I interviewed for a position and the recruiter liked me a lot, said I was a top-level candidate, and asked how I felt about coming into the office.

Anonymous

June 12,2023 at 2:26AM UTC

Welcome to Fairygodboss!

We’re the largest online career community helping women achieve their career goals. Gain access to articles, jobs, events, and a supportive network of women and allies. Membership is free, always.

I interviewed for a position and the recruiter liked me a lot, said I was a top-level candidate, and asked how I felt about coming into the office. I told her I must work remotely but would be open to coming to the office for special meetings, etc. She said the hiring manager wanted everyone in the office and I told her that would not work for me. She said "he's so impressed with your background that maybe he'll make an exception for you. I'll speak with him and let you know." When she got back to me she set up an interview for me to meet with the hiring manager at 7:30 a.m. I met with the hiring manager and it went well. The recruiter contacted me to let me know that the hiring manager was impressed with me but that if offered the job they would place language in my offer letter that stated that I would need to be on-site for the first 4 months and they "may revisit a hybrid scenario" in the future. I've been asked to come to the office for an in-person interview for the final round. This job would merely be a survival job while I get my company up and running. The job is not my passion and the thought of having to show up in an office every day is depressing. I'm wondering if it's worth even attending the in-person interview. I'm senior-level management and the job absolutely does not require that I be on-site, this is the preference of the hiring manager. Would appreciate your thoughts. Thank you for your time in reading this.

Why women love us:

Daily articles on career topics
Jobs at companies dedicated to hiring more women
Advice and support from an authentic community
Events that help you level up in your career
Free membership, always

78 comments

Share your insight

Join an authentic community that helps women support each other at work. Share your professional experience or ask for advice — you can even post anonymously.

