i just need some advice: Dilemma

Anonymous

June 13,2023 at 5:37PM UTC

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i just need some advice: Dilemma

I’m a single parent and recently I started a job last month after a recruiter placed me, last year I had interviewed for a government job. Today I was told I would be receiving a job offer. Generally government pays better than private; has a lot more perks. However, the government post is in a different city meaning I’d have to relocate, find a school for my son, accommodation the whole 9 yards. I have no family in this city and usually I visit this city for holiday so it would be unfamiliar.

i want to accept the offer; however, I want to negotiate my start date is it possible? Do I negotiate with government to start in a few months while I hunt for accommodation from my current location and ask to wait out the year for my son to finish school?There’s a lot of risk.

how do I also approach my current employer who I have been with for just a month and a bit instead of resign out of the blue? Do I speak to her now and tell her that I have this offer and financially it would help me greatly as I have been struggling to just get by on my current salary because of the current economy, inflation and so forth? Do I keep it from her and bide my time. ?? Help ?

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Summer BammesJune 13,2023 at 7:20PM UTC
You can absolutely negotiate with a government employer, but I'm not sure anyone would agree to putting your start date off by a couple of months. In addition to that, since you've only been at your current job for a month, you'll probably want to let them down as soon as possible. Instead of asking for a start date a few months out, I think I would ask if you can start remotely and have the summer to complete your relocation. That will give you the advantage of having a local job to put on any rental applications, and it will you give you access to co-workers who can give you the inside scoop on living in the area.
Christi LopezJune 14,2023 at 1:32PM UTC
Absolutely agree with this. Ask for remote and the summer to relocate. I work for the State of Michigan and our department is still only requiring us to be in the office two days a week. And they're very flexible if people need to be remote full time.
AnonymousJune 13,2023 at 7:28PM UTC
You can negotiate that but be prepared that they will have a deadline for your move, as it should have been expected when you applied to it with expectations of perhaps having to move. I think the ask is too much for what you mentioned to be honest, but see what they say, doesn't hurt. Your salary and the state of the economy won't coincide for consideration. Do what's best for you and your family is always #1.
AnonymousJune 15,2023 at 7:38AM UTC
I applied for the job last year June, interviewed in December. Had no word from them till Monday this week. Expected to start 1 August. Factor in my current notice period is 1 calendar month. I will enquire and negotiate the starting date even if it’s a week later but to give me from the 1st to 6th to actually hunt an apartment and journey there. I will have to leave my son for the month with his grandfather until I can be comfortable. I haven’t accepted yet, I enquired if they would provide a stipend to relocate but it wasn’t indicated in the offer. I clearly stated last year December in the interview I’d need to relocate- I was willing to do that because I was in a toxic and hostile environment and my mental health was taking a beating. I even had to take a 2 week break. Due to their silence my circumstances have since changed in that I got employment in a better environment for my mental health, I also now get to spend more time with my son.the government job I guess is the perks that it comes with.
AnonymousJune 13,2023 at 10:02PM UTC
Negotiate for a relo stipend, most companies max offer these days is $5k.
AnonymousJune 14,2023 at 12:20PM UTC
In "looking back" on my career, and where I am now financially at the age of 68, I am working full time and probably will have to for 10 more years before slowing down (and I've been at the executive level for 30 years). Corporations no longer have pensions and many didn't have a matching 401k.
Government positions have great retirement plans and free healthcare after retirement (you can retire after 20 years of service). The jobs pay well, with plenty of opportunity for advancement. Traditionally, jobs are 9-5 and don't require weekends (there are some exceptions). I have friends who had government jobs, they got to see the country, on tax payers money and relo's were paid for - and they retired in their 40 's or 50's with amazing pensions! Their children saw a varied parts of the county and adapted. So in looking back...I should have applied for a government position, retired in my 40's then could have gone to the corporate sector for a second career - with dual incomes! Something to think about.
Balanced372207June 14,2023 at 12:33PM UTC
