Addressing the Boss:

29 Comments

1. AnonymousSeptember 13,2022 at 8:44PM UTC

   I would ask him if you two can set aside some 1:1 time a couple times a week to touch based. No phones or screens.

   That way you are not monopolizing his time but create space to work together.

2. AnonymousSeptember 15,2022 at 4:48PM UTC

   This. You aren't going to change that habit. It isn't your job to manage, micro-manage, or ANY kind of manage him. If he's a year away from retirement and has worked with the owner that long, the owner is obviously cool with the status quo. Work around it until it goes away or think about another role.

3. Debra SesholtzSeptember 13,2022 at 10:23PM UTC

   I’m not sure it will do much good to address his social media habits, especially if he is on his way out the door. Agree with previous comment about scheduling time on his calendar rather than just stopping by to speak with him. Hopefully with specific dates and times set on his calendar, he’ll give you his undivided attention. You could even think about short 10 minute daily catch-up meeting first thing in the morning before he gets too far into his day.

4. AnonymousSeptember 13,2022 at 11:01PM UTC

   And to add to this awesome advice: have a plan of a few (top 5?) Items to discuss.
   He's probably "over it" (I don't blame him!)

   I'd draft email as / similar to --

   "Good morning - are you available xx/xx? It's month-end (or whatever) and I'd like to review 1, 2, .... before we close out. This should take ____ minutes of your time.

   If xx/xx isn't a convenient time, please provide the best opportunity to meet. Otherwise, please confirm your availability

   Thanks, Jane"

   If nothing else, he knows what you need and MAYBE he can address the issues in a reply. You get what you need and he can stay on Facebook!!

5. AnonymousSeptember 13,2022 at 10:49PM UTC

   He sounds bored out of his mind.

6. AnonymousSeptember 15,2022 at 1:25PM UTC

   I would say it sounds more like he's already disengaged from caring about work, especially if he's moving towards retirement. I had a manager like this, announced he was retiring almost 3 yrs before he actually left. That last 18 months was just a complete waste. Could not get him to engage on anything and he spent most of his time badmouthing everyone around him. Then he wondered why people wouldn't listen to him when he had something important to say.

7. Joan Williams, Senior Talent Acquisition SpecialistSeptember 14,2022 at 6:13AM UTC

   I would recommend you stop covering for him .

   If you let him experience the consequences of his inaction and neglect, he might have less time on his hands for cruising the internet.

8. AnonymousSeptember 14,2022 at 2:44PM UTC

   Is there a social media policy at your place of business? Is there an HR rep?

9. AnonymousSeptember 14,2022 at 6:07PM UTC

   No, I perform the minimal HR tasks myself. We do have a social media policy, which strictly prohibits the use of socials (including text, calls, photos, videos) during your shift.

10. AnonymousSeptember 14,2022 at 8:33PM UTC

    Does the GM know about that policy and understand leading by example? I am guessing not and that just plain sucks. Is there a way to approach a conversation about this that you are comfortable with?

11. AnonymousSeptember 16,2022 at 11:37AM UTC

    He does not care to lead by example, no matter how long someone insists that they do, actions always speak louder than words.

12. AnonymousSeptember 16,2022 at 7:49PM UTC

    agree

13. G C HesseSeptember 16,2022 at 12:28PM UTC

    Seems very antiquated policy since Cell Phones and text is the accepted mode of communication.

14. JenniferSeptember 15,2022 at 3:04AM UTC

    Is your boss scrolling Facebook WHILE you're trying to talk to him, or are you not "interrupting" him because he's on Facebook? Either way, I wouldn't mention social media specifically. The issue is that he's not accessible or responsive enough for you to get what you need in a timely manner.

    If you're not approaching him because he's on socials, go ahead an interrupt him! Knock on the door/cubicle wall and say something like "Hey, boss. I need to talk to you about/have a question about/need to get your thoughts on X. Is now a good time?" It can also be helpful to qualify when it's a quick item. "Do you have three minutes for a quick question about X?" If he says no, give the relative urgency and impact of the item and ask when he'll be free. We can't begin production until/We'll miss client's delivery date unless/The workers are threatening to strike/etc.

    If he's not paying attention when you're talking to him because he's browsing socials, stop and say "I'm sorry, is this a bad time?"

    For general accessibility and responsiveness, ask him the best way to communicate with him on time sensitive issues. "I understand that you're busy and aren't always able to respond to emails same day. What's the best way to communicate with you about time-sensitive issues so we can avoid production delays and customer dissatisfaction?" Phone call? Office messaging app? Text? Using the "High importance" email categorization?

    If you have worked for your boss for a while and have a good relationship, you could just be (politely) direct about it. "I've had trouble consistently getting a hold of you lately, and it's started to impact operations. [Give a couple of examples.] How can I best partner with you to improve communication and avoid issues like this moving forward?"

    Good luck

15. JJSeptember 15,2022 at 4:50AM UTC

    So you want to tell your boss to get off his phone? I feel like there is a bigger issue here than needs to be explored.

