I am 49 working at a place with a bunch of teenagers.

17 Comments

1. AnonymousSeptember 28,2022 at 5:31PM UTC

   Smile and say sure. If they are disrespectful point out that you don't appreciate being spoken to that way.

   Nothing more you can do.

2. Terrie McWhorterSeptember 28,2022 at 6:49PM UTC

   Asks for a moment with the boss. Plain and simple. State that you know that there is an age difference, however everyone deserves respect and that you would like to see that across the board. ALSO, whenever you point out a problem, ALWAYS come with a solution...Simply say, I found a really good 10 minute Ted talk on the computer about respect, do you think as a team we could review it? Or YOUTUBE or whatever venue.. Even a fast food place could assign everyone to take a moment to watch a video and then we are going to come together and have a chat about it....TEAM work. Best of luck

3. Shelly EdwardsSeptember 28,2022 at 7:18PM UTC

   You need to take the age out of the equation. You may be older, but the younger person may have more time in the company. Granted, at 16, the person likely does not have a whole lot more time or experience in the job, but still you are looking at it wrong. Take out the age factor and look at each person as a coworker. If you still feel you are being treated unfairly, speak with your manager. I agree, go with solutions rather than just "it's not fair" and you will have a better response. You could try something like, I see that Suzy seems to have a lighter work load whereas I have more to do in a day, and I was hoping we could discuss redistributing some of the work to be more equitable - and then provide a couple of tasks that the other employee could do to relieve some of your workload.

4. AnonymousSeptember 28,2022 at 9:11PM UTC

   Excellent advice to take age out of this equation! This board screams all the time about ageism, I'm being targeted because of my older years, I've been turned down for a job because I have gray hair. The pendulum swings both ways, doesn't it? Thanks for calling out this behavior.

5. AnonymousSeptember 30,2022 at 12:53PM UTC

   How do you know it was because of your gray hair?

6. AnonymousSeptember 30,2022 at 12:51PM UTC

   Taking out the age factor is great advice and a who new way of looking at this (thank you!). But I leave going to my manager as the last resort because managers don’t want to deal with he said/she said. At 16, it’s very easy to redirect my son and he’s still sensitive/concerned about making mistakes. So when I help him avoid a mistake he is appreciative and sees I’m on his side. Work with her personality to get an outcome that is reasonably equitable. Sharing your experience without having them know you are sharing it or feel like they are being put down is necessary in this situation. It will deescalate the tension. Otherwise it’s not worth your time and you should leave…but on good terms.

7. AnonymousSeptember 30,2022 at 5:11PM UTC

   Adding some more food for thought to this. Is it possible that the 16 year old doesn't know how to do the hard jobs? So instead of being malicious and giving you all the hard tasks to have an easier workload, she is just giving you the things she doesn't know how to do.

   Not saying that is the case, but if it's even remotely possible, maybe you can ask for a couple of the tasks that you see as easier (to switch things up a bit) and have her take a couple of the harder ones and offer to help her with them. Just make sure you offer in a way that doesn't come across as condescending.

   Good luck! :)

8. AnonymousSeptember 28,2022 at 9:15PM UTC

   I hope at 49 years old you're in enough control of yourself and your emotions to not "lose your temper" over a 16 year old girl being pushy and giving you unsavory tasks. Its not a good look. I also hope you're not suggesting that because of your age you should only receive the easy tasks.

   Is there anything preventing you from suggesting that the tasks be divvied up differently? You have an opportunity here to set some boundaries and don't forget, NO is a complete sentence. Negotiate the tasks, step away for a few minutes to gather yourself, take a deep breathe...whatever! Making threats to lose your temper over work tasks...this won't get you far. Might be time to look for another job.

9. AnonymousSeptember 30,2022 at 12:43PM UTC

   I understand your frustration and if others haven’t experienced it, it’ll be hard for them to relate, hence some of these replies. Personally when I reported to someone a decade younger and with a lot less career experience, it’s hard to have “ adult” conversations with them because they haven’t gained those skills yet. I get it! Over time it becomes not only frustrating to not be truly heard or communicate at a higher level, but almost demoralizing. But, you need to set a boundary with this girl. Say no and/or pick the tasks first. Be like, I have this experience, why don’t you try x task. I luckily work in a big company and was able to transfer to a more mature/ experience leadership once folks recognized the misalignment. Maybe that’s an option for you?! Hang in there and stand your ground. At the end of the day, you have more career / life experience & use it to your advantage !

10. AnonymousSeptember 30,2022 at 12:48PM UTC

    Why is she allowed to pick her jobs? More context needed please. You are an adult and are perfectly capable of looking at your boss and telling him that he is not to speak to you in that manner. You can stop that easily and professionally. As for the 16yea old, I dunno, is she a "favorite" of the boss?

11. Jennifer ShoffnerSeptember 30,2022 at 1:39PM UTC

    Try to turn the situation around where you can coach the 16 year old. She is speaking to you the way she does because that is what she has experienced. She needs a mentor to help her learn how it should be done. She also may not understand how to do the "harder" tasks. So maybe there is room to work together on those items.

    Aside from that, you should be treated with respect. If your manager continues to talk down to you, it needs to be addressed.

12. AnonymousSeptember 30,2022 at 2:27PM UTC

    Just wondering why is this your work option at 49? Is it a suitable situation being in such a work culture?

13. Christee CSeptember 30,2022 at 3:18PM UTC

    Major corporations hire younger people as managers, supervisors, team leads, etc., and sometimes they were hired AFTER you have been working for years. It happens.

14. AnonymousSeptember 30,2022 at 7:14PM UTC

    True!
    Are you the OP? Is this the case??? I’m just saying work culture tends to be a big factor for me. It has been why I’ve left certain positions after being hired. If the culture changes overtime, I may rethink my priorities but. It would suck to be stuck because of benefits and retirement options.
    *added*. The OP mentioned they are teens and that’s young! If it were early twenties you would have more of a point. I really just wanted to see where the OP was coming from before I could give any sort of valid advice!

15. Focused721350September 30,2022 at 2:37PM UTC

    Good Morning,

    First off! Your boss isn't acting like a boss! That's so unprofessional and disrespectful! ! wouldn't put up with it. I would put him/her in check! As far as the 16 yr. old! Why? I wouldn't let some teenager dictate to me about work. You need to step up and have a adult conversation with your boss one on one. That child! I'd be telling her straight up her behavior isn't acceptable and to worry about herself and what she should be doing. Don't wait until your so ticked off! NIP IT NOW!!!!

    Good Luck and God Bless, Ms. T

16. AnonymousSeptember 30,2022 at 3:04PM UTC

    I have a similar situation although the age difference is not as great. After six months, I found another person is the company I wanted to be my manager. They also agreed to be my manager.

    I set up a meeting with my boss and put a positive spin on the things I could accomplish with the new manager. I also said I wanted to give my best performance and it was not going to happen with the manager they’d chosen for me. I had documentation about why I wasn’t being supported in doing well, including one incident where he knowingly gave me false information to pass onto a client.

    This worked pretty well, but if it hadn’t I would have left. Freelancing or temporary work was my plan B. Bad managers only worsen over time in my experience. The boss also needs to do a gut check as to why they put people in charge who basically chase away the employees under them.

17. AnonymousSeptember 30,2022 at 8:43PM UTC

    This made me feel sad for you.