Dealing with favoritism in the workplace…

36 Comments

1. AnonymousMarch 16,2026 at 1:15PM UTC

   Following because I am in the same position as you and thinking of leaving.

2. AnonymousMarch 16,2026 at 2:14PM UTC

   What I’ve seen is that people are people and sometimes they get along with and favor those who they mesh with well.

   I’ve been both favored and disfavored at my work depending on who was in management.

   Your options are either stick around and wait for a change to move you into a more favorable position. Or leave and try to find that fit somewhere else.

3. Tami CannizzaroMarch 16,2026 at 2:53PM UTC

   In my experience, there has always been some form of favoritism in the workplace, no matter how subtle it might be. Like others, sometimes it swings in my favor, sometimes not. Even the interview process shows favoritism: the hiring manager chooses the person she wants to work with the most, even if that person is a bit less qualified than other candidates. It could be she clicked better with someone's personality vs the others. Then nepotism - boss' daughter/son/relative gets in the door without so much as an interview. Favoritism at work. All that to say, determine how much it affects you and your work or ability to advance. Then decide what you want to do.

4. AnonymousMarch 16,2026 at 3:32PM UTC

   Basically, you have two choices: ignore it or confront it. Benefit of ignoring: no one gets angry with you, but the downside: nothing changes. Benefit of confronting it: it's out in the open, they can't ignore it, and they may make changes for the better. On the other hand, they could be vindictive and make your life miserable. Use your best judgment based on what you know about these people. If you choose to confront it, do so respectfully but firmly.

5. AnonymousMarch 16,2026 at 4:44PM UTC

   If you decide to confront the issue either with your manager or HR, try and have an offer of a new job in hand in case you are branded a trouble maker or mal- content. You may experience an escalation of the behavior and eventually shown the door.

6. AnonymousMarch 17,2026 at 12:49PM UTC

   I’d first make sure that favoritism is actually that. Sometimes people who are “favored” are legitimately better performers, and sometimes in ways that are not obvious to their colleagues. Other times, management gets along well with someone for subjective reasons which does not feel fair, but it can impact how well communication flows and how well the work gets done.

   Sometimes someone who perceives themselves to be “disfavored” either hasn’t received or hasn’t acted upon feedback about why they aren’t currently perceived as having more potential.

   I’d probably focus less on how someone else is being treated and more on advocating for and positioning oneself for the opportunities you want. And if there seems to be little receptivity to that and no actionable feedback on how you can get to where you want, then I’d start looking elsewhere.

7. AnonymousMarch 17,2026 at 1:10PM UTC

   I will do my best to address this from my point of view. I worked for an engineering consulting firm in a support role for several years and there was favoritism that stemmed from leadership. The worst behaved people were rewarded while the rest of us did not get chargeable on the job work. While some complained outright about the favoritism, they were silenced and ended up leaving. I put up and shut up for years, as I could not afford to be out of work, but I warned people I cared about to be careful and watch their backs. I finally had enough when I was demoted, essentially quiet- fired and quit. I already had plans in place to leave and it just made my decision easier. This was before the job market became full blown trash, well it was already trash, but that’s another topic. Try to focus on doing your job, network with people, and hang out with those not in the favorites club. And go home at the end of your shift. Have a life outside of work. Start side a side hustle, as no job is secure. Have more than one stream of income. Favoritism sucks, but unfortunately it’s acceptable in the workplace, especially now. Also do not go to HR, as they will always side with management. They are not your friend. Best of luck.

8. Dr. Patty GrossMarch 17,2026 at 1:44PM UTC

   My experience has been that Karma eventually sets in. If this comes all the way from the top, it may never happen. There was one situation in which my co-worker, who was tight with the boss socially as well as on the job, disparaged me while I was working with clients, reporting every conversation I had that wasn't perfectly in line with the corporate party script. By the time my boss confronted me about the "tattle tale," the situation with the client had resolved positively. This same individual was caught red-handed stealing from a client and fired for it. What goes around often comes around. "The favored ones" are the ones without enough experience or skills for the jobs (usually) and get caught up with being tight with the boss, which is never sustainable, so it escalates, and often to disaster.

