New hire has many absences and upper management is starting to notice - am I overreacting?

49 Comments

1. AnonymousSeptember 16,2022 at 1:41PM UTC

   I absolutely would speak with her. While it's not any of the employer's business to know what specifically is happening, hopefully she can shed some light and mention "health problems" or something else.

   If she is otherwise a great employee I would go to bat for her. Tell upper management that she is a great employee, works hard, shows up on time, but is unfortunately going through some things that require appointments. She is always courteous when she has to request this time off and it is not impacting the team or our workload.

   If it is, then that is a completely different story. But I wish we would all have a little more empathy and compassion for people who are going through life troubles.

2. AnonymousSeptember 16,2022 at 1:58PM UTC

   Thanks for the reply. I spoke with her today. She gets migraines and has suggested some changes in her with environment that we can accommodate. The scheduled absences are less of an issue, as it's much easier to work around them and find others to cover. I am going to try to mitigate the unscheduled absences and see how it goes.

3. KatSeptember 16,2022 at 3:17PM UTC

   Does your company offer FMLA? If so, encourage her to fill out the paper work for that. I used the FMLA to keep my job when my boss started complaining that I was taking off too much because of them. Have her medical provider fill out the form with the accommodations (lower lighting, x number of days off per month, quieter environment, etc.) she needs. I hope she can find a solution. Even if you don't have FMLA, work out a plan in writing to help her when this comes up. Having to deal with a migraine while trying to do your job isn't easy, especially if they're frequent and/or severe enough to impact physical and mental functioning. Hope she finds a good solution and you can find a way to help her stay on the job.

4. Crystal HowellSeptember 17,2022 at 12:45PM UTC

   Do you have an employee hotline she can call or teledoc to get migraine meds?

5. AnonymousSeptember 17,2022 at 1:26PM UTC

   I have dealt with migraines several years ago and you can be feeling fine and the next day have an attack.

   They were very debilitating and happened at least 2 days per week. I was a full time employee as well but not a new employee.

   Bright lights, perfume , cologne and stress can cause triggers.

   On the job some employees whom were sensitive to strong smelling perfume and cologne had up signs outside their cubicles indicating as such because it was toxic to their health.

   During that time reading a magazine where you would see a perfume sample inside would trigger a migraine flare.

   What helped me was 2 sessions of acupuncture and I was migraine free for a few years. For some they may need more than 2.

   There maybe a local acupuncture clinic or reputable chiropractor that has a good track record in providing acupuncture services which can run about $50 or more per session.

   Peppermint Essential Oils can also help. I have my own Talkshow and did an episode on this subject. If interested send me a private message and I will send you the link to the episode that maybe helpful for your employee or yourself if interested.

6. AnonymousSeptember 17,2022 at 1:48PM UTC

   I get migraines and have some chronic health issues otherwise. The way the workforce is set up often means needing to lie about absences so that a health problem doesn't make you look unreliable. That being said, Section 504 of the Americans With Disabilities Act can absolutely be of use here, as migraines are a recognized disability. If that can be documented in her HR file as a specific health accomodation need, that will be a LOT easier to help her out than not working with her at all on the issue. It's no different than someone needing assistance with diabetes management at work.

   Unfortunately sometimes upper management doesn't work with the ADA well and will use it as an excuse to find a more reliable worker. Also, I'd recommend that she give you a doctor's note stating the migraines problem and that she needs accommodations for them. That alone will go a VERY long way here to document that she is actively working with you on the problem areas.

7. Laura Ann KleinSeptember 17,2022 at 2:16PM UTC

   You sound like a great leader, I'm glad she felt safe with you to tell you what is going on.

8. Laura Ann KleinSeptember 17,2022 at 2:35PM UTC

   Also if your organization offers health insurance (you mentioned it is small) and have case management available, she could work with a nurse on a headache plan and perhaps another provider who better treats her migraines.

9. AnonymousSeptember 16,2022 at 3:28PM UTC

   FMLA? Might not be an option depending on how long she has been with the company. Also, documenting the issue would be a good idea.

10. AnonymousSeptember 16,2022 at 8:05PM UTC

    Our company is not large enough for FMLA. It's an office of about 20 people, half of whom are installers that are on the road.

11. AnonymousSeptember 16,2022 at 3:48PM UTC

    My sister had an employee who did the same thing.
    They ultimately had to fire him because he never owned up to it.

    What concerns me the most is that she doesn't seem to know that this is unusual behavior and that she needs to communicate with you more about it. I'm not saying she has to provide details, but she should be making more of an effort to explain that this is not her typical workstyle, that something has come up, just something that shows a level of responsibility and accountability.

    If you don't stop it now, it could continue and possibly get worse.

