I am the highest performing person in my team. I have had had 3 promotion interviews but no promotion. It's been 3 years in my job.

16 Comments

1. AnonymousNovember 1,2025 at 1:18PM UTC

   Excellent points all!!

2. BarbaraNovember 1,2025 at 1:20PM UTC

   What do you mean by you want time to unskill?

3. Joan Williams, Senior Talent Acquisition SpecialistNovember 1,2025 at 4:43PM UTC

   I think she means upskill.

4. GirlBossanova934974November 2,2025 at 1:59PM UTC

   1) How do you know that you are the highest performer on the team? What independent source of info are you using for that? 2) You have been in the role for 3 years. What is the average number of years an employee has been with your company? When I started my career, I was in my mid 20s and most of my coworkers had been working for the organization for 20-30 years. 3) Why do you feel you are qualified for the NEXT ROLE? Education? The problem today is that many promotions are handed out to people not ready for the next role. No education, no training, and no mentor. IF you feel you are really ready for the next role, you are free to apply to other companies. It happens all the time! I myself have done that 2-3 times in my career.

5. Dr. Patty GrossNovember 2,2025 at 2:01PM UTC

   Just because you are a high performer on your team does not necessarily mean you have the skills required for the promotion. Have you discussed upskilling with your boss? Do they have a tuition reimbursement program you could tap into? Most important - have you trained someone who can step in and do your job once you are promoted? That was the biggest mistake I made in my first career job. I made myself indispensable. It was so bad that they had a hard time approving vacation because, "What if there was an emergency while I was gone?" Good bosses are vested in their employees' careers and will partner with them to achieve their goals. If your boss doesn't want to take the time or make that investment, you may need to look outside.

6. AnonymousNovember 2,2025 at 3:35PM UTC

   If they wanted to promote you, they would. Upskill in your free time and look elsewhere. I waited for years for a promotion that never came. Instead they showed me the door. Don’t waste another 3 years there.

7. Vivian LeeNovember 2,2025 at 6:22PM UTC

   Yes, the employer could string along employees with the dangling carrot per Laura Whaley ( @loewhaley ). Especially if it results in the job reaching a dead end or being shown the door.

8. AnonymousNovember 4,2025 at 4:16PM UTC

   Same here, waited 2 years literally same story. No training, no tools and a fake engineering team that had no engineering degree or background but were somehow hired as analysts that morphed into VPs.

   Too much work, reports were a mess, no order, more and more clients being added to the list, it was a constant rat race and once I advocated for my team to get raises I somehow became the problem and was given a warning. I was able to request a FEHA accommodation that “saved me” from being let go during the accommodation period. You should take medical leave immediately. Go see your PCP and a psychiatrist. Say you’re having a nervous breakdown and work is too stressful. They should give you 6-8 weeks off and technically you know you’d be not going back there so you’re buying yourself 2ish months of salary on SDI

9. Vivian LeeNovember 2,2025 at 6:20PM UTC

   I understand the frustration.

   Which feedback have you been getting from the interviews? If feedback is vague with not being ready, take initiative by asking for detail to create an action plan to bridge the gap. If it’s a technical skills gap, ask if there are opportunities for job shadowing the person in the position.

   Being the top performer could also result in being held back for the employer’s selfish reasons. Especially if they know they must hire two or more people to cover your role.

   How often are you having conversations and working toward your career goals? It’s best to look for external opportunities if your boss is unsupportive and is holding you back for selfish reasons of exploiting your work ethic.

10. AnonymousNovember 3,2025 at 1:00PM UTC

    The only way I was able to move up was leave some companies will never see you potential and I had already been doing the job for 5 months during a colleagues maternity leave when she returned I was moved back to my role. When a similar opportunity opened up they hired a new person to fill it. I left two months later I had been there 3.5 years. Companies will take advantage of if you let them. Revise your resume to the skills you have that most align with the role you want and apply to the opportunities you seek every time you apply and the cover.

11. AnonymousNovember 4,2025 at 1:38PM UTC

    If they know you will stay and nobody else is advocating for you you don't get for being the best it's politics and also if they know you will leave and actually need your skill set

12. Eileen JoyceNovember 4,2025 at 3:52PM UTC

    "I am the highest performing person in my team." It's not what you think that matters. Find out how you can attend to the needs of the company and then lay out your value proposition at the interview.

13. AnonymousNovember 4,2025 at 4:16PM UTC

    I do think it's worth taking some time to find out if there's something about your leadership image that may be getting in your way. Letting your boss know you want it (they should if you've interviewed 3 times) but starting asking for feedback after meetings and other areas where you have visibility opportunities. "In that meeting, was there anything I could have done differently? How did I come across. How would you have approached that?" If someone is stuck and a high performer it usually means there's something they need to develop- may be leadership, discernment skills, or professional image.

14. AnonymousNovember 4,2025 at 4:18PM UTC

    Go on medical leave immediately. Ask chat got what your state leave options are. Then you know you’d have that time to regather yourself. You need a break mama!

15. AnonymousNovember 4,2025 at 6:58PM UTC

    I would if you can sit down with HR and ask for some feedback on why you are not being considered for promotions over the 3 interviews. Can they share some feedback so that you have goals to aim for. If there is no HR ask your manager the same thing. Be prepared for feedback which you may not want to hear and that may make you uncomfortable. If it is fixable do what you need to do. If it is not then your only other option is to consider a move to another company where your value may be greater. Mend any issues with your manager if you can and/or adjust your behaviors to fit what she wants still staying true to yourself. Often asking for and getting real feedback will help you to move ahead. Wishing you the best.

16. AnonymousNovember 10,2025 at 5:12PM UTC

    I would like to offer a different perspective on this. My son-in-law has consistently applied for promotions at every company he has worked for and then when he does not receive the promotion, he quits and moves on to another company. He has failed to listen, better yet HEAR, the advice given to him when he has been rejected and continues to claim he has "no idea" why he didn't receive the promotion because he was the "most qualified".

    I am friends with three different people who have worked with my son-in-law (including his own father) at three different companies and all have told me the same things about why he was not given promotions; he does not have good communication skills; is often belittling, demeaning and condescending with co-workers in a way that would make him a poor candidate for a managerial role. And he is also known as the "whiner" and "constant complainer" that no one likes working with. I know he has been told this more than once in his reviews and has consistently been asked to "do better". He laughs it off.

    My point is, sometimes we don't hear or want to hear, the feedback that is being given to us. I would ask point blank why you were overlooked for the promotion and what you can work on going forward and then I would really work on the areas in which you are lacking, whether you agree with them or not.