My boss is micromanager

15 Comments

1. AnonymousMarch 24,2025 at 3:25PM UTC

   Then I would find out from an attorney what your situation calls for.

2. AnonymousMarch 24,2025 at 4:31PM UTC

   This was me a year ago. You need to leave!

3. KimMarch 24,2025 at 5:36PM UTC

   Leave....Immediately. You do not need this.

4. AnonymousMarch 25,2025 at 2:01AM UTC

   Being micro-managed isn't good, however, it will take a lot of documentation to say it's harassment. From what you've shared, it's not that and a waste time on a labor lawyer. Also, not sure what you would want from a lawyer, from this snapshot.

5. AnonymousMarch 25,2025 at 3:08PM UTC

   Great I really don’t have the dates but remember started feeling bad very early at this job. Yesterday he told me he needs a person who make everything at his way and I am doing everything on my way. Also told me that he lost Cliente’s by service, that I am now selling g ( Iam customer service manager not sales ) , he forced me to talk to all muy family and friends about insurance. Also that I am. It a good fit for his “high performance team “.

6. Maggie SoldanoMarch 25,2025 at 9:48PM UTC

   I’m really sorry you’re dealing with this—it sounds exhausting and demoralizing.

   A micromanaging, overly critical boss can wear down even the most confident person, and it’s understandable that this is affecting your mental health.

   While frustrating and harmful, this kind of behavior isn’t necessarily illegal, so a labor lawyer likely isn’t the best path. Instead, focus on what you can control.

   Start by mentally reframing this job—it’s a stepping stone, not a life sentence. Your boss’s behavior is about them, not you, so don’t waste energy battling for trust you may never get. Instead, make your job as frictionless as possible by giving them what they need upfront (status updates, check-ins) to minimize their hovering.

   Meanwhile, focus on your exit—update your resume, connect with industry contacts, and explore new opportunities. Your goal isn’t to fix this job; it’s to get through it with your confidence intact while setting yourself up for something better.

   Bad bosses don’t last forever, and neither will this job.

7. AnonymousMarch 26,2025 at 12:35PM UTC

   Facing the SAME. I've been at my job for 21 years and it's so bad I've started the job search. Got a new manager about 2 1/2 years ago. Tried my best to go with the flow, but I just cannot anymore. At least 10 colleagues have left because of this one person. It's a shame. She will understand once all the institutional knowledge is gone and she has no idea where to find info to understand why things are the way they are. Thankfully I am able to retire so either I get another job, or the end the year is it for me. I cannot go on like this. I'm so sorry you are in this situation, but others are right...it's not really a "legal" matter and most times HR is not the best route either.

8. AnonymousMarch 27,2025 at 4:03PM UTC

   I was a legal Secretary for 20 years. When my job ended (firm was closing) I later took legal position near my home. Really needed the position. After the first day I felt I had made a bad decision. They either micromanaged or did not give ANY direction on what THEY wanted and it was also a toxic environment. Gave a two week notice after two weeks after going home in tears everyday. Found out from another legal Secretary that other secretaries (more than three) had quit or walked out after lunch. Do not know if they ever found anyone else.

9. AnonymousMarch 28,2025 at 4:13PM UTC

   Take back control of your job and life! I would arrange a 1-1 with your manager (perhaps with your HR business partner if you have one and feel comfortable bringing them into the conversation) and let them know how you are feeling. You can try in that conversation to give him an example of how to course correct you in a way that is not demeaning and is a productive way of getting you to work the way he expects. Let him know what your strengths are and let him know that you can be trusted (say that explicitly) to do the job he hired (or inherited) you for. Let him know that you need room to do the work and also the room to make mistakes sometimes and to learn from those mistakes. It's a style clash but it can be worked out if you choose to let go of the emotional side of getting feedback and also giving him some too. Now I am not saying that you won't feel some kind of way when he criticizes you but you need to show him how to give you that feedback in a more productive way, speak up for yourself too and to be able to openly talk about things. You don't really have a case (I work in HR/legal) unless he is sexually harassing you or specifically creating a hostile workplace. Neither situation is easy to prove and the legal road is long. If you get a lawyer you will pay big money and may not be able to recover anything and likely will lose the job. I'm not trying to deter you from doing this if you have enough evidence of some specific things directed solely to you. It will be painful and emotional to go through that legally as well and will likely cause you more emotional distress. I have seen folks on both sides of this equation and it's not easy.

