Okay I need some advice, maybe I am not seeing all the different angles here..

Anonymous

October 11,2022 at 3:34PM UTC

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Okay I need some advice, maybe I am not seeing all the different angles here..

I took a new job 30 days ago, and the onboarding has been non-existent and I'm feeling like this isn't the right fit for me. I've had a few red flags since starting and it feels like the cons are outweighing the pros now and I should maybe begin looking for something else but I'd love some outside advice/perspective.

A few days before I came on the one person in the entire company set to train me went on emergency medical leave and I've been left to sit. She has now extended her leave another 30 days, no idea if she will even return.

So I was going along with what my VP put on my 30/60/90 - or at least what I could trudge ahead with on my own given the lack of someone here to show me around our systems.. I get a call on Friday from my boss and our VP. They asked me why I haven't jumped into the system (apparently there had been complaints 'I'm not doing anything') and am not taking on project work. I was completely taken back, first off they know there is no one here to train me and second that isn't anywhere on the 30/60/90 day plan they gave me when I started so I was just shocked that this was expected.

They basically said "well its on the job description that you would be taking on these responsibilities" and now I'm just lost. I realized at that moment I had never seen this job description (I know, its terrible). I was recruited and I never got an actual description (live and learn, big mistake on my part). Now here we are.

Next, I have these two direct reports who are literal nightmares, they expect me to take on their extra work as well and have been very vocal that I should be. If I do or say something they don't agree with - they run to the VP and twist my words or complain about me (3x in 30 days I guess I've put my foot in my mouth, and let me be clear I'm not perfect but good lord). Now my boss and VP are saying 'well you can't do the other stuff so pick up this work' that would be fine but that was NOT suppose to be my role and feels very much in the wrong direction of my career.

I worry I'm setting myself up for failure here. If I don't take on the extra work that my direct reports are pushing on me - I'm looking like a jerk but it wasn't the role I signed up for, and isn't where I should be at this point in my career (I have 13+ years exp - I haven't built an email in at least the last 6 years since I became a manager). I want to believe maybe this extra lot is temporary but there is no end in sight for if this other manager comes back, what happens if she doesn't and it feels like I'm just being placed and have no recourse but to just quit.

I talked to HR and I did already discuss if I don't think this is working for me (ie this role, working with this team) what options I may have for finding a new position within the organization. I want to make the right moves in my career, I don't want to work with a team who doesn't respect my years of experience or me frankly and I am just feeling very lost and alone feeling like I made the entire wrong decision in taking this job (and my boss/VP are just not interested in my development or growth at all). I want to believe this role would make someone else with less experience MUCH happier and there is a role out there better suited for where I am at. I don't know. I have been in literal tears every day for the last few days (in tears as I write this now) and my mental health and physical health is really taking a toll given all of this. I appreciate if maybe I'm not seeing some silver lining in all of this, or maybe getting validation I need to move on and find something else. Perhaps there is a 3rd option I'm just not seeing. Thanks ladies. I appreciate it.

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AnonymousOctober 11,2022 at 7:25PM UTC
I think you need to have a sit down with the VP/boss and maybe have HR in the room to document, where you go thru the job description. So you are all on the same page about what you are supposed to be doing and you can find out who you need to talk to to get access to the systems from.
Not defending them, but they might have assumed you would be a bit more proactive about finding other avenues to get training and access to the systems. Requesting this meeting would show that proactiveness.
In regards to the people you manage, once you've talked to the boss/VP about your job description bring up the stuff that has been going on there. If their work is not in the agreed upon description, then you shouldn't be expected to do it. Yes, you can be a team player and help, but if the boss/VP is going to hold you to the job description, two can play that game. If the people that report to you are overworked, that sounds like a resources issue, but you haven't really been there long enough to have the opportunity to assess that.
Lastly, talk to the boss/VP about having your back. Might be good to start developing the relationships with the boss/VP like coffee dates or lunches so that the trust is built. They should not be allowing the people you manage to circumvent the chain of command. Sure, they can report issues, but the boss/VP should be holding off siding with them until they hear your side.
It's also important to remember that the first few months of a new job are not usually easy, so be easy on yourself. Change is hard and it can suck a lot of the time. You applied to this job and went thru the interview process for a reason. If you think you will feel guilty not fighting to make this work, then fight. Take control of the situation and ask for what you need, the worst they will say is no. If you don't think you will feel guilty, then maybe there is a different group you can get transferred to.
I hope some of this helps. Whatever you decide, good luck!
AnonymousNovember 1,2022 at 3:25PM UTC
It sounds like you have definitely landed in the wrong spot. So the silver lining is basically the paycheck. On the emotional side of things, you are having a perfectly normal reaction to the total nonsense that's going on around you. Your VP should be redirecting your subordinates to you, but it doesn't sound like that's happening, nor is your VP supporting you. You are on the sink or swim program, apparently, in a nebulous pond. The next move they'll make is once you learn what to do, they'll change it and say you did it wrong, we do it this way now, because they don't have anything down. Lace up your running shoes. I believe in you - get yourself to a better place physically, mentally, environmentally. I believe in you. Wish you good luck in making the great changes you need to make for yourself.
Rosa GoesNovember 1,2022 at 3:52PM UTC
I'm sorry to hear your going through this. You need to give them an ultimatum or move on. Tell them 'the person who was going to train me is on medical leave so someone else needs to be assigned to train me'. Even if they know, tell them anyway. If they can't or won't find someone, tell them 'without the proper training this job is not going to work out'. When you interview with prospective employers, be honest. You have a valid reason for leaving, it's not your fault they didn't give you the resources. Good luck to you!