9. BarbaraMarch 17,2026 at 3:05PM UTC

   Need more details. Just live with it and don’t gossip about it with others.

10. AnonymousMarch 17,2026 at 3:47PM UTC

    You ignore it though if it is affecting your getting work or doing things you need to address it directly. Don't be afraid to speak up when it affects your work. Looking for a new job because of that without knowing much more doesn't really make sense unless you are being treated unkindly. Can you bring HR into it? or a skip level manager?

11. AnonymousMarch 21,2026 at 4:46PM UTC

    Our “HR” is completely incompetent.

12. AnonymousMarch 24,2026 at 5:28PM UTC

    OP above: I work in HR, definitely include them in any communication. Add in the legal department which will assure that others get involved. When you add in legal they get nervous that you will file a legal claim and it will force others to act. Good luck, and sorry you feel that they are not helpful.

13. AnonymousMarch 17,2026 at 3:56PM UTC

    Would you be interested in a VA position?

14. CMTMarch 17,2026 at 8:57PM UTC

    My sister has been looking for a remote positions. Do you know someone hiring for a VA position? Thank you for your assistance.

15. AnonymousMarch 17,2026 at 8:32PM UTC

    Sometimes that is the case. That's why the OP needs to consider the individual situation before deciding what to do. Sometimes if a company is caught red handed with unequal treatment of employees, the lawyers make them bend over backwards to avoid that for a while, but eventually they typically go back to their old patterns. If there is a specific issue, such as Marcia shows up to work late more often than on time but has never had so much as a reprimand, while Jan was late once with a doctor's excuse and still got in trouble it might be worth bringing up. Always use your best judgment; advice from an anonymous person on the Internet who hasn't lived your life never replaces your own discernment.

16. CMTMarch 17,2026 at 8:56PM UTC

    My sister has been looking for a remote position we live in North Carolina. Is there a company you know of hiring?… thank you for your assistance?

17. Mikiala WilliamsMarch 18,2026 at 3:14AM UTC

    Don't be discouraged push through the hard days even when you don't want to. Push through the difficult days, even when you don’t feel like it. You're not alone and you will land a job that you deserve!

18. Noise GotanamMarch 18,2026 at 12:13PM UTC

    Unfortunately, this is so common. I've seen it in every work place. Even relative's are supervisor over sisters, cousins, you name it. I have never been a favorite at any job. I just go to work and do the best job that I can and try not to focus on the Nepo babies

19. AnonymousMarch 18,2026 at 1:06PM UTC

    This is literally EVERYWHERE. In all my years of working I have never had a job where there was not favoritism of some kind. I found it best to simply do my job and not worry about others.

20. LaVerneApril 9,2026 at 8:30PM UTC

    Sometimes that is easier said than done :)

21. AnonymousMarch 18,2026 at 1:06PM UTC

    The last sentence means you just needed confirmation on here that it’s time to look for a new role. When I was in my 20s, I remember someone who was on their way to retirement told me that if a job is jeopardizing my mental health- then it’s time to leave. Because nothing will change unless the people causing the issue decides to leave.

22. Monette AndersonMarch 18,2026 at 2:52PM UTC

    Favoritism in the workplace can be real but sometimes it’s actually about visibility and access. Before assuming unfairness look for patterns. It’s access more limited, or are others just easier to work with and advocate for. If you still have access to growth, focus on building the right relationships and showing your impact. If your path is consistently blocked, despite high-performance, then maybe it’s time to move on. Just because someone else is winning, doesn’t mean you’re losing. Sometimes people have that woo that makes others gravitate to them, it doesn’t mean your impact isn’t or can’t be seen.

23. Jen FrischenMarch 18,2026 at 4:43PM UTC

    I agree with this so much. Sometimes it is very much about visibility and access. I once had a position where I thought my co-worker was favored. Her voice was always heard and it seemed like she was the one called upon for everything that was favorable.

