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Seeking some advice on a toxic boss -

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Anonymous

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Seeking some advice on a toxic boss - I have recently joined a company where 70% people are Asian. I’m not and often been kept out of leadership discussions as they are in their language. My boss doesn’t give clear directions around what he needs to be accomplished and when I ask clarifying questions he gets irritated and makes comments such as “ you are not a five year old”. He keeps changing priorities and gives directions without thinking. I manage a team and I try to be as specific with them as possible. My team keeps getting frustrated becuaee of frequent changes in priority and blame for not showing enough backbone. What should I do

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  1. Anonymous

    After each conversation where he provides direction, you email him outlining your understanding if his direction in excruciating detail so there is a paper trail and he can correct your understanding if it is not correct. YOU must provide clarity and detail to your team, therfore you must gain that from him.

  2. Anonymous

    If communication is a problem I’d seek work elsewhere. It’s not going to change based on his reply. He sounds very hard to work for and his responsibility is to support you.

  3. Anonymous

    You can’t fix this. Start looking for a new job

  4. Anonymous

    I'm sorry this is happening to you. Middle management hell. In this scenario, there is no incentive for you.

    Ask yourself, knowing the culture and the two groups you represent (leadership and your team), what does your skillset/ your gut tell you what's best? Do that.

    I'd recommend you leave (as you're in a culture where they won't change for you). It won't get better for you.

    Whether you stay or leave, do your best to seek clarification. Be persistent. Put it on them. They may not like you for it and may start to act like a toddler, but get what you need. Don't be afraid of them.

    You could also adopt the philosophy of "ask for forgiveness and not permission." Start doing what your team thinks is best. If they lay you off, ah well.

    The alternative is just to do what they say when they say it. Pivot a lot. Try that for a short while. See if it's good or bad.

    Document everything. Do what you can to learn the language. Good luck.

  5. Anonymous

    I’m sorry this is happening to you. I would look elsewhere. Toxic isn’t worth it.

  6. Anonymous

    Not sure why saying it's 'Asian' matters, OR are you trying to translate that to, they are a Asian Country based company? etc. concerned.

  7. Anonymous

    They have an office in the US which has 70% asian population. They do have offices outside of the US in Asia.

  8. Anonymous

    Sounds like many levels of communicaton problems. Since learning any language to the point of business proficiency takes years, this may not be the right job for you. You'll never be included in leadership meetings, for one thing.

    If there are good aspects to the job, do try talking to your boss about your needs. If it doesn't help, resume the job search and good luck.

  9. Anonymous

    I agree with those who say to find another job. I recommend staying neutral, do your job, but seek a new position with another company.

  10. Anonymous

    Disappointing.

  11. Anonymous

    Growth.

  12. Anonymous

    It's time to seek another job where you can get respected.

  13. Anonymous

    Cautinary mindsets when there's a pushback on empowerment. I can see this frustration.

  14. Anonymous

    Or educated. It's up to your interpretation. fyi, not GPT AI at all.

  15. Anonymous

    just because you don't agree with someone it's very petty to point out a simple spelling error. Wish you well.

  16. Anonymous

    Correct and so does this person who responded. Wow, this is really getting to some of you on this when someone has perhaps a high level opinion. High level doesn't mean superior, fyi. It was a simple pov wondering to seek clarification. This is too much of a distraction I can tell, apologies.

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