I have been on the job search for well over a year, and I am really loosing my steam and confidence.

41 Comments

1. AnonymousAugust 16,2022 at 4:25PM UTC

   First of all, I empathize as I'm reaching that point as well. I've been looking for months and my savings are running out so I might need to take an hourly wage to make ends meet. I'm considered 'older' as well and that's discouraging. I'm watching positions that I applied for go to people in their 20s so it's not in my head. I have more industry and life experience but it's seen as a detriment rather than a positive. It's not you so keep putting yourself out there. It's all about connections right now. Contact former coworkers, reach out to organizations you want to work with and dust off those connections you made on LinkedIn. It doesn't hurt to reach out and if they don't respond, oh well! It was worth a try. You got this and keep yourself in the mindset that you offer a lot to the right organization. If you don't have confidence in yourself, why should they hire you to move their company forward?

2. Jennifer KaufmanAugust 16,2022 at 4:39PM UTC

   I'm so sorry this happened to you. First, it's okay to throw yourself a pity party. You were done wrong. Second, seek out therapy if you think you need it. Third, keep a journal of things you accomplished that week. Fourth, surround yourself with supportive people. Fifth, believe in karma. I was gaslighted at one job by my immediate boss and the head of HR. The company no longer exists.

3. AnonymousAugust 16,2022 at 6:18PM UTC

   Hi. It is a difficult job market. And it can be especially hard for an older, experienced woman looking for a position that uses some of those hard-won skills at a salary that reflects at least part of what she can do. So you have my sympathies. It's draining, and the bad experiences make it harder to continue with a necessary positive attitude.

   You asked for advice, so here's some (and I bet you're already doing some of these things)

   (1) Remind yourself of all the things you can do. List previous successes, difficulties you overcame, and skills you obtained.

   Hopefully this will help your confidence, and it's also good practice for interviews.

   (2) Re-post or update your resume on various job sites.

   People with job offers often filter out older resumes. Add a few of the item from (1) above.

   (3) Sometimes you can find a local "job hunting" club.

   These groups can share tips, proofread and make resume suggestions, and provide moral support. Fairygodboss can provide some of this, but sometimes it's nice to meet with people in person.

   (4) Connect with prior friends and co-workers.

   While it can be hard to talk to them about the issues you face, they may provide support or ideas.

   Good luck and best wishes!

4. IntentionGirl136408August 17,2022 at 12:23PM UTC

   A friend told me it takes a week for every year of experience you have. I have 20 years... yikes! it feels like forever, but I've been looking for about 2 months. That helped give me some perspective on how long it should take. Hope that helps you too!

5. AnonymousAugust 17,2022 at 12:29PM UTC

   I was job hunting for 85+ weeks after a RIF. Please look into LinkedIn Learning to keep skills fresh. I upgraded my LinkedIn profile, talked to a coach I met here, had my resume reviewed and then was able to find a position. I took at $20k pay cut, but was so happy to be employed again. I’m still working my hourly job on weekends to make up for the pay difference and like it a lot better now that it is not my only income.

6. AnonymousAugust 17,2022 at 12:41PM UTC

   Networking is key these days! Research companies where you would like to work and see if you have any connections there. It truly helps.

7. AnonymousAugust 17,2022 at 12:43PM UTC

   I feel your pain.
   It's not you. It's America. We do not value experience. We value youth. It's very hard for many people to hire someone who is likely more experienced and worldly. People want to feel powerful, which is hard to do when someone who should be in their position are looking at them, possibly questioning their decisions.

   It is the downfall of our society that we throw out the experience of older employees to make way for the inexperienced. I have pretty much given up my job hunt and will likely live off of Social Security in a couple of years. It's gonna be rough, but, well... there it is.

   This country has always catered to the inexperienced who can be trained. Older people get in the way. How many of us listened to our parents when we were younger (I did, actually). But in general, you can expect to be overlooked. If you add race as a factor, as in my case, you'd understand why I'm just going to throw in the towel.

8. AnonymousAugust 17,2022 at 12:57PM UTC

   Have you considered starting something on your own? Maybe being an entrepreneur and using the experience that you have might get you that fulfilling full time work you need. Bonus is that you don’t have to interview!

