lack of support, and the toxicity from levels higher than mine is giving me enough anxiety to look outside.

    I am grateful for everyone sharing thoughts here and giving hope. Much love

16. AnonymousJanuary 29,2023 at 3:44PM UTC

    I'm right there with you! Been at a place for a year come February 22nd but things are becoming so toxic and I'm now having to file a harassment complaint against a guy who's not a poc and has tenure. Although we are unionized, I don't know how to get rid of him outside of leaving. I can't afford to leave until I find something that pays me the same or more.

17. Focused721350January 29,2023 at 2:52PM UTC

    Good Morning, ;)

    I'M ONLY GOING TO SAY THIS ONE MORE TIME! LIKE MY DR USE TO SAY! THERE'S "NO JOB" WORTH YOUR HEALTH!!!!!

    Good Luck and God Bless, Ms. T ;)

18. AnonymousJanuary 29,2023 at 2:59PM UTC

    I recently left a toxic work place, the manager I had harassed me, made feel like I was less than the others and so much more . I stayed there for 6 years 4 of those years I was thinking g it’s just me, or maybe I can get into another department . I was getting sick at home , gained weight and was chronically stressed.

    I finally started looking for another job , I’m a female over 58 and was worried my age would be an issue but I felt so bad that I knew something had to change in order for me to be ok and work until I found something new .

    I decided the stress was not worth my health and was able to change my attitude. I liked a lot of the people I worked with and focused on them I made self be more positive ( fake it til you make it ) I practiced positivity and I did my best at work I took every class they have , I networked made some new friends while it was never great it was livable without me Getting sick

    took me awhile but I got a new job that I love with a boss that’s 100% better than the last and I love my new team.

    find a way for you to avoid the toxic people do your work but keep looking with a positive attitude and mind set focus on what’s good and if the company gives extra trainings or LinkedIn learning take advantage what you can hone your skills or create new ones and keep looking forward . That’s what I did I’m so much happier and so much healthier

19. Arlene Frances Gottardo (Bryak)January 29,2023 at 3:03PM UTC

    I’m sorry that you’re going through this, but only you alone have to decide when to go. Keep looking, and keep at your present job- until then, yes, I would do my best.

20. Arlene Frances Gottardo (Bryak)January 29,2023 at 3:04PM UTC

    However, IF your sanity & health are under fire, you must go.

21. AnonymousJanuary 29,2023 at 3:41PM UTC

    Following and also going through this as a WOC.

22. Leo FrenchJanuary 29,2023 at 3:46PM UTC

    You do have a hard decision to make. If you don't have something lined up down the road my suggestion would be to stick it out until you have a better handle on your future.

23. AnonymousJanuary 29,2023 at 3:49PM UTC

    Maybe in this period of time you should stop and listen your own intuition it leads you to the right path it is okay to spare an hour or two to find out is it really you can deal with if it is not it is also okay to get help from the people you love for the financial support.

24. AnonymousJanuary 29,2023 at 3:50PM UTC

    I was in your situation last year. I had no other choice but to stick it out til I found something. It was hard, I was seeing a therapist to help me thru that difficult time.

25. Martha MannJanuary 29,2023 at 3:54PM UTC

    this is a hard situation to be in, so I hope you find the next position that is right for you very soon. In the meantime, try to lie low, but also know there are times when you will want to say something. Only you will know what those situations are, when the toxic coworkers have gone to far. But I agree with other posters…the world is small and we tend to continue to run into people again and again even when we change jobs. Evaluate whether you want to carry that interaction with you into the next time meeting. Sometimes you do (matters of integrity or ethics)…but often not.

26. AnonymousJanuary 29,2023 at 4:05PM UTC

    Sorry this is happening to you. I guess it depends on whether you feel you’ll need a reference from them for your next job. If you don’t feel you’ll need them as a reference for your next job, then stay true to yourself while you’re there. Try to avoid burning bridges. Best of luck to you!

