DISCUSSIONS

I really need a personal day.

Anonymous Image

Anonymous

Welcome to Fairygodboss!

We’re the largest online career community helping women achieve their career goals. Gain access to articles, jobs, events, and a supportive network of women and allies. Membership is free, always.

I really need a personal day. I have no more pto left. And all week I have been hyperventilating at my desk!

I work from home and just really need to get away from the kids and husband I just need a few hours at a park and breathe. All of my energy is spent on calming customers down so I can help them with there issue and it’s really beating me up.

I’m also preggers it may have something to do with that but I don’t think I’ll make it through my shift today. My two 15 min breaks and one 30 min lunch is used to change pampers and grab a quick bite.

Have you ever felt if you didn’t just get away for a minute you would have a melt down? I’m considering taking the rest of the day off. Mommy just needs a break!

Why women love us:

  • Daily articles on career topics
  • Jobs at companies dedicated to hiring more women
  • Advice and support from an authentic community
  • Events that help you level up in your career
  • Free membership, always

Like

53 comments

Share

Share your insight

Join an authentic community that helps women support each other at work. Share your professional experience or ask for advice — you can even post anonymously.

53 Comments

Join the conversation
  1. Shelly Edwards

    I think your stress is coming one, from the pregnancy, and two from working from home while also trying to be a full time parent. If you are working from home that should be your focus, or parenting should be your focus. It's very had to split duties. If your husband is home, ask him to take care of the kids for a while so you can focus just on work, or take your 15 minute break to take a quick walk outside for fresh air. You are trying to do too much at the same time, which would give anyone anxiety.

  2. Anonymous

    Hey there so he works all day I decided to wfh and cut down on daycare since we are trying to save to move to a bigger home.

    And yes it’s like I do way more working from home I’m here all day with the baby and find myself doing house chores you are so right I’m trying to do everything. It’s wearing me out.

    I love the family I just kinda need a break!

  3. Anonymous

    I hope you’re not the only one making sacrifices to save money and move into a bigger house. Maybe your husband could WFH and manage child care while you go back to the office.

  4. Anonymous

    hi there! I absolutely do not want to go into a office.

    I enjoy wfh it’s just a lot right now and need more time to relax will I’m nearing the end of pregnancy.

    and honestly my husband grew up in this house it’s funny because sometimes I feel he is much more attached than I am.

    He keeps trying to remodel the home and I’m like no let’s put money into another home. He is definitely 50/50 he does not want to be here for another 10 years but I think it wouldn’t hurt him if we stayed another 5 but as for me I want to go now lol. like yesterday it’s 30 year old home. It is paid off I’d like to add but it is very small for our growing family.

  5. Anonymous

    Yes, I have felt that way before. I can't imagine your current experience and I feel for you! I hope that you can find some balance soon.

  6. Anonymous

    Thank you! Just walked away from my desk for a few minutes balance is the word for sure.

  7. Jackie Ruka

    Just cut your day off and get a foot massage . Unwind away from everyone. I have had days like that. Other times I would go in my bedroom, put on calming meditation music and just rest.

  8. Anonymous

    I clocked out at 11am thank you some much me and the baby went in the room she had her nap and 3 hours I woke up. I almost never have a nap when I put my daughter down and I literally passed out I think my body is exhausted right before I clocked out and was thinking about staying I got a massive headache.

    I said yep I’m definitely cutting the day short I couldn’t do it. As soon as I clocked out the hyperventilating went away. So weird!

  9. Anonymous

    Yes, take the time you need.

    When my kids were young I used to get up 1 5 hours earlier (yep after getting up in the middle of the night with them).

    My 4am to 5:30am was my me time. I would do my yoga with my headphones on. Meditate and take a shower. Iayed out my clothes the night before. I would then answer urgent emails, draft my yo-do list and do my chores around the house. I started breakfast then the house would slowly wake up.

    I became uber organized and went to bed with the kids most nights at 8pm

    Not glamorous but it saved my sanity.

  10. Anonymous

    Omg between my nausea and throwing up at the slightest smell of anything I’m I don’t how I could keep up with that schedule.

    I’m sure I will get there one day!

  11. Anonymous

    Thank you all of my family is in another state as I moved to my husband’s state.

    he usually gets home later I told him he needs to take sometime and give me a break he will be taking off tomorrow and I will be getting away to do whatever I like. I even thought about getting a hotel room by myself I feel selfish but I just want quiet and don’t don’t want to hear mommy mommy just for a few hours. Thank you for your advice about the busy bag I’m still learning that is a great advice!

  12. JJ

    Can you ask your doctor for a note for extra breaks or similar?

  13. Anonymous

    Yes they told me I was dehydrated my last doc visit and asked how many times I leave the desk I said only 3 they said that’s not good and I shouldn’t be sitting all day I forgot the note they actually did write me one. That just made me remember I need to call back and get the note to send to my job thank you!

