HR Manager is a bad apple

Anonymous

March 27,2023 at 1:59PM UTC

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HR Manager is a bad apple

Hello- I am the recruiting manager for a company (HR and recruiting are separate depts), and I have had some experiences with the HR Manager that showed me she lacked integrity and should not be in that position. I have told the senior executives and for some reason they have not done anything about it.

To cite a few examples - she allowed an employee to come into my office (she was there as a witness) to yell and scream, disrepecting me and didn’t say anything at the time. When I mentioned it to her, coo and general counsel cc’d, she lied and said that it was a conversation and that I should not take things personally. I was livid that this would come from an HR Manager that should be objective and not biased.

Another incident occurred when she lied and said that I called her a name during a dialogue. That absolutely did not happen as I always remain professional at work.

There have been other incidents that reflect negatively on her integrity, and nothing has been done about it.

I believe she has ulterior motives, but it concerns me that someone in that role is allowed to remain in that role. I am not sure what else I can do. Any insights or thoughts would be appreciated.

Thank you.

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AnonymousMarch 27,2023 at 4:20PM UTC
Can you speak with the company Ombudsman? I'd say legal team, but sounds like you've already gone there.
AnonymousMarch 27,2023 at 4:23PM UTC
I'm HR and I'm pro-HR. However, with that said, sounds like you have one of those HRMs that give the rest of us a bad name on your hands. You've been documenting conversations/interactions with her? Do you both report to the same individual? Have you talked to this individual, COO, general counsel, etc. without her present? What is the vibe you are getting from them? Do you feel like they are leaning towards taking her side? Sounds like she is a bully. I know not everyone is going to like this response, but...if you feel like you are getting anywhere with those above her and she isn't going anywhere any time soon, perhaps you should look elsewhere. I can't imagine continuing on in a work situation like that.
AnonymousMarch 27,2023 at 4:48PM UTC
There is little you can do but document the events and send them to the leadership.
Since no one acted on your first reported claim and she has the support of leadership and remains at the company without reprimand, in the future it will rest on her breaking the law in some way to allow you to escalate this to a legal level through an outside attorney.
Perhaps more people will have issue and complain and she will be written up but that's a long shot.
Be very careful that you don't continue to complain about old events since the General Counsel abd Chief Operating Office of the company decided that your complaint did not have merit and did not rise to the level of formal action by the company. You would then open yourself up to being labeled the problem or toxic and risk your job.
If the situation continues you might consider finding a new job. It's too stressful to remain there.
AnonymousMarch 27,2023 at 7:38PM UTC
I don't think you have any options unless you can prove a pattern of abuse like discrimination or other illegal behavior by her and your company.
I would leave and find a new job. This is going to continue.
AnonymousMarch 28,2023 at 12:22PM UTC
even if you have proof, someone is protecting her and attorneys have a way of proving otherwise went for whatever reason they protect evil individuals like this one
AnonymousMarch 28,2023 at 12:23PM UTC
you also have to think about retaliation companies train on it swear it never happens it won’t happen. It can’t happen and I’ve seen it happen especially with individuals like this and HR be careful.
G LMarch 28,2023 at 12:03PM UTC
It is time to move on - your senior mgt is not supportive and that will not change. Look at this as a learning experience and good luck to you!!
AnonymousMarch 28,2023 at 12:17PM UTC
Every company I’ve been with has corrupt HR. I’m not surprised.
AnonymousMarch 28,2023 at 12:18PM UTC
I watched the VP of HR ignore hostile work environment allegations. It took calling the hotline our company has set up before any investigations occurred. Then it was done by an outside company as part of the agreement with the hotline. Guess who still has their job - the HR VP. The outside company did find issues and changes happened, but the VP of HR still has their job.
AnonymousMarch 28,2023 at 12:22PM UTC
sadly, I have been in your situation, and I to saw the unfairness the favoritism toward some employees. The hate towards other workers, it was shameful and disgraceful to watch her games. It was reported to her superiors,
it fell on deaf ears until one day new leader ship took over and thought they could coach this woman into a better place, which didn’t happen. Shame on them for seeing her for what she’s truly was and still keeping her.
To this day, I’m not happy with myself for watching this mean spirited, hateful behavior, I was not in a position to quit.
I too was in TA separate from HR, but had a lot of interactions. Not only did this HR manage behave, unprofessionally, etc. etc. she recruited a newer manager and together they conspired with pure hate to try to get my manager fired, who was a complete innocent, good well liked person, the HR manager had her favorite managers within the company and had been there for a long time so she was able to manipulate them into thinking she was helpful, she eventually left because she thought the company was going downhill. To this day. I feel the shame of watching her destroy people intentionally and for me being over 50 and employed there was necessary for me.
I can only tell you to leave, your integrity. Your peace of mind is more important, but it’s easier said than done I was over 50 I knew I was going to have a hard time finding a position , I wish I could be of more help to you but unfortunately I can’t.
my feelings were of all people HR should rise above everything and be people we look up to respect and that didn’t happen here. I’m sure karma will get her in the end. Good luck.
AnonymousMarch 28,2023 at 10:48PM UTC
I'm sorry you're going through this. I've never worked in HR, but have seen what favoritism amongst the upper ranks has brought to the regular staff.
I don't know what state you live in, or how your office is set up but can you record your interactions with this person to show to the upper management? If so do it. Also document everything so that you have proof of what is going on. I wish you the best luck.
