Is it true interviewers don't like honesty? I mean, the actual truth? Lol, I have been told (a few times) "they don't want your truth, you'll never get the job.

15 Comments

1. Tay MercerAugust 5,2025 at 10:10PM UTC

   I also encountered the situation where I was advised to lie on my resume and during interviews in order to get a job.

2. QueenAugust 6,2025 at 3:58PM UTC

   UGH! You know, I'm pretty good at reading people, and I've been told many recruiters are too. When I used to hire for one of my businesses, I could almost always tell when someone was lying, and I did not hire them. I didn't need nor want liars on my team. If recruiters/interviewers are knowingly hiring people they KNOW are lying, I could only imagine the type of culture within, and I would not want to work there anyway. My "perfect position" is right around the corner, and I shall continue using my patience!

3. AnonymousAugust 5,2025 at 10:19PM UTC

   There is just being "you" and then there is being professionally adept and understanding presentation and finesse. You have to read the room and understand that every single situation requires communication skills, ss well as understanding tone and context. This is not dishonest nor is it inauthentic. It requires understanding. Understanding your audience, why you both are speaking in the first place, what your goal is and keeping the exchange on track but with a tone and manner that is conducive to both yours and the interviewers goal of learning more about you with easy and informative context with your personality so the can feel the fit.

4. QueenAugust 6,2025 at 4:18PM UTC

   There's that word! FINESSE! SMH, and that right there is something at which I have never been the best. It could have to do with my personality (and the disorder that's been linked to it). Maybe that's it ... I'm reading the room wrong. I mean, I have a Masters in Communication, I have done Toastmasters, I have given so many presentations and spoke (and performed) in front of hundreds of people - I would think I had all that "in the bag". I do love what you said about (remembering) to understand my audience and why we're "speaking in the first place". One of my favorite acronyms (and saying) is "W.A.I.T. - Why am I talking?! You said, "yours and the interviewers goal of learning more about you", and yes, the interview is for both parties ... maybe subconsciously I "self" sabotage because my mind is saying "yes" to the job, but my soul is saying "I don't think so". I appreciate your time and response.

5. AnonymousAugust 6,2025 at 1:41PM UTC

   If you don’t feel like you can fundamentally be yourself in an interview, the job environment may be a bad fit. However, complaining about your last employer or talking about your professional shortcomings without discussing ways you are improving them is not going to land you a job even if those things are “true.” You need your best self for an interview and you are right that in many cases that is also your authentic self.

   What are some examples of things you are saying that you think have been offputting to employers?

6. QueenAugust 6,2025 at 3:54PM UTC

   Thank you for your response! I appreciate the insight and totally agree that ANY complaining or "downing" oneself is definitely not suitable conversation for a job interview (or any professional setting as far as I'm concerned). Well, quite frankly, I hate to complain (about anything) and like many people, I'm sure I could complain about a lot - I just don't do it. (Lol, I don't even complain about having not been able to get a job in two years! I just wish I could get a handle on "why").

   As a veteran of the military, I have been privy to partaking in many Veteran Career Readiness programs, including FourBlock, Operation New Uniform, Hiring Our Heroes, and even their version of voc rehab (VRE). I have been taught so many things. I know about the STAR approach, the sandwich approach, the elevator pitches, the sales approach, and so much else. I don't believe I necessarily say anything "offputting", I just think I don't say what they EXPECT me to say, or what they are looking to hear. And, of course, how am I to know what that is.

   There have been a couple of times where I will go into a scenario and find myself talking about it WAY too long, so I shut up. LOL. Then, there are other times where I answer a question (giving what I think was a phenomenal answer) and crickets. I feel like a comedian who gets no laughs during their show. It's hard to read the room when everyone is smiling at you, nodding their heads, agreeing with you, etc. I walk away feeling like I did well. I guess someone else just does better than me. I don't know. At the end of the day, I feel like it wasn't my time. And I move on. I just wish there was a way to "know" .

7. AnonymousAugust 6,2025 at 2:44PM UTC

   I like your approach and if I were a hiring manager, I would be delighted to hire you. It would be a breath of fresh air after all the BS. However, I'm not a hiring manager. The reality is that you should be honest but not too honest-- don't say anything they can prove is a lie (like saying you graduated from Yale with straight As if you never even finished high school) but if they ask you why you want to work there, the truly 100% honest answer that "I need the money" will not get you the job. You have to talk about having the opportunity to use your top skills to the employer's advantage and about your previous successes. In other words, you're kind of telling the truth, but using "truth enhancers." I hate it, it's maddening, but you just have to play the game. Best of luck!

8. QueenAugust 6,2025 at 3:40PM UTC

   Aww shucks! I appreciate you saying you would hire me. It put a smile on my face. Yes, I believe I might "over" share sometimes. Lol, and fortunately I have never responded with "I need the money" although in the past, that has been the case. I actually make it priority to only apply to jobs I actually WANT to work, meaning I'll be showing up everyday for the pleasure of doing the work (with the consequence of getting paid for it). I am grateful for your response and will look into those "truth enhancers" to which you have referred.

9. Cindy GrossAugust 6,2025 at 3:53PM UTC

   I'm curious if the feedback is more about getting better at reading the room and presenting the answers that make sense given the context of the situation and the needs of the people around you. Early in my career I often got feedback that felt like I was being asked to be less honest, but decades of corporate tech experience then a lot of emotional intelligence learning I can now see it was often that I wasn't contextually aware enough. Sometimes I wasn't being asked to be inauthentic, I was asked to grow and to pay more attention to relationships and all the human-centered things I hadn't learned growing up or in college. This is one of the things I often help my coaching clients with - speaking to be heard without losing authenticity. Https://befriendingdragons.com/

10. QueenAugust 6,2025 at 4:20PM UTC

    Cindy, you came right on time!! Thank you for your post and offering a solution!! And, I LOVE DRAGONS!

11. Dana GonzalezAugust 7,2025 at 1:55PM UTC

    You have to play the game. Become a skilled interviewee. You don't need to lie, but knowing how to massage your story into a powerful package is a good skill to have and one that demonstrates competency.

12. QueenAugust 8,2025 at 12:39AM UTC

    Thank you Dana! Do you have any recommendations or programs for how to become this "skilled interviewee" and "massage" my story? I am willing to invest my time into the training for this necessary information!

13. Dr. Patty GrossAugust 7,2025 at 3:08PM UTC

    I think the "they don't want your truth, you'll never get the job" is overstating it. Being careful not to "over-share" is a tricky line, and a better characterization of what is required. The notion that you should only answer the question being asked without embellishment, unless it enhances your specific qualifications for the job, is the best course of action. Avoid sharing details about your health or disabilities unless you will require accommodations, and never mention your family status, including infirm children or parent as that will telegraph a potential need for an upcoming FMLA leave.

14. QueenAugust 8,2025 at 12:36AM UTC

    Thank you Dr. Patty Gross! I am grateful for the insights and input. I appreciate you sharing the advice to "only answer the question being asked without embellishment". At the end of the day, what I'm hearing is PRACTICE PRACTICE PRACTICE!

15. Dr. Patty GrossAugust 8,2025 at 2:36PM UTC

    and remember the part about "unless it enhances your specific qualifications for the job." It is always best practice to have a copy of the job description in front of you when you interview (unless you can memorize it without confusing it with other positions you are interviewing for). That way, if they ask a question about what you have done about one qualification, and you have an example of something else, you can include that, too.