Workplace Bullying.

22 Comments

1. AnonymousJanuary 4,2023 at 12:22AM UTC

   You document any events that are illegal, speak with an employment attorney and get witnesses.

   If an attorney will take your case that's great. Otherwise I would leave and find a better place to work.

2. AnonymousJanuary 5,2023 at 3:28AM UTC

   I agree.

   The last thing I would be doing is reporting it to their HR department. HR works for their legal department in every company. HR is not for the employee it’s for the employer. If you want to get anything done about this document everything and contact an employment lawyer. Leave HR in the dark until they hear from your lawyer.

3. AnonymousJanuary 13,2023 at 12:13AM UTC

   I do not recommend this. Depending on the lawsuit, some agencies require you do something in house first. The is coming from someone who works in compliance. It is in HR's best interest to make sure the company is not sued or in trouble. Most do try their best.

4. AnonymousJanuary 14,2023 at 12:42AM UTC

   My husband is a compliance attorney (not hr though) and he said that the HR people will back up the offender. They will continue spinning out people until they figure it out.

5. AnonymousJanuary 17,2023 at 5:19PM UTC

   This is not necessarily true. I agree with the poster above. I work in HR management and have terminated and demoted people from entry level to leadership positions. I have also had my hand tied and been overrulled by someone higher up not in HR. The last time I was told the right thing would not be done, I was gone within 6 months after finding a new job. At one point that company went through 3 HR managers in one year. Most try to do the right thing. We do not want to be apart of a lawsuit. Part of our job to make sure things are being done right, if we cannot then most of the time we will leave.

6. AnonymousJanuary 4,2023 at 1:11AM UTC

   Report it through your company's system (whatever that process is) and look for another job. Reporting it at least creates a record that these events occur and that individuals have behavioral issues. However, as HR is not your friend and usually reporting events results in zero action that will actually resolve the problem, seek another job somewhere else ASAP. Your mental health will thank you.

7. Barb HansenJanuary 4,2023 at 1:36AM UTC

   Write down everything that happened, including dates, times, who was present, and what you felt.

   If you spoke to colleagues, friends or family after the incident, write that down as well. It's important to have and document contemporaneous conversations that you had with others.

   Write it all down, preferably on your personal electronic device.

   Continue to document every interaction related to this event (or series of events). If you speak to an HR representative, write down who you spoke too, when and how that interaction occurred (email or in person). HR is generally on the side of the company which may mean that they are not on your side, so documenting everything, including all company representatives, will help you if you have to seek outside representation.

   Then, as mentioned below in previous comments, reach out to internal company representatives, and if you don't get a good response, talk to a lawyer.

8. AnonymousJanuary 4,2023 at 1:16PM UTC

   I filed a report with the employer. I have been out from work since 12/20. I tried to put in for Mental Health workers comp and was denied. Now I have to get someone medically document my medical condition. I am on the lookout for another job.

9. AnonymousJanuary 4,2023 at 2:15PM UTC

   I work for one of the big automotive manufacturers in a professional role. I had a horrible experience a couple of years ago. I felt bullied and discriminated against due to being a female. Ultimately, there was one area manager here that was driving most of the discourse...My direct manager told me "it's like you have a bullseye on your back...he hates you." I documented everything for 8 months and then reported it to HR. I immediately applied for a COVID unpaid LOA (just had to say I did not feel comfortable working due to COVID) and stayed out for months unpaid (thankful I was able to afford to do that) while HR was supposed to be doing an investigation. The HR investigation was a joke. They did nothing and when I asked who they spoke to (there were witnesses to much of this), they simply said they didn't have to tell me. At the end of my LOA, I returned to work as much as I hated to...I did not want my Area Manager to win by quitting and giving him what he wanted.

   I spoke to an attorney who basically said unless I had recordings of things that were said to me, it was nearly impossible to prove discrimination (he said/she said).