AnonymousMarch 28,2023 at 10:48PM UTC
Record your next conversations with her. Inform her that you will be recording bc her version of events do not match reality.
AnonymousMarch 29,2023 at 12:40PM UTC
I agree -- but check your state's laws on recording conversations. In New York State, as long as the parties are all located in the state, conversations can be recorded without notification of the parties and used as documentation. If your state does not allow such recording without notification of other parties, record for your own back-up/security.
AnonymousMarch 29,2023 at 12:20PM UTC
I work in HR and am ashamed of some of the behaviors allowed by the HR Director. She is hateful to employees, lies about conversations, shows extreme favoritism towards people she likes….. Her supervisor is aware but says they are working to correct the issues. I say this to say, there are some people in HR that lack the skills, empathy and integrity that the position requires. I now understand why employees aren’t comfortable asking for HR assistance when thy need it.
AnonymousMarch 29,2023 at 12:53PM UTC
Sorry you are going through this. Sadly, I don’t think it’s uncommon. I don’t have any advice except the general: never trust HR or expect them to advocate for you or basic fairness and respect; minimize contact with HR as much as possible.
MARI S PHONASA, CPSM & CPSDMarch 29,2023 at 12:57PM UTC
This is unfortunate that you are going through this. Sadly, it has been my experience personally and of close contacts that because her behavior is being condoned or overlooked means she probably will not be dealt with in a manner to your liking. The only recourse is to document everything (on paper-not online) so you can take it with you if/when you leave and begin looking for outside opportunities. It is terrible that she is in HR and a manager at that.
AnonymousMarch 29,2023 at 1:17PM UTC
unfortunately this can be really common and while it sucks to go through it, if nothing has been down so far it won’t be , my advice is either find a way to work with her that makes it ok for you ( keep a journal of everything she says time date etc.) and just let it roll off knowing one day karma will kick in or find a new place to work that is what I would do this kind of work environment can you make you sick and it’s not worth it , the HR person probably has been there a while and has friends
AnonymousMarch 29,2023 at 1:29PM UTC
People like this are the EXACT reason employees don't trust HR and I said the same thing about the head of the HR department at my last job. It blows my mind that people with such horrendous interpersonal skills are in charge of HUMAN resources. The one I dealt with should have been dismissed for wildly inappropriate behavior on more than one occasion, but was protected by the CEO.
AnonymousMarch 29,2023 at 1:37PM UTC
Keeping it real here as I have a long and storied career. I'm not sure what's happened to HR teams over the years, but I've had some pretty negative experiences, especially in the past 10+ years after age 50 or so. It's as if HR is no longer concerned about human resources and safe-guarding a strong company culture. Instead they are now the self-appointed bouncers for large organizations. They don't hold confidences. They have an ageist bias (and real stats back me up here). And they actually justify triangulation and attacking formerly exceptional employees as being in the best interest of the company. My advice is to begin looking for other opportunities as once HR has you in their sites, there's little you can do. Do not talk about your experience with anyone from HR. Anything you say will be documented to their advantage. And whistle-blowing to Legal won't help. They will see you as a threat.
AnonymousMarch 29,2023 at 2:42PM UTC
Completely agree. I will add that the current ad campaign we see on TV from Society for Human Resources Management trying to rehabilitate HR’s image is not credible and amounts to empty gaslighting. Bad HR has harmed many people’s careers and have helped perpetuate the white male power structure.
AnonymousMarch 29,2023 at 2:15PM UTC
This is not right and unacceptable. And quite honestly, against the law. I would document everything and seriously seek legal advice. I’m hearing, and have witnessed first hand, people in HR positions abusing their power more too often. This needs to stop NOW!
AnonymousMarch 29,2023 at 3:17PM UTC
If your employer has a 3rd party workforce complaint site, use that. Otherwise, you probably don't have much recourse, sorry.
AnonymousMarch 29,2023 at 4:09PM UTC
I know others have said document, but in a case like this, I would consider recording meetings that involve her. Check your state to see if there is two-way consent, but many states only one party needs to know of the recording. If you need two, tell her that you are going to start recording the meetings. Then either you'll have her unprofessionalism on recording or she'll act better.
Farah BajwaMarch 29,2023 at 9:21PM UTC
Check first to make sure recording is legal in your state. I had a similar situation where I wanted to record and was told if the other person didn't know they were being recorded then it could be illegal...
AnonymousMarch 29,2023 at 5:00PM UTC
Sounds like professional jealousy plain and simple. Do you report to her? Or her to you? If you are peers its simply a power play or just good old competition. Stay the course, stay professional, don't blame and document any issues or incidents with her. Try not to be solo in meetings with her including 1-1's and be sure that you document what is in each one. Make an agenda for each and stay on topic. As for the employee, if it were me I would take them aside independently let them know that you don't mind being there if they need to vent but you expect basic courtesy and respect which is what you would give them in return. Let them know you are there for them (take it from a positive stance) if they need help going forward. If the culture of the company is to not do anything then perhaps its time to hire yourself into something new.
Nuno AnjosMarch 30,2023 at 6:13AM UTC
Clearly the HR manager has the company leadership by the balls,
When an employee knows he superiors won't fire him/her there is nothing you can do but leave!
When you do don't bother telling anyone why, the actual CEO of the company is now the HR Manager
Regina BrownMarch 30,2023 at 3:22PM UTC
At this time, you will need to start documenting in writing. Whenever you speak with your boss and there is an issue, follow is up with an email documenting the meeting and what was said.