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How do you cope with feeling under-valued as an employee who gives their all in every situation?

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Anonymous

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How do you cope with feeling under-valued as an employee who gives their all in every situation? I continuously go above and beyond while four of my co-workers just skate by. Of the four who are slackers, two are one/two tardies awat from being fired, one is a closet alcoholic with a history of verbal abuse towards fellow co-workers and management, and the fourth one is technically less than part time (almost an in-call if you will) and apparently does not have to adhere to the same rules that everyone else in the entire company has to follow. I know no job is perfect but this one is getting completely out of control at an alarmingly rapid rate. Guidance is greatly appreciated and welcomed.

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  1. Kat

    Maybe it's time to find a company that values you and your efforts. It doesn't sound like this place is a good fit for you. In the meantime, stop going above and beyond. I know it's hard to let go of wanting to help. But there's no point in you wasting your time and energy for no reward. Do your job only-just what's in your job description and nothing else. Don't help people, don't fix their work, don't pick up the slack for underperforming co-workers unless specifically asked to by your supervisor. It's the only way for people to see who's pulling their weight and who isn't. Polish up your resume and see what else is out there.

  2. Anonymous

    Unfortunately, my supervisor brought me in from a different department to oversee the the projects in this department because he knew he couldn't count on a lot of the then current team. One quit because she decided working was too much effort and another one quit to find a job that lets her play on her phone all day. Neither position has been filled which is probably why the supervisor is reluctant to let anyone else go at the moment.

  3. Anonymous

    Yeah that is so NOT your problem. You need to do what’s right for you.

  4. Anonymous

    I am in the very same boat.

  5. Anonymous

    I am so sorry. I don't wish this on anyone. I hope your situation gets better as soon as possible.

  6. Anonymous

    Sounds like a miserable team to work with. If they're sticking around, that's a clear TELL of how little management respects, values, and cares about its employees. I'd get my resume together and start job hunting asap. That's no way I'd want to spend 8 hours every workday.

  7. Anonymous

    It is beyond miserable. The only things keeping me sane are my off days and my paid time off days.

  8. Anonymous

    Well I'm always one to be realistic and not project my hopes and dreams onto any given situation.

    So this train wreck is just that. It is exactly what it is.

    No guidance here. Just personal choices. For some reason you are choosing to be there, to somehow try and be valued and earn some standing there. But unfortunately this is as good as it gets.

    I would, for your sanity and self-worth, redirect some of your energy and focus on your personal life and not look for your value and validation in your dysfunctional workplace. Grow, learn new things and create a joyful existence in the areas of your life you can change and control.

    Accept your workplace and coworkers for what and who they are. If you decide to stay then invest only what you feel you can without hope of it changing and without feeling undervalued. That may mean pulling back so you can focus on your life to feel fulfilled.

    It's honorable to work hard and give your all. It's silly to invest that effort in dysfunction.

    I think you have some soul-searching to do.

  9. Joan Williams, Senior Talent Acquisition Specialist

    Why in the world are you still working at a company that treats you so poorly.

    The things you mentioned above are choices you're making - you're choosing to go above and beyond. You're choosing to work at a company that doesn't value you or your work.

    Choose you instead. Choose to be happy. Fire up that resume and find another job.

  10. Anonymous

    I live in a small town without a lot of job opportunities and I am limited to where I can reside due to an ongoing custody battle with my ex, who ironically enough, is free to travel freely as he pleases since he is not the custodial parent.

  11. Joan Williams, Senior Talent Acquisition Specialist

    Sorry to hear that.

    Is your job something that can be done remotely?

  12. Anonymous

    Im kind of in the same situation but I stopped going above and beyond and just do the average. Due to financial issues and an upcoming surgery, I am staying until after. Surgery will put my out a bit. But def start looking ASAP if you can.

  13. Anonymous

    Thank you for your input. I wish you the best with your surgery and your future endeavors.

  14. Anonymous

    Yeah since I’m not the fave at work, I get the same raise if I went above and beyond. Sometimes you can’t win. I wish you luck!

  15. ANDREA RAGGAMBI

    Trust your gut and think about it this way: What advice would you give a good friend experiencing the same thing? When we're 'in it', it's hard to see a clear way forward. If your mental, emotional and physical health are suffering because your employer tolerates this other type of dysfunction, you're not going to do your best anyways. I'm guessing you're not going to truly achieve your potential there because they are blind to or are ignoring performance and behavioral issues. You really have three choices - stay and do nothing; leave; or stay and change your attitude or interactions and see if something changes for you. Perhaps set a 'toleration deadline'. Decide by when things need to be different and make a plan for how so you know even if the day to day isn't ideal, you have a plan to improve things for yourself. Good luck!

  16. Anonymous

    I needed to hear this today. Thank you.