27. AnonymousJanuary 29,2023 at 4:28PM UTC

    My suggestion is to continue to look for another job, while standing up for yourself. Even if it doesn't change for you, it might cause change for coworkers or future employees. Do you have a way to report to HR anonymously or do you trust anyone in your HR to talk about what you are experiencing without risk to your current position?

28. AnonymousJanuary 29,2023 at 5:17PM UTC

    You do what is best for you. If you need to stick it out till you find a better opportunity than lay low. If you are unable to compromise your beliefs and want to stand up for yourself then do that. You might feel one way one day and different the next. I was in a similar situation and new within one day that I needed to get out. Took 2 months to find my new adventure but I never compromised my beliefs. You got this!!

29. AnonymousJanuary 29,2023 at 5:18PM UTC

    I am in the same position, and have been in this position before as well. It is much better not to say anything and quietly find a position that’s going to make you happier. The only thing that happens by standing up for yourself and voicing your concerns, as well as letting managers know about the workplace toxicity, is they mark you as a problem while continuing to deny the issues. I have been there, and I know this is very true. Best thing to do is to update your résumé and ask those questions about the new position you go into. Good luck, I am planning the same strategy right now!

30. Barbie ConedyJanuary 29,2023 at 5:47PM UTC

    I have always been the type of person to hold my tongue until I’m too upset to hold back and I found that it was not healthy. If there is a way to communicate affectively before blowing a fuse I think you should do that. If you don’t have confidence that it will be accepted then understand the type of people you are dealing with and patiently wait for your exit. Speaking up and helping people understand you is never bad, but causing conflict can suffer long term consequences so be careful. I hope you do the right thing. P.s my mom always told me if you don’t have nothing nice to say don’t say at all. Although I truly understand what she meant by now, but I beg to differ. It’s not about what you say it’s how you say it and how you get your audience to understand what you mean. Good luck and I hope you make the best decision for you.

31. KateCaseyJanuary 29,2023 at 6:12PM UTC

    I’d recommend leaving. I’ve been in a similar situation and hung on too long. There are two bad things that can come from staying which will likely have a longer more difficult impact on you than just leaving now. First, and most importantly, staying at a toxic workplace will wear at your self-esteem, which will make it difficult for you to function and set proper boundaries at your next workplace. Second, a toxic workplace can be damaging to your career in the long run. You may get fired, or pushed to resign, putting you in a difficult position to find a job anyway. You may be pressed to do things that are damaging to you ethically or professionally. It’s better to leave now on your own terms.

32. AnonymousJanuary 29,2023 at 6:15PM UTC

    There's an old saying about 'flogging a dead horse'. I myself have over stayed my welcome in some of my past employment. Don't wait until you are at your wits end and require stress leave. Avoid the drama and maintain your integrity while forwarding your resume.

33. CourtneyJanuary 29,2023 at 6:40PM UTC

    It sounds like you are mentally checking out and rightfully so-it’s not easy when you are in an environment that has taken a wrong turn. You have realized what you want and don’t want in a work environment. If this is something you feel in your gut, then you know it is time to look for something that is fulfilling to you and where you will be valued. You’re not wrong to stay or leave your job as you will find another path to walk and you will make it-I believe in you!

34. AnonymousJanuary 29,2023 at 8:21PM UTC

    I’ve been in that spot before. Yes, keep looking for the next job. In the meantime, pick your battles. If it truly affects your integrity or reputation, or is illegal, then say something and document it. If it is anything else, as a prior poster said, be beige. Save that energy for the job hunt.

35. Dana HeiligenscheinJanuary 29,2023 at 8:34PM UTC

    I am in that situation at the moment, I just got promoted to a new department but that department unfortunately has a manager that allows people who vape to vape in the meeting rooms and on the production floor which are closed and tight spaces. I am a nonsmoker with Systemic Lupus Erythematosus and undergoing cancer biologics treatment. It is not allowed on our employee manual and it is a terminable offense to smoke in the office premise but since we work on grave yard shift, EHS is not avaliable to look around. I developed Pneumonia and Bronchial Asthma due to it and I already filed a legal complaint to our HR. Because of speaking up, I am now bullied by my vaper colleagues. It is already becoming very toxic but I am holding on until I find a new job. I am currently actively searching for one. What I do at work now is clock in on time, work with my headset and music on so I do not hear their hurtful words against me for speaking up, clock out after doing the job properly, then go home.

