I resigned (more liked forced to resign) from an extremely toxic workplace almost two years ago.

20 Comments

1. AnonymousAugust 12,2025 at 11:29PM UTC

   I think you should follow up with a thank you email to the panel and an individual note to the panel member from the previous job. Just say you didn't include the employer because you felt that the job wasn't a good fit for you and didn't allow you to do your best work. However, now you are ready and eager to use your skills to benefit the new company. You just might get the job! For the future, I think you should revise your resume to include your most recent job even though it was toxic. If you are asked why you left, say you resigned because you wanted to pursue an opportunity more aligned with your vision or that better allows you to use your skill set to the best of your ability. Most of the time, companies actually won't badmouth you because they fear legal repercussions. Usually, they will just state the dates of your employment and your job title. If in doubt, get a friend or family member to pose as an employer and contact the former company to see what they say about you.

2. AnonymousAugust 13,2025 at 1:05PM UTC

   You do need to put that last place on the resume and any application. When an offer is extended, that old co will show up and now there is a conflict if it wasn't listed. That can cost you an offer.

   What you need is a good exit statement! You might be able to say there was a change in your leadership, this new manager wanted to develop their own team, when you recognized this you chose to leave. (you did choose, you resigned). Or maybe, the job you were hired to do wasn't materializing, and you wanted to find something more aligned with your career path.

   The old co will not divulge anything about you except start/stop date and your title when the background check is done.

   You don't say how long you worked there, but if it wasn't too long, having references from previous employers, or vendors, is perfectly adequate.

   See if you can find a coach to discuss these things with, you need to put this to bed so you can go forward w/o coloring future interviews with this 'trauma'. You need to work, so you need to process this for sure. Good luck!

3. AnonymousAugust 13,2025 at 1:20PM UTC

   If it’s not too late, send the thank you note and include a more updated resume. You don’t have much to lose. Your former colleague may have already known about your omission. In the future, have an answer. “There was a lot going on there that made me so uncomfortable I decided to quit before I had another job. However, I learned xyz skills and that align closely with your needs.” Then immediately ask a question about the job.

4. AnonymousAugust 13,2025 at 5:02PM UTC

   How long did you work for that employer? I'd leave it on regardless. Do you know why the person left that you replaced? Likely similar scenario. I left an employer, no notice, just a strongly worded farewell email and I was out the door. I did include it on my resume...the employer I went to after that? "We are well acquainted with your former employer, you don't need to explain anything."

5. AnonymousAugust 13,2025 at 6:42PM UTC

   I encourage you to consider a different mindset. My last job that I had was for 7 years; my fav job ever. However, my company was bought out. Always changes, changes everywhere, and needless to say, it wreaked havoc. Due to some personal health issues, I have not worked in 7 years now. I’m quite concerned that I’ve been out of the public sector for too long. Any suggestions? I applied for Social Security Disability but still have no update.

6. LauraAugust 13,2025 at 6:29PM UTC

   Lots of good advice! Just want to chime in that just because you list a job on your resume doesn't mean that you have to provide someone at that company as a reference. If they do call to verify employment it would be to do just that - verify dates of employment and position held and even then a lot of places outsource that now.

7. AnonymousAugust 15,2025 at 9:37PM UTC

   And depending on your state, even if they call they can only provide a yes you worked here from a date to x date. Nothing more

8. Tami CannizzaroAugust 13,2025 at 8:40PM UTC

   Agree with others; this job needs to be included on your resume. As difficult as it seems, put a positive spin on your experience - after all, we learn even from the worst jobs. I still shudder from my bad experience. During interviews or networking I phrase it positively, in that "I learned so much from the job". Fortunately I have enough other great experience that I don't need to dwell on that 1 year. If pressed, I talk about how this experience gave me a chance to learn about the industry from a leader in the field, to work with diverse departments and manage a large team. I don't mention the HUGE negatives that overshadowed all of this and caused me to leave.

