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Good morning all,

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Anonymous

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Good morning all,

I am in a workplace that operates on blame and shame. The object of the game is to always throw someone under the bus.

I work in Diversity, Equity and Inclusion and it has been particularly difficult being a scapegoat.

I do keep records of all correspondence and I take notes at meetings. I’ve spoken to HR and they go along with management.

Any advice?

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16 Comments

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  1. Anonymous

    You cannot fight your management's toxicity. Unfortunately the writing is on the wall and you'll be best served by leaving.

  2. Anonymous

    Get out of there as quickly as possible and don't look for DEI positions. I hear from others that DEI is the worst (next to HR) for employees who are only out for themselves. Sorry you are experiencing such a toxic workplace.

  3. Kat

    Look elsewhere. It sounds like your DEI position is just there to make the company look good rather than affect actual change. There are very few companies (from big tech to small non-profits) that are serious about making DEI initiatives a reality. Culture change on a large scale is difficult, and the company you work for is not up to the task.

  4. Melissa McHugh

    This makes me sad to hear. One of my former classmates is in DEI for a large company. He's been lucky in that they walk the walk and talk the talk. I've loved watching him follow his dreams.

    I think you're doing all you can do and agree with people below that your company may not be ready to fully embrace DEI. So I think your best bet is to keep looking until you find a company that does.

    In the interim, just remember that it's a reflection on them and not anything personally against you. You're in a great field and I know you'll find something awesome!

  5. Anonymous

    Where is your former classmate located? Which company?

  6. Melissa McHugh

    I'm not sure if he would want his information shared publicly. but if you want to message me here, I can reach out to him and see if he'd be open for a chat.

  7. Anonymous

    Wow! I just typed walk the talk comment to the poster and then read your post. Absolutely! Your friend and the poster should connect.

  8. Anonymous

    Get out. If the company doesn't practice what they preach, then it reflects on you. You are part of that brand by working there. Spend no time wondering. Update that fabulous resume and connect with DEandI experts, and companies on LinkedIn. Sounds like you need to find a more fertile environment that walks the talk.

  9. Anonymous

    Move on, find another job..why do you want to work in a place like that.

  10. Anonymous

    There is so much to unpack in your post. First if the culture is blame and shame then it might be difficult to be a change agent in that environment. DEI is in some companies still so new and misunderstood. Many internal forces rebel against it especially if it is force fed through the ranks. It is surprising to me about your HR comment since in most organizations the function itself of DEI rolls up into HR. Not sure about the specifics of what you are being scapegoated about so cannot provide further advice on how to fix this but, if you roll into an operations position or the business instead of HR it causes me concern. HR in most organizations large enough for a DEI role use that function to help across the board align staffing and role and compensation levels to work with all. I'm not sure what your mission statement is for DEI there but perhaps unnravel that and rework it into action items if you are to stay.

  11. Anonymous

    Leave. It is time. I worked at a place like this for way too long. Every time I turned around, I was being blamed for anything and everything they could find. Said I violated policy but would never state which one. Or if I said something that was wrong, they would never say what it was. Leave, find something else.

  12. Anonymous

    F that! Blame and shame? Are you all adults or children? Get out now.

  13. Mira Hornbeak

    RUN!! While I understand you may enjoy your job, you may need your job; however this toxic work environment is not good for your mental health! RUN…look elsewhere, if management co-signs the BS. Save yourself from years of truma.

  14. Rhonda Royal

    Yes, I have some advice. Leave the job right away. So many of the’higher ups’ and ‘key players’ know what’s happening there. Simply pass along your resume to other agencies and quietly make your leave. It’s for the best!

  15. Anonymous

    Where?

  16. Andre Jones

    Hey there, reading that felt like looking in a mirror from a couple of jobs ago. That whole "throw someone under the bus" meta is exhausting, it’s a full-time job just managing the politics and documenting everything so you don't get blindsided. It turns the whole place into a toxic PvP zone where HR are just GMs for the management's side. My strategy became playing the long game, quietly stacking my achievements and networking outside the company. It felt like making a risky batery bet on my own future, but it paid off when I finally found a crew that actually values teamwork. Keep your paper trail clean and start looking for your next lobby; you can't win a rigged game. All the best to you.

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