9. Gayle Gruenberg, CPO-CD, CVPO - Let's Get Organized, LLCAugust 17,2022 at 1:00PM UTC

   Just curious - have you considered starting a business of your own? Could you apply your amazing skills to some sort of consulting practice? Granted it wouldn't provide health insurance or other benefits, at least not immediately, but it would definitely enhance self-esteem and confidence. It isn't easy to be an entrepreneur, but it is very rewarding. Oh! What about volunteering (short term) for somewhere you really love being? That could possibly evolve into a paid position. Please keep us posted.

10. Melissa MonsonAugust 17,2022 at 1:03PM UTC

    I am sorry you're going through this! I have been unemployed seven times, so I know how hard it can be to keep your motivation up.

    Here's a few pointers if you haven't already tried them.

    1.) Do not keep more than 10-15 years experience on your resume and LinkedIn. It's harder for people to tell how old you are if you list less experience.

    2.) If you can afford it, hire a career coach to refine your marketing materials. Maybe you even need to look at different industries or have multiple resumes for a few different jobs.

    3.) It is hard not to take it personal. I agree. I've been rejected for many jobs. Younger people sometimes get the job because employers want to pay less money. Younger workers can be paid less because they have less experience.

    4.) The average job search takes 4-6 months.

    5.) Consider a side hustle such as Rover, Uber, etc. to make extra money if money is tight.

    6.) Join networking groups for community, support, and to help you find a job. I was in some job transition support groups and they really helped.

    7.) It's ok to have a pity party sometimes, but always get back up. Don't let other people's rejection or opinions define you.

    Remind yourself of your strengths. Talk to loved ones about this. Don't hold it in.

    Post on LinkedIn, IG, etc. that you're looking for work. The most job leads I've gotten have been from strangers. Use this platform, Next Door, and Facebook groups, but be VERY specific if your post on what you're looking for.

    8.) If you haven't already, try temp agencies. Contract jobs are sometimes easier to get.

    Keep your head up. You got this. ❤️

11. AnonymousAugust 17,2022 at 1:08PM UTC

    I am in the same situation, you're not the only one going through this, so please don't lose hope. I've been searching well over a year, I have about 25 years of professional IT experience, I'm older, but I have a wealth of knowledge to share with a company if they would just give me a chance. I have a husband with Parkinson's so I feel an urgency for obtaining employment because he is declining and I need to take care of my family. I have been through several interviews with companies, some I was moved forward in the process and was told they wanted to hire me,, and then, I was ghosted or rejected, this has never happened to me before when I was younger. I am currently waiting on a verbal offer given to me two weeks ago and now they are holding it up, so believe me,, I know your pain. I've broken down in tears and dried up my savings, I took a night stocking job for almost no pay just to make ends meet and buy groceries, I've had to borrow from family and that is something I never thought I would have to do. Some days I feel broken and just overwhelmed about it all, but I usually get out and walk, call my family, listen to inspirational videos or simply just refresh my resume on the hiring sites. Right now I'm in waiting mode on that company and every minute feels like an eternity when you need the job to provide for your family. Take a short break, take a look at your resume and realize how talented you are and all that you have to offer the right place. Keep your head up and know your worth and that you aren't the only one dealing with this type of situation, have faith it will get better, and most importantly,,, don't give up. Yes, you might need to take a pay cut but it will happen for you, the other companies don't deserve us and it's their loss.

12. AnonymousAugust 17,2022 at 8:43PM UTC

    Thank you. I really hit a bad wall yesterday. I am tired prepping for interviews that go no where. so many women are experiencing this same issue. I spent the last 20 years trying to build my career, and I now feel so that it is relevant. I am looking for reputable recruiter to work directly with looking for product development jobs. You would think with our experience we would be more valuable.

13. LynneAugust 17,2022 at 1:19PM UTC

    A Female IT professional? You are a gem! Definitely consider your own business- freelance IT for individuals and businesses owners, minority owned businesses, even helping older people with tech. I’d hire you to help me figure out my wi-fi and home network.

