I am a VP at a 12-staff nonprofit.

Anonymous

September 30,2021 at 7:53PM UTC

Welcome to Fairygodboss!

We’re the largest online career community helping women achieve their career goals. Gain access to articles, jobs, events, and a supportive network of women and allies. Membership is free, always.

I am a VP at a 12-staff nonprofit. We have a board of directors evening social event in mid-October that falls on an evening that I have a standing, prior commitment. Normally, I would put my work first and attend the event. However, I am retiring at the end of the year so I don't feel quite as compelled to attend an after hours work event -- especially when the board members really prefer to socialize with their peers and not staff. Although our CEO initially said our attendance was optional, when I told him I wasn't sure I would be attending due to a prior obligation, he was not pleased. I don't want to burn any bridges, but I also feel it's important to follow through on a commitment I made to other people. I can't make everybody happy. Any advice?

Why women love us:

Daily articles on career topics
Jobs at companies dedicated to hiring more women
Advice and support from an authentic community
Events that help you level up in your career
Free membership, always

7 comments

Share your insight

Join an authentic community that helps women support each other at work. Share your professional experience or ask for advice — you can even post anonymously.

7 Comments

Join the conversation

AnonymousSeptember 30,2021 at 8:26PM UTC
Even if it's for a few, just go.
AnonymousSeptember 30,2021 at 9:03PM UTC
If you have not made missing events in the past and you are the event the exception and need to be elsewhere then forget about and go to your prior event as planned.
Your boss will just have to get over himself.
Alexandria Scobee |Leadership Coach | IT ManagerSeptember 30,2021 at 10:34PM UTC
If you are retiring and they said it was optional I would say stick to your prior engagement. If they wanted mandatory then they should have communicated more clearly. If one event burns the bridge it doesn’t seem like it was a stable bridge anyway.
AnonymousSeptember 30,2021 at 11:16PM UTC
Don't go. You have other plans.
Like you said, you are retiring. ) Congratulations on that!!)
Crowds and Covid-- one others excuse to skip it of you wish
AnonymousSeptember 30,2021 at 11:17PM UTC
Typos :(
AnonymousOctober 1,2021 at 12:17AM UTC
Since you already have prior commitments, I would say skip it.
AnonymousOctober 1,2021 at 4:08PM UTC
If you can't find a way to attend both, then consider emailing everyone at the top and explaining that your'e so sorry but you had a ongstanding other plan you couldn't get out of and that you'd be there in spirit and hope it goes off without a hitch. Surely a few ppl at the top will understand and even write bac' o problem have fun!' and then your boss, who you've Ccd will see that he's the outlier. Just don't do it in a way that makes it obvious that your'e trying to get him to see himself in the wrong!