78 Comments

Join the conversation

Rachel ScaerJune 12,2023 at 3:08AM UTC
I would go to the interview, and just see if you can negotiate the time in the office before signing the offer letter. I was in similar situation, and the interview went so well they offered me a hybrid job with 2 days in office, and 3 remote. Now I only wfh which is great. I strongly recommend negotiating and seeing if they're ok with you being in the office only part time. They will see this as you being a team player and will appreciate the effort you're putting in. If they end up wanting someone 100% on-site you can always reject the offer and keep looking.
AnonymousJune 12,2023 at 11:28PM UTC
I'm not open to hybrid. I don't want to waste their time by taking a position with the hopes that it will be remote.
AnonymousJune 12,2023 at 12:43PM UTC
I was in the same situation and declined the interview.
AnonymousJune 12,2023 at 12:46PM UTC
There is the slightest possibility that you could change his mind in person on an interview however, your focus is on your start up business hence, is it worth making demands for a short term job bandaid when someone elses passion and committed long term would be a better fit?
Lisa MarieJune 13,2023 at 12:29PM UTC
Exactly what I said. She needs to leave this opportunity for someone else who needs the job long term.
Kate WadeJune 12,2023 at 1:09PM UTC
Trust yourself.
AnonymousJune 12,2023 at 2:13PM UTC
If you are not flexible about being in the office, then I would cancel the interview. Don't waste anyone's time.
Lisa MarieJune 13,2023 at 12:28PM UTC
Exactly. The OP needs to stop wasting both hers and their time, and focus on finding a job that fits her requirements.
KatJune 12,2023 at 3:24PM UTC
It's clear this job is not a good fit for you. You want remote, they want in person. I don't buy the "we'll think about after you've been here four months" thing-that's just to string you along. You're not that interested in the job or the company, so I doubt you'd last long even if you took it. Keep looking for a temp job that is less demanding and more flexible so you can keep your focus on getting your company going.
AnonymousJune 12,2023 at 5:53PM UTC
Definitely interview for the final round. Use this to your advantage. Remember, you are checking them out as well. If there is an offer, and you absolutely want remote or hybrid, use that in your negotiating power. If they agree, then you have the verbiage in your offer letter/agreement. In fact, if there's a "do you have any questions for us", inquire. Tell them you're very interested in the position, the company, etc. Do not mention it's a gap filler for your future company. Let them know you are accustomed to WFH and perform better. This is not an end all be all. But do not go for the maybes that they will consider it. If this is the case as mentioned, and you receive an offer, move on. But give them a chance to at least talk with you and allowing you to ask questions. Hope this helps some.
AnonymousJune 12,2023 at 11:32PM UTC
Why was the interview so early? I'm bothered at the lack of respect and insensitivity about scheduling an interview at 7:30 in the morning. I also see a problem with the suggested vague language should there be an offer AND the expectation that you come for the final round in person. This screams control freak, micro manager! No way are they going to agree to you working remotely. Cancel the interview.
AnonymousJune 13,2023 at 12:15PM UTC
There are definitely red flags, but an early morning appointment could also be accommodating a candidate who doesn’t want to take time out of their own workday for interviews.
AnonymousJune 13,2023 at 1:36PM UTC
Unpopular opinion here, but I would love a 7:30 am interview. I could go to the interview before work and not have to use any PTO. I don't view it as control freak / micro manager, I view it as someone who values my time and appreciates my work ethic not to schedule interviews during my current business hours.
AnonymousJune 13,2023 at 1:13AM UTC
why not? companies do it to people all the time. this isn't 1995. how many people saw their loyalty repaid during covid? I sure as hell did not after working at my company for years!! it's the same logic that employers use when they use "other duties as assigned" and you find the actual job is nothing like the description. never been bait and switched? must be nice!!
AnonymousJune 13,2023 at 11:08AM UTC
very sad and dangerous mindset to have.
Ally MorganJune 13,2023 at 12:13PM UTC
Do not accept this job without "fully remote" being listed in your offer or contract. Period.
EmpoweredGirl843906June 13,2023 at 12:25PM UTC
you won’t work remotely- forget it.
Lisa MarieJune 13,2023 at 12:25PM UTC
Please do not waste their time any further. You know it is not what you need/are comfortable with, and you'll be back here in 3 months feeling miserable.
Why do that to yoursel?
Most important, leave that opportunity for someone else who really needs the job, who doesn't have a problem being in the office, someone who doesn't already have plans to leave the company.
I does cost money to find and orient new employees, so you really will be using this company's resources unnecessarily.
BethBJune 13,2023 at 12:30PM UTC
Why is this even a question? It’s not a situation you want. Why waste your time or theirs?
