This year I accepted a part-time position at a local cultural organization after a multi-year caregiving break from work.

Anonymous

December 30,2022 at 9:03AM UTC

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This year I accepted a part-time position at a local cultural organization after a multi-year caregiving break from work. My major assignment was tour guiding and visitor education. I excelled and was a model employee, gaining praise from two board members as well as from the foundation president. However, during my end-of-year review, the executive director had nothing constructive to say and told me in a condescending way that he overwheard me rambling during my tours. I’m upset as I have given my all to the job. How do I handle a boss who doesn’t seem to appreciate my work or respect me as a person?

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AnonymousDecember 30,2022 at 1:53PM UTC
Ask him to demonstrate what he's looking for in a tour guide by giving you a sample tour so you can emulate him. If that's not a possibility, or if he won't do it, I would start looking for a new job.
AnonymousDecember 30,2022 at 5:33PM UTC
Thanks for your suggestions!
AnonymousDecember 30,2022 at 2:11PM UTC
Have someone senior to you that you trust go on one of your tours and provide constructive feedback, or make a video and see for yourself if there's truth to this complaint. If you see yourself as a "model" employee, you may be blind to your shortcomi gs. The delivery of the feedback was rough, but you can use it for what it's worth, and if you can improve on your job, that's something to point out in another conversation.
AnonymousDecember 30,2022 at 5:32PM UTC
Thanks very much for your feedback!
AnonymousDecember 31,2022 at 3:16PM UTC
Ask him to be more specific. Did he hear exactly what you were saying? We’re you telling a non related story l? We’re you saying something but going into to much detail? Are tours taking too long? When I go on tours, seen some tours guides tell interesting anecdote, but historical that brings at what I’m looking at to life. Challenge people when they give you feedback, ask for specifics. Feedback is given from the prescribe of behavior observed (objective based) not opinion, conclusions. Some men are of the opinion that women talk too much, thereby, not saying important things, and some find it annoying. The word “rambling” sounds like a word that is coming from a subjective viewpoint, opinion. He could stated that he noticed you going onto too much detail when discussing….It wasn’t til I got older I started to nicely, tactfully and calmly challenged people’s comment that appear flippant rather than constructive. If people cannot find the language to expand on their comment, and back down. Or people find that they have to stand up straight and use their words. You might find something different ,or the issue is with them, all along. If it’s real feedback I welcome it and self correct.
BeaBoss693209December 31,2022 at 7:40PM UTC
Thanks very much for your feedback!
AnonymousDecember 31,2022 at 5:56PM UTC
Record one of your tours that you do and play it back at home and listen to yourself. Then if you feel similarly to his feedback take it and use it to adjust your behavior. Additionally, concurrently please let him/her know that you are okay with getting feedback on your work but would like it done in a constructive way and not a destructive one. Let them know that you are a sensitive person and that your work is a part of your well being and if you are not appreciated while being given feedback that you will have to reconsider your long term thoughts about working there. Truth might be the best way to assure you can continue without feeling hurt.
AnonymousDecember 31,2022 at 7:41PM UTC
Thank your for your helpful comments!
Clydene HorriganJanuary 1,2023 at 2:00PM UTC
To add to the conversation, I would ask your boss to give you timely feedback so you can address it. Nobody should be surprised by what their manager says during a review. By this, I mean that your review is not the place to hear negative feedback fir the first time. That is poor management technique.
BeaBoss693209January 1,2023 at 7:52PM UTC
Thanks for this useful advice!