Seeking wisdom on how to get out of an awful jam of my own making.

23 Comments

1. AnonymousJanuary 31,2022 at 11:10AM UTC

   Dear....

   First of all: a 60 hour work week is only for those very rare cases where one is managing force majeure incidents.

   My first thought reading your issues list... You hoarder tasks here. You need to cut your tasks into 3-4 major groups e.g. admin tasks, PA tasks, creative tasks etc. and then agree with yourself which tasks makes you feel blessed in your job or you are unique contributor - those you are to keep. The rest of the tasks must go to someone else. Shopping - come on... you are too qualified for that. Consider hiring a student worker to support you for some hours per week/day. And if no funding for hiring support for shopping/admin tasks... Maybe the business case needs to be adjusted ?

2. AnonymousJanuary 31,2022 at 11:59AM UTC

   You can divide and define. That means make a realistic schedule in 3 areas. Must have, nice to haves and administrative. Place the scheduling, researching. admin. And organizing in one "job", the shopping, errands and outside efforts *meeting with vendors", etc. In another.

   Divide the tasks where they make the most sense (knowing they will overlap and might need adjustments over time). Define the tasks as a single job while managing the two jobs into a scheduled effort on a weekly basis in calendar form on Sunday. Hire an efficient co-worker as your counterpart to review and work with you to address the week's schedule.

   You must work on your leadership to oversee the effort and create a communication flow. There will be the odd extra duty here and there you two will share but if you manage the effort wisely, you two will accomplish the bulk of the effort weekly with plenty of downtime in a 40 work week.

   Consider the skills required for each category of responsibilities. Time management, efficiency, organization, customer service and ability to shift gears in a fluid environment come to mind.

3. Alexis GladstoneJanuary 31,2022 at 2:14PM UTC

   Great advice from Anita and the other post. I would add, taking a look at all of the activities you are organizing for residents and determine which ones are really adding value. Do they all need to be done in the time frame you have scheduled? Are you getting the turnout you expect for the effort you are putting in? This might be one more piece of data to help you prioritize.

4. Violet Cassidy-Maroke (She/her)February 1,2022 at 1:22PM UTC

   Ah yes I've been there before.
   Create your own job then do a couple favours and suddenly they are also expectations /regular part of your job.

   I got thru this by bringing in coop students, summer students and college or university students for work experience programs.

   Work with your volunteer coordinator to get some help in. Mentor others and take things off your plate at the same time. Win win. They get valuable experience in the real world. You get to breathe easier.

   Also yes I agree divide things into types and prioritize.

   Tho you think going to boss is last resort, ask if they can help you reprioritize. Ed may see things differently than you. Something you may think is not high priority, the Ed may.

   If you approach from an organizational efficiency / betterment is nice way to talk about the work without it centering in on "you took more than you bargained for."

   I know it's hard to discuss this stuff. But it'll be harder to recover once you burn out.

   I know the drive is to over promise and over deliver. But it's not realistic in everything. Good luck.

5. Rachel EldridgeFebruary 1,2022 at 2:08PM UTC

   As a volunteer coordinator, I second the idea of getting volunteer and intern help. Students in gerontology programs, recreation therapy and more would be happy to help. You may need to shift your mindset from being the doer to being the manager. Be honest with yourself about which tasks you need to do and which tasks you like to do but really others could be doing.

6. Karen Annette DossFebruary 1,2022 at 2:09PM UTC

   This is similar to what I was going to suggest. Break the tasks into like groupings. Management tasks such as organizing, planning, etc. in one and logistical such as shopping, errands, event set up, etc. into the other. The management portion stays with you because this is your baby.

   If there's a college or technical school nearby, see if there is any way to partner with them for service learning or internship opportunities for their students to help with the logistical tasks. You may find that this solution meets your needs, but you may also find that there is plenty of work for an additional FT or PT employee.

   I think if you come up with a solid plan you can approach your ED for approval. You can frame it as a positive that the initiative has become so positive and added so much value to the organization that you'd like to grow it by bringing in assistance.

7. AnonymousFebruary 1,2022 at 1:26PM UTC

   Reminds me of me a bit but in an academic setting. If from the outside it appears that you are 'doing it all' no one is going to come in and help/fix it. I had to decide what I wasn't going to do and just let it go. I stopped working on weekends and decided I was going to do things I wanted to do that wasn't work. Some of the students found their own agency and started organizing things on their own. It was great seeing them grow and become invested. I focused my energy on just a few things and tried to do them as best as I could.

8. AnonymousFebruary 1,2022 at 1:33PM UTC

   If your core issue is that you really don't know what to do to make this better, then pretty much any coach can help you figure out what to do differently and hold you accountable.