9. Dr. Patty GrossAugust 14,2025 at 12:46PM UTC

   Leaving a job off, if it has nothing to do with your career path, like a filler job for a paycheck while you continue to look, is perfectly okay. The only problem is the gap it causes, so if you only worked there for a few months, it should not be a problem.

   However, you may be shooting yourself in the foot if that job had deliverables and skills required that are relevant to the job you are applying to. Like Tami said below so eloquently, spin the experience and leave out the negative. If this place is this toxic and the turnover is high, most likely other places understand that and won't hold it against you. If asked why you left there, indicate that it wasn't a good fit and, by mutual agreement with the company, decided to leave.

   If the job you did for the company has direct relevance to what you are applying for, by all means leave it on and highlight your accomplishments. The bigger issue is what you have been doing in the two years since you left. Have you taken classes to upskill? Were you taking care of a sick relative? These can be something you use to make sure that the company realizes you are serious about your career path, while also taking care of family (if relevant). Including these on your resume not only fills the gap, but it also shows self-discipline and respect.

10. AnonymousAugust 14,2025 at 1:15PM UTC

    I would also like to add that in your post, you make a lot of assumptions about what you think people might be thinking... That kind of spiraling is never helpful and the truth is, you never really do know what someone else is thinking unless they tell you OR you directly ask them. Trust your gut.

11. AnonymousAugust 14,2025 at 1:47PM UTC

    I usually read ALL of the other comments before commenting, but I’m in a rush and want to add this comforting thought in case no one covered it: that panel member probably experienced enough toxicity at your previous workplace that they empathize with your situation and understand why you didn’t list that particular employer!

12. AnonymousAugust 14,2025 at 6:15PM UTC

    Been in the same situation and it took a long time to heal from it. So these worries you have of people finding your connection to the toxic place is normal because you didn’t do anything wrong yet was made to feel as if it was you. It’s was also hard for me to find work and talk about them. What you need to do are two things. One, keep on your search and know you worked hard at your last job and deserve recognition. Two, work on yourself because those people did their best to tear you down. I’m working again and you will too. Be patient with yourself.

13. Pooja SunkaraAugust 15,2025 at 2:20PM UTC

    Even I resigned (more liked forced to resign) from an extremely toxic workplace for almost 3 years

14. AnonymousAugust 15,2025 at 4:31PM UTC

    Perhaps reach out directly to them to ask how they dealt with the situation in their own hiring process. Many people suffer from heinous workplaces and recover using the people that are trusted. You can reach out to the old company and send them a letter to the HR/legal dept and request that only dates of employment are given when and if references are checked. That usually is enough to protect you from any negative feedback you are given. Good luck.

15. Jodie JohnsonAugust 15,2025 at 4:34PM UTC

    These toxic workplaces have always been around and I'm really glad that we are finally calling it out. I wish there were stricter/better laws against it. There should be more protections in place to protect people's emotional peace in workspaces. The so-called mean girl thing is absolutely real. Even though, we on this site, ban together, there's many ruthless women out there who sustain themselves by destroying the wellbeing of others. It's awful knowing that this is LITERALLY what makes these types feel good. At any rate, keep trying for other employment, take some free courses online, even if it's outside of your field, just as resume builders and you'll be surprised because sometimes the very things you're doing to divert from something else, are opening doors for you at the same time. Like the happenstance of someone in a course or teaching a course who connects you to someone or something. All the best to you and a hug! xx

16. AnonymousAugust 15,2025 at 5:56PM UTC

    I resigned due to the toxicity after receiving a layoff notice. I almost made it to the end date, but HR called me on my personal confidential a week before I was going on a two week vacation approved and scheduled almost a year before to demand if I was going to be in the office the next day (which was a scheduled/approved day off to volunteer in the community). My heart rate shot up and my whole body clenched for hours. I knew I wasn't going to make it to the end of the month.

17. SANDRA SMITHAugust 15,2025 at 6:31PM UTC

    I was in your exact situation, luckily for me I was able to retire. You will figure it out and land a better position. NO JOB IS WORTH YOUR PEACE AND MENTAL HEALTH.