   If you want to try to retain the role and do have a conversation with him/HR/legal- inside company, then you may be able to turn this around by being the person you know you are the confident woman they hired who is capable of doing the job. He is just a poor manager (probably doesn't even know how bad he is) and if you stay there you have to train him or ask to be moved to another team (if you can) to stay where you were hired to be excellent. You got this!

10. AnonymousMarch 28,2025 at 7:01PM UTC

    I worked for a sole practitioner (which questionable morals). He didn’t trust me to do anything, including coming in on time. EVERY morning at 8:01, his friend would call and ask for him. Finally, I started picking up the phone and saying “Hi, Barb, yes, I’m here, you know he doesn’t come in until around 9”.

    I just left my resignation notice on his desk at 8:10 a.m one morning. About 6 weeks before his wedding. His former paralegal called me later and said he called her pissed. She then told me he had planned to fire me when he came back from his honeymoon.

11. AnonymousMarch 30,2025 at 1:40PM UTC

    RUN, just run.

    I worked for a micro manager within a government criminal justice department in Colorado. It was pure hell. Her style was to target one of us each day and zero in on what we were doing or not doing. One of her responsibilities was to review affidavits recommending bond revocation that we wrote. What was particularly galling was whatever "error" passed on the documentation last week was suddenly red lined for correction. It was a nightmare. Eventually, she received so many complaints from her staff to her superiors and HR, that they created a new role for her, relieving her of any supervisory responsibilities. This was after her managing "style" (aka bullying), forced several employees to quit or change divisions.

12. Colleen HansonMarch 30,2025 at 3:15PM UTC

    Ugh, working for a micromanager is the WORST! I once worked for a man who required the women in the office to literally keep track of their every move in a notebook. If we took a call, we needed to write it down, went to the bathroom, made a copy, got a cup of coffee, made an invoice, took a payment, etc. He would check our notebooks throughout the day and EVERY minute needed to be accounted for! This was only required for the women; men in the same position did not have to do this. Not only would he check our notebooks, but he would go back behind us and check EVERYTHING we did and ALWAYS wanted it changed; even when we followed his instructions explicitly. Control Freak! He would call us "stupid", "f*cking idiots", etc. and then laugh with the male employees. He would also complain about us not having time to complete everything and did not understand how time consuming it was to sit and write in our notebooks, every detail, after we completed a task! At the time I left, I was the only remaining female in the office because no one lasted more than a few months. One of the worst jobs I ever had! Please try to find something new and get out of there ASAP!

13. RobinMarch 31,2025 at 4:10AM UTC

    I am going through the same thing w/ my employer. All you can do is document everything that is said to you on a daily basis, and date and time, and you don't have a witness, use an event that will be your proof, It's just as good. Just stay strong and know that it's not you, there are so many employers that do this to their employees. And if you can find the reasoning behind why your employer, or manager is doing this, it will than help you to get to the root of the problem, and if it doesn't stop, after you have tried & tried again, contact EEOC. I have heard that HR is actually for the employers, so be careful. P.s. also seek counseling if it has affected you, call a crisis center if you have no one to talk to about it, but becareful who you talk to at work.

14. AnonymousMarch 31,2025 at 12:28PM UTC

    getting a lawyer will do very little for you, except to run up legal costs. Esp if you live/work in an "at will" state. Instead, do your very best and document everything. If necessary, make an appt with HR (but I would try to resolve this positively with your boss/manager). Maybe start looking for another job?

15. AnonymousMarch 31,2025 at 12:30PM UTC

    I’m a manager. So I want to offer a different perspective/devils advocate. Are you doing your very best at work? Are you meeting the requirements/quotas and deadlines? How does your output compare to co-workers? What do your one-on-ones look like, how are your monthly accomplishments? Sometimes it appears managers are picking on employees when in reality, they’re trying to leverage you up from where you are. A lot of times when an employees potential and output don’t match, it looks like what you’ve described. Micromanage, pushed, etc. and sometimes, the manager is actually a jerk. But send emails to recap meetings to your manager. So you’re covering your butt that you’re actually doing what you’re supposed to. Look up your job description from your company. Ensure you match it and save it. What’s in black&white will speak for itself.