I've been working from home for over 17 months.

62 Comments

1. AnonymousOctober 11,2021 at 12:50AM UTC

   File a complaint with the EEOC. It doesn't cost you anything.

2. AnonymousOctober 12,2021 at 12:14PM UTC

   File with EEOC now, in case they are bringing you in to fire you. Then you really can claim retaliation, which is the best way to win this discrimination case. Although simply reporting that she called you the N-word should do it!

3. AnonymousOctober 11,2021 at 2:10AM UTC

   Being a single mom does NOT make you powerless. MANY of us are single moms, myself included. You need to take care of yourself so you can care for your children.

   Maybe you did wait too long, but now you are aware of what needs to be done.

   Start looking for a new beginning immediately.

4. Sheryl BrinkleyOctober 11,2021 at 3:30AM UTC

   Tough situation and very sorry that you are experiencing this. Helping to close the office permanently may be a huge blessing in disguise, a gift to close this chapter altogether. I agree that you should prepare to look for other employment as this feels very toxic by the way you describe the environment. You may also wish to contact your local EEOC to discuss the workplace harassment issue. Check out this website to get some highlevel free information.
   https://www.justanswer.com/sip/eeoc?r=ppc%7Cga%7C1%7CLaw%20-%20Search%7CEEOC%20-%201&JPKW=eeoc%20california&JPDC=S&JPST=&JPAD=313772429268&JPMT=e&JPNW=g&JPAF=txt&JPCD=20181121&JPRC=1&JPOP=TM-Top1k-Set4&r=ppc%7Cga%7C1%7C%7C%7C&JPKW=eeoc%20california&JPDC=S&JPST=&JPAD=313772429268&JPMT=e&JPNW=g&JPAF=txt&JPRC=1&JPCD=&JPOP=&cmpid=6746643&agid=900672663&fiid=&tgtid=kwd-45547921543&ntw=g&dvc=m&gclid=Cj0KCQjwnoqLBhD4ARIsAL5JedINDB5ibyUn-VxNV_gzkYQVTTsZ_KhTR-jeJKn-WLGNMyAzLXvpm-EaAgapEALw_wcB. Taking some form of action will help to relive some stress knowing that you can see light at the end of the tunnel.

5. AnonymousOctober 11,2021 at 2:40PM UTC

   Why can’t you just say that you would love to help but you can’t lift anything over 10lbs and you may not be as helpful as say, someone else? Is facilities part of your job? If not, I don’t understand why they need you specifically. This sounds like they need a body to do manual labor and that’s not something you can do.

6. Goalsetter576975October 12,2021 at 5:35AM UTC

   This I say I can't then she retaliates by telling our CEO I'm refusing to work. And he believes her without letting me explain myself. I am looking for work everyday. But I think I should contact an attorney in case they fire me for refusing to go into the office for cleanup. My actual workload gets done daily.

7. AnonymousOctober 16,2021 at 5:03PM UTC

   If lifting and cleaning is not part of your normal job, then don't worry about not doing it. They fire you can collect unemployment and they deny it, you can show this is not part of your normal work. They could hire a moving company and cleaning company. No way in the world of covid, would I clean something unless I am in that field. Be strong.

8. Goalsetter576975October 12,2021 at 5:29AM UTC

   I want to sue for harassment, making it difficult to do my job because of her responses and constant "snappy attitude " towards me. The one time I speak up to my CEO he tells her what I said and of course she retaliated. Then that turns into well the CEO says your work isn't great therefore you're not getting your full bonus and only a 2% raise. Can't I sue for discrimination, toxic workplace which caused my headaches, anger, anxiety? I've caught myself snapping at my child at home and parents when we visit. Not to mention stress!

9. AnonymousOctober 13,2021 at 12:35PM UTC

   You may want to review the EEOC site...or seek legal assistance...i would recommend HR, however the CEO's handling of your last conversation and your supervisor's reaction leads me too believe this its a culture within this company...typically when this type of harassing, racist and hostile behaviour is identified, there is a formal investigation...good luck...
   (https://www.EEOC.gov)

10. Chetara RippettOctober 13,2021 at 12:43PM UTC

    Before you report anything to anyone, take a step back and document what you are dealing with. Then go through the list and consider what is and is not harassment. A lawyer won’t care that your boss gave you a snappy reply. The N word is a different story

11. LindawerOctober 13,2021 at 12:47PM UTC

    Definitely document, document, document before giving any indication of your intentions to take legal action or find a new job. There ‘s an app called Track and Assess that is a way to log workplace bullying.

