I started a new management job about 2 months ago, and I'm already broken.
Anonymous
I started a new management job about 2 months ago, and I'm already broken.
My boss didn't tell anyone that they'd be OOO for the first 3 weeks on the job. I didn't get an on-boarding, and the culture is toxic. My entire team has told me individually in our 1:1's that they are made to feel stupid, useless, or afraid to ask questions. Also, coming in as a new leader, it was jarring to meet with so many people, all of which who didn't have a single positive thing to say about how they felt about being in the company overall.
A few of my colleagues have been demoted or let go but I haven't been informed, so I keep asking for materials or asking for meetings and then finding out the hard way that the owner is gone or look ridiculous as I haven't been informed that someone no longer has management standing. It wouldn't be a big deal at another company, but here I'm made to feel like I'm a moron.
My boss, I can't get a gauge on, but they left me completely on my own for the first few weeks. When we have met, I repeat myself three or four times when I talk about my track and plan... they don't listen, so when they come to me asking for things, that I know need to be done. Then, they act surprised that I took initiative to do certain tasks that really need to be done and can't be ignored. Otherwise, they treat me like I'm stupid, as they sincerely don't listen to what I am saying. That and they're so disorganized that when we do talk, they leave out important information that I need for projects that they have requested. I do ask if anything is required that I might not have, and they always say I should have everything, and being new, I don't know otherwise. So, when I go to do a project at their direction, it's not correct. The other projects I've started on my own, I have sought out information, and found the resources that I needed. When I point out the lack of resource, there's no apology, clarity or help to get what I need. Just ignored. Even worse, some things I need their approval to get access. If I ask for the approval, it's unintentionally highlighting that they lacked providing me with a decent on-boarding, which in turn makes them be passive-aggressive with me.
I've found myself having to notate everything and send notes to cover my butt constantly, effectively managing everyone else around me because the major players that I do work with aren't managing themselves and in turn are claiming that I am 'not getting it'. My notes and follow-ups are proving otherwise, which are really just the project plans, and basic notes that you take for any meeting. Even just taking my own notes has been leading to additionally unnecessary hostility, as it's perceived as being haute or sensitive, instead of best practice in any business.
One of my counterparts was demoted and had people removed from his team, at the other people's request because this manager is so nasty, dismissive, and unsupportive. I have personally experienced it first hand, so I avoid this manager as I can. I finally said something because of how nasty they are in a review with HR and it blew up in my face. Not because of HR, but because my manager thinks I'm just being difficult. The team I inherited who used to be managed by this problem employee all individually stated, that manager made then feel worthless, dismissed them, or was outright a bully - none of them understand why he's still here and avoid talking to him.
I was also notified about two other colleagues, who I was forewarned were difficult, and asked to handle. When I tried to manage it, I was told to pull back... so they're now effectively being allowed to undermine and bully me, both publicly and in private, because they're 'necessary to the business'.
My friends have commented on how it's clearly affecting me, but I have no one to turn to in my role, except HR, who also has strong opinions on some of the current leaders and was incredibly supportive.
I'm exhausted already. Being gaslight to this level has me bewildered. And being under-minded by my own boss and my counterpart, publicly, makes me want to quit. I've already lost 5-10 lbs from the stress. I'm a smaller person, and have medical issues, so it is showing and can be dangerous for my health. But I need the job.
I don't know what to do.
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