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Leaders that lead by instilling fear

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Leaders that lead by instilling fear

I started a new position 3 weeks ago after a 7 month long search. I took a set back in terms of pay but bills need to be paid. My last company became a toxic environment after hiring a new COO. I left my 12 year job 7 months ago due to the toxicity - many times targeted at me.

Now, I have noticed with this new company that it is an environment where the owner leads with trying to instill fear and intimidation with her employees. I sense that many employees fear her and bow down to her. It is interesting to see.

She was on the phone with our team and was notably upset with something. She said that she would speak with the vp of operations about the situation. When she came back into the office she asked me if I felt beaten up. I told her not at all but told her about a solution that I will be implementing to help solve the problem. I believe it was a test for me to see if I would have been intimidated. She also tested me again by asking if the salary range (I’m in recruitment) was xyz but I told her what the correct range was.

I think she leads with instilling fear in people which at this stage in my life does not work for me.

I am looking for a new job but plan on sitting tight throughout the holidays with the help of the almighty as bills need to be paid.

if anyone has any insights with dealing with someone like this and navigating through this situation, please let me know.

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  1. Anonymous

    There are different leadership styles. I felt like your original post was missing some information for me to make a clear decision. Here's what I think, if you're very unhappy, start looking for a new job. What could be toxic for some is just everyday normal /tolerable for others. Trust your instincts.

    Good luck!

  2. Anonymous

    sounds like my current job. I’m looking and as soon as I accept an offer I’m leaving. Don’t worry. I’m not applying to any job. I’m being more carefull but this current job has taught me what I need to llok for.

  3. Anonymous

    I think it might be an opportunity to tame the wild bear. Ha. Most times when they behave that way it's out of fear. Machiavelli said its better to be feared than loved, but if you read the whole quote it's if you can't lead from love. I think it takes both. Fear but more in the form of respect. Pure fear as in holding someone' s job over their heads is a mark of someone who can't figure out how to lead or inspire people. I had a horrible toxic boss who said the most outrageous things it was just rediculous and if it wasn't covid he would not have gotten into my head. So I know it's hard, but the more you can be like the lotus flower and rise above this woman's drama the better you will be. I can't say it will help you keep your job any longer than otherwise, but you will come out with your sanity intact. And do not forget things can change for the better as well. Perhaps after the holidays she may be in the hotseat if she's looking credibility with her team and she's not producing. That's happens too. Tides do shift. So keep answering her as a grown up to another grown up, ignore her temper tantrums, and resist the urge to parent her, and you will be less rattled at the end of the day until you can go elsewhere.

  4. Anonymous

    I’m curious, are you a manager in recruitment? If the owner asked you about being beaten up who was she referring to that would have made you feel that way? I’m a former recruiter in IT/staffing. I survived for years in toxic horribly managed companies. And watched owners of 2 of them lose a ton of people. I witnessed some of the worst companies, procedures and anger in people. My saving grace was I was a dynamo at my job (which kept the heat off me). However, I work in toxicity now and truly think it’s the type of work I do. Fast paced, high volume environments breed it. And where I work people get management jobs that are not qualified. But I have learned if you align yourself with the owner and your boss and make solutions and offer to implement, and stay on their good side, you’re golden. I wouldn’t return to staffing (if that’s your industry) for love or money. I would only work in corporate recruiting. However, start seeking now, and ask in your next interviews these questions (they help you gauge the culture): A. What is the most favorite part of your job? B. What is the most challenging or least favorite part of your job and finally C. How would you describe your management style? All open questions. Like you, I took 2 different jobs due to needing income. But they were the absolutely most horrible places I have ever worked. Hope this helps but do keep us posted!

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