   But presumably you have some ideas about what to do, and you're not doing what needs to be done. So if you want to dig deeper into root causes and motivations and how your choices fulfill emotions and needs that you will still have once the current task is accomplished (and how to not dig the same hole again), then I suggest a coach/therapist or a coach with a solid grounding in tackling issues at their core and not applying bandaids.

   If you're curious about the latter, check out the concept of immunity to change. https://hbr.org/2001/11/the-real-reason-people-wont-change

   The authors present a unique framework that you can try on your own or implement with a coach. Congrats for recognizing you need help and best of luck to you.

9. Gretchen SkalkaFebruary 1,2022 at 1:47PM UTC

   My brain automatically goes to quantifying how much of your time is spent on each task. If you bucket that out, then group aligned tasks together (shopping and errands; research and planning; etc.) you may find that you have 1-3 potential roles here. Could be your core role is full-time at 40 with some minor flex on OT here and there while there are 1 or 2 part-time roles to handle the support tasks necessary for the organization.

   This exercise also gives you the foundation for the job description and executive proposal for approvals for that/those support role/roles.

   The good news is that you've identified real needs for the organization that all bring value. Now it's a matter of getting the support you need to keep it all going.

   Please let us know how it goes!

10. AnonymousFebruary 1,2022 at 2:02PM UTC

    I would recruit the retirement community residents both for some of the work and for holding you accountable for a reasonable work-life balance. There has to be handful of people who are missing the fulfillment that comes with helping to make events and activities a success. There also has to be at least one respected - but opinionated - resident who is not afraid to tell you to delegate or go home at the end of the day.

11. AnonymousFebruary 1,2022 at 2:42PM UTC

    I’ve been there myself.

    I had to realize, it’s not brain surgery, no one is going to die if I don’t finish today. I put the pressure on myself.
    it’s all about prioritizing- what’s critical- get done first. Then, what’s moderately impacting- get done next. Lastly, what are minor tasks that can be rescheduled out to lighten my load.
    When I prioritized in this way, things got done and I clocked out in a timely fashion.
    There have been times where I was just decided to continue to work.
    But at the end of the day, I’m going to prioritize me. If I don’t, who will?

12. Focused721350February 1,2022 at 2:49PM UTC

    Good Morning,

    I live in a retirement community. Let me tell you! Any resident here has to be voted on to assist. Remember! It's OUR $$$. So! Be aware of this. It really sounds like you bit off way more then you can chew! You do need assistance and maybe you can ask in the next meeting to acquire one.

    Good luck and God bless, Ms. T ;)

13. Shelby CFebruary 1,2022 at 5:09PM UTC

    I have worked with a number of facilities and I am confused by your comment. Would you please clarify it? I would like to learn more. What type of facility/community are you in?

14. Leader135412February 1,2022 at 3:48PM UTC

    Keep it simple, whatever you dont finish today. Do tomorrow.

15. GirlBossanova934974February 1,2022 at 4:36PM UTC

    This one seems rather easy. You put together a list of tasks you do every week and assign a time estimate for each. You then add 2 more columns. A) Those tasks that require your expertise and those that don't. You can use an "X" to check off the boxes. You then grab all the tasks that don't require your expertise aka someone else could do that and the total time estimate. You then go to your boss and get help for those tasks. Help may mean interns, part time help from staffing companies, or other members of the team.

16. Shelby CFebruary 1,2022 at 4:55PM UTC

    Oh, I am guilty of this! I understand you only want to make the best for them in a terrible situation. It affects their mental health and you should be so proud of yourself for keeping them distracted, engaged, and busy. It is not an easy task.

    Every community is different, so you will have to work within what your structure allows. I am a third-generation only child and second-generation only grandchild, so I have cared for many elders and worked with more LTACs, ALFs, SNUs, VNAs, and retirement communities than I care to think of. I only have my mom left and she lives with us.

    Instead of getting a Mechanic for your "plane", have you thought about a flight crew? It sounds like a lot of these items can be delegated. You just need to be the Pilot and

    give flight lessons. I would even suggest an Intern or Assistant. A Co-Pilot, perhaps? They are less expensive and don't require benefits. Even if their pay rate is the same as yours (which it wouldn't be), the company would save money on OT. That is a no-brainer for Management. You could make them the Recreation & Volunteer Coordinator.

    I would call the local high schools and ask to speak with the following Advisors:

    • HOSA - they are interested in being HCPs and some already have their CNAs in high school (our HOSA even goes and gives massages to the residents in a local retirement center, teaches dance, and does yoga for balance)
    • DECA - they are service-oriented and the chapter is required to do two projects a year with 90% participation and our chapter has over 130 members, so that is a lot of teen muscle power (it can be like herding cats - just a warning that you need strong verbal and non-verbal leadership skills with teens)
    • National Honor Society - it isn't just about good grades, but service as well and they are required to have a certain number of service hours (they even come clean my husband's classroom annually down to scraping gum) - they BEG for hours
    • Key Club - they are also service-oriented

    If you are looking at large projects, the Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts are a great resource as well.