12. rgstaffing@bellsouth.netOctober 13,2021 at 12:57PM UTC

    Do not sue. You will be viewed as a troublemaker and trust me--word gets out. Find a trusted colleague for reference purposes and start applying for other jobs. I have always said that it takes two people to participate in a "toxic" relationship. Don't be that person who cannot leave. You can. There are plenty of jobs and many of them are now requiring a proof of vaccination. The choice is yours.

13. Goalsetter576975October 12,2021 at 5:33AM UTC

    Don't worry, I'm not expecting sympathy just guidance on what to do without being completely jobless. No, the lifting wasn't part of my job description. I did have a doctor's note but that expired on the 9th. I've since had to go back to work and I'm still in disbelief over the reasons why it has to be me. "Those guys can't find things to keep them busy. They need step by step instructions and hand holding"
    As if that's my fault or problem.

14. IntrapsychOctober 13,2021 at 12:19PM UTC

    You are not obligated to stay we're your not wanted.
    Relieve yourself of the situation so that better things can come.

15. June GreenerOctober 13,2021 at 12:25PM UTC

    Look for something else and something better.
    Then your situation will be better hopefully.

16. AnonymousOctober 13,2021 at 12:25PM UTC

    Sending best wishes your way. I can relate, having just left a toxic work environment as well.

    Please remember all your capabilities and wins as you navigate getting into a better work situation. Things will get better for you!

17. Jenny BilfieldOctober 13,2021 at 12:30PM UTC

    “I’m afraid I can’t move desks but I’m sure others can. How else can I be helpful “ might be the way to go. Work on your resume and start arranging informational interviews to get out. This sounds very toxic. I’m sorry for you!!

18. KristenOctober 13,2021 at 12:37PM UTC

    Sounds super toxic. I suggest you get out. It's a job seeker's market right now. Polish up that resume and fnd a better fit where you're treated with respect. You can do it!

19. AnonymousOctober 13,2021 at 12:40PM UTC

    Buy yourself a tape recorder. Record everything. Go into the office and record every conversation that happens that day.

20. AnonymousOctober 13,2021 at 1:06PM UTC

    Once again, please don’t do this without making sure it’s legal in your state first. I’m sure everyone giving this advice means well but it is bad advice.

21. AnonymousOctober 13,2021 at 12:41PM UTC

    Also, get a doctors note if you don't already have one saying you are unable to lift more than 10 lbs.

22. AnonymousOctober 13,2021 at 1:18PM UTC

    and have that doc state that "due to underlying health conditions" you should not be in the office

23. Violet Cassidy-Maroke (She/her)October 13,2021 at 12:41PM UTC

    This sounds terrible - get thee a new job my friend. Keep searching until you find somewhere where they value your worth.

24. BethBOctober 13,2021 at 12:43PM UTC

    It sucks to be yelled at and threatened. In terms of suing, is your boss an equal opportunity jerk or only to you?
    I’m saying this as a working mom. We only have so much bandwidth. Use your energy to change your situation and move forward, not stay stuck in the past. Your boss is a jerk. You have choices. Continue to tolerate this behavior. Make a change in how you respond to her. Or make a change and leave. Yes, you might be able to sue for harassment assuming your boss has singled you out based on race, religion, etc. That takes energy though and still isn’t going to leave you with what you want.
    If you don’t want to leave, My advice is to push back when your boss calls you a bitch or the n word. Calmly reply that it isn’t acceptable and you would appreciate being treated with the same respect she gives others on the team or that she herself is given.
    Why is it so important to stay with this job at a company where they don’t seem to care about how you are treated? It’s the best job market I’ve ever seen.

25. AnonymousOctober 13,2021 at 12:55PM UTC

    Rule # 1 - get proof . If you are working in a discriminatory work environment you need solid proof . This is for your own good . Get a recorder app on your phone. And if you can get a trusted colleague to be your witness when you are being treated unfair, do so . Calling you by n word is very aggravating !