   While HR was zero help, I am here to say that you shouldn't get bullied out of your job. I went back. I spend lunch breaks crying in the bathroom stall some days. I looked those I had reported in the face and smiled and although HR did not help, the abusers largely left me alone when I returned. I got a poor performance review (shocker) with no raise and no bonus for the year.

   When I got back I did request to not work for the same direct manager. They put me under a new manager doing the same job. My manager still reported to the same Area Manager, but he largely ignored me which was fine for me. In the year after my return, the new manager who had recently transferred from another plant, told me constantly that I was his best employee, gave me an excellent annual review (which was in alignment with the ones I had previously received), and have me my full bonus amount along with a 7% raise (when the average was 2-3%). After my good review, I started looking for a different job in another area of the company (not with the same Area Manager). I found one and have been in my new role for about a year and half. I feel appreciated and am happy to be in the new role.

   Don't give up, but don't expect HR or anyone associated with the company to really help either. If it is a large company, like mine, maybe you can make an official report to HR and request a move to a different direct manager. Lots of people told me not to report it as nothing would come of it (largely true) but I was to the point that I was going to quit if things didn't change so I wanted the bullies to know that I was not scared of them so that maybe they would reconsider treating someone else that way. I hope things work out well for you.

10. AnonymousJanuary 4,2023 at 3:11PM UTC

    That sounds very much what I am experiencing. What is worse is that I work at a major hospital system. I have also experienced some injuries associated with working there and my doctors, who are doctors could likely vouch that I should no longer be able to do the job I'm in. (They all were against me taking the job in the first place!)

11. AnonymousJanuary 5,2023 at 2:07PM UTC

    My experience with this mirrors yours almost exactly except, I did get put in a PIP and terminated exactly 30 days later even though I fulfilled all the required milestones of the PIP. I hated that job from the first week I was there but was basically stuck or faced having to repay $60K in moving/relocation and a recruiter fee. I was HAPPY the day I was walked out. HR is not your friend.

    To the original poster: it is very difficult to prove harassment and bullying and even though I had 8 months of documentation, the employment attorney I talked to said it is very hard to win against a company with deep pockets, even though I felt it was ageism, it was hard to prove. And, the guy wanted $5,000 retainer to even move forward. I was better off leaving, did not pursue it, rue the day I ever accepted that job, and was thankful it was finally over.

12. AnonymousJanuary 14,2023 at 12:39AM UTC

    I expect that will happen to me too. I was trying to buy time to find a job, any job at all. I gave up a couple of part time exercise classes because after a 12-13 hour shift, I could not function safely. I rue having done that. I always had a couple of jobs and thought having a very part time second job would be safe. It was - but I gave it up.

13. Gaberelle HannahJanuary 6,2023 at 2:58PM UTC

    I’m soo sorry that happened to you. I’m glad you didn’t give up and everything turned out well on your end. Karma is real and God don’t like ugly, they’re going to get theirs in the end. Stay blessed sweetie. ❤️❤️❤️

14. AnonymousJanuary 14,2023 at 12:36AM UTC

    I filed a report with OCR, requested FMLA leave (unpaid), tried to get workers comp (they won't consider emotional distress as compensable), and the HR thing. I have never heard from my "manager" who is never on site during my shift. I am extending the FMLA as long as I can and could legally pursue physical injury from the job. It is a very high turnover job. HR were like ok, we will investigate while you go back to work... uh duh. On a followup to that, my sole friend on the job informed me a few days ago she was being treated poorly as well.

    I'm also going to counseling, more to get me going in the right direction... and it isn't staying in this job. Imagine, everyday going to work and people are looking at the ground, saying they don't want to be there. That's not a place to be or people to be around. Be Well!

15. AnonymousJanuary 5,2023 at 1:47PM UTC

    if you have an ethics hotline with your company managed by a third party use it. That third party will look into the situation reported and my company's case the third party is overseen/managed by a law firm. They are looking out for the company but they also will be investigating the reported abuse/unethical behavior(S). Best part is the reporting person can stay anonymous. This also allows for coworkers who witness this to also standup and report the behavior.