    I would check the local colleges or where you graduated from to see if they have a job board where you can post. Almost of them do.

    Of course with the pandemic, the safe choice would be to limit exposure by only allowing one person in which is another argument for a new hire. It may be temporary. You need to see what kind of long-term value this person can potentially add to the residents' quality of life.

    From a management and HR perspective, we never like to hear "I want" or "I deserve". Go into as a business decision and tell her why there is justification for the position, it NEEDS to be added, and pitch it that way. It has to be about the residents and not about you.

    Best of luck!!!

17. AnonymousFebruary 1,2022 at 5:28PM UTC

    I think it sounds like you are not being well supported in your environment, or at least feel like there is a lack of support. If your ED or supervisor is at least semi aware that you are regularly working well beyond your scheduled hours and is pretending not to notice, it seems like an unwritten expectation that you will continue doing this. If you have an original job description, I would compare that to what you are now being tasked with. Once you have a good idea of how the job expectations have shifted, you may see some things you can get rid of, or you may see that this is really two jobs, or at least 1.5 jobs. If you really require assistance, lay out all the information you've gathered, calculate your overtime costs, and ask for assistance. No one can help you if they don't know that you need it.

    In the meantime, I would bring to your ED's attention early in the week that you are working on, like I am dealing with A but have also been tasked with B,C, and D. I will need additional time to make sure everything gets done correctly. Make sure that they know what is going on as it is happening instead of hiding it. If you get some support, great. If not, it may be worth looking at if this is the right environment for you.

    In my opinion, we as workers, especially women, feel sometimes like we are the only problem in a workplace. Of course, we need to take responsibility and do the best we can and adjust as needed. But it's also important to take a step back, and make sure that the place you work gives back as much as you put in, and see where there are real structural issues in a company that may be preventing you from doing your best work, or having any work life balance. I wish you lots if luck!

18. Ellen Smith FaganFebruary 1,2022 at 9:40PM UTC

    I will tell you what they told me - a thing that worked.

    BREATHHHHHE. fully half of your woes will go away with a bit of calm and focus created by making a master list of

    SPECIFICS - not rants of needs in general - but a great meaty list of things your project is doing - all activities that take time and personal attention must be on this list - all the sixty hours you talk about MUST APPEAR on this list. Thennnn

    PRIORITIZE - tell all your people you ARE on it. Name ONE session for them all to make ONE helpful action statement and zero inflammatory remarks. Part of that list will immediately, and unavoidably, shine like blinking lights to show you things to be eliminated , at least for now...NOT things that hurt your team in any way.

    OKAY - NEXT make a fresh copy of that list and meet with your team and LET THEM TELL YOU how the tasks can be done more efficiently until that heavenly forty hours is won.

    easy right?

    Stay cool, play TEAM effectively and WIN

19. 60isthenew40February 1,2022 at 10:26PM UTC

    Not sure if anyone else has recommended this yet, but what about asking for volunteers from the retirement community residents? I'm sure there would be some who would love to be involved in what you do and it would be a two-fold benefit: you'll have less work to do and you'll be giving someone who may feel like they're no longer needed a sense of value.

20. Emily KeiperFebruary 2,2022 at 3:07AM UTC

    Hard work does not mean 60 hour work weeks.
    My opinion, but it seems you’re putting a lot of this on your own shoulders. If you can’t squeeze something into 40 hours, then map out a plan to hire an assistant to help with the additional 20 per week. If you have a solid layout of work you are doing, and work your unable to get to, it will prove to the ED the need for a resource (or salary position but even then you shouldn’t be burning yourself out like that). Also, take a look at what you do in a day and see if you can’t carve out some time in your calendar for “focus”. Giving yourself a set hour or more without interruption, e-mail checking etc. that pulls you away will help you get the work done and decrease the hours needed to do it.

    Otherwise, you can always see if there are any contract folks that can help with certain tasks you need but it’s going to cost you and you’d still need clearance from your company.

21. Shana Warkentine MeyerFebruary 2,2022 at 12:58PM UTC

    Are there any local colleges? This seems like a great opportunity for a go-getter to assist you.

22. Emily ForresterFebruary 2,2022 at 2:10PM UTC

    Are all of the things that you're doing adding value? Are there some things that you can let go of? Just because you've hosted certain programs or events in the past doesn't mean that you need to continue hosting the same things going forward.

23. Liz MilneFebruary 2,2022 at 7:19PM UTC

    Can you delegate twenty or so hours to another employee (or five hours each to four etc)? Find an intern? Rework things to streamline/ shorten processes?