Disfunctional workplace and difficult situation

Anonymous

May 25,2023 at 4:02AM UTC

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Disfunctional workplace and difficult situation

I am struggling. I have been with my company for 15 years, really liked it, made good career progress. But in the last two years things got a turn to the worst. It started gradually until it became really bad. We had new management who brought their people, we had reorganization after reorganization plus job eliminations. I somehow survived so far, but it is getting hard. I had 4 different bosses. My current one is very disengaged. One of the people he brought with him is supposed to solve some production problems and given green light for many initiatives. He runs his own thing, doesn't align with other teams, does not communicate consistently or give updates. We started duplicating work or the opposite - not addressing things because we thought the other team will h andle it. I tried to bring this up at our staff meeting, but my boss shut me down with the words, "just figure it out between yourselves". Well, I tried and other team members are complaining too, but nothing changed. There are often fire drills because things became so disorganized that deadlines are not communicated well.

I tried looking for another job, but frankly I am so busy all the time trying to do the best I can to solve problems and stop fires. I like my own team, I was really feeling loyal to the team and the company, so I come home exhausted. I feel like I either need to disengage myself and just spend time searching and applying or just quit. I am the sole breadwinner and we need the money, but this is really taking the toll on me. Not sure how to proceed.

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Rosa E HearnMay 25,2023 at 4:37AM UTC
I would use vacation or sick pay to take a couple days for yourself. Maybe even look for that next opportunity. I realize you are in stressful situation but it seems the new organization has bigger fish to fry, that they are hoping the teams can run themselves until they themselves are sorted out. Probably not fair to you and your teams, but if they can't handle their own mess, it's hard for them to help you. Maybe you or someone from the team can step up and lead the projects to avoid duplication and/or get organized with assignments. Either way at this stage of the game you either try to weather the storm or try looking somewhere else. But I really would try to take a couple of days off just to reset and unstress.
Joan Williams, Senior Talent Acquisition SpecialistMay 25,2023 at 5:00AM UTC
So here's the cold hard truth ---> your loyalty is misplaced.
Your loyalty, number one, should be to yourself and your career. It is your responsibility - no one else's.
That company could lay you off tomorrow and not give it a second thought.
And I promise you, no one on your team has ever, WILL EVER say "gee, I'd really like to take this great new job I've been offered but I feel so bad about leaving Anonymous."
YOU SAID: "I am so busy all the time trying to do the best I can to solve problems and stop fires."
Here's some more hard truth: You’re not going to fix that company. You’re not going to put the forest fire out. Because it’s so poorly managed, there will ALWAYS be new lightening strikes starting new fires. You can’t solve those problems either. You work at a poorly run company managed by people who don’t care and aren’t trying to improve it. The company you used to work at is no more.
CHOOSE YOURSELF! CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY!
Do what you can during the day and then go home to your second job of finding a job. I know it's hard when you have a job and a family but once you know you won't be stuck in that job forever, hopefully it will lessen your stress. Relief is in sight.
Fire up that resume and find a better job. And if it turns out to not be the better situation you were hoping for, fire that resume back up and do it again. Life is too short to be unhappy. If you feel you need permission to make a change - YOU'VE GOT IT.
Please let me know if you have any questions. GOOD LUCK!!
AnonymousMay 25,2023 at 12:24PM UTC
I just gave up $200K due to a toxic work environment. I was in a similsr situation and I knew I had to put myself first. Yes, I had some setbacks but for the 1st time in a very long time, I smiled and was able to sleep past 2 hours! Put yourself first and please start applying. They have no interest in what you have done and continue to do for the company.
Joan Williams, Senior Talent Acquisition SpecialistMay 26,2023 at 4:43AM UTC
I'm so happy to hear you've found some peace. There's nothing like a good night's sleep to help with an attitude adjustment. GOOD LUCK in your next new adventure!
AnonymousMay 25,2023 at 11:48PM UTC
"Life is too short to be unhappy."
We all need to internalize this and know it to be true. If we disappeared tomorrow, our companies wouldn't hesitate to re-post that position asap. I fear judgment but I should fear being unhappy and unfulfilled even more. Thank you for this message.
Joan Williams, Senior Talent Acquisition SpecialistMay 26,2023 at 3:09AM UTC
You are sooo welcome! Being miserable, for the most part, is a choice. Choose yourself. Choose to be happy.
GirlBossanova934974May 26,2023 at 12:17PM UTC
I think what is missing is a job search routine. The routine starts before you go to work in the morning. You set up a few LinkedIn daily job emails. Each email is tied to a different job type. As you have 15 years minimum experience, you probably have a few jobs you can do. I have 4 of them and I am not looking for work right now. Everyday, you will get those emails. Open them up and go through the open jobs in your area. Apply as you are qualified and interested. ALSO, please take the time to fully update your Linkedin profile with all your skillsets etc. Recruiters will be calling and emailing. After you have a few dozen resumes and applications out there, you will get calls and responses. Good Luck!
rgstaffing@bellsouth.netMay 26,2023 at 12:21PM UTC
15 years is way too long to stay in a job. Job searches can be done when you get home in the evening and on weekends. The first step is to be 100% sure you are ready to leave your job and start a new one. That is the biggest problem with staying in a job 15 years--similar to an abusive marriage that people can't seem to leave.
AnonymousMay 29,2023 at 3:22PM UTC
This is not necessarily true. If you like your job, your team, and your company, there is nothing wrong with staying as long as you like. The question I would ask is are you getting enough - enough challenge, enough learning/growth, enough support, enough money, enough of whatever else is important to you?
I’ve been at my company 14 years. I’ve grown from individual contributor senior manager. I’ve worked In engineering and professional services and on several different products.
I’ve had 11 bosses - some due to my job changes and some due to theirs. I’ve learned something from each of them that helped in my career.
