I have been interviewing for a sr. position that would require a larger number of meetings with a vast number of people. I work in the AEC (architecture, engineering, and construction) industry, and thus the vast majority of my interviewers are men - not a surprise. Why I am posting? Because during each of the interviews, each of the person has said "That's a really good question" - they truly seemed surprised. I'm struggling to decide if it's my age, gender, or that their other candidates haven't thought of those questions.... has anyone else experienced this?

15 Comments

1. AnonymousJune 17,2024 at 1:55PM UTC

   In my experience, it seems to be a canned phrase meant to give a moment to think, almost like a reflex. I was at a conference last week, and almost every speaker used this phrase to respond. It's meant to slow down and focus the response. You'll be able to pick up on non-verbal cues to tell if it is truly that they are pleasantly surprised.

2. AnonymousJune 17,2024 at 2:17PM UTC

   It could be a number of things. 1. a canned response to buy time to respond (or they have no idea how to respond) , 2. a way to let you keep talking, 3. they're not interested or haven't been instructed to do anything other than ask questions and see what your answers are. Not all interviews are true conversations.

   I'd recommend observing their body language / non-verbal cues. If it matters, have a follow up conversation, esp. if there's something you want to hear and aren't hearing it (and not knowing would really impact whether or not you take the job). It could be an indication of the work culture too. Will they value you for your ideas and contributions and not engage with you? Perhaps.

   FWIW, in my experience, I've been an ideas person. All of my employers have profited from those ideas. Some have rewarded me, some have not (and still expected me to churn them out---whether it's an idea or an interesting question, etc.). Whether or not you take the job, also be mindful how you feel about how you're being met (esp. with regard to to what you share.)

3. AnonymousJune 17,2024 at 2:32PM UTC

   It's not so much a surprise as a practiced conversation bridge.

4. AnonymousJune 17,2024 at 2:57PM UTC

   Generally "That is a good question" "That is really interesting" "Thank you for your question" are ways to transition to a response, and to give the respondee more time to develop their answer.

   Its a good technique, more appreciated than those who answer immediately.

5. Barb HansenJune 17,2024 at 3:25PM UTC

   If you think they were commenting on your age or your gender, then they probably were commenting on your age and your gender. Trust your gut. There's not much you can do about it during the interview, but you can acknowledge that it happened.

   There's a "that's a really good question" response and then there's the same phrase with the sub-text of, "I can't believe a person who looks like you asked that question. Wow! that's amazing." like they are looking at a trained animal who suddenly spoke.

   Like most of us, I've experienced that formal instance plenty of times. I've also experienced the latter instance more times than I should have.

   It's so annoying. "Yes, people who don't look like you (read: older white guys) have a solid understanding of this industry and sometimes we know more than you do" is what I wanted to say, but couldn't during a job interview.

   I still get some of the same from new colleagues (still almost always white men) who are so surprised at how good I am at my job, but with co-workers I can respond with a friendly jab at those types of comments.

   Good luck on your job search!

6. Jacqueline CutlerJune 17,2024 at 3:45PM UTC

   It could very well be because you are a woman. I ask questions as part of my job (I'm a journalist), and I get told that constantly. It could be that people use that phrase about it being a good question to think for a moment; it gives a natural pause.

   It could be that it really is a good question. And never underestimate that it could be because they are underestimating you because of your gender and age.

   My response is to just say thank you and repeat the question.

7. AnonymousJune 17,2024 at 4:16PM UTC

   Remember in some industries such as yours women in positions of influence and experience are still new so they may not know how to address you in general, so teach them. As an aside some people when hearing something that they didn't expect to hear no matter from who acknowledge that it is a "good" question before they respond. If it's not sexism then it's just how they react in general. Let it go.

8. AnonymousJune 17,2024 at 8:52PM UTC

   Maybe I'm missing something in your post but I don't sense anything nefarious here. Is it possible that the interviewer truly thought your question was good? What I don't see in your post is that the interview said: your question is really good for a woman. This kind of sounds like a solution in search of a problem, sorry.

9. Maggie SoldanoJune 17,2024 at 11:40PM UTC

   I've found "that's a really good question" to be a time buffer — it gives the person time to think through their answer. Don't overthink it. Take it as a compliment. You're making them think and you're already proving your value.

10. AnonymousJune 18,2024 at 1:19AM UTC

    It's a very common phrase in an interview.

11. Paulla Fetzek, MSEdJune 18,2024 at 1:15PM UTC

    In any industry dominated by one gender over another, I understand why you feel this way. I've been at my job for 21 years and work in the Hardware Channel (which is a male majority industry). The number of times I've been talked over, brushed aside, or disregarded because I'm a female is staggering and disheartening.

    But, there are times people have reacted with surprise and it's because I've brought up a good point.

    I would say, give them the benefit of the doubt that the person is genuinely surprised and pleased at the great questions you've asked!

12. DeeJune 18,2024 at 1:23PM UTC

    Im a TA Manager and I love getting questions Ive never been asked during a phone screening. I feel its a compliment when I say that because the question stumped me and made me think instead of the basic questions usually asked. Kick my brain into high gear!

13. JJJune 18,2024 at 11:57PM UTC

    It is a stalling method - like ‘ums’ or ‘ahs’ or women asking ‘does that makes sense sense?’ after making a statement. It is not ideal but the response is probably unconscious. Or, you ask amazingly insightful questions!

14. AnonymousJune 19,2024 at 2:43PM UTC

    I use this as a transition a lot. I love when people ask questions since it means they are engaged. I use it so much it’s probably something I do without thinking. It also give me a little buffer to think about what I am going to say. It might not mean anything, but if anything it’s a compliment. However, you seem to imply that there are some non verbals going on. So maybe all together it could have been age or gender related? Use both your head and your gut. If you are fortunate enough to have multiple options or are currently employed, pay attention to who’s in what roles. I interviewed at one company for a director role. All of the management was male, the only female was an entry level position. She seemed eager to advance but I got the feeling there was a bit of a bro culture. Pay attention to everything since you will have limited information in an interview, but that comment alone probably did not mean anything.

15. Andrea Robinson FrabottaJune 19,2024 at 11:19PM UTC

    I agree it is likely just a transition but it's VERY annoying when it is used repetitively - and it comes off as insincere in that case, almost a conversational tic.