Everyone around me is either getting promoted or getting raises, and since being laid off via VDU, I feel worthless and unemployable with a masters degree and lots of professional experience.

22 Comments

1. AnonymousDecember 28,2022 at 3:57PM UTC

   I remember feeling that way.

   It seemed like 'everyone' in my circle had great jobs and was taking PTO to go fun places, buying new things, and complaining they were not making enough money.

   Meanwhile, I was broke and crying when I didn't get an interview. I was beyond my breaking point. I was at my shattered into pieces point. And I had advanced degrees and experience too!

   You are describing normal human emotions to something that happened to you. It is okay to feel wronged, angry, jealous, and out of control.

   It is normal to feel worthless too.

   However, feeling worthless is the emotion that you have to work on figuring it out because feeling bad or worthless can be dangerous for both you and your career.

   For me, I had to force myself to do one thing I could do to feel better about myself.

   Since I am a software engineer, I learned new skills.

   And for me, I slowly dug myself out of the pit and started feeling better.

   A few things I learned about the experience.

   It is not "everyone" around you, it just seems that way. Struggling people aren't celebrating on LinkedIn, they are surviving, like you. Don't allow social media glow-ups ruin your day.

   You are STILL good at stuff. You just have to find a way to prove it to yourself. Learn something new, knit, anything that you can take pride in.

   Talk to someone -- seriously. The worthless emotion is a gateway to things that can sabotage your job search and your career. Make one of your goals finding resources for yourself to deal with this emotion in a way that works for you. You already started posting here :)

   Most of all, you are not alone. You are experiencing an isolating experience that makes people feel alone and you are NOT worthless, but you are in a time in your life where your skills feel like they are not being valued.

   I am very sorry you are currently in that space.

2. AnonymousDecember 30,2022 at 10:05PM UTC

   Thank you so much for your generous contribution. I appreciate the concern about my mental health, and I have been seeking professional guidance outside of career guidance as well. Thank you so much for providing words of encouragement.

   I’ve been laid off before, I felt worthless before but I’ve never felt like this.

   i’ll be super honest, deleting social media apps for a minute, really helped my mental health. The source of everyone bragging about their end-of-the-year success was really draining on my ability to identify my own. I’m generally the number one cheerleader for everyone. Super supportive and excited about everybody having all of these positive experiences, but every time I saw it made me the knife dig deeper.

   I feel like I ran a great race but not being able to say goodbye to your coworkers when it’s not based on job performance dismantled me.

   When you have a remote position, they encourage you to engage with your fellow employees as if you were in an office. You get to know people you share details, but I don’t always thing to share my personal contact information which is unfortunate because not giving me the opportunity to say thank you or a goodbye, seems very cruel. Especially from a company that focuses on making sure you deliver empathy and that you have active listening skills.

   I understand why IT must to cut you out of company communications when they terminate, but man alive that didn’t help mental stability.

   I was even part of the secret Santa and I just been assigned the person that I was going to gift and I was really excited. Apparently, whoever got me had already placed the order because I received the slippers that I placed on my wish list. I’m grateful for the slippers. I just wish I could’ve given back.

   Again, thank you so much for your kind words and I wish you all the best in the days ahead.

3. Deb StricklandDecember 28,2022 at 6:23PM UTC

   Sorry to hear this, it's always a gut punch. Layoffs are always about bad decisions made by others further up the ladder. I know many super stars who got laid off because of bad decisions. I find it crazy that those who had zero influence on those business decisions are the ones who get laid off and rarely those who approved those decisions. Yes, the execs may later leave but only after collecting $$$ so it's no where near the same.

   For many of us with strong work ethic, it's very hard to not believe that being that super star will protect us from layoffs, and that working hard is the best protection. It's not. It took me many years to stop being that super dependable, always available, always doing other people's work type of person to realize I was being taken advantage of. All those years of 60-80 hour weeks never resulted in a promotion (many others who worked far, far less got those).