36. AnonymousJanuary 29,2023 at 8:48PM UTC

    Since the bullying occurred after going to HR it is considered retaliation I believe. I do not recommend saying anything else. Or you can call an attorney. I think finding a job elsewhere sounds maybe better in this situation. This happened to me after I filed a complaint. The property manager followed me all over town. She was seriously sick. I do feel HR was somewhat on my side but it was not kept confidential so my trust was out the window. I left. I hope my experience help some. Jobs are tough these days. I could have sued huge and even my manager admitted that but I have no time for all that.

37. R.A. AndrewsJanuary 30,2023 at 12:03AM UTC

    I'm so sorry. Hope you find something else quickly!

38. AnonymousJanuary 29,2023 at 9:14PM UTC

    I think since you are leaving, just keep a neutral position as much as possible. I’ve been in this situation before and it was not fun. The Buddha says to detach from what is not meant for with grace. Its unfortunate that people are that way. But do what you can to take care of yourself and decompress. Keep your integrity and dignity and walk away peacefully. I hope you find a job with a positive environment.

39. AnonymousJanuary 30,2023 at 1:03AM UTC

    I was in a similar situation a while ago with a bully supervisor who had free rein from upper management to mistreat me. It took me about six months to find a new job that was acceptable to me. I took a lateral transfer-- wasn't ideal-- but I was able to leave on my terms. In the meantime, I did choose my battles carefully and stood up for myself, especially when they broke labor laws. If you do stand up for yourself, be prepared for them to fight back especially if they have a lot of contempt for you already. Others in my shoes just quit without a new job lined up, but I refused to let them ruin my career.

40. AnonymousJanuary 30,2023 at 11:26AM UTC

    Lay low and liberate yourself - the best answer to a fool (or fools) is silence! You are needed elsewhere :)

41. Laura SanderaJanuary 30,2023 at 1:42PM UTC

    I would stay "above the line". In other words, don't engage in negative behavior. If you feel there is an opportunity to speak up in a kind and helpful way, I would encourage you to do that. I always tell people to remember that every day and every interaction is a job interview. You never know who is witnessing something that could change their perception of you.

42. AnonymousJanuary 30,2023 at 3:06PM UTC

    you're planning to leave. So, you've already made the decision that the company doesn't align with your values. Does it matter that they KNOW this? I mean, if you keep saying things...Are they going to change? Doubt it very much. But what COULD happen is that you are asked to leave. (been there/done that). Don't die on the sword. Stay under the radar and leave as soon as you find something. If your company wanted to do better, they would already.

43. Anonymous 1January 30,2023 at 5:51PM UTC

    Agreed stay under the radar while you search.

44. AnonymousJanuary 30,2023 at 3:53PM UTC

    You're not very specific about what the issues are there. Are they integral to your job or just going to be what the company does down the line? Are they asking you to do something illegal or against your religious/moral beliefs? Or is it just something you don't want to do, because there is a big difference between all of those.

    You get paid for your job, not for commentary or opinions. Do your job and don't engage with people who are negative. Bump up the search for a new one.

45. Anonymous 1January 30,2023 at 5:57PM UTC

    If you are leaving … my .02 is do not defend, justify, argue or explain… without knowing specifics of what is going on … and that you are looking anyway… keep your peace, increase your search and don’t get sucked into the trap of justifying, arguing , defending or explaining your stance. If the environment is toxic - they will not hear it anyway.

46. EPJanuary 31,2023 at 7:21AM UTC

    So true. Mostly women too. I hate that.