Has anyone here had a depression, or maybe post partum depression?

I've been in this state for a long time and this is not good. I've been thinking more and more about things I actually did'nt have to think. Been irritable, did'nt want to talk to anyone,prepared being alone and unable to communicate. Its so hard that I ended waking up holding a knife or having suicide thoughts. I cut my wrist several times ,hit my head and see things like pictures coming to me repeatedly. But , after so many suicidal thoughts that comes to my mind, I overcome it. I overcome it without the help of any doctors or psychiatris. I overcome it myself. What did I do? I just accept it and embrace the things that triggers my sadness. I just become happy with mylife .