I’m not sure I’m going to make it

52 Comments

1. AnonymousJune 2,2023 at 12:32AM UTC

   First, prioritize your health above all else.

   Next figure out what resources are available to you to help you through. That means treat this as a crisis. Since you are trying to hang on while you job search, you need to find a way to prioritize your health, then your job search (which is super stressful) then doing the bare minimum to hold your current position. This is a health crisis so you need a boatload of doctor's appointments, therapist appointments, days to rest in bed. You figure out what's available to you and where you can demand support.

2. AnonymousJune 2,2023 at 5:48AM UTC

   Thank you for this. I appreciate the point of view that this is a crisis. I’ve white knuckled through my mental health for so long and found help and for minimally better, and now with this job it’s backsliding again. Even reading through my own post was exhausting. It’s too much and I just got there. I’ve barely been there three months.

3. Rachel ScaerJune 2,2023 at 3:10PM UTC

   Work 9-5 and do what you can in that time. These people just want to use you. Stay firm in your decision to only work 9-5, and anyone who disagrees with you is trying to take advantage. You don't owe a job your life.

4. AnonymousJune 2,2023 at 4:35PM UTC

   Thank you. I stood my ground in our meeting today. I’m reaching out to contacts to make moves happen asap. My manager is a smile in your face and work you to death type.

5. AnonymousJune 4,2023 at 1:00PM UTC

   Please please read my comment above. I strongly feel you need to get this situation on the books with your physician in case you need to make the decision to leave your position so that you will still get unemployment if doc feels your health is at risk if you continue to stay, or quiting at doc's recommendation. Also, be sure to follow up all verbal conversations you have with anyone in regards to this to "recap" just in case you need proof of that information later. Be sure if using work email to BCC your personal email as well just in case you're let go for any reason and unable to access your work email in the future. Best of luck!

6. AnonymousJune 4,2023 at 11:43PM UTC

   Thank you. Yes I’m going to get this on record tomorrow with my psychiatrist. My therapist is already aware I have a doctor’s note for my PCP asking for an additional telework day for reasonable accommodation. I talked to the ADA coordinator last Friday and I might as well have been talking to a wall. Someone mentioned Ask JAN and I will check that out as a resource. I should be able to do my job 9-5 and go home. This office wants people to volunteer for events on the weekend all the time and this grant was my last straw. I barely got in the door, no training, hardly any time to learn my own program before I got put onto this. My manager and I are not compatible as far as I’m concerned. Thank you for you input.

7. AnonymousJune 2,2023 at 5:22PM UTC

   Only work the hours that you need to to do the basics of the job you were hired for. As an alternative if the stress is just too much see if you can get a leave of absence to repair your psyche. If you've been put into a role that does not suit you at all then perhaps push back gently and let them know that without training you cannot do those things and will focus on the ones you can accomplish. If you keep working 24/7 they will start to expect that. Take care of yourself and if you need to look for something new use misalignment as the reason when you speak to new employers.

8. Dave ObertingJune 4,2023 at 12:42PM UTC

   Exactly what you're doing. Put 80% of your efforts into finding that new job. DON'T QUIT UNTIL YOU HAVE THE NEW JOB IN HAND. If you get fired for slacking off, so be it, but don't quit. Have you heard startups talk about MVP? Minimum viable product. What can you get on the street and sell. You're going to MVE it. Minimum viable effort. Do as little as possible to avoid getting fired while you complete your search...

9. AnonymousJune 4,2023 at 11:37PM UTC

   Yep, I pushed back on Friday and said I would not be working this weekend. I kicked my search into high gear. MVP for the win.

10. AnonymousJune 4,2023 at 12:43PM UTC

    Your mental health comes first. You need to get in to see the doc and psych immediately. If they feel you shouldn't be working due to the stress of the position, depending on the state you will still be eligible for unemployement even if you decide to quit the position because you left on doctor recommendation. Research the laws in your state, or flat out call and ask the unemployment office and weight your options, but this could give you time to job search while taking care of yourself.