16. Kristie WhiteSeptember 15,2022 at 1:31PM UTC

    I would schedule time with him once a day to address issues unless the issue needs immediate attention. You may not need time with him, but it will warn him that you need his attention. At this stage of his career, he is already partially checked out based on your description and he is killing time. Also - if he is not much help already - you and the Owner need to be discussing and planning for the succession and adjustment of his position. You should proactively ask to have a meeting with your boss and the Owner to discuss how to make the transition - what steps should be in the works? How can you help? Should you be including the Owner in the issues so the two of you begin to develop a working relationship? You may not get anywhere, but at least you have tried. The worst case is they haven't thought about it at all.

17. AnonymousSeptember 16,2022 at 1:17PM UTC

    Love this answer/approach. I would add that this is something that takes finesse, not a bull in the china shop/air all your grievances approach. If you want to take over for your boss then the owner will have to enjoy working with you. I’m assuming you are very competent but don’t overlook the importance of social and peer to peer relationships. Best of luck to you!!

18. Kristie WhiteSeptember 16,2022 at 6:43PM UTC

    Great Point!!

19. GirlBossanova934974September 16,2022 at 12:37PM UTC

    After several decades of experience, my conclusion is just to leave things the way things are and forget about it. The boss is heading out the door in a year or less. Maybe less if he finds a good hobby on Facebook? One has to be selective on how to spend one's political capital. There are going to be too many things likely to pop up in the next year where you're going to have to spend some political capital with the business owner when you arrive there. I am a business owner myself. I have an employee that I pay part time who doesn't do much for me. But he does pay his way. In the last few years, I have become more keenly aware that one has to pick one's battles very carefully.

20. Cyndy TrivellaSeptember 16,2022 at 12:40PM UTC

    Your boss is showing signs of Quiet Quitting.

21. Kate VonDerheideSeptember 16,2022 at 1:01PM UTC

    This is more than that… he is just checked out.
    Quiet quitting is the same as working to rule, no longer going above and beyond and keeping within the 4 corners of your job description. The OPs boss isn’t even doing his job.

22. AnonymousSeptember 18,2022 at 1:41PM UTC

    never heard that term before..!

23. AnonymousSeptember 16,2022 at 12:44PM UTC

    I know what it is like to not be listened to or taken seriously. Is that the type of culture that you think you can really change if it goes to the top? I would ride it out until his retirement if you can, but I don't think anything will change until then. He has already checked out.

    I have been in a situation where there is so much rampant nepotism that the entire upper-management was allowed to do as they wished at a small company. They came and went as they pleased. It was a very toxic, codependent situation and they did not trust us to do our jobs. I left, found someplace closer to home, with less direct reports, with a third of the work, making three times more, and much less headaches.

    There was a mass exodus after me that caused them to lose the company. Years later, they bought part of it back, but the toxic President and CEO were cut out along with his family. The other shareholders own it now. They aren't much better, but it is an improvement.

    I wish you the best.

24. AnonymousSeptember 16,2022 at 1:07PM UTC

    Sounds like someone is on auto-pilot until that retirement. They already know they’re done.

    I would ask myself what I hope to accomplish? Are you trying to change his behavior or would it be more beneficial if you had the required authority to handle things and an additional hire to ease the load?

25. ReachingGoalsSeptember 16,2022 at 1:49PM UTC

    He has checked out and there isn't a lot you can do about it except wait it out for him to leave or find another job. Can you meet with owner and discuss strategies for handling when your boss leaves and maybe throw in easing into the job now? that isn't "ratting" anyone out, but showing that you give a crap about the company and smooth transitions.

26. KathySeptember 16,2022 at 3:48PM UTC

    At this point, rather than managing your boss, it's time you start making the decisions your self. Document your decisions with an email or emails and send them to your manager.

    Start looking for a new and better job. Once your boss retires it's difficult to predict what will happen. By rights you should be promoted to his position but depending on the company, that may not happen. Often times women are not treated with the respect they deserve, especially in a small company.

27. Audrey KirschSeptember 16,2022 at 8:48PM UTC

    This is not behavior that you're likely to change so you need to find a way to work without the boss's input. I realize that it can be frustrating. I once worked at a manufacturing company. The owner was often napping in his office while his 2 grown children were supposed to be running the show. The daughter - in charge of marketing- only came in occasionally and her brother - in charge of engineering and design - was usually locked up in his office doing who knows what and was often unapproachable. Everyone else had to learn to take control of their departments, work with the bosses when they happened to be available but be independent enough to call the shots when they weren't.

28. Billy ArmstrongSeptember 17,2022 at 2:40PM UTC

    I had some argue with my boss 2 days ago. Will shortly describe. I am working as an HR manager and I do some extra work I haven`t do, but can`t refuse. I asked my boss to buy a subscribition to a https://www.outlooktransfer.com/how-to-transfer-thunderbird-emails-to-outlook/ migrate thunderbird to outlook tool, as it hepls me a lot and would make my work easier, but he said we don`t have enough money to buy such a thing. Then I say he should hire a person who will do that work for me. And you know what? He really decided to hire such a person. Oh god, I asked for it for monthes, why doees it happen only now?

29. AnonymousSeptember 20,2022 at 1:20PM UTC

    Sadly a boss can be wrong as two left feet but you can never coach up. What you can do is politely interrupt when he's on social media and sadly when it comes to emails, pop your head in his office and give a nudge or gentle reminder about the email(s) that were sent that are in need of review.

    The other options are to freshen up the resume and look elsewhere, control what you can control, and do what you need to get what you want.

    Best of luck to you!