12. AnonymousSeptember 18,2022 at 12:43PM UTC

    I absolutely agree with this! My family’s company has an employee like this and if it were up to me, he would’ve been fired 5 years ago. Instead he comes in whenever he wants, and calls out last minute all the time. Other employees complain to me but it’s not my call whether or not to get rid of him. If we were to fire him he’d try to sue us for unemployment and it would be a huge legal hassle. So we’ve cut his hours to the bare minimum. He’s been with us close to a decade. I truly wish he’d leave!

13. AnonymousSeptember 16,2022 at 7:46PM UTC

    I would document everything and set expectations going forward. Also, if you cut her slack what message is that sending to others?

14. AnonymousSeptember 16,2022 at 8:09PM UTC

    Good question, but I will say that others in the company have been given accommodations for medical issues, including more levity in their schedule. Unfortunately there's not a lot we can do with flexibility in her case, but I am trying to make her work area more comfortable.

15. AnonymousSeptember 16,2022 at 10:59PM UTC

    I could have written this post! First, I'm so sorry you're experiencing this. I had an almost identical experience with someone I hired. Before the first week was out, she had food poisoning. During the coming weeks there were repeat absences, flat tires, a family member had Covid, she asked to leave early because she didn't like driving in the rain. Her dog had to get an allergy shot, her nephew had to be picked up urgently at daycare.

    The first couple of times, we chalked it up to an unfortunate series of events. Within the first month, however, the repeat absences and family crises resulted in onboarding delays. This was an employee with an advanced degree that had almost no grasp on the basic core functions of the job.

    We tried to coach around this, did regular check ins, approached meetings with well-curated agendas, set deadlines. Unfortunately, the chronic problems did not resolve themselves. We were about to put this woman on a PIP and she resigned effectively immediately. It really was a blessing in disguise!

    Some of my take-aways:

    -We should have taken full advantage of the 90 day probationary period and cut our losses aggressively and early. We fooled ourselves about the possibility of salvaging this relationship.

    -Listen to the messages that are being given by the employee: if you're seeing chronic absenses this early in her tenure, expect this to be a pattern moving forward. Take this person at face value. If I were starting a new job, I'd have to be dragging a limb behind me to call out like this in the first few months.

    It sounds like you spoke with this person and are working on some accommodations. If anything goes off the rails, fail fast and fail cheap! Get her out of there, relist your position and think through the job description and queues you might have received during the interview process, that would have indicated this kind of work behavior.

    Again, I'm so sorry you're experiencing this, please keep this board posted on next steps!

16. AnonymousSeptember 17,2022 at 7:00AM UTC

    I definitely agree with other posters that there a real danger of a behavioural pattern that will be come entrenched.

17. Crystal HowellSeptember 17,2022 at 12:40PM UTC

    Remember, Hippa laws and be very careful what is asked. You can care for an employee, it may not be reciprocated.

    Your boss will be watching how you handle it. "Some employees may have their cell on record, don't underestimate them. Good Luck

18. AnonymousSeptember 17,2022 at 12:46PM UTC

    As a single (widowed) mother of two young kids I am inclined to feel sympathy for this woman. I am open with my work about what is going on in my life and why I need to be out but my ‘track record’ probably looks much the same as this employees. I would be afraid to even consider starting/looking for a new job for this very reason. And I’m so thankful I’m able to be salaried and each occurrence is not counted against me otherwise I’d lose positions frequently.

    She could be a space cadet, she could be unreliable, or she could be another hapless single parent with her own health problems caught in an unforgiving system.

19. Monique V. RileySeptember 17,2022 at 1:05PM UTC

    I love your reply. I think she should have the conversation with her and be as transparent as possible while displaying empathy. The truth is the system is in place so that the work gets done but what can the person do when life happens. Take your time with the person and help them.

20. Shelby CSeptember 17,2022 at 1:15PM UTC

    She should've activated FMLA for all of those days. HR should be keeping record.

    I also agree with the other posters. There is losts of great advice here. Be careful what you ask and how you ask it. Assume you're being recorded.

21. AnonymousSeptember 17,2022 at 1:19PM UTC

    I think you have to work for at least 1000 hours before becoming eligible for FMLA

22. Shelby CSeptember 22,2022 at 10:30PM UTC

    1,250 can be hit quickly dependent upon the situation. I have done it in less than three months.

    The requirement for service also has provisions that allow for breaks in time which the OP may not be aware of.

    https://www.dol.gov/agencies/whd/fmla/final-rule/faq

23. Laura Ann KleinSeptember 17,2022 at 2:12PM UTC

    I thought about this too but she hasn't been there long enough for an FMLA

24. Arlene Frances Gottardo (Bryak)September 17,2022 at 1:44PM UTC

    No no and no- you are not overreacting- find out what’s up with that….