   Best advice I can give is to evaluate the projects you worked on, how the management team supported (or not) the teams, and develop a ME strategy next time. Don't be like me who lived to work, all jobs are temporary, and giving your all to a company will never be reciprocated. That doesn't mean to not do good work, it means to protect yourself, always be looking and interviewing, and carefully see how your company treats its people when it gets tough.

   I've been in tech nearly 40 years and it's well known for periodic layoffs. Most of the ones I've seen were targeted at those 45+ years old, or entire product lines were cut. Your feeling of worthlessness is very common and justified given what you've experienced. Those who were getting raises and promoted knew how to play the game. I've seen this over and over and over again.

   Make peace with yourself, and take time to document what you achieved with each project to build a list you can use for future resumes and talking points.

4. AnonymousDecember 28,2022 at 10:06PM UTC

   Your words are brilliant and resonate deeply with what I have brought to the table over and over again to only see others succeed from what I’ve been able to produce. I find myself shaking my head how many times I’ve cleaned up other’s work without searching for thank you’d only to make sure that the team was moving forward efficiently and providing the best client experience.

   I truly appreciate the expanded thoughts you provided. Focusing in on the details before they become a faded memory is a terrific idea..thank you for that reminder.

   Variable Decisional unit is something that everyone should now know about (VDU).

   Over 230 people didn’t see this coming and we were just told during an all hands meeting that the company was exceeding expectations and was going to be looking at a profit.

   What bothers me inside is since I am also a shareholder, I know the truth and the severance package is a hush order to keep from spilling the beans.

   They’re already ads “in the paper” looking to replace the sales team that they let go to appear so busy they have to keep hiring to keep up.

   Companies will continue to operate like this disposing people and providing severance packages so that you do not diminish their company name.

   And after speaking to an attorney today and paying $200 for one hour, it was made very clear to me that the package provided is certainly written to protect their image by providing a golden carrot on the way out.

   They don’t want you to tell people who have been there for almost 5 years that they will only get the same severance package that the person who just started earlier that year will receive. They don’t want you to know that they’re going to provide you with one month of a COBRA stipend because perhaps they are concerned about backlash from laying off almost half the company before the holidays and after”mandatory overtime” , so providing a months worth of healthcare coverage for therapy provides a bandage to that guilt.

5. AnonymousDecember 29,2022 at 2:11PM UTC

   Work never loves you back.

6. AnonymousDecember 30,2022 at 1:51PM UTC

   RE: "Layoffs are always about bad decisions made by others further up the ladder."

   Please explain this further.

   The economy and constant changes in the market are what causes most layoffs, so how do you attribute layoffs to employers having made "bad decisions."

   Employers aren't charities, so why would you expect them to keep on employees when revenue is heading south?

   Sadly most employees these days expect their employer to be their caretaker—their nanny. The fact is if employees don't look after their employer (READ: Do whatever they can to make their employer consistently profitable.), then employees shouldn't be surprised when their employers lay them off due to falling revenue.

7. AnonymousDecember 30,2022 at 9:56PM UTC

   We just had a company, all hands meeting where they were posting profits and stating that we were exceeding expectations. They made us work mandatory overtime for two months before they laid people off. What you said above would apply to a more ethical company and I agree that companies should not be babysitters. However, I found that I worked mostly by myself and achieved results that other people in the team weren’t able to meet. But again the layoff was not based on performance. It was based on a model that is more like a lottery so it doesn’t matter how hard you’ve worked How long you’ve worked or how well the company is doing when they utilize a model like this. There are lawsuits out there that people have brought to large companies for having too wide of a scope when utilizing VDU. It’s something that every professional should look into so that you are equally prepared to understand that employee at Will is not some thing to be taken lightly. This is not the first time I’ve been laid off friends. I have definitely lost jobs in the past due to company restructuring, but I have never seen it done in such a manner until now. I always think there’s a lot to learn from other peoples experiences and I truly appreciate your contribution above.