    #2 stop convo with CEO speak with HR and file an internal complain
    #3 - slowly look for other opportunities . This is a good time to find other job opportunities. Update your cv & get it popping it
    #4 citizen advise can help you with anything work related including supporting you while you raise a complain for verbal abuse / discrimination at work .
    Visit https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/work/discrimination-at-work/checking-if-its-discrimination/if-youre-being-harassed-or-bullied-at-work/

    #4 practice mindfulness - think at the bright side of been able to maintain a job through out this entire challenging time . I’m sure you done a lot , and you should be proud of yourself for being this strong and resilient. You got this.

26. AnonymousOctober 13,2021 at 1:05PM UTC

    Yikes I rarely comment but could be really dangerous advice. In some states it is illegal to record another person without their consent (in CA for instance it is a felony). Please check with a lawyer first.

    Most plaintiff’s side lawyers do not charge anything upfront - the take a percentage of whatever settlement or jury award you eventually get.

27. AnonymousOctober 13,2021 at 1:10PM UTC

    Keep in mind that HR basically works for the company and not really for you!!!! I would never go to HR about my supervisor because she would go directly to her not as an mediator but an ally. Whenever someone gives me any advice I try to filter it through my own experiences. Do you trust your HR? Have you seen them work positively for anyone? Do you feel comfortable when HR comes into the room or do you always have an uncomfortable feeling?

28. AnonymousOctober 13,2021 at 1:07PM UTC

    Wow...just wow. I would DEFINITELY grab that cell and video/audio tape that BIOTCH! Gather evidence of all this harassment, and you have a great lawsuit, and I would go to great lengths to have her nasty ass FIRED!!! yep, FIRED! I have one word for you to consider EEOC.

29. MPOctober 13,2021 at 4:25PM UTC

    First check whether that is legal in your state for one person to record another without consent. Here in NY it's legal but places like CA for example, so not. But definitely document all incidents, even if it's just contemporaneous notes you write and date yourself, emails, memos, disciplinary action letters, etc.

30. VMOctober 13,2021 at 1:19PM UTC

    Holy toxic work environment! Sounds like they expect you to be a pushover, so tell you don’t feel comfortable. If they push back, tell them you yourself have symptoms or have been exposed and are quarantining (not technically lying since this could be true). Also, shine up that resume, you deserve better! Life is too short to dread work!

31. Karen GongawareOctober 13,2021 at 1:27PM UTC

    If you are in the states, call the EEOC and file a toxic workplace complaint along with racism complaint. Give documented times and days these incidents happened. Make sure you have a DR.s note on file stating you cannot lift or move anything over 10lbs. Then they are guilty of harassing someone with a disability and not adhering to the doctor's letter. Once the EEOC fines them, go ahead and sue in civil court. A lawyer will represent you for a % of the settlement.

32. AnonymousOctober 13,2021 at 1:28PM UTC

    This is not only toxic, but not even legal. If you have well documented all this, you can likely get an attorney w/ no money upfront. First question is have you reported your manager to HR? Do you feel safe doing so?

33. KathrynOctober 13,2021 at 1:33PM UTC

    Reading the comments your HR must be bad. I am HR and of she came to me I would have started an investigation and would help get rid of manager. Please look up EEOC an see what it takes to file. And push back o being one to help clear office. Law is on your side. If you have to file the EEOC will walk you through it and help you. I will help you I you need it I have filed in the past and won.

34. AnonymousOctober 13,2021 at 1:33PM UTC

    We accept abuse because a lot of times you are pushed to a corner and know there is so much at stake if you push back. I’m here to tell you that you are worthy of being treated with respect and kindness. I suggest getting a doctors note and requesting a leave of absence. It could come from a primary care doctor due to anxiety and stress. Then use that time to focus on updating your resume, getting in contact with peers/mentors and let them know you’re looking, work on a financial plan in case your OOW , and consult w/an attorney or legal aid. When you return don’t allow anymore disrespect. Get in contact with HR regarding any issues arising, send emails documenting conversations and IF they retaliate by firing you, sue them.
    As a single mom I know it’s scary but you’ve got this! You are in my prayers and sending strong, confident energy to you my sister!