    Additionally, be sure that you're getting paid for ALL hours worked. If you're unable to complete the job in your normally scheduled hours be sure to email, not verbally call, to let your manager know you're not able to work outside of your scheduled paid hours without compensation. This is law in Illinois, it is illegal for them to knowingly allow you to work or expect you to work unpaid. Make sure you follow up all "calls/verbal" conversations with emails to recap for written proof just in case.

11. AnonymousJune 4,2023 at 12:49PM UTC

    I have worked star government most of my life. You should NOT be working any extra hours with out compensation. If they are asking for that or you feel that is the case then you need to get in writing from your Director and ask them which project they want you to complete. You do need to keep track on paper/calendar what you do during the day but unless approved you shouldn’t be working outside those hours. It irritates me to no end that supervisors give that vine off. Like someone else said do the minimum, you already don’t get paid enough working for the state.

12. AnonymousJune 5,2023 at 12:11AM UTC

    Thank you. I’m keep a running email with her, the Director, and the admin. Of course they haven’t responded or said anything.

13. AnonymousJune 4,2023 at 12:53PM UTC

    Use chatgpt to write your first draft of the grant. You can feed in the doc that describes what the grant is about then ask it to write it. You could also feed in a previous grant proposal your org has written and ask it to write in that style. Keep in mind anything you feed in is going to a public system so if it is sensitive or classified don’t feed in thr docs.

    I would also look into EMDR or EFT for therapy. Talk therapy doesn’t tend to get the results that these therapies do.

    When I’m crisis you can do this ETF to bring your anxiety down. You’ll need to look up the tapping points https://insig.ht/I4Q9jsebmAb

    you got this!!

14. AnonymousJune 4,2023 at 11:35PM UTC

    Thank you. I definitely used chatGPT for the first draft and it still took nights and weekends to push it through. I certainly haven’t told them I used it. I don’t plan to be there by the time the decision comes back about this grant. I also really, really dislike that I have to include a summary of my resume in it. That’s not anything I’ve had to do in a job before and it’s certainly not in the job description. They overstep every boundary they can in this office and act as if it’s normal. I dread dealing with them tomorrow. Will just keep my head down and get through this day by day.

15. Jessica FerlandJune 4,2023 at 1:01PM UTC

    I work for state government and we are unionized. If you are too, you can request help from your union rep.

16. AnonymousJune 5,2023 at 12:22AM UTC

    Hoping I’m not revealing too much but I’m in the one office that isn’t unionized yet. That’s probably why my manager thinks she can get away with this.

17. steph PJune 4,2023 at 1:10PM UTC

    “And this patience is proof that we are strong. And this proof gives us hope.”

    ‭‭Romans‬ ‭5‬:‭4‬ ‭ERV‬‬

    i plead the blood of Jesus of you and this situation God bless you

18. GirlBossanova934974June 4,2023 at 1:27PM UTC

    As a former federal procurement officer, I am having a hard time figuring out what is going on here. Why haven't you taken some old grants as written by members of the current staff and done some editing? It appears that there are two members of the staff who probably have a good stack of old funded grants that may be of some help here. I would ask them, hey Joe, do you have any experience with getting grants funded by such and such agency? Get the Google Doc or MS Word file sent over for 2-3 of them and just starting red-lining and changing them. The boiler plate of the doc will probably be the same. Once you have a draft, go over and see Joe and tell him to look it over. I think the biggest problem is that you convinced yourself that you do NOT have grant writing experience AND you have to do everything from scratch. There are also plenty of very good YOUTUBE videos on grant writing. Working at odd hours of the night is a poor idea. You have to be fresh and ready to go to do this sort of work. Editing is key! Last but not least, you need a new perspective on this topic. You are applying for a grant which you openly admit you are unlikely to get since your program really does NOT fit within the SCOPE of the grant requirements. So do YOUR BEST and move on. You started with a low chance of success and your managers probably understand that fairly well. Expectations are low. The organization is NOT counting on this grant. Neither should you!

19. AnonymousJune 4,2023 at 3:05PM UTC

    Well said!

