Toxic Positivity

Anonymous

March 9,2023 at 1:07AM UTC

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Toxic Positivity

I started getting exposed to this in my previous job. Morale was low because the business was not doing well. So we were told to remove anything in our workspace that was not "inspiring" or "uplifting". Okay, I can understand why the "Press for Service" mock button that's actually a mousetrap could turn some people off when they're just looking for an answer to a question. But no Garfield "I Hate Mondays" posters?

My current job has stuff posted everywhere. Live Laugh Love. Good Vibes Only. Volumes of books with an inspirational quote for each day. And no critique of anything. Not even a talk around the water cooler about what silly thing The Boss said the other day. With the posters and the silence, it feels more like a weak copy of North Korea. We will prevail, Great Leader! Even if it takes massive unpaid overtime and no lunch breaks!

Please, share your experiences with toxic positivity!

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AnonymousMarch 9,2023 at 3:38AM UTC
I wish my office was positive. It’s so toxic and I wish we had morale.
AnonymousMarch 9,2023 at 11:54AM UTC
Being positive and having morale are not the same thing. Good morale is a product of its environment. If you're in a bad environment, cute slogans do nothing.
Maybe my point is that positivity can be faked. You can put on a happy face but still be dead inside.
Fake positivity also has a habit of burying real problems because nobody wants to bring them up.
If your workplace is positive, they don't have to go to great lengths to prove it. Because people already feel good about themselves and their work.
AnonymousMarch 9,2023 at 1:20PM UTC
YOU could be THAT person of positivity. Just saying.
AnonymousMarch 12,2023 at 4:50AM UTC
Unfortunately I’m the odd man out and it’s been going on for 3 years.
AnonymousMarch 12,2023 at 11:09AM UTC
Then BE that. Being positive is free, worse case scenario your nickname could be "Polly Pureheart". People don't need excuses to be positive, or one with hope.
AnonymousMarch 13,2023 at 2:28AM UTC
I agree. I can try my best.
AnonymousMarch 9,2023 at 1:19PM UTC
I don't think it's toxic. The company owns the entire space you work in and their ideas of decoration is what matters. And who doesn't like positivity? This world needs to see the joy even in the times of trouble, even in business. Also, attaching this to North Korea, isn't even close to what those people are experiencing. To me, it sounds like someone identified the criticisms going on in the office could be affecting the growth in the business. Debbie Downers No More! It's healthy Vibes Only! Love that for you!
AnonymousMarch 9,2023 at 11:31PM UTC
Yeah but interpreting "we can't put the art supplies in front of the fire escape" as a "downer" leads to problems. I have no issue with being positive; I have an issue with ignoring problems. I've seen it often used as an excuse not to handle real issues. They'd sooner ignore a fire hazard than just admit it's a problem and put up a happy "Keep this Area Clear!" sign. I think part of it also is people not wanting to admit they screwed up.
AnonymousMarch 10,2023 at 12:40PM UTC
I'm sorry I missed that fire escape part of your concern. I agree a simple sign would be a great suggestion.
AnonymousMarch 9,2023 at 3:33PM UTC
Is it possible that you perceive this as "contrived" because of the forced positivity at your previous job? Are people called out if they complain or criticize the boss? I put up inspirational posters at the last place I managed because I felt it would uplift the clients and the staff. Communication back and forth, both positive and negative, was welcome and encouraged. I was always open to new ideas if they would make our jobs easier. It didn't go to the extreme you describe here, but you may be in a great workplace where most people love their jobs and are just looking for the other "shoe to drop."
AnonymousMarch 9,2023 at 11:36PM UTC
I think the main issue, is that the person putting up the decorations and promoting positivity, is the same person that spreads nasty gossip and attempted wage theft.
We do have parts of the organization where the positivity is real. But it came there organically, as a result of hiring the right people. It wasn't taught or introduced.
And yes, communication is key. Maybe it's not so much an issue with positivity, than it is hushing up anything potentially negative.
Joyce Breitweiser HallMarch 11,2023 at 2:32PM UTC
I think you’ve found the point. The toxic positivity is used to hush anything potentially negative. You can’t have a great organization if you can’t address wage theft and nasty gossip and that’s the point. The promoters of the positivity are using it so they can get away with bad behavior.
AnonymousMarch 10,2023 at 3:03PM UTC
Oh my! My last job prior to retirement/career switching was with a woman who was all about joy, glitter, and sunflowers. But in her weekly 2-3 hour long staff meetings, the sky was constantly falling! Budget woes oh my!
One misstep (or perceived misstep) by one of her direct reports led to toxic email or verbal communications from her. I witnessed her make executive level peers cry in meetings. Once you "disappointed" her, you might never be able to get back on her good side-- and if she didn't like someone they could NEVER get on her good side. And her favorites could never do anything wrong.
When we left those meetings, our job was to spread joy and happiness to all. So, yeah, toxic positivity abounded.
AnonymousMarch 11,2023 at 4:01PM UTC
Years ago I worked for a nonprofit organization at which upper management were allabout positivity. I was a newer and had a very different perspective and felt it was the way of pushing aside concern about their horrible management. In a meeting about how to show a sponsor (I’m in fundraising) that we met the terms of our agreement, a colleague suggested we tel them something that was basically a lie. I expressed my concern a little too bluntly- something along the lines of “we can’t do that, it’s unethical” and was told “you’re being negative.” I literally got up, walked out of the meeting, and went home. I had no intention of ever going back. I was privileged to be in a situation where I could have afforded it. My boss, who was present and kind of stuck in the middle of this sh*tstorm, talked me into coming back. The coworker was asked to apologize to me and we did not use the info for the sponsors. Boss and I were both gone is six months on to better opportunities. Within a year the upper management, and the the staff member who told me I being negative, were laid off because the board finally figured out that all their toxic positivity was a cover for their inabilities. I consider myself a pragmatic person and am often labeled as negative, usually for trying to address issues.
AnonymousMarch 12,2023 at 12:27PM UTC
Anyone who says 'there's no " I " in t-e-a-m.'
Time to retire that chestnut.
AnonymousMarch 12,2023 at 1:03PM UTC
If anyone gripes about “negativity” I immediately know I’m not speaking to a serious person. Even “positivity” for that matter. New Age baloney.
AnonymousMarch 12,2023 at 9:55PM UTC
I get it. My job is the same. For the most part it is a good environment and most people are generally positive but realistic. However there's a select group who are all about that toxic positivity that is just to ignore any problems.
I personally just ignore those people as much as I'm able. Any communications I need to have with them are via email. And I stay out of their way. I simple No and I walk away. You gotta look out for your mental health.