Can an absent director know you are performing well at your job?

28 Comments

1. AnonymousNovember 29,2024 at 12:42AM UTC

   I’ll say this, absent managers can also be absent even when they are there. Your manager may be having issues above whereas she’s projecting this on you. Not fair to you but really hard to say why they behave that way towards you. I’ve been in the same boat. Praises privately does praises in meetings but truly it’s disingenuous. I like my job and know our director is burned out, dismissive as well. I actually ignore it and gain satisfaction from others. All I care about is getting paid, getting the time off requested and getting approvals for job needs. I also gain satisfaction from my colleagues and our external partners. Though I think it’s smart to find new employment when you can. We have lost many. Most leave because of poor management not their jobs. Hope you find a better place that can be supportive and shows you the appreciation you deserve!

2. AnonymousNovember 29,2024 at 3:35PM UTC

   I know you don't like the email strategy, but it would be the best course of action for this behavior. If you call and leave a message, follow up with an email. That way, you have a document trail you can use if you are met with a poor review or disciplinary action. Follow up the phone or in-person conversations with emails asking if they agree. If they don't respond, that's on them. You have the proof you ran things past them before doing [task/project].

3. GirlBossanova934974November 30,2024 at 1:17PM UTC

   Well my first question is probably obvious. So if your Director is absent 95% of the time, where is she? Is she one of these meeting monger types who just runs from 1 meeting to the next? There seems to be a proliferation of that these days as organizations unfortunately reward this behavior. If that is the case, you are very unlikely to ever get her attention as she has made it quite clear she is only interested in using her role to push herself up the corporate ladder. I would be gone sooner than later. AND I would NOT take personally either. One has to look at this sort of thing from an incentive standpoint. IF YOUR Company rewards meeting mongers, that is what you will get and everything else is secondary or tertiary in importance. Be sure you don't sign up for this again.

4. Sue Gordon- retired Career CoachNovember 30,2024 at 2:19PM UTC

   If you are not valued and you have tried communicating, it is time to leave. So get that job search in full gear.

   In the mean time, keep your absentee boss in the loop by sending her regular email reports on your accomplishments (like a weekly status report) and document any interactions with her. As another said, if you tried to reach her by phone and left a message, follow with an email.

   Sounds like she’s genuinely disengaged.

5. AnonymousNovember 30,2024 at 2:43PM UTC

   You got to move on from that toxic place “95% absence director is a ghost town” There is NO growth, stop tie yourself or volunteer someone to illicit business. “ a place doesn’t value you is a proof of concept that you maybe scammed, bullied, cheated…” send corporate lawyers an necessary email in writing of “the situation” and leave ghost town , in person communication at work is necessary.

6. Kris WolframNovember 30,2024 at 3:23PM UTC

   If you like what you do and the company, start with setting up a meeting with the manager. Go through your items with examples. If she doesn’t take the time and doesn’t

   change, start applying for another job

7. AnonymousNovember 30,2024 at 5:19PM UTC

   Set up a 1-1 with her. It's overdue for you to learn to manage your manager. Bring to it a spreadsheet of the projects you have completed and the ones that belonged to others that you participated in. This is a great exercise for you as well to continue to track being remote since your work is often invisible and not traced to you without your tooting your own horn. Let her know that you are motivated by getting some recognition for what you have done and that you want her to know that often you do work that others cannot complete. Let her know that your style is heads down and what she may feel is a lack of communication is merely a misalignment with what she may be expecting. Ask her what she expects and how she wants you to communicate and also how often and what forum (phone, email, slack, etc.) Additionally, remind her that you appreciate knowing that your ideas are heard. Let her know that yes you understand that the ideas may not be adopted always but that you do have opinions which is communication and that you are demotivated if and when you think that your voice is not being heard at all. You want her to know that could be what causes you to shut down or not communicate. That is fixable with more often 1-1's where you share ideas and see how improvements and new things can be put into practice. Even if you ultimately decide you no longer work together in a cohesive way and that you must move on this practice of learning how to manage someone who definitely works differently than you will help you! Track your work, use that when interviewing elsewhere and be sure that the grass will be greener and that you find out how potential new managers work by asking the tough questions during the interview process. Good luck.

8. Tami L CannizzaroDecember 2,2024 at 4:08PM UTC

   I agree. Even "in person" managers can be "absent" in terms of knowing what we are doing. It's up to us to keep them informed - and your suggestion of 1:1 meetings is good. Even if she doesn't show up, send a weekly recap of work - be sure to include quantitative success. If nothing else, this will help you at review time, or when you update your resume as you will have documented all of your experience including the data points.