20. AnonymousJune 4,2023 at 11:28PM UTC

    I could have added a few other details, but they are very much counting on this grant, especially with tax revenues from corporate offices being down due to WFH as they claim. I got copies of other grants which only had one program, my manager wanted two grants in one to be done by someone with no experience. I didn’t push this on them. I got ahead of it, brought it up, did what she asked me to do which is email the Director, and kept doing my work. My manager brought this up in our biweekly one on ones. Why the hell would I want to take on work when I’m already underpaid as a government worker? Tbh, I think my manager just wanted gloating rights, this was her ego to be “better” than other teams that decided not to do it. She’s the type to smile in your face and work you to death. She could’ve just as easily made a damn decision a month earlier. But best believe they won’t get any extra work out of me after this is over. I plan to leave asap with this kind of ineptitude and time mismanagement.

21. Crista ZivanovicJune 4,2023 at 1:28PM UTC

    I am not clear why you kept pushing for a decision on the grant. No one seemed interested in getting it, yet you persisted. I get you were being conscientious, but you put it on the radar. You did your part; why did you keep badgering them? I don’t blame the others for not wanting any part of it. Plus, now you’re upset they want to tie it to another project where it doesn’t fit. But try to see it from their perspective - they probably felt now that they approved it, they had to justify it. I am not beating up on you. You seem thorough and conscientious. But, having been a manager, I sed it from their view as well. They didn’t want to appear not interested in the grant, because, bad optics for a manager, but maybe they couldn’t tell you that outright and thought it would just go away. Once it was on their radar, your part was over. I am just trying to help you discern your actual job duties and perhaps parse what you should actually take on, job-wise, instead of pushing something that wasn’t yours and you didn’t even want to be yours, and, apparently, neither did anyone else. I hope this really helps you take a step back and figure out your part in this, even with your good intentions, and that you learn and grow from this experience.

22. AnonymousJune 5,2023 at 12:33AM UTC

    No, just no.
    I did not want to do this. I did what I was instructed to do, put it on their radar and kept moving with my program. She brought this up in my one on ones, I can look back through the notes because I take them. She could have EASILY said no said she initially gave that impression! She wants a feather in her cap because other groups decided not to do it, and she’s too scared to tell our Director ‘no’. I am not responsible for her being a poor decision maker and time keeper. The only thing I can do is after this is done, come up with a timeline proposal as someone mentioned. Who knows if they’ll accept it when they can just get away with being highly inefficient.

23. AnonymousJune 4,2023 at 1:40PM UTC

    My advice. Please act on as much of this as possible before going in unprepared with any management or benefits official.

    *Talk to the people at askjan.org to help you figure out accommodations that can help you manage.

    *Check your benefits plan to see if you have an Employee Assistance Program (EAP) that has mental health services. Some EAPs are 24/7. Get enrolled ASAP. It may protect your job especially since you may not yet qualify to take unpaid FMLA leave for up to 3 months (job protected).

    *Contact the Wage and Hour Division of the US Department of Labor https://www.dol.gov. It may take some doing to get through to them but they have jurisdiction over wage and work time (as the name states) disputes.

    *If you're in the federal government, you have the option to apply for disability retirement from Day 1 on the job with proper medical documentation. Maybe something like that exists at lower levels of government, too. This is NOT Social Security/Disability which requires a complete inability to work. This is something different and you will need to do a little research.

    You didn't say whether you are in municipal, state, or federal government so it is hard to offer much more. This will take energy I know you don't have but you need to prepare in a way it doesn't seem like you are aware enough of yet. Good luck and remember, your government job is the only leverage you have. If you leave it without securing the best outcome for yourself, you will probably regret it. I'm not saying to stay, just make any potential exit to your advantage.

24. Kristen WeberJune 4,2023 at 1:43PM UTC

    You mentioned going to see the ADA coordinator. If you're not already familiar with disability job accommodations, I highly recommend checking out the resources at Ask JAN (Job Accommodation Network - US Federal Government). They have amazing resources including a guide to helping employees (YOU) navigate requesting and negotiating job accommodations. https://askjan.org/info-by-role.cfm#for-individuals:employees

25. AnonymousJune 5,2023 at 12:00AM UTC

    Thank you for this resource!

