I’m four months into a new role which is remote working and my manager isn’t the original manager who I interviewed for and thought I’d be working with.

18 Comments

1. AnonymousFebruary 16,2025 at 3:30PM UTC

   You can definitely take a medical leave due to stress. You need to go to your doctor and get a note from your doctor saying that they approve of this medical leave. I’ve done this before and I was out for 3 months (paid in full).

2. AnonymousFebruary 16,2025 at 3:58PM UTC

   If the company has an HR department you could privately complain about the hostile supervisor and find out separately if you can go out on disability or leave of absence after your paid time off is exhausted. But if you don’t think any way is a solution: it shall be best to move on and look immediately for new jobs. Good luck.

3. AnonymousFebruary 16,2025 at 4:03PM UTC

   Take leave of absence and look for new job. I was in your shoes 5 years ago and thankfully found a new job within a month, went back to my old job for the one day required at the end of my leave and handed in my resignation letter. No 2 week notice. Started new job the next week.

4. AnonymousFebruary 16,2025 at 5:24PM UTC

   Are you eligible? If so do it.

5. AnonymousFebruary 17,2025 at 1:22PM UTC

   Please clarify what you mean by "go on the sick".

   If you can afford to up and quit without a new job then do that. If not, resume your search while still employed.

6. GirlBossanova934974February 17,2025 at 3:24PM UTC

   The world is full of unqualified and unreasonable bosses these days. Everyone is trying to climb the Corporate ladder and they don't care who they step on. If I had to bet, it sounds like your new boss is trying to IMPRESS everyone in his first few weeks. To avoid Monday morning panic, the best thing to get OUT IN FRONT of these last minute requests and such. SET UP an ACTION REGISTER with your new boss and keep it up to date. Show tasks etc and make it clear when YOUR PLATE is FULL. If one task gets put on, another comes off. This is how you deal with bosses like this. They are in fact VERY DISORGANIZED and spend most of their time just running from one meeting to the next, collecting work for other people to do aka YOU! Understand?

7. Susan Heidi WolmanFebruary 17,2025 at 3:27PM UTC

   This happens and sometimes it works out and sometimes not. I would inform HR of this because as you are new in the position, it could be a reflection on you.

8. AnonymousFebruary 17,2025 at 3:47PM UTC

   It is warning that what interviewed for it is not what you working with Start looking for new job which meet your expectations is right move, HR shouldn’t surprised when you telling them.

9. AnonymousFebruary 17,2025 at 6:56PM UTC

   Soon as I joined this new role, I realized that my reporting manager would be this person who is 15 years younger than I. I respect her intelligence and she is extremely well versed in certain aspects. However she does not have the life or work experience to be managing people especially to someone as my role. I was also a manager but had no one under me since this was a brand new group within the company. She would criticize the way I write, took credit for the work I have done and dominant every conversation. I had lost a lot of respect for her and would keep things to myself so she wouldn't take credit for the work I have done again. Last straw was she literally said that I don't know what I am doing/ or understanding the product and had me to explain to her to what I think it meant. I was dumbfounded by that and never had anyone to treat me in that manner ever. I went to HR, knowing the risk but wanted them to release me so I can collect unemployment. I was relieved and have no regrets because I value my self-respect above all else and couldn't tolerate someone who does not know how to listen and to accept other people's opinions/working style. This is the first time I ever allowed myself in this position but I am at an age that it is just not acceptable way to be treated.

10. AnonymousFebruary 19,2025 at 4:41PM UTC

    Ask yourself this question then the answer will be obvious. Can you stick it out while looking? If not and you can afford to leave with no new job then quit.

11. AnonymousFebruary 20,2025 at 1:31PM UTC

    I am in the exact same boat as you. For the sake of my mental health, I literally took 2 days off and went through my finances and also started networking with my circle again. I put my papers yesterday, and this was the first night I slept in peace in months! Will it be difficult financially - yes. But will I have self-confidence again and time to apply for the right job again - a bigger yes.