35. Focused721350October 13,2021 at 2:08PM UTC

    OMG! I'm so sorry to hear this. Get a lawyer TODAY!!!! You can get one without a retainer fee! Especially! under these circumstances. NOT EVER!!! SHOULD A BOSS OR CO WORKER TREAT ANOTHER PERSON SO HORRIBLE!!!! THAT'S SO ABUSIVE!!!!
    Good luck and God bless Sister! ;)

36. AnonymousOctober 13,2021 at 2:42PM UTC

    This is unbelievable and clearly falls under the Workplace harassments criteria here in Canada that can be reported and we can report it anonymously. Not sure if you have such rules and regulatory authorities in the place you work. If so utilize it , if not certainly get a lawyer. Your legal fees should be recovered from your boss/company

37. Lisa WatersOctober 13,2021 at 2:45PM UTC

    Their treatment is uncalled for and completely unacceptable. However if you don't have dates and witnesses, it is your word against theirs.

    I agree with everyone else to document everything.

    Being a single mom and "needing" a job is no excuse for them to treat you badly.

    My only (probably unpopular) opinion is this. Get the doctors notice saying you can't lift over 10 pounds. If you are going in to close the location and then 100% remote, is it worth it to you to find another job. Yes there are other work from home jobs but with the vaccines and rates declining, that is changing constantly. We are implementing a hybrid schedule here where those who can work from home do for 2 days one week and 3 the next.

    I am in NO way saying you should accept their behavior but document incidents from here on out. If you try and go back now and say "a year ago, she said this", they are going to treat you as just a vindictive person not getting your way. (It isn't right but it is what it is).

    If you have been there 12 years, is it worth it to start over? You have to do what is best for you and your family including all mental health.

    Good luck!

38. Goalsetter576975October 14,2021 at 4:50AM UTC

    Thank you very much! I do have years of notes and printed calendar notes of these incidents. Our CEOs assistant knows and has heard my boss curse me out but he will not speak up. People have seen me in tears including our CEO and that was the 2nd time I spoke to him about my issue. But that caused chaos and it was her word against mine. I have been looking into EEOC as most have brought up and just learned about a Separation Agreement. I have provided a doctor's note and my doctor knows about my anxiety and my years of issues. Also now going to see a cardiologist because I get stressed out more.. but our CEO is asking for more details. Which being in Healthcare he knows that's a violation so now this is his retaliation. There are 12 people in the office that can help but they only asked me and I've been doing what I can alone. There's not much I can do without further direction and my boss isn't giving me any. This sucks!

39. Sarah LarsonOctober 13,2021 at 2:46PM UTC

    As other posters have said, lawyer up! In the meantime, I would talk to my doctor/therapist and explain the situation about going in. Say it’s causing you stress and anxiety and see if they’ll write you a note or give you solutions on how to manage. Likewise, I did see an article in HBR about this, I haven’t read it yet but there could be some gems:
    https://hbr.org/2021/10/re-entry-stress-is-contagious-heres-how-to-protect-yourself?utm_medium=email&utm_source=newsletter_daily&utm_campaign=dailyalert_actsubs&utm_content=signinnudge&deliveryName=DM154878

    Good luck, going back to an environment where you’ve been bullied is traumatizing. Going back with the bully, even more so. Please talk to someone about this and, I know you can’t afford an attorney however, there is always potential for pro bono or those who get paid at the end in a percentage of the settlement with no upfront cost to you. Bad mouthing you, especially when you speak up to hr borders retaliation which is also illegal.
    Trust your gut, do what is best for your mental health.

40. Beverly RuyleOctober 13,2021 at 2:47PM UTC

    It takes a lot of energy and fortitude to go the legal route and at the end of the day, you might win the battle and lose the war. You will still need to find a new job. So, I suggest you channel that energy into the job hunt now.

41. AnonymousOctober 13,2021 at 3:15PM UTC

    on point.

42. Daniel WentzelOctober 13,2021 at 2:54PM UTC

    This management practice is outrageous and intolerable. These are practices that date back to the early 1900s. Management is more about people skills than getting the job done.

43. Ehryn KramerOctober 13,2021 at 3:06PM UTC

    Yes. The brutality of some management systems are based on puritanical ideas from the Victorian society, which by the way, accepts methods of torture as a means of punishment

44. Ehryn KramerOctober 13,2021 at 3:05PM UTC

    This is exactly why i hate jobs

45. ?October 13,2021 at 3:10PM UTC

    What would you tell your best friend, or your child to do?