Amanda HaydenJune 13,2023 at 12:34PM UTC
I would likely decline, I've been told a job is hybrid, it was full time on-site and they denied it was ever marketed or offered as hybrid. I would decline in writing so the recruiter and hiring manager are both receiving the same information. Something to the effect of:
"I appreciate the offer, however, from the initial interview, I was upfront in needing to work remotely. Working on-site for 4 months without no guarantee to transition to hybrid does not align with my needs so I am respectfully withdrawing my resume from consideration. I wish you the best of luck in your search, thank you for your time."
Carolina Perez SanzJune 13,2023 at 12:37PM UTC
if you’re planning to set up your company, I’d say, focus on that and don’t go after “survival jobs” that aren’t compatible with working on your dream. I wouldn’t even go to the in-person interview.
Good luck!
Joycelyn M. SiameJune 13,2023 at 12:43PM UTC
Nope, don't do it. Your intuition is saying enough, as is. Obviously you are a great candidate. You expressed your desire to be remote, so I agree with Ally Morgan. Stick to your guns.
AnonymousJune 13,2023 at 12:59PM UTC
I couldn’t disagree with this more. There’s no reason to require this role be in-person other than a desire for control from management. If you’re able, turn this one down and look for someplace with a less retrograde mindset.
Shelly EdwardsJune 13,2023 at 1:01PM UTC
If you want a remote position and they are looking for in person then this clearly isn’t the job for you. I would not continue wasting your time or theirs in a job that ultimately won’t meet your needs or their needs. Let the recruiter know that you are not interested in working in the office and therefore you are going to respectfully withdraw from consideration. I’m curious though how the job was advertised. If it wasn’t advertised as remote and you are set on remote work, why did you apply?
AnonymousJune 15,2023 at 5:42AM UTC
It was advertised as remote
GirlBossanova934974June 13,2023 at 1:03PM UTC
I agree with several of the other posters here. Without a remote assignment, you are not interested. So the wise choice is to end the conversation now and say you are not interested. You never know if this same employer might be interested in you for another position that is remote. You don't want to leave any bad feelings with anyone going forward.
Maggie StoneJune 13,2023 at 1:08PM UTC
Based on your post you have answered your own question. In person will not work for you and this job is not your passion. Let it go to someone who is excited about it.
AnonymousJune 13,2023 at 1:25PM UTC
I agree you should pass. In fact, wasting the company’s time and money to train you just to have you leave doesn’t seem ethical to me.
AnonymousJune 13,2023 at 1:28PM UTC
I'm not sure why this is even an issue. By your own admission, this is not a job you are passionate about, it's temporary while you set up your own business and does not meet your requirement for remote work. Thank them for their time and don't put any of your time into pursuing a position that doesn't align with your work requirements. Trying to make them adjust this job into what you want it to be will only end in disappointment on both sides.
Afo Ogbeyalu KaluJune 13,2023 at 1:36PM UTC
Send a thoughtful and respectful decline letter, thanking the leadership for the opportunity to present your candidacy, but that as you have more knowledge about the role and requirements, that you realize that the position as described, is not aligned with your career goals. Add that if a remote position becomes available, you would like to be considered for a position with the organization.
AnonymousJune 14,2023 at 12:17PM UTC
Love this response! This is the best way to go.
Emily PhelanJune 13,2023 at 1:49PM UTC
You made it clear from the get-go that you required a remote position. They are ignoring that and trying to drag you into the office, while dangling bait that they "may revisit a hybrid scenario", meaning they likely won't. And you didn't indicate you were available for hybrid work anyway. They want you and your skill set, but they aren't willing to negotiate on this. I would respectfully decline the interview and move on. So many of us can do our jobs remotely, and did for over 2 years, but the powers that be want to see butts in seats in the buildings they are leasing. It's a kick in the pants. We all successfully kept their businesses going during a global pandemic, but suddenly, we aren't as productive in a remote setting. It really frosts my cookies! Haha!
AnonymousJune 14,2023 at 12:21PM UTC
Frosts your cookies! LOL I love that.
But it's true. After over 3 years and basically indicating they were ok with people working from home, my workplace suddenly tried to drag us back into the office. There's been a lot of pushback and my manager and the director of our department both agree I don't need to. But I've had a long tenure here and was able to leverage that, among other things.
It really floors me that there has been a definite uptick in productivity with many people and a lot of studies show people are happier, but goshdarnit, let's make sure they're all MISERABLE again!
lilahgaelJune 13,2023 at 2:02PM UTC