8. AnonymousJanuary 11,2023 at 11:23PM UTC

   I do not think you understand. They are not wanting to be a charity case or the company to be a caretaker, but when executives say we over hired and now need to cut down. It is not the fault of the employees impacted. Companies do layoffs even when the economy is doing very well. I know not to trust that a company always will do well, but I do expect the company to do right by the employees they hire.

   Sales may be down, but is it your software engineer's fault? Probably not. In the manufacturing company where I used to work, we had multiple layoffs and they could include anyone or any department that we felt was needed to make us more profitable. That can include those doing well, and even hard to find positions. That includes those in IT, HR, Engineering, etc. Those positions do not always help the bottom line. They are considered overhead and support positions, and they are most likely not driving profit. So that breaks your point of making the company profitable to be secure. Some people in those areas are needed, but at times as we have seen recently with tech and recruiting anyone can be expendable.

   The large global manufacturer that I worked for sometimes did layoffs of a department cutting over a third of employees. Not the department's fault and if it is a high performing department that means even superstars get cut. As someone that was in a department that was cut almost by half including our star VP and highly technically trained staff, we do not expect charity, but we should expect a company that acts with sound business choices and integrity. As someone in management where people depend on and trust me, I demand it.

9. JJDecember 28,2022 at 8:50PM UTC

   I have been laid off so many times it doesn’t even scare me anymore. It’s a hard road to travel and I wish you luck! What type of work are you looking for?

10. AnonymousDecember 28,2022 at 9:45PM UTC

    Ugh thank you. I’ve been a territory manager and am set up for remote work with loads of customer support experience. The challenge is finding an employer that will honor my mmj authorization and understand my value beyond that stigma.

11. AnonymousDecember 29,2022 at 2:21PM UTC

    Comparison is the thief of joy and doing so does not change your circumstances. I think changing your mindset is key here. I would do some mindset work and reflection. I have been laid off so I understand the feelings of rejection and loss that you need to navigate. It is not easy. I do believe things will change for you when you work on yourself and change your perspective. Sending the best wishes for success your way.

12. AnonymousDecember 30,2022 at 9:53PM UTC

    I definitely don’t spend a lot of time in comparison arenas but I will say that if you don’t compare your performance against other people, you will never know how well you’re doing in the team setting. I had been applauded for my efforts and commended for the work I was doing, and the people that I was cleaning up work for kept their jobs, and now the company will have to see what they really produce on their own. I don’t have to be the doormat anymore or the housekeeper, which is a benefit. I truly recognize that. I spend a lot of time thinking about growth and productive thoughts and have had a lot of time to sit in introspection and after having time with a lawyer, and being told that I have a legitimate case, I’m still navigating the severance package and options that come my way. Wishing you the success of the days ahead and thank you so much for your supportive words.

13. AnonymousDecember 30,2022 at 1:27AM UTC

    I'm also feeling stuck and resenting a lot of people. The anger you feel is normal and totally valid. You matter and you deserve happiness and professional fulfillment too! It will come and I hope 2023 brings you joy and doors start opening for you. Have you ever thought about moving to a new city? It's something I'm considering. Sometimes a person just needs a completely fresh start. Sell everything, pick a new spot and launch.

14. AnonymousDecember 30,2022 at 9:49PM UTC

    I genuinely appreciate your words because it helps to alleviate the anxiety that I am not able to navigate corporate America or I am just envious as someone has posted above. I appreciate your perspective, and it resonates deeply with me and it’s very motivational to read. Thank you very much and I’m All the success that 2023 can bring opening new doors for you and I just moved to the city so moving again isn’t an option for me and I’m going through a divorce which is equally trying because he won’t sign paperwork. I am up against a lot of hurdles, and the one thing that I’ve always been quick to do is figure out a way to navigate up over or around them. It’s people like you that keep me going. Thank you!

15. AnonymousDecember 30,2022 at 9:49PM UTC

    *and I’m wishing you all the success ?

