How do I not feel bad about leaving my job?

Anonymous

December 19,2022 at 11:33PM UTC

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How do I not feel bad about leaving my job? I started my current job about a year and a half ago and I’ve been basically miserable almost every day that I’ve worked there. After years of searching for a new job (the job I am quitting I took in desperation, not because I was excited about it). I had already been job searching for years when my current employer offered my a job. Upon starting my current job, I immediately knew it was a bad fit and started looking elsewhere but didn’t have any luck until today.

But, per usual for me, now I’m starting to feel bad about quitting, even though there’s no way I could not take the new job I was offered and stay where I am!

how do I feel ok with doing what is best for me and not my employer??

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AnonymousDecember 20,2022 at 1:45AM UTC
Don’t feel bad because employers will always do what’s best for them.
AnonymousDecember 20,2022 at 2:44AM UTC
I guess you try and feel less bad for yourself?
AnonymousDecember 20,2022 at 2:58AM UTC
Do what is best for you! Like you, I started a job I didn’t want, and have been miserable ever since. If you have any opportunity to leave -take it!
Joan Williams, Senior Talent Acquisition SpecialistDecember 20,2022 at 4:13AM UTC
Bad about what? Wanting a better job? That company could lay you off tomorrow and never think twice about it.
I promise you, neither your boss nor your team members have ever, WILL ever say "gee, I'd love to take this great new job, but I would feel so guilty leaving anonymous."
Never. Going. To. Happen.
They'll get over it. Trust me on that.
You have to do what makes you happy. Well, first you have to believe you deserve to be happy.
Which it sounds like you don't really believe that. I'm not a therapist so I'm not trying to give you medical advice - but from re-reading your post, it sounds like something you could/should work on. Why you don't seem to believe you deserve to be happy - why it's ok for you to do what's best for you.
You're only as miserable as you let other people make you and not for nothing, but you sound miserable in that job.
Do NOT let any of this bother you or give it one single second more of bandwidth in your brain. Forget about it - don't look back, use your energy to look forward to the exciting new opportunity you have in front of you.
GOOD LUCK ON YOUR NEW ADVENTURE!!!!!!
AnonymousDecember 20,2022 at 1:29PM UTC
many years ago at one of my first jobs I was completely dedicated, and I remember my father telling me you’re just a number on a time clock, if they want to get rid of you'll be gone in a heartbeat. I didn’t agree with him then but many years later, I totally agree. It’s unfortunate but these days business isn’t as committed to employees as it may have been years ago, there may be a handful of employers that are an exception to the rule, but most people will do what’s best for them and best for their career and best for their work life balance, good luck
I know because I’ve witnessed recent trends and the new culture as a recruiter and I understand why people do what they have to do.
AnonymousDecember 20,2022 at 3:12PM UTC
This is definitely something I struggled with mostly because, at the root of it, I cared about what people thought of me. Still do about 20% lol. working on it. Do what's best for you and understand you can't control how people or companies feel about you leaving. I'm pretty sure they will move on just fine and sounds like you are better off without them. Think of this as an act of self love and self care for your overall life. Don't let a company take that away from you.
AnonymousDecember 20,2022 at 11:55PM UTC
I think you have to get to a point where you value yourself more than a company that doesn't fit you.
AnonymousDecember 21,2022 at 2:17AM UTC
You can’t bring your best to your current employer because the job and the company are a bad fit for you.
By moving on, you give your current company the opportunity to find a new employee who will be a great fit. Your exit also gives an opportunity to the person who will replace you.
Your leaving is a win for you, your current company and the person who will step into your current job.
EPDecember 21,2022 at 8:22AM UTC
Knowing that they’ll have you replaced in a nano second. Life goes on.
AnonymousDecember 21,2022 at 5:43PM UTC
It's growth and a need to move forward in your career. There's nothing to feel bad about unless there is a lot you didn't share in your post.
Joanna PoeDecember 26,2022 at 4:26AM UTC
Been there. There were red flags in the interview process, but I'd been laid off and had to accept the position once offered or give back 10+ weeks of unemployment. Ask yourself how bad they'd feel about laying you off if things took a negative turn? It's a business transaction, and you are doing what is best for you.
AnonymousJanuary 5,2023 at 9:24PM UTC
Really surprised because I do not feel any regret leaving an organization. Businesses fire, term, restructure all the time without missing a beat. If you can leave for something better, money, body and or mind, do it!