Thank them for the opportunity to interview but declined the next interview and the position - stating that you are looking for a remote position.
Krystin MorganJune 13,2023 at 4:56PM UTC
If you're sure you aren't interested in an onsite job, it doesn't make sense to take up the time and energy to go to the interview. You want remote, they want fully onsite, so it's clearly a mismatch.
AnonymousJune 13,2023 at 5:00PM UTC
No, don't if you truly are not interested and really refuse to go into an office walk away. Don't take the job and kill it for someone else who really needs work in this tough economy, find something that is 100% what you are looking for and let the role go to someone who truly wants it. You just don't get to pick where the job should physically be that is on the company to decide so if you can't live with it don't, best also not to burn the bridge as it could ripple effect later on. There was a time when remote was non-existent and this would not even be a thing. Good luck in your search.
AnonymousJune 13,2023 at 6:24PM UTC
Don't waste your time (and theirs, and the other candidates') if you know you're not going to accept the job or if you'll only do so begrudgingly and then leave ASAP. The hiring manager preference will prevail. The position just isn't a good fit, thank them for their time, and keep looking.
AnonymousJune 13,2023 at 10:26PM UTC
I don’t think it’s worth your time. They will for sure retract their offer for remote work. This will end up hurting your business as well.
AnonymousJune 14,2023 at 12:08AM UTC
You already know the answer. Unless they've clearly stated otherwise or include in your employment contract, I'd assume they're hoping you get over it.
Joan Williams, Senior Talent Acquisition SpecialistJune 14,2023 at 2:19AM UTC
YOU SAID: "the job absolutely does not require that I be on-site, this is the preference of the hiring manager. "
I know what you mean by your comment but beg to differ.
The hiring manager sets the parameters for their positions. If the hiring manager requires the position must be on-site, then typically, the position must be on-site. I suppose it could happen, but in my experience if the hiring manager was inclined to wiggle on that, they'd already be doing it. I've never had one fall so in love with a candidate that they made an exception.
They've already told you no on remote, the best case scenario here could be hybrid but based on that wording, I wouldn't hold my breath.
AnonymousJune 14,2023 at 10:24AM UTC
Don't take a job you aren't interested in.
It wastes the trainer's time, HR time, yours, those that are preparing interviews only to be told "no"....
Pandemic is over. Time to return to the office, whether we want to or not. (I doubt your manager wants to be there anymore than you do)
AnonymousJune 14,2023 at 12:15PM UTC
I know it's a tough job market but you really should pass on this job. You're setting yourself up for a lot of drama that you're not going to win. Even if they put something in your contract language, they can easily back away from it by saying "changing business needs." Great opportunity, wrong role.
AnonymousJune 14,2023 at 12:24PM UTC
Agreed!! Or they can say "it's Tuesday and we don't need you". Employers can say anything they want--
AnonymousJune 14,2023 at 12:22PM UTC
I would pass. You don't want to go into the office. By all accounts you'd be miserable. That's not good for either you OR the company.
Did they indicate the position might be remote but then are walking back on that? I'd apply for jobs that only list fully remote (or are up front about how hybrid they are).
April Donnell-SurgantJune 14,2023 at 12:25PM UTC
As a hiring manager, we set the shift or location up based off of the spot we are looking to fill. If the hm is trying to drive their entire team back into the office for a company initiative, they are going to only offer to new hires that can reinforce that. The same thing goes for opening a new shift that nobody wants. We would hire specifically for that time slot in the posting.
Is it possible to offer someone a full remote or different shift? Yes, but it would be going against the current business plan. This is extremely unlikely unless they are really desperate for people...which asks a different question. Hope that helps!
AnonymousJune 14,2023 at 12:26PM UTC
Pass
MaureenJune 14,2023 at 12:28PM UTC
I would also pass on the in person interview. I worked in an office for four months for a job that I thought was fully remote. I finally did contact HR and am now fully remote but there was a lot of drama and traveling. Good luck. You will find something!
Nancey ChambersJune 14,2023 at 12:31PM UTC
Sounds like you've already made your mind up about it. If you don't need this job and you won't be happy, don't take it.
Lisa MalkewiczJune 14,2023 at 12:48PM UTC
Find something else.
AnonymousJune 14,2023 at 12:51PM UTC
A survival job? The real question is, where you as honest during the interview process as you were in your question? At anytime in your interview did you tell them that this was just temporary for you and that your aspirations were to leave in a few months to start your own business? Honestly, stop wasting a company's time. There is a heck of alot of effort, time, resources and financial means invested in hiring staff of that caliber. Based on your question you have been, at the least, partially dishonest in your intentions. That is just not cool at all.