14. LynneAugust 17,2022 at 1:21PM UTC

    Also, have you looked into government positions? Pay may be less than market; benefits usually great as well as time off. Something to consider when you have an ill family member

15. AnonymousAugust 17,2022 at 1:33PM UTC

    It’s frustrating and I feel your pain! It took me over a year to find my current role, and I did have to accept a salary well below anything I’ve earned within the past 15 (yes, 15) years.

    Try to parlay existing skills into new areas. Talk to people in fields/companies where you want to be. Refresh your skill set as much as possible.

    Also - respectfully and sincerely, please check spelling on your resume, LinkedIn profile, etc. A typo can cost you, especially in IT where precision is critical. It’s “losing” and “lose.” You absolutely want to put your best foot forward.

16. Lara Ivey KauchakAugust 17,2022 at 1:38PM UTC

    Try the contractor route while you continue to look. A company like Robert Half or other IT contract firm. Unfortunately, its easier to get a job when you have one.

    Double-check your resume and ensure it has all the most recent keywords for your industry.

    You can do this!

17. Afo Ogbeyalu KaluAugust 17,2022 at 1:56PM UTC

    I agree with the advice posted to your thread. If you haven't already, register with a headhunter or agency that specializes in placements in your field of expertise. They should review your CV/resume/cover letter/writing samples, and help you proofread, edit, and/or update the language to reflect a more" assertive voice" . . . If the headhunter doesn't offer this sort of feedback, hire a career coach able to help you with "behavioral interviewing" . . . That small investment would put you in a better position to find a job worthy of your skills and expertise, as well as, a salary commensurate with your experience. Best of luck!

18. JC LindquistAugust 17,2022 at 2:29PM UTC

    I am with you in your frustration and loss of energy towards finding a job. It is simply hard as an 'older' experienced female to land a job these days. It takes incredible energy to put yourself out there each day.

19. Anita GetzAugust 17,2022 at 2:38PM UTC

    I’m right there with you. I have been looking for a job, interviewing, getting ghosted, unemployment is about to run out, really don’t want to work retail until I find something but I may have too.

20. AnonymousAugust 17,2022 at 2:39PM UTC

    So sorry you are going through this. I can totally relate. It's been a 2-year search for me and I can tell you ageism is alive and well in the U.S. job market. I switched to freelance work because I got so fed up with jumping through HR hoops only to be ghosted. If you have any skills that can be done as a freelancer, you may want to consider that. If you're in publishing, there's a lot of freelance work ranging from editing to proofreading. There are also many reasonably priced online courses in these areas to help you get started.

21. AnonymousAugust 17,2022 at 2:46PM UTC

    You're not alone. There should be an online support group for older women job hunting. Anyone know of one? if not, why doesn't Fariygodboss create one?? Would be great to have a support community share tips and experiences.!

22. Robin LampertAugust 17,2022 at 5:46PM UTC

    You don't have to wait for Fairygodboss to create a new group. You can create one.

23. Susan MichaelAugust 17,2022 at 4:08PM UTC

    Agree with other posters about going through a recruiting firm or even temp agency to get your foot in the door. Do you have a brief overview of what you want to do and how your previous experience/skills sets you up for success in said role? Think 30 second elevator position of what you are looking for and why you are qualified. Also, have you reached out to your network (including former colleagues and acquaintances)? Most companies have an internal referral program . The elevator pitch will greatly help your network understand your goals and background and they can then pass that along to internal hiring managers. Wishing you all the best, you will find something that is right for you!

24. AnonymousAugust 17,2022 at 4:29PM UTC

    I worked for General Motors and after my 50th birthday HR would contact me every year with early retirement offers. That was 24 years ago. I retired at 62 and became an IRS Enrolled Agent at 71. I have a great job working a few months a year, completely remote.

    As an "older" worker, you might have to accept the fact that employers see you as retirement age. I believed it was important to get my career and company established before my 40th birthday and to start researching how to survive in retirement after I turned 50.

    You may never find the type of position that you had when you were younger. But you can research other ways to make money, then put together a plan to achieve that new goal.

25. Joann S. LublinAugust 17,2022 at 6:21PM UTC

    Prior commentators have given you a wealth of advice.

    Here's another tip:

    Suggest you read "Not Done Yet," a book about gendered ageism that's full of helpful tips for navigating the workplace as woman past 50. Author is Bonnie Marcus. I know her and she's a great expert on this issue. You might reach out to her on LinkedIn. Feel free to mention my name.

