Surviving incestuous organizations

Anonymous

January 13,2023 at 3:10PM UTC

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Surviving incestuous organizations

I joined a large company based in a company town where pretty much everyone knows each other. I was very excited when I was hired and thrilled to land this highly coveted position, but now I'm not so sure. It's become obvious that there are certain staffers who are very embedded in the company and culture and in most of those cases, is also related to or married to other staffers. Then there are the rest of us who are not related to or married to someone at the organization. I'm now starting to wonder if I should look for another position. I really don't feel like I'm ever going to join the "in" crowd. My family isn't moving to this town anytime soon- it's just not for us- and no, my parents do not work there and did not help me land my job there. I think I may need to get what I can out of it and cut my losses. Thoughts? Anyone else get through a place like this and succeed without marrying into the business?

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JJJanuary 13,2023 at 4:05PM UTC
Yes I have worked for companies with similar circumstances and it never really worked out. If you need to go, start building your plan because they will not change.
AnonymousJanuary 13,2023 at 6:15PM UTC
Cut your losses. LIsten to your intuition it is telling you something.
AnonymousJanuary 13,2023 at 7:47PM UTC
I worked in Entertainment in Los Angeles and the nepotism is rampant.
You get what you can out of it and move on. I never wanted to be part of the "in crowd " which in someway helped me enormously.
I spent about 10 years bouncing around the various companies and then left for a quieter life.
AnonymousJanuary 15,2023 at 2:09PM UTC
My warning… if you are not ‘family’ you are first to go during hard times.
AnonymousJanuary 17,2023 at 6:10AM UTC
This is evident!!! A given I have realised. In my 4months at my current company- I have seen 4 people let go & 1 resignation… in 4 months due to tough financial conditions and the cutting of salaries of people doing work but aren’t family members.
AnonymousJanuary 15,2023 at 2:34PM UTC
I don't think incestuous means what you think it means. I think you mean nepotism.
Joan Williams, Senior Talent Acquisition SpecialistJanuary 16,2023 at 2:54AM UTC
This sounds almost like you're working for a family owned company - which I swore I would never do again. I've never worked some place where people treated each other worse. Unless you were going to marry into the family, you would always be disposable.
If you don't see this culture changing - I don't see any reason to stay. I would consider cutting my losses.
AnonymousJanuary 16,2023 at 1:36PM UTC
I am learning the lesson. At the current company I’m employed at- it is a family business (even the chairman’s sons disrespect us & speak to us like children). To top it all off: if you’re not a foreigner (I.e. from the same country as they are) you’re definitely expendable.
i applied for job opportunities in December and have an exit strategy. I’m just waiting for the next job opportunity and offer. I have to stick it out until I have something I can land on.
Kim RaperJanuary 16,2023 at 1:46PM UTC
Best of luck to you, and never question the decision to look for something that fits you better - and family owned businesses can be the worst to survive in !!!
AnonymousJanuary 16,2023 at 1:22PM UTC
If you need to be part of an “in” crowd as a form of validation, this is not the place for you. And no, I’m not judging, just making a statement. Put a plan in place to leave because you will never find satisfaction in this space.
AnonymousJanuary 16,2023 at 1:56PM UTC
I get it. I was hired by an employer that was loaded with family/friends of family and nepotism all.over.the.place. Fresh people and ideas just did not fit AT ALL. I never fit it, and I knew it the first week I began working there. I had the perfect resume and gave an A+ job performance but inside of myself, I was miserable. In fact, I look back on my diary entries from 2015 (6 mos after starting there) and was already actively applyling elsewhere. My advice: Your gut is your internal barometer--NEVER IGNORE IT. do your best work and keep your eyes out for an opportunity to jump ship. These types of places will never welcome you, and you will never feel welcomed. They don't change, either. They sink, they continue to "prosper their own"...and/ or those who join them sink. (in my case, I worked there 4.5 years--miserable but put on a very happy face--the company imploded, sold out, and more than 100 of us were displaced, including myself. It's amazing; the top crust was protected all along the way.
AnonymousJanuary 16,2023 at 6:33PM UTC
I worked for a franchise of a national company. My department was comprised of people who had worked together at a different business, went to the same church, and hung out on the weekends. One of them actually told me to my face that “they didn’t need any new friends.” I was miserable. Get out.
Lisa MarieJanuary 16,2023 at 9:48PM UTC
I have some questions please:
WHAT are the challenge(s) you have faced so far? You haven't stated any.
What, aside from other employees being related or married to each other, is YOUR specific issue with your role and job tasks? Is the issue just that you are not yet included in social happenings?
Are you getting paid the correct amount? And on time each payday?
What exactly have you experienced already that makes you believe you will not be successful at your actual job/role?
As far as you can tell (so far) Is it/has it really been a successful company (not just on paper)? That would indicate the relatives ARE producing as employees should, right?
What, if anything is exactly stopping you from being the best at your job tasks DESPITE the relationship statuses of the other employees around you?
You do not have to respond with the answers here... but tell yourself the answers - multiple times - speak all the answers out loud to yourself, so you'll HEAR them. See how hearing them makes you feel.
Also, see how the answers align with the career plan you have for yourself. Does/will any of the answers prevent YOUR growth/success in that job role, or will the answers truly eliminate your paycheck?
Based on *all* the answers you will speak out loud... is there truly a problem at your place of employment?
KyleenJanuary 16,2023 at 9:53PM UTC
I have not worked for such an organization until now. It is crazy-making and I really don't like it. I feel stressed all the time by the double standard it creates. If I could get another job, I would since I will never marry into or become part of "the family."
Ginger CarlsonJanuary 17,2023 at 4:55AM UTC
I worked at such a place. I couldn't stay.
Kimberly GrahamJanuary 17,2023 at 5:41PM UTC
I have experienced toxic environments BUT I have also made incorrect assumptions about groups and team dynamics. For example, I experienced the boys' club/glass ceiling many years ago and assumed that to be the case at a team that I joined and when I changed my approach it became an amazing experience and was all in my head. However, I have also been part of groups where it's hard to break in.
Teresa PFebruary 4,2023 at 5:58AM UTC
I personally just got out of a toxic environment as they let me go because they ran out of work. That was total bs and then they had the nerve to tell me that I didn't fit in with the company. I had been there for almost 11 years and was making a lot compared to others there. This isn't the first time I was let go because I was making too much. But to be told that they no longer needed me because they didn't have work for me? Don't lie! There was a bunch of nepotism going on and it was a small company. I personally should have gotten out of there sooner rather than later (Dec 2022).