How do I successfully get along with a boss who promotes gossip

8 Comments

1. AnonymousSeptember 14,2024 at 11:16AM UTC

   You don't engage. Walk away.

2. AnonymousSeptember 14,2024 at 12:15PM UTC

   Walk away. If you’re trapped say in their office by yourself, just say oh well I don’t have anything to offer on that. Or I’m not comfortable talking about my peers. Or like I’ve done, I’ve said well I’d like to stay on topic if we can.

3. AnonymousSeptember 14,2024 at 12:27PM UTC

   It depends what you mean by "get along."

   IME bosses who promote gossip like having a clique of flying monkeys who go along to get along. That means engaging in gossip.

   If you don't want to engage in gossip, you have to neutralize it or, as already suggested, walk away. Gossip often involves inference, so you can act like you don't know what the gossiper is hinting at. That makes it easy to redirect the conversation.

   Redirect the conversation if you can tell it's leading towards gossip - Boss: "That Jo is a real character...", You: "I know. They're so nice any time I ask for help." (Gossips are often also bullies who like to target people they perceive as weak.)

   Redirect with empathy - Boss: "Jo's looking rough today!", You: "I hope they're alright. It seems like a bug is going around."

4. Sandra SwearingenSeptember 14,2024 at 1:20PM UTC

   Listen but don’t repeat. Don’t confide in them or you will be the next gossiped about Keep your head down and under her radar. Good luck.

5. AnonymousSeptember 14,2024 at 2:21PM UTC

   I’ve noticed it’s hard- depends on their personality. My advice is to stay true to who you are and don’t engage. In all honesty it may not be sustainable if they take personal offense to it. if they can appreciate your work without taking your disinterest in gossip personally you may be able to successfully work together. But if they at anytime use this to indicate that their is an interpersonal conflict between you, you may want to make sure they don’t have any direct management authority over you.

6. AnonymousSeptember 14,2024 at 4:05PM UTC

   You can choose to co-exist with the manager, but you'd do well to steer clear of their shenanigans. Simply, do your job and do it well. That way you won't have to worry about being the subject of one of the gossip sessions. Best wishes.

7. AnonymousSeptember 15,2024 at 12:54PM UTC

   You don’t

8. AnonymousSeptember 16,2024 at 2:16PM UTC

   Look up the term "grey-rocking" - it might help you (link below is to get you started). Also, be very careful what you say to them - even about mundane things. And maybe start looking for a new job. I learned these strategies myself (the hard way, of course, lol), but I think they work pretty well.

   https://psychcentral.com/health/grey-rock-method#:~:text=The%20grey%20rock%20method%20is,known%20as%20%E2%80%9Cgrey%20rocking.%E2%80%9D