Something serious has been on mind: I’ve been navigating college as an adult and can’t get past the fact my life has the type of trauma that makes reinventing myself necessary and my strength, but I have a hard time networking with people and educators who actually understand where I am coming from which makes me concerned for the quality of our resources (and mine, since I’m considering moving).

10 Comments

1. Crystal HowellNovember 14,2022 at 2:10PM UTC

   Netwokking is hard, you just have to put yourself out there at the events, take a friend with you to just get started. Always talk about the person you are targeting, folks love talking about themselves, this way you can see what you have in common. It's just chattering, sipping on coffee or wine, more chatter, laughter and hopefully a card is given. Thank them for their time immediately, practice makes perfect. good luck

2. AnonymousNovember 14,2022 at 2:25PM UTC

   As an adult student finishing my degree currently, it was the best thing I could have done for myself! You can talk with an academic advisor they will help guide you. The educators who work with adult students appreciate you more than the traditional students. You have lived some life and can apply your experience to your studies. They don't need to fully understand or even know you, this is time to reinvent yourself. I hope it goes well!

3. Shelly EdwardsNovember 14,2022 at 2:29PM UTC

   Networking is hard for most people. My best advice would be to know your strengths both personally and professionally and lead with those. Downplay your weaker areas Put your best foot forward when meeting new people, but be authentic. People can ready phony a mile away and it almost never works out. No one can keep up the charade forever. So be your best self and let that shine through. You will find the right people gravitating toward you.

4. RenataNovember 14,2022 at 3:22PM UTC

   Networking is the absolute bain of my existence. I swear I'm not being dramatic lol. So here are a few tips I found worked for me over my 20+ years in multinational corporates.

   1. Master the art of communicating. Whether you are engaging educators, classmates or colleagues learn polite exit phrases like... excuse me I see someone I need to connect with...

   OR I need to find the ladies' room... OR excuse me I'll be right back... then exit the circle.

   2. Learn the art of strategic questions. Most people love to talk about their lives and their stuff. So ask a strategic question like ...So how did you come to enroll to study [blah blah] and then sit back and listen. Avoid the temptation to fill awkward pauses, just allow the conversation to happen.

   3. Listen for queues that will allow you to exit without seeming rude. this normally happens when the conversation has run its course and no new topic has been segwayed. This is a good opportunity to exist politely using any of the above if you want to.

   4. If you have to engage stick to topics you are comfortable talking about. Recognize that every time you push past your comfort zone you will get better at this. Who you are (individual terrified of networking) and the role you need to step into (confident, engaged professional) may need to be different and that's ok. We all need to fulfill roles in our lives and learning to do this competently and confidently takes time and it takes work.

   Accept that you may need to recover from a networking event. Take that time and be okay with not accepting every invitation to go out and meet new people.

5. Lydia TyburskiNovember 14,2022 at 4:26PM UTC

   You don't have to network, you just have to be a good person. Be open and honest with people, do good work and they will notice you automatically.

6. AnonymousNovember 14,2022 at 7:02PM UTC

   Do you think you studied the right courses for you? Your concern about not being able to network with the people and educators around you could be because you haven’t yet studied or had access to studying subject matter that you could truly be passionate about. I can kind of relate and being pushed to get certain grades and so on didn’t mean I was passionate about what I was as doing…. I took a certification course recently and had really smooth, authentic networking experiences come out of it.

7. AnonymousNovember 14,2022 at 7:17PM UTC

   I've found meeting people on common ground is usually the most comforting and productive. If you have no common ground to build on then find other connections where are can find commonality and build from there.

8. AnonymousNovember 15,2022 at 6:04PM UTC

   Theres so much to unpack in your post. I share the need to reinvent due to past struggles and working through challenges. Finding the right avenue where I can network with likeminded people has been a struggle. Being in the workforce for far too long at this point and more to go, what I wish someone had suggested in my time of study it would be that most people are uncomfortable networking. It’s not easy but we recognize it has to be done. There’s solidarity in that, but finding the right things that help YOU feel comfortable is key.

   Also, get a career coach to help navigate and find the areas where you can find likeminded people. There are quite a lot of resources out there in terms of whatever your budget is. There are very high quality career coaches out there than you do NOT need to spend an exorbitant amount.

   And finally, joining societies based on interest and passion is important. This keeps

   me engaged and motivated. Having done this now in the last 3ish years of my career, I have been able to establish good relationships with different people joined through overcoming challenges and empowering each other. There are societies and nonprofits that provide this kind of opportunity such as chambers of commerce in your city/state, employer resource groups, workforce societies, women’s specific groups, and even Toastmasters! Since there is a lot out there, finding a career coach is very helpful to navigate these opportunities.

   Good luck, you've got this.

9. Cynthia Armistead NewmanNovember 16,2022 at 1:26PM UTC

   I'm also completing my degree (at 56!). I've found joining interest groups at school to be very helpful in networking. I've also built a relationship with my academic advisor. My school (Western Governors University) is completely online, with very little interaction with instructors, but I've decided to make more of an effort to connect with instructors in the coming term.

10. Crystal HowellNovember 16,2022 at 8:03PM UTC

    I think Kim can help unravel things, her information is below.

    https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCDaZ8HMrJJkp_JpIzTbEaEA