25. Sandy EarlSeptember 17,2022 at 2:07PM UTC

    So I don't quite understand. She's been sick 4 times in 3 months, and she has doctor's appointments. Either you believe her, or you don't. If you do, and you make a hassle for her, you're an asshole. If you don't, yeah, find out what's going on. But if you're content working for a company that's happy to terminate an otherwise good worker who...gets...sick....maybe some reflection is in order. For perspective I supervise a team of people who are being paid poverty wages. It isn't easy to find someone who's living under that stress who never gets sick. Best of luck to you as you work through this.

26. AnonymousSeptember 18,2022 at 4:18PM UTC

    It might just be crappy timing (a lot of things have happened to her in her personal life), so I am trying to work with her so that she will be at with more consistently. I get that stuff happens, but taking a whole day off with for a doctor's appointment seems to be a bit odd.

27. Laura Ann KleinSeptember 17,2022 at 2:15PM UTC

    Tell her all the great things you value about her but your concerned about her absenses because you are concerned about HER. Ask if she's comfortable sharing with you what is going on and see if you can flex her hours a bit to accommodate her appointments. Be transparent with her. I don't think you're the a-hole here, I think upper management needs to simmer down and trust your instincts and leadership.

28. AnonymousSeptember 17,2022 at 2:28PM UTC

    What you’re describing sounds like a pattern. Let your boss know what’s going on. If she can barely get in a full weeks worth of work in a 3 month period that’s a big red flag. If I were the employer I’d be inclined to just let her go. It might only get worse from here. This is what a probationary period is for.

29. AnonymousSeptember 17,2022 at 4:44PM UTC

    I imagine she is a human being, human happens. Discuss, find out if it is a bad moment in time or if there’s an alternative schedule where you can still benefit from this persons fine work on a schedule that doesn’t frustrate you both.

    people are so quick to fire a good worker over inability to be entirely on par with the status quo. Work work WITH humans as HUMANS and you will find a more dedicated workforce than you ever imagined.

30. AnonymousSeptember 17,2022 at 8:07PM UTC

    Being a good worker doesn’t mean all that much if said good worker doesn’t come to work consistently. Particularly during a probationary period. JMO

31. Joyce Breitweiser HallSeptember 17,2022 at 2:56PM UTC

    The information about having car trouble and not being able to get another vehicle suggests she has poverty issues that need to be addressed.
    Is there a local Community Action Program or other organization that helps with poverty that you could refer her to? Many of them have grant money to help people who have jobs, but are still in poverty, pay specific bills. For example, in my area, we have WestCAP and they have a program to fix cars, another to pay utility bills, and another to insulate houses. I hope you can help her get through the difficulties.

32. AnonymousSeptember 17,2022 at 4:41PM UTC

    Please proceed with caution and ensure you’ve asked enough questions to know this is appropriate advice that will be well received.

33. AnonymousSeptember 18,2022 at 4:08PM UTC

    She gets a ride now from a family member. Not my business, but our city has a good public transportation system, but "taking the bus isn't for me" is what she told me (came up in a conversation). She's making a decent wage for the work $19/hour) for the area (Midwest USA).

34. Afo Ogbeyalu KaluSeptember 17,2022 at 5:36PM UTC

    Use the tools provided by your company, or if your company does not have formal tools, google-search, "employee coaching and counseling tools" and have your HR department vet them. Use them to determine if the issues are truly health, competency/skills related, or attitudinal in nature. Come up with a coaching or counseling plan together to get her back on track, and have her sign-off on it. This way there are no surprises, work production and attendance are tracked, and you've covered yourself and maintained your professionalism.

35. Jacqueline McDowellSeptember 18,2022 at 2:00PM UTC

    Exactly!

36. AnonymousSeptember 17,2022 at 6:20PM UTC

    f she’s got serious medical issues she should have been up front about needing unpaid days off right after starting. If her absences are for something else, then HR/management needs to step in and address it.

37. KellyW43September 18,2022 at 2:52AM UTC

    Having a conversation with her will be the best right now, for you and for her.

    Understanding what's going on and being willing to help will go a long way with her in the long run.

    If you can show her a little loyalty right now, you'll have a loyal employee who will give it in return 100 fold.

    Just remember, the first step to overcoming hurdles is understanding.

38. LORI-ANN BURLINGAMESeptember 18,2022 at 6:50AM UTC

    You are a compassionate person -- and I like your approach. :

39. Bradford McCormickSeptember 18,2022 at 10:00AM UTC

    Unless I read it wrong, this person's job needs a person on the job at the specified hours? It's not like a computer programmer who can do his (her, other's) work at the beach or at 3 in the morning so it's irrelevant what or how many hours they work, just that they get the work done? If it's like that: that you need a warm body manning the post, then you may need to terminate this person (or, better: find a different position for them) no matter how kind hearted you are or how good a worker in general they are. Some jobs really are time dependent.