AnonymousJune 14,2023 at 12:54PM UTC
Are all jobs not survival jobs?
Jobs treat employees as if they’re replaceable. Why are employees not allowed to do the same?
AnonymousJune 14,2023 at 10:35PM UTC
I think when a person feels that all jobs mistreat them then eventually the issue winds up being more the person and not the manager. The marketplace is filled with great companies hiring, training, growing a plethora of successful and happy employees; there are way more doing this then there are that aren't.
AnonymousJune 15,2023 at 5:38AM UTC
You sound ridiculous....no one reveals in an interview their true motivations for taking the job whether its a survival job, a temporary pit stop
AnonymousJune 14,2023 at 12:58PM UTC
If this affects your health (putting you in depressive state), I would not take the job. Nothing is worth your health.
RaeJune 14,2023 at 1:00PM UTC
Don't do it... All they want you in there for is to micro manage that's it!. I could see if you were in office for training for at the most a couple months if that but I wouldnt. Some of these in office jobs are ridiculous and the only reason they need anyone in office now is the real estate market. BUT... YOU do need to survive so survive in all aspects until you can cut them loose.
froerden@yahoo.comJune 14,2023 at 1:41PM UTC
You say “micromanage”. Businesses just call it managing their employees and processes. Until you own the company, you will be managed.
AnonymousJune 14,2023 at 6:03PM UTC
Having dealt with both good managers and micromanagers, there is definitely a difference. Some people and some companies definitely micromanage their employees and if you don't recognize the difference, there may be an issue there.
RaeJune 20,2023 at 1:57PM UTC
Adults don't need managing the work does.
AnonymousJune 14,2023 at 1:00PM UTC
I believe it is up to them if they want to build the team around the office or not. It is fair. I do get your point although I have been there in the past and was also requested to join the office for the first month's so that you build some team spirit too.
Maybe, you should be honest and true to yourself. If you are planning on leaving them in a couple months, it may not be worth it. Meanwhile, if you need the money, show up. It's part of the work. Nevertheless, congratulations!
Desiree WolfeJune 14,2023 at 1:22PM UTC
It sounds like you already know the answer. If you’re just looking to make ends meet while you’re building your business this doesn’t sound like the right opportunity. This sounds like it will delay your efforts, honestly.
Amy GeffenJune 14,2023 at 1:24PM UTC
This is not worth your time, energy and emotional health. Go to a temp agency and find another short term assignment while you do your thing.
Sabine MorrowJune 14,2023 at 1:29PM UTC
This is a slippery slope. There are jobs listed as remote, you specify through he process that you are interested in remote only and then months into it you are asked if you can come into the office one day or two a week and face time might be a good thing. Remote means remote and there is plenty of face time on zoom calls.
AnonymousJune 14,2023 at 1:50PM UTC
Move along, If you truly do not want to work in the office don't waste your time or theirs. There are plenty work from home jobs out there now. Best of luck finding the job that works best for you.
AnonymousJune 14,2023 at 1:52PM UTC
Lol, ok boomer.
It's literally called evolving and adapting. While some roles require physical presence (service industry, etc), many jobs can be done remotely. What's the difference between joining a virtual call from home versus joining a virtual call from the office? I'll clue you in - one requires wasting time commuting along with wasting time with small talk.
Just say you have an issue trusting your employees and that you're a classic micro-manager. :)
AnonymousJune 14,2023 at 2:19PM UTC
While the job may be able to be done remotely, the requirement of going into the office for the first 4 months is not unreasonable as you get to know company culture, expectations, the team, etc. While the full scope of the role may be able to be done remotely, the company may have good reason for the request of onsite and in no way is it micromanaging.
However, if this is only a temporary position for you until you get your company up and running, then you are doing a disservice to the company by wasting their resources of recruitment expenses, on-boarding, and training for the new role. There is a significant investment in hiring someone, think about your own company and I'm sure would not want someone to waste those resources for a 4 month stint.
AnonymousJune 14,2023 at 10:03PM UTC
Well said! I completely agree. Additionally they are taking an opportunity away from someone who would be committed to the company and the role for the long term.
Megan JordanJune 15,2023 at 4:10PM UTC
Wasting company resources isn't her problem tho...the company would drop her in a minute if they had to - there's no talk of loyalty on either side here.
Ann MillerJune 14,2023 at 2:47PM UTC