26. AnonymousJune 4,2023 at 1:45PM UTC

    I’ve been in state government and had this happen to me in the first few months. When they finally decided to apply I had a week to write a grant and had no grant writing experience. I worked late when I could and asked for help from the team. I went to my supervisor and told them that given the short deadline I would need help. I then assigned portions of the proposal to other team members and edited it all together to flow. It was a ton of work but we got it in on time.

    After that experience I prepared a workflow for future grant opportunities. It includes a timeline. I presented this to my supervisor and the next time the situation came up I reminded him that I needed a decision within the timeline to allow enough time to write the grant. This helped us stay on track with deciding if we wanted to apply or not. It won’t always work, but it was a way for me to set some boundaries.

    Get this grant out the door. You’ve already put in so much work and now you can add a valuable skill to your resume. Then focus on what you need from this role and see if it’s something they can offer. Leaving sometimes makes the most sense but using savings and job hunting is really stressful too. Get your grant submitted and see where things stand before you make a decision. It’s always easier to set boundaries when you are coming off of a win.

27. AnonymousJune 5,2023 at 12:00AM UTC

    Great point, it definitely crossed my mind to create a timeline because apparently they’ve done this before, even though other team members were around longer than 2 months. I’ve already decided to keep looking. The intrusive, cult-like culture on top of this incident is just not a fit for me.

28. AnonymousJune 4,2023 at 2:18PM UTC

    "My manager is trying to force this grant to tie into my program but it just doesn’t." I have worked with grants and several at the same time. I think that it is doable to create a verge with the 2. Perhaps you should speak to the director and ask her for ideas to make these 2 sources of funding and deliverables merge to make things easier for you. Explore and pick her brain, get several ideas and then venture into doing the easiest-low hanging fruit. Good luck to you

29. AnonymousJune 4,2023 at 11:57PM UTC

    My manager made some edits on Friday and it’s a jumbled mess. She’s basically trying to force two grants into one. She’s forcing my program in but it just seems tacked on. The grant reviewer even said as much.

30. AnonymousJune 4,2023 at 3:39PM UTC

    I'm sorry you are feeling like this. It sounds to me like you are dealing with insecurity, perhaps due to depression or anxiety, and it's not a role or grant problem but a pure overwhelm. Hopefully, your therapist can recommend some techniques to help you manage your new job and the feelings of inadequacy.

    Remember that you are strong, you can do this!

31. AnonymousJune 4,2023 at 11:54PM UTC

    I don’t think it’s either/or. I interviewed and was hired on to manage a program. I have no experience with grant writing and there was no mention of it during the interview or job description. 2.5 months in I get thrown on a grant with no training and have to work nights and weekends because my manager has poor time management and decision making skills. I’d be pissed even if I my mental health wasn’t part of the equation. And of course, all of this is in context of a really intrusive work environment with no boundaries. I’m fine with adding the bullet to my resume and all, but this boils down to employee mistreatment. My manager was prepared to make me work this weekend until I pushed back.

32. Ann MillerJune 4,2023 at 3:47PM UTC

    Get Out. It will never change

33. westiegloriaJune 4,2023 at 5:46PM UTC

    This sounds like a stressful job that quite honestly is being managed by either lazy or incompetent personnel including other employees. At this point, for your mental and physical health, it would be in your best interest to cut back on the overtime and working nights. It would be preferable to write a short summary of issues regarding this grant. You have already listed reasons number (1) which is that due to time constraints, the grant is secondary to your program which should be your primary focus and (2) reasons why the grant does not tie into your program. Try to come up with other reasons at this point in time that the grant is not workable, but try to avoid blaming others especially those in command. Try to remain detached, logical and not bring emotion into any of this which I know is difficult. It is unfair to you that the organization has not given you any grant writing training, but this is not your fault. Listen to soothing music when you are at home and try to focus on relaxation rather than self blame. Take it one day at a time. Lastly, the ADA coordinator is unlikely to provide support and assistance unless you discussed having a disability? However, employees generally can’t be required to disclose a a mental or physical disability unless requesting a job accommodation. Then, the employer can ask for some medical documentation about the disability. Did you provide documentation on a disability?