16. AnonymousDecember 30,2022 at 1:44PM UTC

    (a) Employers pay their employees to achieve results. Therefore, "these other people talk sh!t about their jobs and get paid" is irrelevant. Also irrelevant is your education and "professional experience." What is relevant is what have you done for your employers that were UNDENIABLY pertinent to the company's success. (READ: Measurable productivity stats you achieved that directly affected your employer's bottom line.)

    (b) The bitterness and resentment you're feeling of envy and jealousy. You're envious and jealous of those who have learned how to navigate corporate America.

    (c) I recommend you read my "The Art of Finding Work" column: "As a Job Seeker Look for Your Tribe" [ https://bit.ly/30FfpPA ]

    (d) If you're serious about your career and want a peek behind the curtain regarding how employers operate, subscribe to my free "The Art of Finding Work" newsletter [ https://artoffindingwork.substack.com/ ] .

17. AnonymousDecember 30,2022 at 9:46PM UTC

    Wow. Don’t become a life coach.

18. AnonymousDecember 30,2022 at 10:16PM UTC

    I'm not. I'm a reality coach, which many people thank me for being.

    If you're looking for comforting lies, then I'm not your person.

    Seeing how my "The Art of Finding Work" is syndicated in newspapers and news media outlets across Canada, please tell me what qualifications you have regarding being a "life coach."

19. AnonymousJanuary 11,2023 at 11:31PM UTC

    As I wrote to someone else, not all positions drive profit. To say someone has not learned to play the game or get along and that is why they are laid off is incredibly naive. As someone in management who has witnessed others get laid off around me and have overseen some myself, I can say you do not know what you think you do.

    Sales may be down, but is it your software engineer's fault? Probably not. In the manufacturing company where I used to work, we had multiple layoffs and they could include anyone or any department that we felt was needed to make us more profitable. That can include those doing well, and even hard to find positions. That includes those in IT, HR, Engineering, etc. Those positions do not always help the bottom line. They are considered overhead and support positions, and they are most likely not driving profit. Even with great productivity, positions can be eliminated. So that breaks your point of making the company profitable or have a specific productivity level to be secure. Some people in support areas are needed, but at times as we have seen recently with tech and recruiting anyone can be expendable.

    The large global manufacturer that I worked for sometimes did layoffs of a department cutting over a third of employees. Not the department's fault and if it is a high performing department that means even superstars get cut. As someone that was in a department that was cut almost by half including our very well liked star VP and highly technically trained staff, even some great employees will be laid off during a large layoff.

20. Jacquelynn LucasDecember 30,2022 at 2:33PM UTC

    I understand your feelings. I like the one comment about changing your mindset. This really helped me focus on what I could control (i.e. training, networking within the company, finding new projects). In your case focusing on what your next best job to help develop your career would be a great area to focus your energy on. Once you stop focusing on others you will notice the improvements for yourself. Perhaps the layoffs was a blessing in disguise to move on to an employer that appreciates you. I know my first last off was, it helped propell those promotions I should have received. Good luck focusing on you!!

21. AnonymousDecember 31,2022 at 4:37PM UTC

    I've been laid off when a new CEO came on board and at first it felt horrible, like I was worthless. I was performing at a much higher level than those around me. Also getting paid more. Decision makers keep people around who they like. It has little to do with ability or performance. If they like you, and you perform well, it's a bonus for them. It's all a game and you have to learn how to play the field, understand the rules (written and unwritten) and navigate relationships with your "team" members. This will pass. Keep your chin up and focus on creating your next chapter. Wishing you the best.

22. AnonymousDecember 31,2022 at 7:20PM UTC

    RE: "It's all a game..."

    I don't think truer words have been written on this website!

    What gets me is how so many employees don't see the workplace and job market as one big game and take everything so seriously. Either you're a fit or you're not.

    Instead of focusing only on your "productivity," which, unless it's measurable and has a direct impact on your employer's bottom line, is worthless, focus on your relationships with management, your colleagues, etc.

    (Lack of a solid relationship is why those who WFH are much more vulnerable to layoffs than those who show up at the office and have facetime with their boss and the company's leadership team.)