The job will suck the life out of you. If you dread On-Site that much you will be miserable everyday. I am in the same situation, except I am not opening my own business. I need a survival job but remote! I guess if nothing else, go to the interview as the saying goes always good practice. if they offer you the job, tell them u need to work remote. To me the resistance to do that means the manager or company is NOT flexible.
Regina BrownJune 14,2023 at 3:01PM UTC
The words "may revisit a hybrid scenario" in the future send me a red flag. These words mean nothing is definite and they have the power to rescind this "offer".
You may want to check to see if someone has short term job offerings.
Do what you need to do until your business is up and going. I have not doubt that you will succeed...don't sell yourself short, Girl!!
Lisa GreenbergJune 14,2023 at 3:48PM UTC
I'm honestly very surprised by the number of people who suggest that it is inappropriate for the OP to "waste the time of the company and possibly deprive another candidate of a job." Anytime someone takes a job they may not end up staying, for a variety of reasons. They may move, get a better offer, go back to school, etc. Some employees may not pass their probationary period. I wouldn't worry about the company; this happens everyday, and they wouldn't hesitate to let you go at any time. As for other candidates, well, you need to earn money too. Not every job needs to be a long-term commitment. In face, most workers today wouldn't even consider that. Do what you feel is best. If the in office work is a deal breaker, I wouldn't take the process any further. Good luck!
AnonymousJune 15,2023 at 3:37PM UTC
Most employees don't go into the job already knowing they will leave in 4 months time. Most plan to stay there so it is taking a job away from someone else. All those situations you motioned were not already planned out.
AnonymousJune 14,2023 at 4:12PM UTC
Teleworking has been around since the 1980s.
AnonymousJune 15,2023 at 6:02AM UTC
I think because you mentioned that this is a "survival job", it would be worth you adapting for those 4 months while you set yourself up. You would be surprised at just how much you will learn about yourself and even what can add value into your company.
However, having said that, accept that the hybrid situation won't ever be re-visited. They are only saying that so that you can come in. I am stuck in a firm that promised hybrid, but everytime I bring up work-from-home its as if I'm being offensive. Watch out for such red flags.
You need to get in with your motive of getting your company on its feet - NOTHING more. You won't change their hybrid-working policies, they wont see the value, etc. But do what you need to to survive, then get out.
AnonymousJune 15,2023 at 7:40PM UTC
Well said
AnonymousJune 15,2023 at 1:30PM UTC
Short version: don't take the job. Like you said, it's a 'survival job' and going in so often is going to be depressing for you. Don't put yourself into a situation where you're not 100% up for it.
Catrina DomaikaJune 16,2023 at 2:56AM UTC
I know the market right now and depends on if you're currently working. It does matter to them, if not working survive if you need it. Get your foot in door and prove your resume worth. They will reward those who are already trained with exceptions to their normal rule. You have to remember if they hire you at full time remote, they also have to offer that to their current employees. I would give it a go
Vikas VermaJune 16,2023 at 3:41AM UTC
Before it becomes an emotional game, look at it as a classic example of negotiation skills case study. If you believe in options in the business world,(my trainer told me once), then optimize your search engine to work from home options. So that right jobs fall in your inbox. That way you can filter out frurstrating & exploitative experiences like this one away.
2ndly, as in negotiation, put your terms across as if you have other better options (that's where BATNA comes in). But then ensure you have other offers to go to. Check if your BATNA (Best Alternative to a negotiated agreement), is powerful than this current job offer. If it is, then please walk out of this cycle, & avoid investment wastage. Take it with a pinch of salt, that, Jobs are always negotiations. Whether you are genuinely an asset or not, they are just not interested in it. They have a checklist. So should you. The other party just can't convince themselves that you are a human being and that you have human needs. Logically they are failing to convince you that why you are requied to be in office. Most organizations do what others do. That's how disorder spreads and creativity gets murdered. If they can play hard ball, you can too.
AmyJune 16,2023 at 6:05PM UTC
As a recruiter, this sounds to me like a scenario where they'll just keep moving the goal. I wonder if the job was listed as remote or hybrid versus onsite to attract candidates, only for you to have been told that the manager wanted onsite in that discovery call with the recruiter. You've already been told twice that they may accommodate your needs, only for them to move the goal line ("just talk to the manager", "maybe we can do hybrid after 4 months"). They aren't respecting your needs as a candidate, which is when everyone is on their best behavior. They're telling you who they are and showing you that they're inflexible. Believe them.