Dreading the upcoming “I quit” convo with my boss, because I like her so much as a person.

Anonymous

May 10,2022 at 4:55PM UTC

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Dreading the upcoming “I quit” convo with my boss, because I like her so much as a person. Advice?

hey! after a or of deliberation, I’ve decided to accept a job offer at another company. The opportunity took me by surprise (they came to me), and it’s also a lot more money and better benefits than I have now. It’s also an opportunity to be part of a company that can help get me closer to the part of my industry I’d like to be in.

I had a lot of resistance about accepting it. I’ve been so comfortable at my current job (great team, boss, work/life, etc). but I also know I’ve really gotten everything I can out of it. the new job isn’t my “dream job,” but as I wrote above it’s more money, better benefits, and while it’s on the same side of the industry my current job is, it’s a large company that also encompasses other sides of the business. So, I figure, if I “have” to be on this side of the business for a while longer (since even if I declined this job and applied heavily, there’s no guarantee when the next offer comes in), why not make more money and learn more?

I also made sure the new job would offer me similar flexibility to what I have now.

that said, I really love my current boss and am dreading the inevitable “I quit” conversation more than I ever have previously. I’d like to think she’ll be happy for me, but I’m sure she’s not expecting it.

honestly, while I don’t want to turn down a fresh opportunity, I’m still nervous about actually leaving (fear of the unknown, some imposter syndrome, etc) Any advice on handling this conversation with a boss who’s come to mean a lot?

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AnonymousMay 10,2022 at 5:11PM UTC
Yes, please give her the benfit of the doubt and recognize that she is a great professional and, I'm assuming, she is a great human being and wishes the best for those she cares about.
I think you need to realize that you are projecting your concerns onto the situation. But, and this is important, growing and success is part of a great career. No one stays in one place for 15 years. You simply can't grow and advance your career.
So while you care for your boss, you are responsible for your career and personal growth and this move is a responsible step towards that goal.
Julie HumbirdMay 10,2022 at 5:19PM UTC
I've been there. I referred my last Manager to his position. He left a company he had been with for 15 years to come manage our Team. Then I was offered my dream job. I sent my resignation via email and copied HR. I was very brief but did include gratitude, praise and a comment something like "Please let me know how I can reduce the impact my departure may cause your Team". I then scheduled 30 minutes or my "Exit Planning". He asked if I wanted to discuss a counter-offer. I thanked him (again) and reiterated the opportunity was what I am seeking.
Side note: As you know a counter-offer almost never includes better benefits. I focus on the 'total compensation' and for me benefits represent $35K of my annual compensation.
Sophie JoernMay 10,2022 at 5:20PM UTC
Oh this is a tough one, I feel for you! Congrats on the new opportunity that is so exciting! These conversations are never easy, but ultimately your boss will be happy for you in the long run. It is never easy losing a great employee, but I am sure she had similar opportunities in her lifetime and will understand your decision. I would ask her for a sit down conversation versus something on the spot so she has a little time to prepare. Come to the meeting prepared with your written resignation letter but start by giving your notice verbally. Once the conversation is in motion a huge weight will be lifted and the hardest part will be over :) best of luck with your meeting and new job!
AnonymousMay 10,2022 at 5:59PM UTC
Thank you! I should’ve noted this in my original post, but we’re still working from home so it will be a virtual meeting.
Joan Williams, Senior Talent Acquisition SpecialistMay 10,2022 at 11:33PM UTC
I promise you, neither your boss nor your team members have ever, WILL ever say "gee, I'd love to take this great new job, but I would feel so guilty leaving anonymous."
Never. Going. To. Happen.
They'll get over it. Trust me on that.
Do NOT let any of this bother you or give it one single second more of bandwidth in your brain. Forget about it - don't look back, use your energy to look forward to the exciting new opportunity you have in front of
you.
GOOD LUCK ON YOUR NEW ADVENTURE!!!!!!
AnonymousMay 11,2022 at 9:47PM UTC
If she is a real friend she will be supportive and understanding. If not, sometimes good things come to an end. You can forge new bonds at the new gig. Your life is a journey and you should not stay where you have outgrown.