Why do I feel so guilty about leaving a job?

Anonymous

April 26,2022 at 10:16PM UTC

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Why do I feel so guilty about leaving a job?

I have been at my current company just over a year. I even received a promotion within my first year. They underpay and the culture isn’t great, but it’s alright? I guess? The main reason I feel guilty is because of my manager. She is supportive and very flexible, but she is only one of the few good things about work. Is it so wrong to want something better? Do women just inherently feel guilt over letting people down? Why do I care so much?

How do I know I should leave? Should I stick it out?

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AnonymousApril 26,2022 at 10:30PM UTC
Only you know what quality you want your life to have. You need to be aligned with your goals and the quality of your life. Only you know what those are.
I personally have very high expectations for the quality of my life and I surround myself with people who support me and my goals. I care that I love my work and I am paid very well and that I have a superior work-life balance.
I never ever feel guilty about the quality of my life. My life is my design and my dreams help me choose my future.
AnonymousApril 27,2022 at 2:47AM UTC
I wish everyone was that way.
Heather CutlerApril 27,2022 at 1:38AM UTC
This is not meant to be abrasive but your employer would drop you like a hot potato if things go awry.
You're describing a level of allegiance that will NEVER be returned. Your employer won't give you a second thought once you're out the door. If you decide to leave, thank your manager for a positive experience, share the impact she's had on you and suggest you remain in touch professionally should your paths cross again in the future. Best of luck to you!
AnonymousApril 27,2022 at 9:43AM UTC
I felt exactly the same way. I was unhappy at the job, but I couldn’t get myself to leave because of my manager. She was one of the best managers I’ve ever had and I didn’t want to lose that. I decided to stick it out but shortly after, my manager ended up leaving completely out of the blue. Get yourself out if you know there are better opportunities for you. Your manager will understand and be supportive of your pursuing your career goals if she really is a good manager. You can still keep a good relationship with the manager even if you leave.
Barb HansenApril 28,2022 at 8:13PM UTC
Companies do not feel loyalty or guilt -- a company is not a human and it has no feelings.
Your current manager might feel bad if they had to fire you, but they would still fire you, if the company needed you gone.
it's okay to feel some guilt about leaving a manager who supported you.
And it's also equally okay to want something better - more money, a higher title, a better work/life balance, more skills, better benefits, or whatever you want in a job.
If your career path has you moving towards a job were you want more money and a better path to promotion, you can (and should) work towards that goal - which may include you getting a new job.