  17. JNel Torre

    I am in this position. I confronted management- they shrugged. So I’ve started calling out the mismanagement and dirty laundry in front of internal and external customers. I also took it upon myself to do things that cause change organizationally. The other groups usually ask for managers approval and of course my managers are afraid to say no because the requests point out all the things management has become complicit in accepting. If you trust your hr or union rep- ask for their help. I’m doing all this and laughing at managements discomfort. I am actively looking for a better fit.

  18. Anonymous

    As someone that has been part of a team like this, I’m guessing that much of the behaviors you’re seeing are people adapting to the culture. Why should I work hard, or work at all if “Sue” doesn’t have to even show up? And then it grows, and before you know it, half the group is dysfunctional. No one is working, people disappear for large parts of the workday, and everything is a hot potato. This is what leadership is about, and you don’t have any. My best advice? Leave before you “catch” whatever it is! I didn’t leave fast enough and being completely honest about it, I lost much of my work ethic. I saw what happened and pulled myself up, but being lazy and collecting a good paycheck is a tough thing to give up. In the end, my tipping point pivoted on personal career goals, and I got out of there!

  19. Anonymous

    as much as I’ve witnessed this over my 40 year professional career, I was never able to coast or just do as little as possible. I think there’s a part of character that either you’re like this or you’re not, but if that is the culture of the company, I agree with one of the other comments you probably should start looking for another position.

  20. Anonymous

    I appreciate your opinion on my character - lol! But for everyone else on the life journey of figuring who you are and want to be, as well as what type of work environment is best for you to thrive…when you are absolutely surrounded by it, at every level of the organization, it’s really hard not to have it rub off on you!

    We had two people that would leave their desk looking like they’d be right back, that would leave for the day - just disappear, and one of them sat right outside their manager’s office. Everyone knew, and nothing was done. And there was more, all of which had an effect on morale and engagement.

    Before this particular office, I’d have said exactly what you wrote - I couldn’t do it. For those of us that are affected by workplace culture, I think it can become a self-preservation mechanism, and habits can be hard to break.

  21. Anonymous

    I agree!!!!

  22. Melissa

    I agree with you and have also had others rub off on me in a negative way. It's easy to say you'd never do this or do that, but until you are presented with "you" in the situation, you can't emphatically state how you'd react or be -in a situation you've not personally had.

  23. Anonymous

    I agree. I don’t think you suddenly became lazy, you are or you aren’t. I have never been able to be that way.

  24. Anonymous

    Exact same situation ! Don't even think about sticking around you will feel like you deserve more and the frustration and resentment will grow...

  25. Anonymous

    You are so right. I feel like this "whatever, who cares?" attitude IS spreading like wildfire.

  26. Anonymous

    When the company you work for is buying back stock to pay shareholder dividends, or give bonuses to executives, while the people doing the work are not getting adequate wage increases, why should I care about that organization? I do my work, I leave. If they wanted me to care, they wouldn’t be asking me to pick up the slack for an extended period of time. I’ll pitch in, but I’m not doing it forever, or for a promise of something we all know won’t happen.

  27. Anonymous

    Yup! I am in a similar situation with a govt job and I work pretty hard… give it my all. My lead worker, she is amazing, but I see the stress in her daily, as she contends with one of the people that work with us… this idiot has been “quietly quitting” with their 25 min breaks, showing up late, or sometimes 1/2 and hour early so they can leave early for the day and wandering around. It completely sucks and drains on everyone. What really is terrible how it tears on the morale of everyone and how management is so busy dealing with their meetings to not do anything about it ( you have to practically commit murder to get fired from a govt job). I along with my coworkers finally said something since it has been going on since the individual started. Nothing has been done to correct it. We are simply expected to pick up the slack.

  28. Anonymous

    I empathize with you. What you have described is not what has been tagged as “quiet quitting,” though. Quiet quitters are those of us that are doing our job, but not the unpaid, unrecognized extras. And, regardless of what your employer does, if you are not paid for what you do (out of your job description, extra hours, etc.), are you really being recognized? I’m not there for pizza and a pat on the head, I’m there to make a living and support my family. Folks coming in 30 minutes late, taking extra long breaks, leaving the building for the day at noon, are not being quiet about it, they are challenging their leadership to fire them. In your organization, is anyone else getting paid more for picking up the slack? From the quiet quitting perspective, if not, why are you doing it? Your work ethic is enabling the organization’s managers to not manage, and the slacker to slack. The good workers will eventually become quiet quitters and the work of the slacker will not get done, leading them to finally manage, or the workers to leave. Track your work and your day - so if anyone comes back to you on the slacker’s work not being done, you can show what you do. I’d go as far as to show how you’ve done a few things to help, but also show how you can’t do it all.

  29. Anonymous

    I’ve learned the hard way there’s nothing you can do to be valued in a situation like that. I spent several years giving my best and at that particular job while the others spent their days playing candy crush and gossiping. It amounted to nothing. Just a layoff. Some places you could walk on water and double their profits and you won’t be recognized for it. Try to find a place that will recognize you for your talent and work ethic. This place is clearly not.

