I have a very very insecure manager.

Anonymous

October 14,2023 at 3:36AM UTC

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I have a very very insecure manager. He likes to tell lies and hurt people and their careers. He has done this many times to people. For some strange reason HR nor upper management will not take action on his behavior. I recently applied for another position outside the group and was very excited. To retaliate, he didn't give me a glowing review to the hiring manager despite my great work for the last 3 and I didn't get the job. To make matters worse, he gives me a terrible mid-year evaluation and tries to block customer feedback. He tells me I go above and beyond. I was taken by surprised. He is treating me like a criminal and it's degrading. I'm trying to clear my name but I can't get any momentum despite all the evidence and documentation. I guess it's time to leave the company but it shouldn't be this way. It's not right. Layoffs are coming soon and I guess he had to pick me. What can I do? or just leave.

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Chrissy Regan SmytheOctober 14,2023 at 12:49PM UTC
You can’t do anything, unfortunately. I’m in the same situation. She’s not my manager but tries desperately to boss everyone around. When any of us are talking to the owner, she starts talking over us or invites herself to meetings where she does not belong. I blame the owner for not stopping the behavior. And now the firm is closing mainly due to this one saying she needed a leave of absence. the owner panicked and decided to close. you cant change a toxic, insecure person, especially when they've convinced the powers that be its not them, its you.
AnonymousOctober 19,2023 at 6:18PM UTC
Thank You Everyone. I don't feel alone and working to go an environment where I feel valued and grow.
AnonymousOctober 15,2023 at 3:50PM UTC
If you're sure layoffs are coming, wait if your mental health will allow you. If they lay you off, you will be entitled to whatever severance packages they provide and be eligible for unemployment. If you just quit, you won't have access to either. Be careful, though. If they put you on a PIP and have documented improvements required (with a termination clause in the write-up) and end up firing you (separate from the layoff), they could fight you getting unemployment. This varies by state, so check the labor laws where you live. Above all, keep copies of all documents showing your work progress and any documents regarding your performance evaluation or plan.
AnonymousOctober 15,2023 at 6:51PM UTC
Thank you. They are doing a character assignation and even tried to forfeit feedback from my customers to make it stick but it came from everyone including being nominated for collaborative projects. It's time to move on but I am very disappointed. I change them and I am ready to move on to the next adventure.
AnonymousOctober 16,2023 at 3:34PM UTC
Contact the HR department contact that you have and also cc the head of legal. Be sure that you let them know about his degrading behavior and that you will soon be filing a hostile workplace report with the EEOC and FEHA. The company will have to do an investigation. Let them know that you want them to not block your moving departments because of his lies and deceit. Find a pro bono attorney via your local lawyer referral service if need be. Good luck. Don't quit, let them package you out and bcc all of the emails and documentation to your personal address so that you have all of the info you need in case they try to retaliate.
AnonymousOctober 16,2023 at 7:12PM UTC
Thank you for all the great advice. My HR is in Europe and can't be found. I am trying to get an investigation underway but my VP wants to blocked it and calls it a communication issue. OMG....are you kidding me. My end of year feedback from my customers and peers outside my organization is great but it's time to move on. I don't expect him to use it and spin it negatively. I can't grow and they get upset when. I am innovative or collaborative with peers outside the organization. No matter if I win, he has succeeded in destroying my character.
AnonymousOctober 19,2023 at 1:38PM UTC
Jobs arent a plenty outside so be mindful. Bend if you have to and dance to their tunes but keep searching under the hood is what i can advice.
VOctober 16,2023 at 6:17PM UTC
This is horrid and it's happened to me too, so you are not alone. Insecure is bang on. As well as doing that below - great advice - if you aren't already, join a Union. They may not be able to help with anything that has occurred before the commencement of your membership, but they can be invaluable in getting momentum (they were for me - Prospect) and copy them in on your correspondence with Legal & HR. I'd also line yourself an alternative reference and look about you for what else is out there - if they refuse to deal with him after you've contacted Legal, it's time to go and be appreciated in a much better company, as I was. Best of genuine Luck!
Clarissa McMickens-ThomasOctober 17,2023 at 12:36PM UTC
I definitely would leave the organization. If he is blocking you from leaving the team then you cannot stay where you are not wanted. In the past year I worked for an organization with a team where 20 of the 27 people left do to this same type of behavior. There is no reason to let anyone treat you poorly. Go where you are valued! He and that organization are not worth your time or sanity.
AnonymousOctober 17,2023 at 1:59PM UTC
LEAVE! This sounds like my former manager. The writing is on the wall. HR is there for the company, not the employees. Sorry you are first realizing this. After 20+ years in advertising, I learned this the heard way.
AnonymousOctober 18,2023 at 5:16AM UTC
Leave the company and it’s toxic manager. Some time our self doubt or self needs stops us from doing it. Don’t let others to disregard your self respect. By being brave or vulnerable helps to find a way.
I wonder that company systems are so blind that toxic people survive and keep harming people’s mental health. There should be a real change in the organisation systems. Organisations are keen when they are hiring people - checking their psychology but not after they settling into the jobs. With the poor systems in place toxic characters manage to survive . A system which can identify the toxic characters without applying biases and handle them seriously is very much need.
AnonymousOctober 19,2023 at 1:40PM UTC
They make them by the dozen these days. Sounds like my former manager. Just try to reconcile for now and start looking outside.