Not all 'government' jobs are the same when it comes to the years of service before being able to retire.....HOWEVER, having retired from a job in Pennsylvania state government, I would advise ANYONE who can, to work for the government for the reasons you stated -- pensions, opportunities to travel, etc., etc.
MPJune 16,2023 at 12:28PM UTC
Only govt positions in NY that allow retirement after 20 years are those in law enforcement or some physical job. The rest require age 55+ with at least 10 years but that's not full pension. Full pension is like 30+ years...
Rae WagonerJune 16,2023 at 6:20PM UTC
Agreed. It's the same here in Kentucky - my hubby worked corrections and retired at 20 years of service because his job was classified as Hazardous Duty.
Kristina MartinJune 14,2023 at 12:29PM UTC
Talk to them. They cant offer you things if they do not know you need them.
I workes for state government for over 20 years. The only time we were firm on a start date was when training classes were scheduled. But some people came in latter.
I also moved to a new city. No clue where i wanted to move.
I picked different areas (north, east, west…) and use my hotel points then commuted to work and in the evenings drove around looking at housing. I eneded up renting and i still love the area. Ask co workers about schools and cities.
i also downloaded Meetup and got out and explored the city once i was settled.
i hope this helps.
Rae WagonerJune 14,2023 at 12:47PM UTC
No reason to alert your current employer to anything until you have an offer in writing, signed by both parties. "Today I was told that I would be receiving an offer" does not equate to having a mutually acceptable written offer in hand.
Also, "generally the government pays better than private" may not be the case in your instance. My husband worked corrections for 20 years, and the compensation/benefit/retirement plan that he hired in under had been revised either 4 or 5 times by the time he retired. He still received the benefits package that he hired in under, but newer hires had various other packages that were not as promising long-term.
Best of luck in whatever you decide! Be sure to factor any support system you have in your current location into your decision-making, as you stated you have no family in the new city.
AnonymousJune 14,2023 at 2:47PM UTC
Agreed, I'm wondering where is OP that govt positions are paying MORE? I'm in CA and we've been struggling to get people in the door since the pandemic, and I know I could probably get at least 25% higher salary in the private sector.
MistyJune 14,2023 at 12:52PM UTC
No need to be snarky, M. Belisle!
AnonymousJune 14,2023 at 12:52PM UTC
Likely a typo. No need to be snarky.
AnonymousJune 14,2023 at 12:55PM UTC
If you are relocating, you should be receiving a relocation package along with the job offer. They will help you find housing, schooling, etc.
write all the pros and cons on a piece of paper and then make your decision.
AnonymousJune 15,2023 at 1:14PM UTC
The new job is a government job, many of those don't or legally can't offer relocation expenses. It's usually stated in the initial job posting whether they do or not. And I've never heard of a government agency that helps with housing or other personal things. Maybe I've just looked at the wrong job openings...
AnonymousJune 15,2023 at 2:01PM UTC
For the housing aspect, I would direct new people not to go in certain areas of town or what school districts are better than others, but for the most part you are correct.
Mary PoolJune 14,2023 at 1:12PM UTC
Why would you tell an employer you might take another job until you accept it? What possible benefit is there in doing that? You are telling them you are looking, that you are not committed to the position, you have just lost your value to them. I do not understand why people treat companies like friends who have their best interests at heart. This is a company, not a person, not a personal relationship, a company. They will employ you as long as they need you and let you go when they don’t. That is the nature of the beast.
As far as taking the other position, negotiate. I agree with others; the long-term benefits of working for the government can significantly outweigh the long-term benefits of private employment. However, one of my children works for the state, and their benefits and retirement are not nearly as good as their siblings, who all work for the private sector.
Desiree WolfeJune 14,2023 at 1:30PM UTC
Speaking from personal experience, never resign until you’ve signed an offer letter from the new job.
Since you’ll be relocating I don’t think it’s unreasonable to negotiate your start date.
AnonymousJune 14,2023 at 3:22PM UTC
In what industry does government pay better than private??? Do keep in mind government often has a one year probation period. If you are in any way uncertain about how you will fit in the job, consider that before moving your whole life to a new town.
I should imagine they would work with you on start date since you have to move and find a new place to live. If they won't it's a sign you might not want to work there.
Mary PoolJune 14,2023 at 6:12PM UTC