  30. Anonymous

    I'm sorry that happened to you. Thank you for your insight and advice.

  31. Anonymous

    There is no coping. You have to change your mind about your value and what you are aiming for. If other people's validation is your motivation, you always feel how you feel. Think deeper about what you truly want to achieve in your job or career and focus on what it would take to get there.

    Change your mind, change your outcome.

  32. Anonymous

    To a point this is true. However if you are facing bullying and constant disapproval at work for whatever reason, it WILL affect you eventually.

  33. Anonymous

    I agree which leads to my next point: Generate Options. OP will need to start looking at other avenues of employment either by lateral transfer, upskilling, or starting a side hustle. None of the options are simple nor easy but they will provide the ability and freedom to strike your own path and literally place you in the environment you want.

  34. Anonymous

    This is true, and definitely not easy. I found out after taking my current job that my role was to provide her relief while she goes out on maternity. This wasn't disclosed to me. She has been protecting her status as the only person who can do her job while simultaneously being unreasonable and gaslighting to me in private, while in front of others pretending to be nice. It's been horrible. No one else knows the job and there is no other support. I've been trying to find another job while working 12 hour days. I'm emotionally and mentally and physically exhausted. I have begun to question myself but still searching. It is not easy as it is breaking me down. Very toxic situation.

  35. Anonymous

    Her situation and the reasons behind it doesn't change your actions. You have to take care of yourself, whether pulling back your efforts at this job or redirecting your efforts towards a better outcome (getting yourself out of this situation to a better or less toxic environment). Commit yourself to a better result, unapologetically, before the situation dictates the outcomes for you.

  36. Terry Costello

    I’ve been a long time reader of fairygodbless for a long time now. I’ve also been unable to work due to multiple health issues. After reading these messages about Coworkers,Management and Just all around people who think all they have to do is Show up and then go back to where ever their from at the end of their shift, makes me question, if it was not for the money. Do I really truly want to go back out in the cruel world of a job.

    I have been on SSDI for the past 5-6 Years.

  37. Anonymous

    Honestly, if you don't have to go back, please don't. It's a 3 ring circus out in the working world.

  38. Terry Costello

    Anonymous,

    You just hit the nail on the head. Anywhere you work. It does not matter what occupation your in. There are people who thinks all they have to do for their paychecks is show up.

    Thank you for not making me feel more worthless and depressed then I already am.

  39. Anonymous

    ??

  40. Debbie Walsh - Smith

    I've been doing the job of 2 people for 10 months. The stress level is off the scale. I started actively seeking another position. The clincher for me was a very paltry yearly raise with zero feedback. Luckily, I may have a new position lined up making more money and less hours.

  41. Anonymous

    "paltry yearly raise with zero feedback" - RELATABLE!!!!!!!!!

  42. Anonymous

    If your stress level is that high for ANY of you reading this, maybe you should consider taking a leave of absence. You'll receive medical leave pay and state disability to supplement, and they cannot eliminate your employment. Never thought I would do that, but finally didn't found a much better job while I was off. Went back to old job at end of leave and gave my resignation. Best decision ever.There ARE decent jobs still out there!! Make a difference in the workforce with your unique giftedness the Lord has provided.

  43. Anonymous

    I'm in the same boat. Spent 9 months essentially babysitting a new employee who just could not seem to get things right, then 3 months covering while they were on a leave that was only supposed to be 2 weeks. I've now been doing their job (after they were finally fired) for 8 months, along with my job and being a team leader for 8 others in my position within different departments. When I did agree to take on the 2nd role permanently, HR cut my proposed increase by over half and refused to consider backpay for the 3 months I was covering and expect to be temporary. The manager for the other position agreed to guarantee 6% at the next company wide raise (usually only 3%) but apparently didn't get it approved by HR, so they would only give me 4%. The manager apologized and claims they'll get me another almost 4% in a few months, but at this point, I just don't feel like the company values people who go above and beyond. So I'm waiting to hear back after I had an interview for a job making $5K+ more than the second raise would be, working 100% remote, and with no employees I have to babysit, train, or support like I have been.

  44. Anonymous

    I have heard several stories like this in regards to County Government.

  45. Anonymous

    I have sympathy for you, it truly sucks to be working your butt off and watch those who do nothing around you get paid. Keep something in your mind, and it is sad, but it is true. You don't own the company, and if you did those people would not make it working for you. Unfortunately, none of this is your responsibility and if management promulgates that culture, nothing you say or want to do will change it. If you are not happy with that, you need to move on to where you are rewarded (and not with pizza, or donuts in the breakroom, but with a hefty paycheck!)

  46. Anonymous

    and... as far as coping? It is out of your control and not worth the energy it takes to keep thinking about what someone else isn't doing.

  47. Terry Costello

    Easy, Just do your Eight and then get out of the Gate. Also keep looking for your dream job while you’re still earning money.

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