34. AnonymousJune 4,2023 at 6:54PM UTC

    Ask for accommodations directly. Specify the accommodations you need, such as breaks, limits on hours worked, etc. Your employer has to provide these accommodations to you according to Federal and state laws. In most cases they will listen to you and you won’t need to resort to legal actions against them.

35. AnonymousJune 4,2023 at 11:29PM UTC

    I am very sympathetic towards you and your situation. I would certainly not go on with the job as it is. I think you have three options; a) tell them that you are going to do your level best, but only 8 hours a day. You don't owe them unpaid overtime. b) I'd ask to be taken off the project, as it is harming your wellbeing - you don't have to mention MH if you dont want to. c) I would personally resign. Taking back agency is a brilliant tonic and puts you in line to instantly feel better about your situation. Feeling better, you are in a position to sell yourself again. Definitely do not just let it go on; your organisation is in a mess, and you don't want to be a casuality. You've identified the problem perfectly; now you can take action. Whatever you do, you're already on the road to sorting it out.

36. AnonymousJune 5,2023 at 12:20AM UTC

    Thank you. There are so many downsides to this. I didn’t mention that it’s in an open office with very loud coworkers. There’s no way I can concentrate on what I’m writing and have continued to ask for an additional telework day each week so I can concentrate and write this thing without the constant interruptions. I’m taking this day by day and if I have to work overtime this week, I have a running email thread with my manager, the Director, and our admin so that I can get comp time. I’m going to take it day by day but I pushed back on working this weekend and used the time to kick my job search into high gear. I’m getting this on record with my doctor and psychiatrist in case they try something

37. AnonymousJune 5,2023 at 11:07PM UTC

    That sounds great - you are absolutely taking the problem in hand. Going to the doctor and psychiatrist was a particularly smart move. I hope the steps you're taking are making you feel more in control and wish you all the best with your job search. I'm also having to job search from a position of where I feel rubbish about work and I'm frankly exhausted by it all. I personally have never managed to move jobs myself when things are good, not over an entire career, so I know it's an uphill battle, but we will both get there, now we've taken up the reins.

38. AnonymousJune 6,2023 at 3:10AM UTC

    Yes indeed, thank you. This has been a lesson in boundary setting. Wishing you the best in your search too.

39. AnonymousJune 5,2023 at 12:07AM UTC

    Thank you for this. Apparently my manager didn’t get the memo about the no no’s of grant writing. And what’s really pissing me off is that this grant is supposed to help certain communities and my program is focused on internal policy compliance. I wrote the grant for a proposal which is truly under someone else’s program. I included parts of my program in places that made sense. She made edits to it on Friday and the whole thing is a jumbled mess. I’m going to fill in what her notes say to fill in and be done with it.

40. AnonymousJune 5,2023 at 12:35AM UTC

    Thank you and I’m sorry you had to endure that.

41. Crystal HowellJune 5,2023 at 8:52AM UTC

    I would reach out to the employee assistance program and ask to speak to counselor. Mental health is real, maybe you can get medical leave. Are you on salary? Overtime hours should be paid if on hourly pay? Was it authorized? Check your contract, does it say and other work duties as needed. Sorry to hear this is happening.

42. AnonymousJune 5,2023 at 10:29AM UTC

    I’m on salary. The only reason I hesitate to reach out to EAP is because I don’t know if I can trust it. I met with the ADA coordinator last Friday to discuss what paperwork needs to be completed. She was visibly uncomfortable and something was really off. I don’t know if she’s friends with my manager or Director but something was not right.

43. Kristie WhiteJune 5,2023 at 7:42PM UTC

    Having worked in HR for a long time, many people are visibly uncomfortable with this subject - it doesn't necessarily mean they are friends with someone or have an opinion. It is the subject matter. This is a legal requirement of the agency so don't let them make you feel incompetent or abnormal, it is their discomfort to deal with. I WOULD expect them to ask for documentation on your condition by a doctor or professional. And you may need to evaluate whether this is a temporary condition because of the stress or something you need ongoing.