I can't think of one; but can have better retirement benefits, better (and cheaper) medical benefits, great time-off packages, strict rules on enforcing benefits like family leave, greater worker protections. There is more to a position then today's paycheck, there is planning for the future whether it be the ability to spend time with your family, what happens in the case of serious injury or illness, and what your standard of living will be once you retire.
AnonymousJune 15,2023 at 12:25PM UTC
Government does work with you but like all companies - they need you in place to work on projects so being flexible works both ways. It often takes a year to get an offer which means that you have been vetted and selected at the top rung of applicants which means a lot. They want you so they'll make it work. You mentioned it took this long for you so ask a lot of questions, then make your decision. Be the positive inquisitive person which will go a long way.
AnonymousJune 14,2023 at 8:15PM UTC
Stay where you are until you work out the details for the upcoming role. You don't want to give notice and then find out you end up empty handed with nothing. Speak to the HR/Manager that you would be working for in the new place and let them know what kind of timeline will work for you to uproot your family and make the move. Be sure you have signed your offer letter before you do as if you don't they may feel you are not serious. It doesn't seem like you are attempting to get more money just to shift the date. If they need you sooner perhaps you can work out a remote situation if they need you immediately until you can pack and move.
AnonymousJune 15,2023 at 12:30PM UTC
Most Federal jobs allow up to a 3-6 month start date. It is a different work world from private. Be confident in that.
I would not tell my current boss until two weeks prior to my start date.
Zeecil KimmelJune 15,2023 at 3:47PM UTC
It sounds like you applied for the government position when you were in a completely different situation and you are going to accept the position just because it was offered. I have worked in private industry my entire life in MD where most of my friends work for the government. Every job has advantages and disadvantages - if I were you I would make sure that you want to relocate and rearrange your life for this position. Yes, you may get a pension, yes you will have your 9-5 etc. etc. but that generally will be at the expense of a larger salary and mobility. While my friends in government jobs are happy it is a different mindset (think stability and steady) from private sector (more risk and usually better pay). Do not just take the job because it was offered - make sure it has all the benefits you expect.
Best of luck to you. Having too many good offers is certainly a good place to be.
AnonymousJune 15,2023 at 6:39PM UTC
Thank you. I’m writing a pros and cons list. I was told if I’m willing to live with the cons and deal with. I am taking my time to decide. That’s been my standpoint: to up and relocate for a salary isn’t the way to go. My parents want me to take it but ultimately I’m the decider. My heart and gut says not to take it because of the events leading up to this point. And I wasn’t jumping up to get the offer as I had moved on.
AyianJune 15,2023 at 9:04PM UTC
I would start by asking if a start date can be later and if so, by how much would they be comfortable with. Use that to weigh into your pros and cons. It doesn't hurt to ask if there's room for a later starting date and letting them lead with an initial timeframe or just a flat no, if that's the case.
Mary PoolJune 20,2023 at 3:13PM UTC
Ask yourself why your heart and gut say not to take it. Is it because you are afraid of change? Afraid of being away from your family? Or is there a real reason for concern? It is important to know why the gut and heart are talking. If I were a single parent, I'd lean toward the government job for the security, benefits, and protections. Change is scary. Make sure you are making your decision not out of fear but out of strength.
AmyJune 16,2023 at 6:22PM UTC
So many areas to touch on here!
First, the promise of an offer is not an offer. DO NOT talk to your current employer about this offer and any associated plans.
Second, government jobs have great benefits, but salaries are not as competitive as the private sector. You'll want to factor in COL (cost of living) in the new area, to include state income tax, personal property taxes, and sales tax (some states without income tax have really high sales taxes which will impact your day-to-day - think groceries, etc.).
I saw in a reply to a comment that your heart and gut are telling you not to take the job. Sit with that. Humans are the only mammal on Earth who have "evolved" to ignore their instincts. Those feelings are there for a reason and should be heeded. The reason I say to sit with it is to be sure that the hesitation is coming from instinct and not from a place of fear. It sounds like this move will be scary and will require a lot of time & sacrifice from you and your son. Imagine that not being an issue - would you still be hesitant?
If the gov't job requires relocation, they should have assistance available to you and most will work with you on timeline.