    I am a person who does my work diligently. I keep my head down and just plod along doing what I need to do. Most of the issue was literally just that co-worker shared a doorway with my supervisor AND that my co-worker never shut up. She was very vocal about everything and she always made her opinion the loudest.

    Sometimes you really do just have to speak up or get your project in a few minutes earlier, write the most compelling e-mail or whatever seems to bring the results and attention you want.

24. AnonymousMarch 21,2026 at 4:45PM UTC

    This individual has access to conferences that a top performer has been denied for years, despite the fact that the new “favorite” has only been at the company a few months.

25. AnonymousMarch 18,2026 at 6:13PM UTC

    You ignore it and keep your mouth shut and keep working. If the money and benefits are worth it. I did it for over a decade. In the end I was given an impossible PIP. And quit anyways.

    I really think that maybe I should have just quit, but because I am the only breadwinner in the family, I wasn't strong enough to do it until pushed out.

26. Penni HumeMarch 18,2026 at 6:18PM UTC

    I went through the same thing last year at a job. It sucks and it is favoritism, have you thought about the pros and cons about your position are you happy there? Think about your happiness and health.

27. AnonymousMarch 18,2026 at 6:18PM UTC

    You coukd take a medical leave (have your MD write a script for 6 weeks LOA). The employer is not privvy to what you are taking the LOA for, so you do not need to disclose a reason to them).

    I took a stress LOA with my dr's note, found and landed a new job, then returned to the old job 1 last day and handed in my resignation at the end of my day. Bye bye stress. LOVED my new job for 5 years b4 retiring. ?

    Collected disability from the state during my LOA, and my employer paid me the balance so I made almost the same amount of money as if I were on the job.

28. AnonymousMarch 18,2026 at 9:21PM UTC

    Not great advice, really. It's a little more complicated than what you lay out here. If you are suggesting the employee apply for FMLA - all well and good...but what state is she in (assuming she is in the US), is her employee required to provide FMLA (a few different factors go into that), does the OP actually qualify for fmla (been there at least a year, full time, etc.), there is certain info the employer (through HR definitely not direct manager) can request the employee provide, the employer could in fact reject the request. So many factors than just telling her "you could do this" without knowing all the details.

29. AnonymousMarch 19,2026 at 5:49PM UTC

    Honestly, this is really BAD advice! I leave of absence usually requires some sort of justification, that is, unless you plan to do it WITHOUT pay. Further, if they realize you're doing it out of pouting, you place your job at risk. And this economy, it would be the dumbest thing in the world to risk losing your income for something petty like this

30. AnonymousMarch 19,2026 at 1:32PM UTC

    No. Highly unprofessional and likely illegal.

31. Erica KinslowMarch 20,2026 at 1:19PM UTC

    illegal? Mental health is health. It’s also considered a serious health condition protected by FMLA if your doctor deems so. Please don’t project antiquated ideologies. I’m also making the assumption that the person requesting the leave has done their due diligence in ensuring they qualify for protected Leaves.

32. AnonymousMarch 19,2026 at 12:00PM UTC

    I’ve dealt with it for the last 10 years of my career. I even watched “favorites” leave the company & then get hired back. Move on if you can, take the money & do the minimum if you can’t.

33. Courtney StewartMarch 19,2026 at 12:32PM UTC

    All of the comments here are good. I would not stay, though. I would start looking for something else, and once you have an offer, give notice. If you're financially able to just leave, then go for it. But staying will damage you, and no amount of money is worth it. I speak from experience.

34. AnonymousMarch 19,2026 at 1:36PM UTC

    Staying will not damage them. That’s a bit dramatic. As adult we need to learn how to handle things like this, how to regulate our emotions. There will always be favoritism in workplaces until people machines are in charge.

35. Patricia Osborne RandolphMarch 19,2026 at 12:34PM UTC

    Is it favoritism or friendship between managment and staff? ? Sometimes both combined into burnout for others

36. AnonymousApril 4,2026 at 10:32AM UTC

    This doesn't provide me enough information to help you. Is it due to friendships or are other folks just better at self promotion?