12. Lori CasoFebruary 20,2025 at 1:37PM UTC

    I’d take all my vacation and sick time and look for another job.

13. Liz MilneFebruary 20,2025 at 1:46PM UTC

    Can you not raise the issues this manager is causing you? He's new, so still in his own probationary period - who is his line manager? And would they be receptive to your feedback?

14. AnonymousFebruary 20,2025 at 2:14PM UTC

    It all depends on your finances and the job market/industry you’re in, as it is difficult to find jobs these days. I will report the situation to HR, with the understanding that they may not do anything about it. But do it anyway. Start applying to jobs immediately and have an exit strategy to potentially leave as soon as you notify HR. Good luck!

15. AnonymousFebruary 21,2025 at 2:02PM UTC

    If you actually need a job, this current job market with so many people from private industries and the Federal government being let go of, is not one a person, particularly a woman should quit in. I wouldn't advise going to HR either now because you don't have anything concrete that he did wrong. HR is to protect the business, so reporting that your manager overworks you for the company's benefit is not going to do you any good. If he's valuable to the company, you will just be labelled as a "problem child." Also, try to get family help, so your needs for your son aren't obvious to your manager, because some men resent women who they have to accommodate for family related activities cos many men don't have to deal with that. You don't know where he's coming from as he may have lost his last job, got this one and is walking on pins and needles trying to impress his bosses by working himself and you to death so he doesn't loose this job too. It happens. So, I'd say get a recording device to record what he says, so you can to build a case about him, even though it may not be admissible in court, if it comes to that, however, it will make the company believe you in the event it comes down to a he said-she said showdown, prayerfully hang in there, pray and do your best to look for another job...Good luck

16. Ser HolmesFebruary 21,2025 at 3:12PM UTC

    Go out on STD for stress and emotional anguish. You will still get a paycheck, and he won't be able to call or anything.

    Is the other manager still at the company. If so, could you confide in them. Not the STD part - (tell no one that). Just follow the steps your company has for STD. Or, what about your bosses boss? Is anyone else there complaining about him. It's likely not you, but his piss poor leadership style. I am so sorry you are going through this. Hang in there. Take sick leave and get out!

17. AnonymousFebruary 21,2025 at 4:07PM UTC

    I did that and still ended up leaving without a job in hand. The manager who I interviewed with went on maternity leave 3 weeks after I started. She never came back. Then after I had 4 other managers (2 who ended up leaving the company, other two pulled from other departments that didn’t want to do it one of which never responded to messages, calls, emails or meeting invites) over the next 11 months before one was finally hired. Every time it was starting over with no processes in place making things completely a mess. Hr wasn’t helpful and manager became more distanced and stopped communicating. The void was filled by another self appointed ‘manager’ who made it a totally hostile environment. I tried to play nice but it did no good. I wasn’t able to do my job bc my manager changed everything, didn’t tell me and no communication or responses to obtaining the info/ access. She changed all of our vendors to those she had personal connections to near where SHE lived. Yet I was held accountable for everything when things went wrong although I had no access to the tools I needed. I tried connecting with other managers but they were no help and told my manager that I approached them which made her upset making it worse for me. That’s when I started looking again for work and took sick time. Hr didn’t listen still and it was when I started dreading work everyday with the messes I’d be stuck cleaning up, stopped eating and couldn’t bear to go on fighting just to do my job especially when that other ‘manager’ was actively looking to get me canned. It really put a damper on trying to find other work. I was THAT mentally spent. I saw nothing was going to change so I had no choice but to resign. That all said, try to find a new job while still there if you can. If it’s too mentally taxing, leave. In my case, I quit and filed for unemployment. In my interview by the state, I explained the situation and I was able to get it.

18. AnonymousFebruary 21,2025 at 6:16PM UTC

    I would use sick and vacation time if necessary to sustain me while I look for a job. If you can afford it, don't just quit. Besides it looks better if you are employed and also, you since you are employed, the stress of not having a job will not show during the interview.