  14. Shelby C

    I don't want to be an alarmist, but I am being real here. If anyone - especially a pregnant woman - sits for an extended period of time it places us at an increased risk of DVTs and PEs. Blood clots can be deadly. Plus, it also leads to increased swelling in our legs and back pain which pregnancy already have a tendency to cause.

    Please get up every hour and go to the bathroom. Put your feet up while you sit. I used to use a bucket from Home Depot with an old pillow on it. ;)

  15. Anonymous

    Yep! That’s what they told me my last doc appt. Lots to consider here it looking like a Longer break from work is what I need.

  16. Anonymous

    omg me too, just found out I'm prego, missed a few days, wasn't feeling great, came back, and my boss is like yea you have to work through Jan to accrued maternity hours.. my gossh, im applying for fmla, short term asap! you are not alone know that!!

  17. Anonymous

    It’s so hard when those mornings you get up and you body isn’t feeling good I feel you completely!

  18. Anonymous

    I can relate. I used all my PTO last week. Took my dog to the park during the day. Today I’m watching the movie “Office Space”.

  19. Anonymous

    It’s nice to get out the park really does it for me I really need the fresh air because I’m in the house working all day.

  20. Anonymous

    Yes my husbands mom does watch her about once a month on the weeks. You gave some really good advice I’ll definitely implement that!

  21. GirlBossanova934974

    Do you have 'sick days' or sick leave in addition to your 'PTO'? If so, I would use a sick day or two for the needed time off.

  22. Anonymous

    Not a mom and am not pregnant, but I have some serious mental health diagnoses that make some days exceedingly more difficult than they should be. Oh, amd I'm a social worker, so I get to handle cranky ALL day long some days while also trying to set people up for success at home. I love it, but there are definitely some weeks when almost every day I wind up walking thru my front door into a meltdown.

    I try to schedule massages and the chiropractor frequently and I have weekly therapy, and it's to the point where if I have a self care appointment like that I try to use it for something to look forward to. When I'm working, I especially try to make the weekends my own, whether I stress cook lunches for the week or spend at least half a day in a blanket fort on the couch binging YouTube with potato chips and chocolate stuff. By Wednesdays I am usually in bed by 7 PM (work starts at 8 AM and there's usually over an hour drive to get there). If I know work is near a park I make a point of going there either before work or after work and just enjoy a coffee/tea/soda/water there to deflate from the hectic. The Social Worker and the Mentor podcast on YouTube has some *really* good episodes about this.

  23. Anonymous

    It isn’t just Mommy who needs a break and I don’t understand why being a parent has any relevance to your main question. Everyone hits a breaking point. You have hit yours. Your health and well-being are in your own hands. You work from home. There isn’t anything stopping you from giving yourself the time you want and need. Hire someone to help with the kids and home, even once a week or every other week. Can you take a Saturday or Sunday “off?” Maybe with your husband or you trade off with him? Self care isn’t selfish and needs to be worked into your life. Don’t ignore your own need for downtime. You do not want to end up completely burnt out.

  24. Melissa Verdoni

    If she is taking care of her kids WHILE she works ,,, sorry but that has a huge impact, esp a kid in diapers … I had older kids during the Covid lockdown , they watched TV . I had no diapers to change , it was fine for two weeks BUT I would never have been able long term. With a SMALL toddler ….

  25. Anonymous

    I feel the same way. You have a job and taking care of your kids at the same time isn’t fair to the child or the job.

    Do you think this is generational?

  26. Anonymous

    I often feel guilty as I have a customer yelling at me on the phone and my daughter wanting a huge from me and I have to tell her hold on mommy is almost done and I literally want to throw the computer off the back porch. And just give my daughter a long hung. I’m so consumed I am burned out everyone knows and I am considering resigning.

  27. Melissa Verdoni

    You need to have a serious talk with the father of your kids , sorry but HE needs to step in period. Doesn’t sound like he helps a lot . This isn’t just a WORK issue , but a personnal issue as well ,,, he needs to give you a damn break.

  28. Anonymous

    This! Time to call your husband’s ass to the carpet!

  29. Anonymous

    Simply put! Lol yes, we had a very very long talk.

  30. Anonymous

    I truly hope it was a productive one!

  31. Arlene Frances Gottardo (Bryak)

    Can you cut back on your hours for a year or so, 6 months? You need a break- the above comments about getting hired help are good. You may just have too much on your plate… My best friend moved to Kentucky- I still miss her after 3 years- Talk to your friends or other moms… it helps.

  32. Anonymous

    I’m shocked at the amount of comments on this post that instruct the mother to shoulder the full responsibilities of child rearing and juggling work.
    The mother can hire help, the mother can negotiate and bargain with the father, etc. I think I saw just one or two comments about engaging the father to participate! Shame on the dad for letting his wife sink like this!

  33. Anonymous

    Time to call in sick and go somewhere you can be alone. Can you get some help? I know it is super hard to wrangle kids and try to work at the same time, how are you managing that? I understand needing to be away from everyone and thing and feel for you. I regenerate by being alone

  34. Anonymous

    Hi! How are you doing,hope you are holding up okay.