9. AnonymousNovember 30,2024 at 6:00PM UTC

   There aren't an abundance of jobs out there anymore so don't jump yet.

   Why don't you ask her, 'What gives you the impression that I'm not interested in the job?'

   Then when she gives you the reason why, you can carefully reply to her honestly. See how that goes and if it starts to backfire, dial it back a bit. You may find though that she is unaware of your contributions. Look at her as an ally and not a soul sucking evil doer. Maybe she has stressors of her own that takes her away from being a good manager. You never know.

10. maria roseNovember 30,2024 at 8:09PM UTC

    Sure sounds like you are dealing with a manager who likes to communicate digitally versus in person conversations which is what you are expecting. In today’s technology world, your in person work is sometimes invisible ( although necessary)!, so perhaps you need to start communicating using digital communication, perhaps using AI to expand your responses to sound more to the level this supervisor is asking for because it sure sounds like they are using one to evaluate your communication —I am assuming that all communication is ongoing and communicating through email or non in person group conferences ( like A Zoom meeting) because this individual doesn’t have conversations just comments to any asked questions… Think of it as dealing with a human version of a chatbot who has a limited understanding of context conversation and how to communicate feedback beyond what they are used to using to communicate with another person. You are used to verbal communication with someone who sees your day to day performance and interactions but this supervisor is only seeing your efforts through a different lens and doesn’t see what efforts were done to achieve desired effect.

11. AnonymousDecember 1,2024 at 3:56AM UTC

    I was in a similar situation and my manager was remote in another state. She rarely responded and they only way we could get her to respond was to cc the director. Only when the diector was involve did she respond.

    Overall she didn’t have a clue as to what I was working on or what I was dealing with. so my answer to you is no she doesn’t and loook for a new one. I wasn’t burnt out I was fried. the stressed my physical and mential health.

    It took me 6 months for find a new job but until then I considered working part time at a retail store for my sanity. Yes, I think retail during the holidays would have been better.

12. AnonymousDecember 2,2024 at 1:06PM UTC

    Get out.

13. Ericka MeadeDecember 2,2024 at 1:13PM UTC

    CAN an absent manager know you are performing well? Yes, if they choose to. A good manager knows who is doing well and who is under performing regardless of in office or remote. My advice to you is to document everything in email and put read receipts on them. If you need a response then cc someone that will result in a response. If you manager calls you email them back with a "just to conform phone call" email. Anytime you do anything above and beyond, email your manager and tell her "FYI I completed Sarah reports for her while she was on vacation they are waiting for her return on Monday" if anyone tries to put you on a PIP then you slam that book of documentation that shows not only are you doing your job, your doing other people's jobs and communicating it to management. Document document document!!!!

14. AnonymousDecember 2,2024 at 2:06PM UTC

    Start looking for a new job. I got criticized for asking a co-worker one question while my manager was out on maternity leave. I was let go right after she returned and according to my co-workers the first thing she took off my desk was my notebook of random details and contacts I used in my job. She is threatened by you and probably passes your ideas off as their own. Good luck.

15. AnonymousDecember 2,2024 at 2:49PM UTC

    I'm in the same boat. My one up, an officer, at least acknowledges that they're never around and praises me for running the department and my team is AMAZING. You should definitely leave. Your director sounds like backstabber and if you stay, it won't end well for you

16. AnonymousDecember 2,2024 at 3:12PM UTC

    I'm in a similar boat and have found that many on the larger team take advantage by avoiding work and checking out themselves. it's created a culture of negativity and complacency - and top performers (like me) are frustrated and looking hard for other jobs. You sound like you care about doing a great job in a place where hard work toward a common goal is appreciated. I hope you find a great new job in 2025. :-)

17. Cortney SpencerDecember 2,2024 at 3:18PM UTC

    Sounds like the best thing is to move on. You can’t change people and she’s showing you she’s not available or reasonable. . Just because someone is a boss doesn’t mean they are necessarily the right person for the role. Take your wonderful work ethic elsewhere.

18. Maureen CorbettDecember 2,2024 at 3:44PM UTC

    Maybe get transferred if you like the company overall

19. Melinda MaloneDecember 2,2024 at 4:10PM UTC

    When you are a good employee sometimes it goes unnoticed. A little like the disruptive kid at home needs more attention. Some managers don’t think employees want the public praise. You could just mention you would like more feedback or if an idea is not accepted ask for more information on what she is looking for

20. AnonymousDecember 2,2024 at 5:17PM UTC

    I agree with comments about looking for a new position. Based on what you shared, it doesn't appear that your director has established team meetings or one-on-one meetings with you. As you look for new opportunities, I would encourage you to ask a new hiring manager how she/he communicates with the team. I always ask that question so that you don't end up in a similar situation.

