Stay or Go

Anonymous

April 22,2023 at 2:45PM UTC

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Stay or Go

I started in a leadership role in a new company, in a not so ideal situation. There was a person that was not performing so I was brought into lead this team instead of that person. It's been awkward since day one as you can imagine.... That person now has resigned so that's not a bad thing.

But, this place is not a good fit for me, from a culture and values perspective, and I am feeling pretty down about this situation, and it is leading me into a depressive state. I am seeking help in that respect from a therapist, and decided to look in the market for a potential move. But if I resign, I would put this team and my manager in a tough situation, I am starting to feel a lot of guilt for possibly quitting. But I know I am not going to be happy here, and it is going to start to show as I am extremely frustrated with the culture here and the hot mess I inherited...

I am pretty sure that leaving here any time soon will burn this bridge and the guilt may eat me up.

What would you do or any advice so I can get some perspectives?

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AnonymousApril 22,2023 at 5:09PM UTC
In my experience, a poor fit negatively impacts the entire team. Maybe reframe? Work isn't life, but in some cases, the relationship analogy applies. You shouldn't stay in a bad marriage for the kids' sake. Instead, model courage and self-respect for their sake because they know and feel it, too. Much healthier all around to be as open as you can (without getting too personal or damaging your reputation), acknowledge that it isn't working out, and move on. If you're miserable, you're not able to give this team what they need. And sticking around may be preventing them from finding someone else who may be a better fit (or from giving some deserving person the opportunity to be promoted from within).
AnonymousApril 22,2023 at 9:25PM UTC
I completely agree. In addition, when you do speak to your manager about your decision to resign, you can offer some additional notice (if appropriate and presuming you don’t have another job). That way you’ve communicated your decision but also considered their needs by giving them some extra time to find a replacement.
AnonymousApril 24,2023 at 1:05PM UTC
First of all, I would be surprised if they hadn't already knew that employee would just end up leaving, that's not on you. It was expected. If you don't like it and you're depressed? Why is that on the back burner as a concern. Take care of you and you will be a better employee at the next opportunity. Health first.
AnonymousApril 24,2023 at 1:21PM UTC
Are you following the advice of the professional therapist you trusted your situation to? I'm not sure anyone here knows enough about you or your situation to provide better guidance. The only thing more you could do is also engage a career counselor to help determine how this might impact future opportunities. Take care of your mental health first because your career depends on it.
AnonymousApril 24,2023 at 4:44PM UTC
Maybe you see why they left?
AnonymousApril 25,2023 at 3:46PM UTC
If you continue to decline, you will not be able to perform in a productive way. Get out quickly and politely. The company owes you nothing and you owe them nothing at this early stage.
AnonymousApril 25,2023 at 5:22PM UTC
Let's flip this conversation on it's ear. You achieved a lot for the company and the team and got them to a good place. On the heels of that take that experience and showcase that to your next potential employer that you were able to do this but long term the company direction doesn't align with your career aspirations. Start to look asap as your mental health and overall well being is far more important than saving your employer from their drama. You got this!
AnonymousApril 26,2023 at 7:38PM UTC
Sounds like you have your answer based on what you wrote. Time to leave …