    It's also true that receiving an accommodation means the agency is more exposed to charges of discrimination, which can also create some discomfort. Once you are deemed eligible, the agency has to be extra careful that any disciplinary or performance actions are strictly related to job performance that is NOT impacted by your accommodation. So the burden of managing you as an employee becomes greater as well.

    Good luck!

44. AnonymousJune 6,2023 at 3:07AM UTC

    Thank you for this insight. I’ve struggled with mental health since my early teens and I have received ongoing care since last year, so it will need to be ongoing. Going into that cultish office and dealing with this grant has triggered my issues very seriously. I will focus on getting my accommodation through but in the meantime I’ve been asking for one extra WFH day each week so that I can write this thing. The office is so noisy and disruptive I can hardly concentrate on my regular work, let alone something this stressful.

45. Kristie WhiteJune 7,2023 at 4:20PM UTC

    WFH to accommodate work that requires extreme concentration is perfectly reasonable. However, the timing of the accommodation and the WFH request make you look weaker. You might consider asking for an on-site location that is quiet - such as scheduling a meeting room for two weeks to focus etc. This alternate approach makes you look more committed and focused on the work and more flexible with your needs. And your team will have access to you if needed allowing your boss to check in occasionally and “see” you.

46. AnonymousJune 21,2023 at 10:27AM UTC

    Thanks for this, but this advice prioritizes their needs over mine. I’m not willing to do that anymore, and if having a disability and needing WFH because my office environment is disruptive and hostile, is looked at as being “weaker” then so be it. I’m not going to risk my mental and physical health to satisfy some people who have mistreated me and hopefully I won’t even know in the next few months. Their insecurities and need to surveil is not my problem. I’m available on chat and email and they can just as quickly contact me that way vs constantly interrupting me at my desk, breaking my concentration, and using their outside voices to have irrelevant conversations with each other. I’m willing to come into the office on days when most of the team is not there, but I have tried to come in on “full-staff” days and it’s incredibly stressful and exacerbates my mental health conditions. Additionally, they are hiring more people to the team and don’t have enough desks. Three people are already sharing a conference room and three more hires coming in soon will not have personal desks. This department is a complete mess with terrible leadership. I’m not taking on their shortcomings.

47. EMILY KIKUE FRANKJune 5,2023 at 6:53PM UTC

    Sorry you're dealing with this. Government is tough for situations like this. In addition to what others have suggested, try the 4.0 (paid) verson of ChatGPT. I have friends new to grant writing who say it's a life-saver for them.

48. AnonymousJune 6,2023 at 3:01AM UTC

    Thank you. I’ve been using the free version for this grant but will probably move up to the paid version.

49. AnonymousJune 5,2023 at 7:12PM UTC

    I´ve only recently seen the logic behind the many colleagues over the years that I´ve seen "dialing it in". Recently one of them has been fired, and it turns out he has been working on multiple "part time jobs" while working full time for decades at the company. Now I see it. Good for him. He put in his 8 hrs a day, then worked for himself. No frustration, no regrets, and now he has something to fall back on.

    Dial it in and stop caring so much. It's not benefiting you.

50. Kristie WhiteJune 5,2023 at 7:34PM UTC

    Having worked with government as a sort of efficiency consultant for the last 10 years, I can tell you that government moves very slow. Part of it is bureaucracy, a lot of it is processes that are never updated and linger for decades, and part of it the mindset that stays vs. the mindset that leaves. But having said all that - there is something noble about working for government. We all depend on the services that are provided. So here's a couple of things...

    Having taught grant writing and developed multiple business cases - grant writing and business cases are virtually the same thing. Look for links and connections that you can make between the goals of the grant and the goals of your program. They don't have to be perfect, but they do need to be measurable. And you need an estimated budget for the program you are pitching.

    However, stop working so much overtime - especially if you aren't being paid! And I suspect based on your post that you are in a salaried position. Complacency in government is something that is pervasive. If the decision languished and was deferred over and over making it difficult to meet a deadline - then that is the result of the management. Don't accommodate their inability to make a decision. The people who are working in gov don't expect someone to work overtime without compensation indefinitely. The unions WON'T do it. There will, of course, be times when it is all hands on deck. But put your mental health first and STOP! This is one of the perks of government work - they are very 9 to 5.