18. AnonymousAugust 16,2025 at 1:37PM UTC

    I was in this situation. I realized that my confidence and energy were low and it was showing through in my resume, portfolio and in my interview performance via low affect and weak, non-specific language. Try an accomplishments exercise to get connected with what you appreciate about yourself.

    I’ll preface this by saying it sounds silly, I know, but it helps to get in touch with strengths.

    step 1. Make a list of 100 things that you are proud of. How you care for yo ur cat, the way that you make strangers smile, how you overcame X difficult situation, the way you found a creative solution to X challenge. We all have things like this. Look across your life. You’ll find them. You can even ask the people that know you well. Tell them that you’re making a list for an assignment and you’re wondering what they see as your strengths.

    Step 2 is, look across these areas of your life. What are the trends? Are you great at solving problems? Are you great at bringing people together to find common ground?

    After my situation I was recommended to do this and it helped me retool my resume. I ended up making with a 40% increase in salary in my next role.

    I believe in you. Now you need to believe in you.

    much love.

19. AnonymousAugust 17,2025 at 5:11PM UTC

    I am so sorry that you experienced this. I feel a toxic supervisor/work situation can be one of the most psychologically debilitating things that can happen in a person's life. It strips you of your self-esteem and confidence, and you even begin to doubt that you ever had the skills and competencies that landed you the job in the first place. Worst of all, it makes you suspicious of everyone, leaving you emotionally isolated.

    I know these feelings and am still healing from the PTSD of my old job in my new job. I moved locations 4000 kms to take the job. It was a leap of faith that put me in a vulnerable position in a tumultuous marriage and led to the death of my first born. Would I do it again? Maybe not, but it has made me a wiser and better woman.

    The toxicity in that job triggered anxiety in me and I started therapy. The therapist encouraged me to go on a medical leave. I took it twice and during the second leave, I found a program called Made to Do This. That program helped me remind myself of my worth and value. I then decided to become everything I would have wanted them to be to me. I became more empathetic, kind, welcoming, helpful and loving to everyone in all my interactions. I also learnt breathwork which helped me with the anxiety.

    They ended up terminating me even though they had the option of placing me in another role.

    I am a Christian, so prayers played a huge role in my life during that time. In fact, getting into Made to Do This and learning breathwork actually came about miraculously.
    I also got a new job that was higher than the job I was terminated from 3 months after, miraculously. And the biggest miracle of all, my new work team seems like a dream. My new supervisor is my greatest cheerleader.

    Regarding getting the job, apart from mindset work through listening to Joel Osteen's sermons daily, breathwork and therapy, I also did the following:

    Used ChatGPT to redo my resume, and subsequently customize it to each job application. I also used ChatGPT for custom cover letters, and developing potential questions and answers to job tests and interviews.

    One of the colleagues that was friendly with me at the old job was willing to be a reference. So I used her for all my applications. I had a manager I had supported who had agreed to be my reference but afterwards sent me a message that she feels uncomfortable doing that for me. I responded in a way that I hope she learnt that life is a journey for all of us.

    I also used references from old jobs and volunteer roles; the supervisors in those jobs are also good to use.

    I added community organizations I had volunteered with to my resume.

    I practiced breathwork to calm myself during interviews and entered every interview as if I was having a chat with my friends; this quelled any anxiety and took a lot of pressure to perform off me. It also made me comfortable asking questions without feeling ashamed.

    I was determined to not lie so, I also prepared to answer questions about my last job when I couldn't produce supervisor references from there. ChatGPT, YouTube and Google gave me tips.

    All in all, I stayed positive with those sermons and continued to pray fervently. I believed that any job I didn't get was not mine, and that my job was out there. I believed strongly that God was going to connect me with my own job; the one where I will have peace of mind and support to excel.

    Today, I have that new job, and even though I still have flashbacks, I am doing quite well.

    I know that it's not easy, but I can assure you that the toxic experience is setting you up for a wonderful future. Hang in there sis!

20. Gee EmmSeptember 8,2025 at 7:58PM UTC

    This is 100% my experience!!! Something will come around.