46. AnonymousOctober 13,2021 at 3:14PM UTC

    wow. there's alot of zig-zag in your story here. I'm not sure what to pull out and what information is just your emotions speaking. Your boss sounds awful. No one should speak to anyone that way. But, you're a single mom and need your job (I'm assuming this). So..the CEO (not the nasty boss) has asked you to help close the office. You didn't say that you have issues with the CEO, just that you haven't spoken with him/her in a very long time. Ok...So if the CEO asks you to do something, and you need the job...and it's humanly possible for you to help close the office, then go in and do what is asked of you. It doesn't matter if it's "fair" or not. If you live/work in a Hire/Fire "at will" state, then you've got limited choices. they can fire you for refusing to help and come in. You have no recourse. So...if it were me, I would just go in and do the work--no worries about "bad mouthing" (??)--and be on the look out for a new job. That's about all you can do, unless you want to quit now. I don't mean to sound harsh, but your options are sort of limited.

47. Goalsetter576975October 14,2021 at 4:41AM UTC

    My CEO has turned his head several times when I went to him to talk about my boss. Employees have quit because of her. And others have walked out. Upon their return, she purposely blocked their computer access. Our CEO didn't protect me both times I went to him. Instead he told her I went to discuss her demeanor towards me and then she retaliated. I'm definitely looking for another job.

48. Kim RaperOctober 13,2021 at 3:38PM UTC

    I am utterly speechless at how you have been treated. I would suggest to reach out to your local EEO Commission for guidance. That is at least free vs a lawyer. Please take care of yourself and document everything you can remember and going forward as well. I would not waste a lot of time getting your ducks in a row either. You will surely need to look for another job as that one cannot be salvaged nor would I want you to stay there.... Spots dont change colors so to speak. You have been abused in the workplace, this exceeds any definition of harassment - its abuse. Best of luck to you, take care of yourself.

49. anon3796October 13,2021 at 3:56PM UTC

    If you are not able to lift more than 10 pounds have your doctor prepare a letter stating this. If your condition also includes other disabilities then the letter should say that you have multiple conditions prohibiting you from returning to the office to assist with this.

    As to the more serious treatment, if you documented it you should have be able to use this in any grievance or EEO charges. If not, begin making note of these past occurrences and document the timeframe in which they occurred.

    Only you can decide if the job is still worth it and you wish to continue to do it. Filing a grievance through HR can provide you with some protection and they will address the matter, get your supervisor to cease and desist and prevent retaliation.

50. NikkiOctober 13,2021 at 3:58PM UTC

    This is awful. I am angry reading about your situation. Is there no HR department? Can your CEO explain what they want you to do? If it something that you can do, you might have to suck up being with that boss for a while while you do those final tasks. Can you write down the incidents between you and your boss and share them with your CEO? Get everything in writing. What policies are there that might be helpful to you?

51. Goalsetter576975October 14,2021 at 4:38AM UTC

    Our HR is outsourced but if there's a complaint (12 people in the whole office) they go to my boss and CEO. The CEO only goes and tells my boss everything and does not protect me so that's where the retaliation comes from. This just sucks.

52. AnonymousOctober 13,2021 at 4:09PM UTC

    You say you don't understand what they want you to do to close up the office. Have you asked what they want you to do? Did they tell you they want you to move furniture or are you making an assumption? You don't have a basis to not go in if you're operating from a place of assumptions. If they have told you that they want you to move furniture, then you can do as others suggest and get a note from your physician. And though, if these individuals are as rude as you say they are, be prepared for retaliation if you do that, up to and including being fired.

53. IngridOctober 13,2021 at 5:43PM UTC

    Never underestimate yourself in regards to the necessary skills to get another job. Do not let ANYONE to mistreat you. You have to know your value, your strengths, and how much you worth it. If do not work on, your next employer will be the same until you learn your lesson.

54. Audrey KirschOctober 13,2021 at 5:57PM UTC

    If you are hourly, the OT would be illegal if you aren't getting paid for it. Calling you the B word is a hostile work environment, the N word harassment, both illegal. These boss issues need to be addressed ASAP.
    File a grievance with the EEO. Send a will composed email to the CEO with all of the issues. If CEO doesn't do anything, they are complicit. As for the office shut down, there should be a lot you could do that doesn't include heavy lifting. Boxing up files, emptying desks, break room, etc. DO NOT HELP beyond your physical limitations. You're already playing with your mental health. Do not add destroying your physical health into the mix.