26. Rosa GoesAugust 17,2022 at 8:09PM UTC

    I would look at potential opportunities to move up in your current hourly wage job. If there isn't, then seek volunteer opportunities you can do on the side to expand your skill set or add to it. Volunteering is also one way to network. Good luck to you!

27. AnonymousAugust 17,2022 at 8:36PM UTC

    Thank you so much for everyone’s comments. I think yesterday I was at my breaking point. It helps to hear other women experience with job hunting. I have so many recruiters contacting me, but either they are too young right out of college and don’t really understand the questions they are asking. I am to the point that I tell them upfront the job they are hiring for does not apply to my skill set.

    if anyone knows of a regrettable recruiter I could personally work with I would appreciate if you could send me the contact info. I have worked in (physical) product development for 18yrs. Looking to move into e-commerce product. I have also looked at returnships so that is an option.

    Truly thank you ladies! I can’t tell you how much it helps me just to know how everyone has dealt with job hunt.

28. AnonymousAugust 18,2022 at 6:12PM UTC

    Its difficult at any age to move into a new industry - it will definitely impact the time you are looking for a role.

    You need a clear story of how your experience translates into e-commerce and a resume that supports that. A temp job or other "sample" of doing this would be really helpful. I would highly suggest a career transition coach - someone who works with people in the IT space to help you with the interview prep.

    Good luck! You've got this!

29. Audrey KirschAugust 17,2022 at 9:15PM UTC

    I was hired for my current position at the age of 61. A much younger friend recommended me for the job. I'm now 67 and so far no one is giving me the sign that I should think about retiring. If you know people in your business, do some networking. Get on linked in and let all your contacts know that you are available. If you're eligible, reach out to AARP in your area. They are a great resource for helping 55+ folks get hired. No reason you can't reach out for some help.

30. AnonymousAugust 17,2022 at 9:51PM UTC

    I'm sorry you're going through this. Unfortunately, ageism is real. I'm 57 and it took me 2 years to find another full-time job after I lost my last one. Even with the networking, resume rewrite, and skills training, once the interviewer sees what I looked like it was an uphill climb from there. I'm not gonna lie, the constant rejection took a toll to the point that in those last couple of months there were days where I debated on whether I even wanted to get out of bed. But I always forced myself to get up. What helped me was to just take things one day at a time. Don't dwell on yesterday's rejection and don't worry about tomorrow's bills because if you do it all becomes overwhelming. On the mental, self-care side do something every day to briefly take your mind off things, even if it's just a walk around the block a couple of times. Financially, when my unemployment ran out, I applied to as many temp agencies as I could and was able to line up several part-time jobs that came nowhere near what I was making previously, but at least I was able to pay the minimums on my monthly bills and keep the lights on. It's easy to say things will get better, but I remember how annoyed I would get when people would say that to me. Just do the best you can and don't be afraid to ask for help. It's times like this when you find out who really has your back.

31. AnonymousAugust 18,2022 at 12:16AM UTC

    I too, am considered "older" by the job market. The new BIG thing is how all of these companies are striving to be "inclusive". It's always covered, repeatedly, in their On-boarding. EVERYONE should be treated the same, prejudice won't be tolerated...blah, blah, blah. The only part of society that it's okay to treat that way, is the "older" applicant. It's BS! I have always been able to work circles around the younger generation, plus I'm not "connected at the hip" to my cell phone?!

32. AnonymousAugust 18,2022 at 3:09AM UTC

    I am very sorry to hear you're going through that and understand the feeling. I was unemployed for 18M early into my career and later again for 10M --I was making a career switch during each experience. So it can also happen in your 20s. Have you tried establishing yourself as an independent consultant? I've seen that work well for experienced professionals. And you can test the market to see what rate you can charge. You are an asset, you are skilled, you are worth it, and you will get through this. God bless you.

33. AnonymousAugust 18,2022 at 9:21AM UTC

    We can help u better by knowing what job and industry you are pursuing and your skill set experience

34. Joshua CorderoAugust 18,2022 at 12:31PM UTC

    Have you followed up with those who have rejected your candidacy to ask for feedback on areas of improvement?

