My Officemate Keeps Complaining About Our Boss

18 Comments

1. Looking for a changeJune 12,2025 at 11:31AM UTC

   This is a tough one. I think everyone complains at some point. You can try to change the subject, or say something like I just do what I’m told or just try not to engage if possible.

2. AnonymousJune 12,2025 at 12:13PM UTC

   You could ask more questions to figure out excatly what she doesn't like, I know you said her management style- but what about it doesn't she like? That will help to go forward to see the specific so you may be able to give her ideas to help

3. AnonymousJune 12,2025 at 3:51PM UTC

   I never approach a colleague with direction or observations unless it's my direct report. Then I will discuss and provide direction.

   If you are experiencing stress (not the Team but you personally) then I would find a way to approach this person's supervisor with a request it be addressed.

4. AnonymousJune 12,2025 at 7:05PM UTC

   We had this situation in my current place of employment, and what's interesting is that eventually that person left for all the wrong reasons. I stayed out of it, I definitely think that that's best. Tried to change the subject, continue to be as professional as possible. And what's interesting is that the same boss she used to complain about, I have had great experiences with. In terms of work life balance, better opportunities, etc. What I find interesting is that this person seem to show a lack of respect for him as her leader, and that was her downfall. Showing respect to leadership, no matter whether you think their decisions are right or not, is best unless there's something nefarious going on, and that's a different scenario. And things definitely changed for the better once they left (much more positive environment, etc.).

5. Darenda CarterJune 13,2025 at 12:17PM UTC

   I would tell them if there is an issue to talk to the boss and if they don’t feel that works then go to the higher ups. Now, it could be that they aren’t doing what they are supposed to be doing which is causing the boss to reprimand them more often and that is why they have so many complaints.

6. AnonymousJune 13,2025 at 12:27PM UTC

   I have had similar situations before, and generally what I have done is tell the person that the boss and I have not had issues, so since there is nothing I can do about it, I would appreciate they keep the negative talk out of the conversation so we can focus on the job we do. If the boss is approachable, suggest that the person speak with them one-on-one. This approach does three things. First, knowing that you and the boss have a positive relationship lets her know that there are others with different experiences. Second, giving her a suggestion on approach is also letting her know that there is a way to improve her standing with the boss, and third, you have no time for negative thoughts.

7. AnonymousJune 13,2025 at 12:54PM UTC

   I had the same experience a couple years ago but via Teams, not in the same office. It was a company in decline and the peer with 20+ yrs at the company would call me to complain constantly. I was less than one year in and went along with it mainly because our manager was somewhat incompetent. In the end, my peer used these conversations to her advantage and both myself and our manager were gone. Moral of the story, be careful. I would distance yourself from the officemate. Wear headphones if you can or be 'on the phone' more often if you share a small space.

8. AnonymousJune 13,2025 at 1:00PM UTC

   I have an employee who does this and complains about me right now. It's been going on for months and their coworkers' have learned to just walk away and keep busy.

   They've gone to HR and that doesn't seem to do much. Instead, it just amps the employees complaints. I've had talks with them as well. It's always my fault in this one employee's mind, even when they are in the wrong. Some people just like to complain. It makes them feel heard.

   I'd suggest if you are uncomfortable, to keep telling HR until they do something about it. Hopefully yours does a better job than mine.

9. AnonymousJune 17,2025 at 12:55PM UTC

   I had a HORRIBLE boss last year and her abuse became so over-the-top that I had to go to HR (as much as I was scared to go, the abuse outweighed that fear). It turns out that I had voiced what everyone else already felt. Also had an office-mate who would complain about her to ME but then pretend to be boss' "bestie" - even joining in with her to mock me, gaslight, and bully me (this is why there is NEVER a good scenario in which a boss is "besties" with any of their subordinates); having to deal with that only compounded the toxicity. Office-mate seldom had any accountability for her role in this. So, in this case...NOT complaining wouldn't have helped the morale. We currently have an interim director (and I guess a permanent one in the future if that ever happens here - 5 directors in 3 years) and I am hoping that I never have to deal with ANY of that energy here again.

10. Stevie SkaggsJune 13,2025 at 3:28PM UTC

    When someone complains about their boss, it is sometimes easy to redirect the conversation by saying something you don't like in the work environment, like how the break room smells. Then try to direct the conversation to something you love about the job.

    This isn't always a solution. However, it has worked for me many times.

11. AnonymousJune 13,2025 at 8:18PM UTC

    Just tell your officemate, you know, I understand you are feeling some kind of way but I really can't help you with that. Let's just discuss the good we do and how to improve what we do. Or say, you know, I'm not really qualified with that, but maybe you should see someone in HR who can help you.

12. AnonymousJune 16,2025 at 8:13PM UTC

    "I hear you, but honestly, criticizing our boss like this makes me kind of uncomfortable. I'm glad you were comfortable being open with me, but I think I'm not the only one who would prefer not to talk about this. Have you tried talking to [boss] directly?" If they keep bothering you with this, I'd snitch, honestly.

13. AnonymousJune 17,2025 at 9:42PM UTC

    I set a quiet boundary is the best. Sends out empathy but keeping your sanity such as "I totally get it’s frustrating sometimes, but I’ve been trying to keep things positive and we have job to finish".

14. AnonymousJune 18,2025 at 12:35PM UTC

    My only advice is to document everything on a non-company related resource and start practicing walking away, either physically or from the conversation. There are some people who just want to be seen as the victim all the time. You can't change them, fix the situation so they stop or give them any amount of attention that will be enough. All you can do is protect yourself and your job.

15. Wanda ShawJune 18,2025 at 12:47PM UTC

    Try as hard as you can to steer clear of the negativity and not let it impact you personally. See it or them coming your way, be intentional in shutting it down and go about doing your work. To silence a person like this is to not give them the attention they crave.

16. Milissa JacobsJune 18,2025 at 1:57PM UTC

    If you have the type of relationship where you can speak freely, ask them what they hope to accomplish. Tell them that their constant negativity is unhelpful. What solution would they offer? Explain that if they don't have a solution, the negativity is tiring.

17. AnonymousJune 18,2025 at 2:02PM UTC

    I'm pretty blunt - I have told people before that compain all the time that maybe they should look for another job because lifes too short to be miserable at work.

18. Lilye Stallworth ChaffinJune 18,2025 at 4:28PM UTC

    I was in this situation many years ago and another’s coworker got tired of the complaints behind the boss’s back. The next staff meeting the other coworker mentioned that the complainer had a comment in front of everyone. They never complained again.