I’m getting married soon, is this the right time to start a new job?

Anonymous

February 18,2023 at 4:25PM UTC

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I’m getting married soon, is this the right time to start a new job?

I have been at my job for almost two years and it’s been an unfulfilling and unchallenging experience. However, it’s really flexible, my team is supportive and I offer a lot of value for my team. I recently got an offer for a job at a diff organization, at a higher level that I think would really stretch me but I don’t think it will be as flexible as it is now. Now I get to dip out middle of the day to care for my parents and no one asks questions. At new job, it would just be harder to dip out in the middle of the day.

This feels like a great opportunity but I don’t know if it’s the right time with all the stuff that’s happening in my life. I’m getting married later this year and there really is so much time I’ll need to take off to take care of things! Plus I care for my parents.

I guess it’s a matter of figuring out if personal flexibility or career growth is more important. Wanted to see if anyone had any thoughts or ideas on how I should think about this to help me decide if I should stay or if I should go. Thanks in advance!

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AnonymousFebruary 18,2023 at 5:49PM UTC
I would stay where you are now and change directions later. It would be tough to get aclimated to a new job, prepare to marry and take care of parents at the same time, if you won't have the flexibility you do now. As as aside I hate how people (usually women) have to make career decisions based on juggling multiple roles.
AnonymousFebruary 20,2023 at 2:32PM UTC
The devil you know!!!!
AnonymousFebruary 20,2023 at 2:31PM UTC
I don’t think anybody can really give you advice on this.
people will kindly give you advice, but at the end of the day you have to do what’s in your best interest and feels right for you and only you.
AnonymousFebruary 20,2023 at 3:50PM UTC
I agree that only you could make this decision. Consider what the added stress would contribute to your already nearly overwhelmed state.
Kathleen HawkinsFebruary 21,2023 at 1:36PM UTC
Caring for elderly parent/parents is an exhausting balancing act. As they get older they will call you at work in a panic, falling, the can opener is on fire, can't get the sink to turn off, the health aide didn't show up. If you have a job that understands, consider yourself lucky.
AnonymousFebruary 21,2023 at 1:43PM UTC
I’ve had the opportunity to change jobs and join a company where I think I would be a better fit. My husband has some pretty serious health problems right now. I ended up staying with the job I know because they have been understanding and I’ve already proven myself to be hard working and reliable. I’m not certain I made the right decision, but each time I find myself having to take off time on short notice for an emergency, I am thankful I work for someone who understands.
Crystal HowellFebruary 21,2023 at 1:50PM UTC
You could dip out at lunch, or be honest with them. New start, husband, home is next, take it enjoy the money
AnonymousFebruary 21,2023 at 2:48PM UTC
Have a grown up conversation and ask the new company if they can provide that flexibility... no need to wonder. Either they will or they won't. If they can not, then it is probably not the right time to make such a move. The extra money will just go to paying someone else to care for your parents.
Ryann RedmondFebruary 21,2023 at 3:29PM UTC
Since you got an offer at the new company but are not necessarily unhappy in your current position, you have some leverage in making sure you're leaving for the right opportunity. You CAN have both personal flexibility and career growth but you have to know what that looks like and articulate it. I agree with one of the other posts, have a conversation with the new company. Caring for loved ones is something companies are becoming much more supportive of - maybe there is opportunity to help them move in that direction if they haven't already.
It also may be worth having a conversation with your current company so they know that employees appreciate flexibility but are looking for more growth opportunities. Companies do not want to lose great people and if they are, they want to know why so don't be afraid to speak up and share honest feedback.
Farah BajwaFebruary 21,2023 at 6:31PM UTC
I think you've answered your own question. If you don't have to depend on your paycheck to get by then you can afford more risk because it if ends up being inflexible or too much for you, then you can always quit.
Have you received the job offer yet? If not, maybe its worth waiting to see what the offer is and if it entices you enough to make the change. Since you seem to be close with your family, I'd encourage getting their opinion on this as well.
AnonymousFebruary 21,2023 at 8:42PM UTC
Time for the crystal ball. Predict the near future, wedding planning, honeymoon, taking care of parents, time off to settle into new marriage. There is your answer. Work life balance....hmmmmm