    And lack of training is also rampant in government (and many other positions). It is almost a given that an new employee is going to be thrown into the deep end without enough knowledge to really do a good job. I think this is the result of bringing in staff that are under-prepared for the position so compensation is lower and having no staff/time for training.

    So my advice - adjust to your surroundings. Tell your superiors that you need help to meet the deadline for the grant. Or finish this sprint and then level off to work at an acceptable pace for your mental health.

51. AnonymousJune 7,2023 at 5:40AM UTC

    From one state worker to another, your management is straight trash. I know it's hard to hunt again, but you need to do whatever you can to leave as soon as you can. It may be easier to land another state position than private sector, as long as you get out of this line of direct reporting. But pursue both paths because depending on how they do their reference checks, that may also tip your hand earlier than you would like (I've had to list my boss's contact info on every interview I've gone to because it's part of their process).

    First, I hope this goes without saying, but it is a HUGE red flag that they KNOW you're working unpaid hours and are allowing it to continue. It's almost certainly a contract violation, and if they know you'll work for free, then they will keep overloading you and expecting you to deliver. My boss knows I don't mind it if I go 10 min over here or there, but he always insists on making the time up to me another day. And it's hard for me to let him because I've always had that "get the job done" ethic, but I've realized how unhealthy it can be so I'm actively trying to change it for the sake of my own mental health.

    Second, when you were hired, you should have been asked to sign a contract or duty statement that outlines what you're responsible for and what % of your time can go to each task/function. If they're clearly working you outside of that, or they never produced one at hire, then this is a no-brainer and you should consider talking to a union rep. Or HR if you're not a dues-paying member, but I don't have a good opinion of HR, so that's more of a gamble.

    Third, my mentor (fellow state employee) asked me something like this several years ago: "On average, how long do you think it takes someone to learn their new job?" I probably said 3-6 months, but he said a year is typical, sometimes longer for more specialized work. So for them to expect you to deliver a grant proposal, with no training or prior experience, after 2.5 months of employment is just ridiculous and horrible leadership on their part.

    For now, be as transparent and open with them as you can when something is outside your capabilities, and put everything in writing (document document document and save everything!). Be honest if you think you can't meet a deadline and communicate that to them as soon as you know because that will put them on the hook to solve that, not you. If there's something you don't understand, or a procedure/process you're struggling with, identify that gap to them. If they cannot provide training, ask them why (no more budget for the year, sessions aren't currently being offered, no one on the team has bandwidth to train you directly, etc.). This is all important to document anyway, but it's especially so if you need to seek help from the union or elsewhere due to adverse or retaliatory action.

    Good luck to you, hang in there.

52. AnonymousJune 20,2023 at 8:22PM UTC

    Hi there, I'm sorry I'm so late replying to this. I just got the grant uploaded today. Thank you for this wisdom. No, they did not present me with any contract or duty statement that outlines my responsibilities and what % of my time can go to each task/function. I only got a one-page job description with duties and responsibilities and the word "grant" is nowhere in there. As a matter of fact, it doesn't even have "duties as assigned" in it either.

    Oddly enough, as I was uploading the grant, a question asked if there were any pending civil rights lawsuits, and my manager responded that in May 2023, a former employee alleged discrimination on the basis of sex and national origin. I've been strongly considering making this a legal case if my ADA reasonable accommodation is denied. Two lawsuits for one tiny state agency will not be a good look for them.

    For some reason, this department is the only one that is not unionized yet. I don't have the backstory as to why. However, it should go into effect next month. Yes, management is trash, and the fact that employees under this Director are making thousands of dollars less than everyone else in the building is yet another reason why this situation is terrible. I have been documenting all my overtime hours, copying my manager, Director, and our admin, and not one has replied. To top it all off, their management style is incredibly passive-aggressive and codependent, and I'm learning how to stop giving away my energy to it. I've launch my search again and will do what I need to do until I'm able to move to the next chapter. I really learned a serious lesson through this experience.