The average tenure on my team is 25 years. Similar tenure for many in other departments as well. We’ve gone through mergers where we’ve bought companies and where we’ve been bought. As a co-worker once said, it is sufficiently interesting.
Everyone’s needs and desires for their career are not the same. For some, consistency is key. For others, new challenges within the same company works well. For others, they desire full change and move from company to company.
AnonymousMay 31,2023 at 3:23AM UTC
Thank you for the reassuring words! I need it right now. My company was as you described, but not anymore. I hate to think of myself as this failure who stayed too long, because there was nowhere to go. This attitude is terrible.
rgstaffing@bellsouth.netMay 31,2023 at 11:34PM UTC
There seems to be enough change in this company for you and your team mates. Others become stagnate and resistant to change and new ways of doing things. You have obviously had many new jobs within this company.
AnonymousMay 26,2023 at 12:44PM UTC
I’ve been with the same company for 30 years, so I understand the feelings of loyalty and wanting the best outcome for an organization you’ve spent much of your life working for. Here is the thing. That loyalty to you doesn’t go very far, especially when new management is involved.
Make a plan to get a new job. And if you spend less time putting out fires that aren’t really yours then you will have energy for the job search. Your loyalty needs to be to you and your family. Not a company that has had multiple restructurings and job eliminations. At work, keep your head down. You have already made your concerns known, pushing anymore will have you seen as a trouble maker and could put your head on the chopping block. Unless you know the company has been generous with severance packages and then that could be the way to go.
rgstaffing@bellsouth.netMay 31,2023 at 11:28PM UTC
I agree with this advice. It is solid.
AnonymousMay 26,2023 at 1:27PM UTC
Stop feeling like it’s on you to put out all the fires. Poor management is creating the fires, so let them see them and figure out what needs to change so they stop happening. If you keep fixing them, then they think everything is ok. Nothing will change there if they don’t recognize there are issues. And then make the time to search. Make it a routine. I would designate specific times to search, and that kept me focused and sane. I knew when I got home from work when my search time would be and when I’d be free for anything else. That helped mentally.
AnonymousMay 26,2023 at 1:40PM UTC
I was in a similar position. I was so mentally exhausted I couldn't look for work. And all these fires and the workload increased so that I would work from 9-9 pm most days. We were all working on the same project but never told that was the case. She kept details from us that were relevant and important. My boss also liked to look for and create drama to ensure we didn't trust each other.
It took a long time to realize it but I needed to leave. My partner was very supportive. I gave myself a break and left with nothing lined up.
It's ok to leave if you don't have another job as long as you have a plan.
You could always take on freelance work or take a job that's not in your field to bring in some money.
Do it for your health and well-being because a bad work environment can be more damaging even after you get out and will take time to unravel the toxicity you experienced.
You need to be loyal to yourself and not the company
AnonymousMay 26,2023 at 2:07PM UTC
I was in a similar situation. I started taking some of my vacation days to job hunt ad that was the only way to step away from the fire drills. I thought I had time to land but then I ended up getting laid off. Take the time you need to care for you and your family first rather than the company. Eventually the leadership changes will impact you one way or the other.
AnonymousMay 26,2023 at 2:30PM UTC
I know exactly what you're going through. I've in the same boat. Change in management and the old guard is being pushed out for the new one who is not as competent. I've been reading this book called "How Women Rise" and there is a quote in there that I have to keep reminding myself, which is "Don't let a job get in the way of your career," which means you need to carve out time to plan your career path as you would your day-to-day tasks. With a new management, loyalty goes out the door. Women then to use that as an excuse, i.e. too busy to look for another job, and then it hurts them in the long run. Please start drawing bounderis for yourself and protect your career planning time. Good luck!
RachelMay 26,2023 at 2:32PM UTC
Thank you for the book suggestion. I'm going to check that out!
RachelMay 26,2023 at 2:34PM UTC
My sister was in a similar situation. For better or worse, she resigned because she just could not take the mental and emotional stress any more. She's got good connections and she's going to start looking, but she had to take a few weeks just to decompress. I hope things go well for you!
AnonymousMay 26,2023 at 4:46PM UTC
Make yourself the priority and after as long as you have been there be honest with yourself about what you really need and want. Then you can take action that makes sense for the situation. You cannot make this new manager more engaged or effective unless you provide feedback in tow with your team to the HRBP or upper management. As a long time employee they will either a- take it under advisement or b- if their plan is to move to his type of leadership- it could push you out. Be sure to have a landing pad just in case by checking the market out and seeing what your value is elsewhere. When you interview let the prospective new employers know that there is far too much upheaval and uncertainty and that is what is causing you to look around. Don't give details, stay above that in the conversations but do let them know what a stable place with good leadership looks like for you, you just may find it in a new home. If things are right you might just be followed by some other co-workers as well.
AnonymousMay 26,2023 at 5:08PM UTC
I was dealing with something similar recently and ultimately made the decision to make a move. If you're unhappy, you're not growing, and things are so volatile it's affecting your health and interest in life then it's time to move on. Maybe try taking a vacation day and devoting the whole day to yourself - have a massage and think critically about what you want while relaxing, then head home and spend some uninterrupted time searching for jobs and applying. It's important to set boundaries and make the necessary changes.
Cindy GrossMay 26,2023 at 6:30PM UTC
Prioritize what you can do in 35 hours a week and do that. Let the rest drop. Communicate concisely with a focus on impact. Set and maintain boundaries that make sense to you. Prioritize things that help you grow and enhance your own skills. Track the impact you're having and put that on a resume.
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