16. AnonymousJanuary 5,2023 at 6:00PM UTC

    Read your employee handbook, is there a section on sexual harassment in there. Usually that is where the section provides details on acceptable workplace behavior. If its there and you were required to sign it so were your abusers. Seek out HR and your direct manager and document and ask for an investigation. Also contact the EEOC and file a formal complaint. The employer is required within 30 days to do a full investigation and you are entitled to details of same. Contact a good local attorney familiar with your local regulations for the size of employer you are in. None of what you list is acceptable. Oh, and look for a new job...

17. AnonymousJanuary 6,2023 at 2:34PM UTC

    I recently experienced this. A man asked me if I was on heat. He called me fat repeatedly and other vile things. All on teams. I went to HR they made him apologise. I left soon after. It’s a horrible situation to be in. If you are going through this I hope you are ok. If you are witnessing this then please stand by the victim and support them. I wish someone would have stood up for me and been there to help with my case. Others knew what was happening. They only said once I left.

18. AnonymousJanuary 6,2023 at 2:56PM UTC

    The first day at my last job my new coworker looked me up and down and that was it. From that point on she bullied and terrorized me. She turned the entire department against me. I did everything they say a person should do. I stuck it out for four years because I didn’t want to give them what they wanted, me leaving. No amount of documentation, ignoring them, sticking it out, being the better person, speaking to HR….will help. I spoke to an attorney and none of it is illegal and if any of it is I would need significant proof. Save yourself the headache and mental breakdown it will eventually result in and please start looking for a better fit. It took me a year but I found a company that treats me great and you definitely can do the same. Know your worth and decided how you feel you deserve to be treated. HR & management can’t change it but you can. Hugs to you!

19. Evelyn LivantJanuary 6,2023 at 3:22PM UTC

    I'm very happy to hear that you found a much better situation!

20. AnonymousJanuary 14,2023 at 12:20AM UTC

    I am working it. It is is hard. Very educated and want to get into a field after raising kids. I had a volunteer coordinator tell me, "we know you well, job hopper". REALLY? I volunteered for your organization for 13 years, that wasn't hopping.

21. AnonymousJanuary 7,2023 at 8:58AM UTC

    Similar situation. Been there for over five years. And I had a great loss in my family, I was sad, depressed, started exercising and feeling better about myself. Lost a little weight, and then they turned on me. Like some kind of pack of wolves these women acted insidious. I was gossiped about by higher ups, and more. I stuck it out. Tried to shake it off. But it wore me down, and then I attempted to discuss matters and find a solution with the owner. Ending up firing me while I was out on FMLA. now I’d run after one incident of poorly handled bullying, or harassment. Hostile work environment! That’s illegal.

22. AnonymousJanuary 13,2023 at 12:33AM UTC

    I am sorry you are going through this. Document everything: date, time, place, people witnessed, exact words. Do not put emotion with it, but only facts. Depending on the place change may or may not happen.

    I once worked at a company where an employee made a comment about something that had happened. As someone in management, I spoke with HR. The HR person went to the general manager to do something about it and he said no. The general manager told the HR person too bad and that it did not matter if the company got sued. He refused to punish the offending employee. It was a bad company with high turnover, including in HR. The HR manager, having their hands tied told me they could not do anything and shortly thereafter quit. I left as soon as I found a job as well.

    Some places are toxic. Some places will tolerate horrible behaviors. Most will try to do the right thing. People are saying, HR does not care. That is not the truth. I have said it before on this site and will say it again. If a company has high turnover, especially in HR watch out. They can have their hands tied. Before I left, we were on our third HR manager in a year. The second one quit only after a few months. They do not want to be with a company that is causing trouble. And if you are wondering, the company was sued and lost.