35. AnonymousAugust 22,2022 at 6:55PM UTC

    Most companies do not respond to candidates who have been rejected. Mostly likely you will be ghosted and never hear back fro them at all! Sorry, but that's been the case for me over the past two years.

36. AnonymousAugust 18,2022 at 1:04PM UTC

    You can do this!! I know it's hard, I went 18 months between jobs when the pandemic started. I really turned a corner when I found the right person to help me redo my resume and do some interview coaching (Angee Linsey- linseycareers.com). Now, I work for an amazing comoany and make 25% more than I did at my old job and annual bonuses. My signing bonus nearly made up for time of lost wages.

    It's hard to do but there are ways to find joy and you have to scrap and dig to find them . Hang in there!

37. AnonymousAugust 18,2022 at 9:58PM UTC

    I hear you and have had the same experience. It’s demoralizing, but force yourself to keep searching, unless you can afford not to work. Specifically:

    -Keep only 10 years of work on your resume if possible, or eliminate dates. (A friend of mine, early 60s, got a job after *removing all dates* from his resume.)

    -Work with a career coach if possible.

    _____

    **Why Age Discrimination is so widespread:

    It’s *not* you. It’s how U.S. employment laws are structured. Discrimination on the basis of race, gender, ethnicity, religion and sexual orientation are illegal under Title VII of the Civil Rights Act. If companies run afoul of these laws, both compensatory (direct losses, such as back pay) and punitive damages (additional damages to punish and deter future noncompliance) can be levied. Because damages can be substantial, these laws have teeth and lawyers like to take cases on because fees (usually 1/3 to 40% of damages) can be substantial. Hence DEI, and that’s a good thing.

    Unfortunately, federal law on age discrimination (ADEA— the Age Discrimination in Employment Act), allows compensatory damages only: the value of the salary and benefits you would have earned if you had been hired. There are no punitive damages. In addition, there are more loopholes for employers to avoid compliance. Thus, payouts for violations are much smaller under ADEA, lawyers typically do not bring ADEA suits, and companies are considerably less likely to hire those aged 50+. (Exception: federal employees who are protected against ageism under a different law. You also might check to see if you have any protections through the law in your state.)

    To make change: Ask your Senators and Representative in Congress to support legislation adding age discrimination to Title VII of the Civil Rights Act. If everyone aged 40+ united around this cause, we’d be on our way to seeing the law changed.

38. AnonymousAugust 22,2022 at 6:53PM UTC

    Wow - Thanks for this information. I didn't realize the ADEA only provided compensatory damages. That needs to change! Will be sharing this info to others.

39. AnonymousAugust 19,2022 at 9:14AM UTC

    Does your resume and cover letter reflect and identify the scope of the job duties in the job announcement? If both docs are too vague and do not explicitly speak to the very job duties you are applying for, you should update them both. Pay attention to the critical key words in the job announcement and use them and also provide plenty of ex to show that you have the skills and experience based on the duties in the job announcement, they do use software now to filter out applications.

    expand your options in the types of jobs you apply for. Be open to applying to a company of interest where it might not directly offer u the job you specifically want, but might be ancillary to it. Some companies only offer certain types of jobs from within.

    network on linked in. Try this….pick 20 companies you want to work for. Find 20 profiles and try to network with them. As you build a rapport, they may give you intel when jobs drop and likely refer you to a mgr for a job before it even becomes available.

    on linked in, you can also join career groups based on your industry. This is another great way to network. Joining groups normally have mentors who purposely want to help members get linked to the right places in their career. You don’t have to be fresh out of college to have a mentor

    if you focus on all these areas, i am confident u will get what you want within 3 to 6 mths. Don’t get discouraged goodluck

40. Maegan MAugust 22,2022 at 2:13AM UTC

    Hey Anonymous ! I can help you land a job that pays what you are looking for. Here's my consult call link if you are looking for support and we can make a plan for your way forward on the call https://maeganmillercoaching.as.me/consultcall

41. Christi MillerSeptember 7,2022 at 2:45PM UTC

    Have you refreshed your LinkedIn profile? Is the resume tailored to the job you are applying for? I think there is a type of resume that highlights experience rather than chorology. This might help with any age discrimination. Keep hanging in there.