How do you deal with a team member who is know it all.

30 Comments

1. AnonymousMay 19,2023 at 4:53PM UTC

   During the next team meeting make sure you address the fact that "all opinions are welcomed" in this department. There is more than one way to do everything. Ask people for their opinions, then as him "what would he do differently." It may throw him off, but not allow him to fully give an "opinion," but rather, a suggestion.

2. AnonymousMay 19,2023 at 8:02PM UTC

   Only the boss can do that. A coworker can't impose rules for a meeting or a workplace.

3. AnonymousMay 19,2023 at 5:43PM UTC

   Don't correct him.
   Put EVERYTHING in writing. Do not exchange direction or advice or training of any kind verbally.

   He may think you don't know what you're talking about.

   If you are equals then don't try correcting him. EVER.

4. AnonymousMay 19,2023 at 5:51PM UTC

   Agree with this sentiment. It's too much energy attempting to engage.

5. AnonymousMay 19,2023 at 8:07PM UTC

   If you are not his manager then back off. It's not your place. Stop.

6. AnonymousMay 19,2023 at 6:11PM UTC

   Do not argue with him. He may be looking to get your goat. Just say something like "Really" to him with no emotion in your voice and move on. Why should you you care what he thinks?

7. AnonymousMay 19,2023 at 8:02PM UTC

   Yup. Grey rock.

8. AnonymousMay 19,2023 at 7:14PM UTC

   I have a few on mine. The newest one also loves to one up you. You will tell a story and she has one better. She also gets very into co workers business. Unfortunately it’s hard to shut this one down. I know it’s frustrating but I just feel they are so insecure with themselves

9. AnonymousMay 19,2023 at 8:00PM UTC

   I have to deal with someone like that too.

   I hate to do it, but I have started to do these things:

   1) pick my battles.

   2) if I do point out something that turns out to be an error on his part, he will respond with non-replies. So I have decided to begin follow up emails with "I'm sorry I wasn't clear. What I meant was..." and then pivot to a bigger institutional goal rather than the little thing they got wrong.

   3) I did complain to my boss, and she had us meet together with her. It was a horrible experience, but his good-guy mask came down and she could see him for what he is.

   4) Avoid, avoid, avoid.

   I hate to have to massage the ego of someone with an obvious personality disorder, but it's for the common good. He's probably had decades of experience with people deciding it's not worth a fight when he asserts his superiority even though he's wrong. I can't change his personality, and that long history (and future) of his attitude working for him is far to much of a hurdle to overcome.

10. AnonymousMay 21,2023 at 12:25PM UTC

    Simply being a know it all does not mean they have a personality disorder. This opinion facilitates stigma. Stop it.

11. AnonymousMay 19,2023 at 8:18PM UTC

    It is difficult to navigate this type of situation for sure. I concur with the advice given below, rephrasing so as to not finger point, that may help. Unfortunately it has been my experience that some employees completely lack self awareness and that makes it really tough to provide constructive feedback. Maybe reaching out to his manager to offer a suggestion for a 360 feedback platform or a Stop, Start, Continue form to his peers to help him see his impact on others. Good luck!

12. AnonymousMay 20,2023 at 6:36AM UTC

    You work around this person. He doesn't care about your corrections. So I would stop trying. Your corrections are not at all appropriate.

13. AnonymousMay 20,2023 at 3:43PM UTC

    Having a different opinion does not make one of you right and the other wrong. It only makes you different. If you want him to let you have yours, it's best to start by letting him have his. If the opinions cause you distress or are meant to harm you, remind him that others are allowed to have different opinions, and you'd appreciate him keeping his to himself.

14. AnonymousMay 20,2023 at 5:16PM UTC

    Following this as I am in a new job and feel the same. They are exteremly helpful but disagrees with anything I say due to the lack of being open minded.

15. AnonymousMay 21,2023 at 1:17PM UTC

    I have a coworker who has said, “this is the way we always have done it!” Definitely does not like change.

16. J CMay 21,2023 at 12:29PM UTC

    I put them on the spot. I’ll say ok since you are the expert on this subject, please educate us on what we need to do or I’ll say ok, since you are the SME please write up a report on this to present at the next meeting etc. I’ve always had them back down when everyone is looking at them. If they want to be the know it all, let the, do it front of everyone.

17. AnonymousMay 21,2023 at 4:54PM UTC

    Exactly!! These are the "experts" that usually run -- a good thing!!

18. AnonymousMay 21,2023 at 12:39PM UTC

    My favorite response is asking, what is the capital of Australia? Most folks have no idea. If that didn’ doesn’t work, ask what a common industry acronym means. Usually folks don’t what the letters stand for.

    I’ve also seen a colleague ask, can you support your idea with documentation or source of reference so she could understand the idea better. Most folks walk away when they have to provide supporting data for their ideas.

19. AnonymousMay 21,2023 at 4:51PM UTC

    Well said,!!