21. AnonymousDecember 3,2024 at 2:22AM UTC

    Unfortuantely, I had a situation last year in that I was hired to work full time. Yet, the HR director seemed to create a toxic work environmentment for me.

    I winded up having to leave the company. Ironically, the HR director quit the same company shortly after I left.

22. AnonymousDecember 3,2024 at 3:07PM UTC

    This is long becaue I feel I could have written your post many years ago. There is a silver, no gold lining here!

    I worked for a director for many years who shared some of these same traits.

    It was so frustrating and infuriating at times that it took a toll on me outside of work since I was in a bad mindset everytime I left there, and I didnt look forward to starting the week. Like you she never praised one on one, and was always contrary in meetings. A perfect example was an annual review where I was sharing results of a work style assessment of my strengths and how I feel I use them positively in my work, she twisted each one to how they could be negative, what! But that is how she rolled, regularly pointing out mistakes, what has to change and not on the amazing work myself and my teammates were doing.

    I turned it around, and started with what I could control. I came to the realization these issues that affect me are all her own doing and have nothing to do with me. I stopped taking it personally. I started observing, and listening more and speaking less with her. I gave reports to her via email so things were in writing and documented about what was getting done, even though every time she was going to respond with wasn't done, or what she would have done differently. I only focused on the positive with her, and made it an internal game to instead react internally with a laugh because of course that is how she is going to react, when she reacted positively that's when I was truly surprised.

    I invested in those around me and made stronger relationships, they were all in the same boat after all. I found ways around the company to put myself out there, joining commitees, social activites, started volunteering groups to help non profits. And there I excelled, I recieved praise and the feedback I was hoping I would get from my boss. Others noticed and my reputation at the company started to build and grow.

    Then she changed! I quite spending my mental energy on her and it created a different dynamic.

    She finally moved on, and now I am the Director, and I work very hard to never be that person who made my team feel not enough. And we are rocking it.

    When people told me I had to change me, internally I couldn't get my head around it because she was the poor leader, I was trying to do my very best and I knew I was doing great work and the backbone of our team. But I changed how I operated with her anyway and it worked! It took time to get used to not internalizing her comments and dissimisivness, but eventually that for me new me became the norm and it didn't just help there it helped everywhere. I feel like my best self now and can't wait for each day to start!

23. NGfairy2024#December 3,2024 at 3:10PM UTC

    This is a very frustrating situation and even if its hard to get a new job, you go thru daily hell to stay put... Of course the best recourse is to start finding another job asap... but if you dont have an earning fallback, just put up with her for your own financial sake.. Detach a little & try not to be affected emotionally....not sure if going to the Directos boss is an option

24. Tracy BooneDecember 3,2024 at 4:55PM UTC

    If you aren’t already doing so, creating and sending her a weekly status report will inform your manager as to what you are doing and provide an audit trail in case you need to escalate to her manager or other leadership. You could copy her manager as well. You should probably let her know that you want to improve communication and document things as the rationale for the status reporting.

25. Ushan GovenderDecember 3,2024 at 6:07PM UTC

    I agree with this. I would also suggest starting a weekly project folder and tracking all the progress you have made. "Show your work," so to speak; this has saved me numerous times; in my last position, I ended up being the pinch hitter for numerous co-workers and shuffled from branch to branch, even though I was the CXO - they got the bonuses based off of my work. I was infuriated when I mentioned this to the CEO of my company - he gave me a $1000 bonus and told me not to complain because I was part of a team! The team regularly made that amount in a week in bonuses; that was my bonus for just that month; needless to say - I took my efforts elsewhere, but before I did, I showed him the value of my work. He offered me a new position without more $$ just more responsibility, BUT I could pick my hours.

26. Christi LopezDecember 5,2024 at 12:32PM UTC

    Cannot recommend this enough. Whether she reads the weekly status report or not, it's an excellent tool for YOU and it also covers your ass. If she indicates you aren't communicating, you can provides dates/times that you've sent communications to her. You're also able to estimate the amount of hours spent in various tasks. If your reports show you're doing tasks that are outside of your position description, then you have data to backup a request for a reclassification/position change.

27. AnonymousDecember 4,2024 at 2:10PM UTC

    It might be time to find pastures new...,or wait until they made you redundant...., get the money, take some time off, and start a fresh and new career

28. AnonymousDecember 5,2024 at 9:34PM UTC

    I completely agree with maintaining a paper trail and producing weekly reports. Since I first started using a computer and learned Microsoft and Outlook, I’ve always kept a “CYA” (Cover Your Ass-ets) folder. This practice has saved me numerous times when I needed to reference something in question quickly or to save my butt. It's been a life-saver