40. AnonymousSeptember 18,2022 at 4:04PM UTC

    Yes, this is a first shift warehouse position. She needs to be there to receive and send out shipments during business hours. Her backups are me and another employee who was recently promoted to a supervisory position in another department. There is really no way to make up hours.

41. AnonymousSeptember 18,2022 at 1:38PM UTC

    Sounds as if she is still looking for another job. I appreciate your concerns for her, she MIGHT or might not tell you the truth. There are also people out there that 'stuff' just continuously happens to them (car issues, relationship problems, money problems) they might be a great employee, but that also means that they have to come to work every day. You're her boss, not a counselor. Lots of people, Including ME, would never give up that much personal information to my boss. Too much is ammo for the future. I keep my cards closer. She sounds like she is young, and perhaps unable to handle life experiences?

42. AnonymousSeptember 18,2022 at 4:01PM UTC

    Thanks for the reply. This person does have a lot going on in her life, which is why I have cut her slack. She's actually an older employee (50+), married with grown kids and a grandchild that she takes care of frequently. She does seem the type that always has something going on that's an issue, unfortunately.

43. Jacqueline McDowellSeptember 18,2022 at 1:57PM UTC

    I would tread lightly on asking her what's going on. Rather focus on the fact that she has only worked four full weeks. Do a meeting (either at or before the 90 day review) in which you point out how much time has been missed. You can ask her if there is anything as an employer that would help her to meet her obligations, but ultimately, showing up for work is her responsibility. She may have very valid reasons, but if she is not conveying them to you, you will never know. Hopefully, it is a temporary situation. Present her with the facts, lay out your expectations and put it in writing as a counseling note. You definitely should keep a paper trail or it will look like you as a supervisor have not been doing your job, either.

44. Shenelle S. LaPierreSeptember 18,2022 at 3:36PM UTC

    I think in the interest of the position and being a manager setting up a 1-1 before the 90 day review may be helpful. The 1-1 you can be honest and have that open convo to engage and ask what’s been going on. If sr mgmt is catching on, then you’ll have to address the lack of absence before your asked to act on anything. If this person enjoys and wants to keep their job, she should be able to be open enough to communicate for a common resolution.

45. Bernadette M MartinezSeptember 19,2022 at 2:06PM UTC

    You're making a whole lot of assumptions and venturing into territory that isn't your business. If she's scheduled days out and they've been approved, that doesn't matter. If the call outs are a violation of disclosed and discussed policy, address that. Unless the job isn't getting done as agreed upon, it doesn't matter.

46. AnonymousSeptember 19,2022 at 6:18PM UTC

    She's told my it's partially migraines (at least 2 call outs). It's a 40/wk job and she's been roughly working 32/week. I am not making a big deal about the scheduled off days, but may have to deny in the future since she can't do work when she isn't here. Another employee from a different department needs to cover if she's out.

47. AyianSeptember 30,2022 at 12:57PM UTC

    Migraines are a disability. She needs to provide this information to HR. Reasonable accommodation must be made, which includes allowing her to stay at home to manage her condition.

    Please suggest to her a Cefaly device. It's a noninvasive medical device that interrupts migraine electrical signals in the brain and can both prevent and treat active migraines. It's flex spending eligible and the best money I've ever spent in my life. She can also take magnesium between 250 and 500 mg daily, as people with migraines have low magnesium and reintroducing magnesium can also improve symptoms. This conversation is technically beyond the scope of a manager, but someone's we need to be human first and help one another when we can. It doesn't hurt you and can greatly help your subordinate to provide this information.

    Medications can be very tricky and can have side effects severe enough to disrupt one's ability to work, so please advise your subordinate that she needs to make HR aware of not only her condition, but also any changes in medication which may impact her performance.

    Is it at all possible to allow for flexibility in the schedule such as hours or days worked? If she is unable to work a scheduled day, but able to work an unscheduled day, that can mitigate your personal concerns for her as well as the business concerns of needing someone to perform the physical labor. This would also need to involve HR.

48. AnonymousSeptember 19,2022 at 6:42PM UTC

    I think that you need to have a discussion with your HR department on what to do. You are crossing some boundaries here and also making giant assumptions regarding what is going on.

49. Heather HastieSeptember 23,2022 at 2:23PM UTC

    Attendance management is definitely something you need to bring HR into. They have the skills to guide you into figuring out what's wrong and determine a plan for her. Don't tackle this issue yourself.