  35. Anonymous

    Time to kick your husband square in the ass!

    This is unacceptable behavior. He’s not treating you, your little one or your fetus with any respect. A day off or a trip to the nail salon won’t solve the core issue of this marital imbalance. Please address this aggressively with the assistance of a marriage counselor before your second baby is born. Burying your head in the sand will only compound this problem. I’m so very sorry you’re going through this.

  36. Anonymous

    Thank you! For your advice truly needed! As it hurts to sit all day and I’m currently at my penguin stage when I walk lol I am considering resigning. And oh yes we are certainly having a talk.

  37. Pickles

    I'm not a mother, but I've had the exact same feelings when I was burnt out. I just quit my job a month ago because they weren't giving me a day off to just cool down. I've worked in my industry for 12 years and this is the first time I've had a meltdown...and yes, because I didn't take a day off I ultimately had a true breakdown. It was terrifying and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. The fact that you're pregnant and have kiddos to care for on top of feeling burnt out and overwhelmed must be even more unbearable. You deserve time off, and any company worth working for will grant it to you if you explain that you just need a personal or mental health day. If they don't, I suggest looking for other solutions like a new job (though not if that will only stress out more before the birth), hiring help, or asking for assistance from your husband. If you feel you can tough it out until the baby comes, I recommend seeing a therapist or someone who does therapy that has helped me with overwhelm such as EMDR, tapping therapy, etc...

  38. Anonymous

    I am considering leaving as my maternity leave is unpaid any way and I have been written up for prenatal appts. I’m beyond stressed. But feel more at ease away from the customers and my desk.

  39. Elora Hill

    I've already seen a lot of great advice about getting better involvement from the father, hiring help if that is possible, and taking time for yourself. I just wanted to add that you deserve better than a company which writes you up for taking necessary doctor appointments. I understand not all companies offer PTO for doctor appointments, but writing you up for taking those appointments is unreasonable. Sending good thoughts and hope your way.

  40. Anonymous

    Written up for your prenatal appointments? No wonder you're a giant ball of stress! If you can afford it, I'd say you'd be much better served to put your energy towards a job search that towards doing anything more for a company that seemingly values you so little.

  41. Anonymous

    I’m definitely taking that advice! I have took the week off. I did talk to my manager about mental day it went unrecognized. I am planing my exit.

  42. Valerie Rieger

    How long have you worked there, how many hours do you work, and how large is your company? I ask because you may qualify for FMLA. Are others reprimanded for medical appointments? Your employer may be in violation of the Pregnancy Discrimination Act as well.

  43. Anonymous

    What is EMDR?

  44. Necie Edwards

    https://www.emdr.com/what-is-emdr/

  45. Shelby C

    You are NOT getting a break!!! Where is your childcare? You are growing a tiny human. That alone is exhausting. You need some me time. You have every right to feel this way. Please watch your blood pressure.

    I am sending gentle hugs.

  46. Anonymous

    Omg! Yes, the blood pressure. I’m trying to not stress as I know the side effects.

    You all have helped me so much.!

  47. Anonymous

    Hyperventilating at your desk? Seems odd you think this is somehow normal.

  48. Maria Paula Calvo

    I perfectly understand your feeling, have been there! I may recommend that you think wether you´ll take a day off because of your already recognized need or you will have to consider much longer time away due to burn-out. You are in charge of yourself, your wellness is part of that.

  49. Amy Knoell

    I totally understand. I have worked from home for 15 years and it has it's challenges. The only thing that worked for me was putting more time in my calendar for breaks BESIDES what you take now to deal with the kids. I put two additional 20 min breaks in my calendar. One to go outside, walk, meditate (Which helps a lot) and one to take a cat nap when possible. You would be amazed at how much a 15 min guided power nap can help with Anxiety and tiredness. I use https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d4pIHSfm3uA

    Good luck!

    Amy

  50. Anonymous

    I so need this routine a little cat nap for sure!

  51. Anonymous

    Yes.
    My situation though is although I KNOW that I have to take a 15 minute lunch(was reprimanded once for not doing so), I always say, "just one more task". Before I know it, day is almost over and no lunch taken, thus, resulting in feeling like crap. I work away from home.

  52. Stephanie F, MSHRM

    Sending positivity your way. I would request the time you need for a mental health day. It may be that you have to take it unpaid if you do not have any PTO left, but this is for your health.

  53. Anonymous

    FMLA should allow you to take unpaid time off w/o suffering negative ramifications since you are preggers. Do NOT give them a reason though - word to the wise.

Browse recent posts

Netwroking Event: Treating Interviews as Sales Conversations and Communicating Your Value 11/13 11AM ET
Networking Event: Treating Interviews as Sales Conversations and Communicating Your Value 11/13 11AM ET
When you role ends your experience goes with you....
Ready to land your next sales or marketing role? 🚀💜
Hiii everyone!
I'm. Current looking for remote jobs
See more
Fairygodboss VIP
Achieve your career goals.
Be part of the largest online career community for women to find jobs, advice, and support — for free.
Fairygodboss members