55. Shelby COctober 13,2021 at 7:36PM UTC

    I concur with everything that Audrey said as it is excellent advice.

    In the event that you need an Attorney, you can hire one on contingency. Most of them will do the consult for free.

    Please make sure that you document everything. I have often suggested that people setup email accounts for the sole purpose of logging when an employee/employer is acting inappropriately. Then, every day or occurrence when your mind is fresh, you can email the special account. It insures everything is logged, dated, and time stamped.

    I have also suggested written statements and had people initial at the end of every paragraph, sign the end (all in blue), and then notarized it for them as well. That can get expensive, but if you know a notary or your bank provides the service for free that is an alternative. Just be sure that you select someone that uses their log book and does not have a conflict of interests - like a fellow employee.

    I will caution you since I used to run HR that you should NOT use your email account or any company owned device to send the messages as they have the right to monitor everything. That was one of my "fun" responsibilities when things hit the firewall for one reason or another. We used keystroke loggers too. Everything you use on their network or equipment is their property and subject to search.

    I wish you the best of luck. Sometimes people suck.

56. Changemaker431530October 13,2021 at 9:03PM UTC

    Yes, I definitely agree with this. EEOC needs to know about it. AND do just what you know you can handle closing up the office instead of moving furniture (like cleaning out a break room or sorting files.)

57. Regina BrownOctober 14,2021 at 4:07AM UTC

    You don't need an attorney. Legal Aid is available as is the EEOC. From now on, make sure EVERYTHING is in writing. The next thing you need to do is go to a temp agency and find another position even if it is only temporary. Then turn in your resignation (you decide whether or not you want to provide a two week notice), You are giving them power to mentally hurt you. Yes, you need the job and they know you need the money BUT you are a mentally strong African American QUEEN and just like our ancestors...what doesn't kill you make you stronger. You got this, Queen...show them. You don't need to fight or weaken yourself to accommodate their insecurity...you got this!!!

58. Karen RCOctober 14,2021 at 8:02PM UTC

    When I grow up I want to be like you!! Well said!!

59. Regina BrownOctober 14,2021 at 10:06PM UTC

    Thank you so much!!!

60. Rebecca MillikenOctober 14,2021 at 11:39AM UTC

    Wow! What's your workplace policy on harassment? It seems pretty lenient if someone can get away with not only abusive but racist language. Any place I've worked that kind of language would be immediate grounds for termination. This is either lazy management or your boss has some advantage we don't know about.

    This kind of treatment is illegal and no matter what the CEO chooses to do about it, you can report it and it will make his company look bad. It's not even a matter of you hiring a lawyer, it's a matter of reporting it as an EEOC violation to your state's human rights commission or where ever you go in your area.

61. AnonymousOctober 16,2021 at 5:40PM UTC

    Hello, coming from a similar place in my prior life, you have to take back your power . Here are the steps to surviving:
    Empowering you: 1. Take your time to remember who you are. Empowering your soul, however works for you: hugging your kids, listening to music, learning a new skill, religion, etc. 2. Gather your power back. Use your kids as the reason to find a new job. You dont what to teach them this. Activate your mama bear soul.
    Job search, Do you need help with your resume? Do you need help interviewing, practicing or looking for the right place. Ask us.
    Legally ... follow the advice and contact the correct groups, ask a lawyer. They really will listen for free and likely do something for a %.
    Understand control. Take back control. When spoken to poorly, explain this not proper and you do not appreciate it. Want to hit a trigger, ask the boss if she is having a bad day and if it is effecting her. Remember most bullying stops when you take back power and don't give them energy. If you push back a bully they usually stop.
    Remember people love and respect you, you have the power to become the person you want advice from. Now start taking the steps to see the results. It a lot of work, but more reason to be proud.

62. Mya MoonDecember 19,2022 at 6:16AM UTC

    Wow! Record all conversations with this person, via telephone or other. Voice activated recorder, try to converse via email only. Sorry you're beinf treated this way,