20. GirlBossanova934974May 21,2023 at 1:02PM UTC

    This one is fairly straight forward. When I started by career 30-40 years ago, I had to work with an entire office of know-it-alls. I think it was the same in the next job or 2. Everyone had strong opinions and had no problem sharing those opinions. And they were not too open minded at times. So what to do? 1) You are not going to solve those problems overnight which is what the current line of management philosophy is constantly saying. Not true. 2) It is all about building relationships. I learned over the years to sit down with the person directly at their desk and get to know them. A lot of the time, these issues come from past experience where some "empty suit" came in and starting doing all sorts of crazy stuff. 3) Empathy solves a lot of problems. 4) Most important, one must keep in mind you are there to accomplish YOUR objective or goal. Getting into fights gets you nothing. Being RIGHT, solves nothing. Correcting does little. 5) Know it Alls have a tendency to know a lot about some small area so be smart. You can learn a lot about that area which might take you years to learn on your own.

21. Barbara WhiteJune 9,2023 at 10:02PM UTC

    Excellent advice!

22. Marilyn M.May 21,2023 at 4:29PM UTC

    Stop correcting him because he may think you’re a know it all. If you entertain fools, you in turn will be a fool. If your question is based on a process at work, then refer to your policies and procedures. Your opinions are invalid when dealing with certain people. Your focus should be peace of mind. All the best.

23. AnonymousMay 21,2023 at 4:44PM UTC

    You ignore them.
    Do what you know and cite the facts. If a group effort, decide ahead of time who does what in writing. You work on A, him B.

    If he asks you to explain, explain professionally with the facts (policies, whatever) and do the same to him. But if he's all over the place wrong , pick *one or two* points only and politely ask for more context. If he's clearly BS'ng the situation, the rebuttal he provides will demonstrate that

    1+2=3. If he says "4", ask for how. Maybe he's got a point, but PROOF PREVAILS!!

24. AnonymousMay 21,2023 at 4:59PM UTC

    Get butter for the popcorn as well.

    Yes, karma can be a wonderful thing!! These people eventually blunder

25. AnonymousMay 21,2023 at 5:45PM UTC

    I would revert to written communication when you and he do not align. Then if it becomes escalated you have written documentation of the incident. As an alternative you could ask your manager to help you to broker discussions when you need to and they can witness this behavior first hand. Or simply walk away turning your back physically on him when he raises his voice or gets angry. That is what you do with a child who is misbehaving, it tells them you are no longer listening to them without even saying a word. Not having much detail here that is the most reasonable way to de-escalate an angry person.

26. AnonymousMay 21,2023 at 9:46PM UTC

    Stick to what you know and facts. I worked with a know it all and I would use facts whenever possible. Then I’d something like well this is what the law says but I’m sure you know better because I’m sarcastic like that.

27. AnonymousMay 22,2023 at 2:57AM UTC

    If someone corrects you and you get angry, you have an Ego problem.

28. Bradford McCormickMay 22,2023 at 8:23AM UTC

    Well, first of all, is that person so superior that they can ge taway with it? Do they indeed know more than any and everybody else? If not, they need to be ut down to size. But if yes, then you have a difficult situation on your hands. You have a perso ho is a massive asset and alao an obstruction. Is ther any chnce of you "tutoring" this person to help them (i.e., help htem help you)? They may be worth your investing a lot of time in them even if they rub you the wrong way.

    But, in the end, if they cannot be made, not into a "team player" but into an asset aht is on balance fro more helpful than abrasive, they will need to be shown the door since the success of the company is always first priority.

    I worked in a graoup tht had a really good manager and one of our team mambers had a huge "ego" and als ohad Tourettes' cyndrome so he spouted obscenities through out the day. It wa tolerable. But then he went a step further: he felt he deserved a promotion to manager. This dude MANAGING others? He resigned. Later he wanted to return and was offerered basically the same job he had resigned from, but peroans (I don't know)(, with apromotion in techincal rank. But not manager! He decided not to return.

    As for real "knopw-it-alls", ie.., people who know very little but think they know everything, I was neve a manager but I did have one a my rank who was causing me a lot of trouble and once by accident I had a chance to [put him in his place and did jus thet. Also I had a manager ho wa a know-it-all and tred to "pull on" on me and I called his bluff.

    Know-it-alls are bad news 234/8/365.25. Geniuses who are "wild ducks" need to be dealt with in terms of contribution versus the problems they may cause.

    There's anothe kind of person: I once worked in a situation where the company had shipped a new version of the product which was so bug-ridden that upper managerment came down on everybody. Somehow they hired aperson (a young lady) who turned out to be superbugfixer. She solved difficult problems with amazing speed. She left the ocmpany after only avery few weeks. Nobody could figure our why. I think I did but I kept my nouth shut: They kept laying more problems on her to the point that she had too meuch of it and and was good enough that she did not need to take it. If you have a goose tha tlays golden eggs, no matter how much trouble you are in, don't kill the goose to get more of those eggs. Be hankful for what you can reasonably get (and give).

29. AnonymousMay 22,2023 at 11:35AM UTC

    First, if it's your opinion, then you know it's an opinion, so why are you correcting him? An opinion is a free pov to be throw out there in a conversation. Of course, tone matters, how it's presented matters, in front of a group etiquette matters, will it bring a different pov or will it bring only 'you're wrong' matters. I think there's a professional way to respond and to not react, there's a way to dialogue from varying pov. Correcting him from an opinion, what's the end result goal? To call him out or to really provide a pov.

30. Patricia CrookMay 22,2023 at 2:07PM UTC

    They may be ASD - formerly called Aspergers. Very intelligent but obstinate in their POV. If you approach them with logic, they will consider your point. I would just let them be as pride comes before a fall... and you did offer your opinion. Just be sure not to take it personally.