I’m at a new job and I have regrets.

Anonymous

May 11,2022 at 8:15PM UTC

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I’m at a new job and I have regrets.

I’ve only been with my new employer for three months. So far I’ve learned most of my team mates are either new or are actually contractors. Apparently, there was a mass exodus in 2021 which led to a severe brain drain. Also, my boss and his boss above him recently quit. These are the two individuals who interviewed me, hired me and were supposed to make sure I got training in my new role.

My “trainer” is a contractor but the project we’ve been assigned to is too out of control to allow time for teaching. The IT Project Manager (also a contractor) as been fired. I’ve started taking over those duties (note I’ve never gone through a PMP program). Also, between the fired IT PM and some bad judgment calls by ex-management the project is a mess. What the heck did I walk into?

There’s another individual who’s come in to try and get the ship back in order. They’re great, would be a dream boss and mentor for me, but that individual is a contractor also. What do I do with that? Beg them,” When your contract is up, take me with you?”

I need the money and medical insurance, but I also need out. Meanwhile my current situation has given me such a huge sense of imposter syndrome, I’m afraid I’d just run to the first position I find saying, “Would you like fries with that?”

My last company stopped being the place it was when I started. After more than a decade of service I went from being proud to work there to being embarrassed to work there and starting my mornings with fantasies of playing in traffic instead of going to work. I accepted a voluntary separation package when they were looking to make cut-backs. Essentially let go of folks with seniority so they can eventually replace them with new people who'd accept less pay.

So to see all these signs happening again at my new job is extremely distressing. Just to add to the joy my health seems to be taking a turn for the worse.

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Janet ParkhurstMay 12,2022 at 12:24AM UTC
Don't panic--yet! Join forces with that determined (bless him or her!) individual, and accept the challenge of getting this ship back on course in concert with him/her. You might end up becoming a great business team that can eventually clean up the rest of the mess. If you actually like the work -- sans the stress -- hang in there and see if you can "make it work." Who cares if the majority of the workers are contractors? That's the way the work world has been going in the last couple of decades, anyway.
Instead of letting your past experience mar your thinking, take this on as something new and challenging. I guess I'm coming from that corny expression, "choose to see the glass as half empty or half full." You're getting paid, you're getting medical benefits, so just hang in there.
I think your health will improve once you change your outlook on the situation. Remember, nothing is forever, and you can always start looking for another job (again, I KNOW), if the situation warrants it.
JJMay 12,2022 at 2:03AM UTC
As soon as I got to “IT” I thought: quit. You have very in-demand skills and this does not seem like an ethical, peaceful, forward-thinking company. You can do better!
AnonymousSeptember 30,2022 at 2:59PM UTC
Update: I'm still at this company, but my health has recovered mostly (early summer is generally the worst for me).
My "dream boss" will likely be leaving in November. A new boss is being transitioned in. This cluster f*#k of a company has managed to break my "Give a Dam" and I don't like it, I don't like being that person. How do I get it back? Also, the imposter syndrome has gotten worse.
AnonymousSeptember 26,2023 at 5:03PM UTC
New update: After sticking it out with this company for one year and seven months, my position was eliminated as part of a round of mass layoffs. The company is having problems and they've been cutting back across the board. Can't say I didn't see it coming. Just wish I followed my instincts and jumped ship a lot sooner.