I recently was offered a lateral move to the same position in a different team with a much higher pay rate.

I recently was offered a lateral move to the same position in a different team with a much higher pay rate. However, i was led to believe that a promotion was coming soon for me in my current team. My boss and his boss, along with other influencial people, both said they saw me in the promotional role once it became available, so i took a chance and stayed where i was. I will say i knew there was a chance I wouldnt get the promotion, but i felt so supprted and lifted up within my department, i thoight that was a slim chance.

when it became available, i applies for the promotion, and completed all the interviews, but ultimately was beat out by someone from another department who already had the same role. I feel foolish. I now dont have the pay increase nor the promotion, and this is actually the second time ive been passed up for the promotional role and given the same reason (someone in the role already) that I was passed up.

This time, I found out another colleague was leaving just as I was also considering leaving, so while i didnt think they were the type of people that would do so, I feel like my management was probably desperate and manipulated me into staying so that they wouldn't have to navigate the loss of two key people in our small team of 4, which was already barely scraping by. I was then saddled with the lion's share of the extra work.

I'm disappointed, disillusioned, and dejected. I already asked for feedback on what I could do better. The key decision maker said it was a very hard decision, but ultimately he went with the other candidate because they had more experience, already being in the role we applied for, being more tenured than me, and they liked a few answers in the interview better.

The latter part, I can work on, but if I don't get promoted in my current team, the only way to gain experience in the role is to take a pay cut and move to a team with a reputation for toxicity, which im just not willing to do, and tenure takes time. I'm the least tenured person in my peer group and in time, those other four new people will only get better at their jobs, so they will be stiff competition if they also decide to apply when the next opening occurs.

At the same time, I'm not very excited about staying in my current role. They just hired someone I don't care for as my peer, the person who left was my best support system and i miss them dearly, the peer that remains i like a lot, but shes new also and requires a lot of handholding, and we are taking on two new people that I'm going to be expected to train.

I feel like I deserve better.

I don't know how to deal with my disillusionment. I realize the decision management made looks like a sound decision on paper, but I am nnot sure I can continue to put in the same amount of effort nor build the necessary relationships with the person who got the job or the two other new people, because I'm now halfway out the door because I have no faith our management will ever promote from within when they can bring in people who have already gained experience in the role.

What have y'all done to manage a similar situation where you were disillusioned, but don't want to leave the department/role because you know the grass isn't greener anywhere else?

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14 Comments

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  1. Anonymous

    I’m so sorry this happened to you. Agonize about this for another day or two and then make a conscious decision to start looking for another job.

    You’ve been passed over twice for promotions so listen to the message that has been delivered two times: your employer may like you but they don’t value your contributions enough to either pay you or promote you.

    This will unfortunately happen again because there are no consequences to having you interview for more senior roles and passing you over.

    If I were in this situation, I’d insist on a salary review given your new workload. I’d also demand a promotion track plan, one that includes a timeline, list of deliverables, leadership traits you have to demonstrate and any executive sponsorship or recommendations you’ll need to collect. If your boss can’t deliver on these, it’s time to move on to a place that values your professional contributions.

    Tine to set some boundaries, your employer is treating you like a door mat. Truly, best wishes in your next steps.

  2. Anonymous

    Thank you so much. Well-said and i agree. I appreciate your insight and will take your advice.

  3. Anonymous

    Good luck ? this is good advice on the salary review to have concrete actions in the short term to keep growing and keep your intrinsic value and motivation

    Ultimately it’s up to how you approach your current role everyday from now on and I would strongly consider what everyone else has said about ‘people show you by their actions believe them’

    If you continue to find that small kernel of resentment inside, I suggest also updating your resume, contacting your network and just have conversations/informational interviews.

    the actions of doing this will empower you and keep you in a positive action-oriented mindset.

    you mentioned the grass isn’t always greener. Definitely!

    however your post suggests you’re justifying staying and letting fear of the unknown keep you in place.

    no need for big changes right now, the action of updating your resume slowly, networking etc will keep you empowered. Who knows you might talk to some team that feel like wow, this is where i am meant to go!

    you matter more than anywhere you work. That's why a strong sense of self is paramount. Life throws you curve balls. It just does. You don't always see things coming but if you have a strong sense that you are stronger than most and self reliant as hell then you can handle what comes next

  4. Anonymous

    Sometimes, it is difficult to accept the writing on the wall, and the mind creates excuses. You were not valued as an employee. It is time for you to value yourself. In the future never go by what people say get something in writing, and trust what you are feeling when you see the evidence. Make decisions or prepare your self for what ever the move should be, some times it is staying and sometimes it is leaving.

  5. Anonymous

    Agreed. I realize that I am well-liked,but clearly replaceable. Everyone is. I am tempted to leave this team high and dry, but I do have a few incentives to staying. I will likely take advantage of these, then make a run for it once I've benefitted as much as I can.

  6. Anonymous

    I would move in , you have tried twice to move up and into a new role, it’s not happening sounds like a change may be a good thing.

  7. Anonymous

    Since you don't feel appreciated in your future role and your employer, despite the interviews, shows no willingness to promote you or help you advance in the company, I think that it's time for you to move on.

  8. Anonymous

    Yep, time to leave.

  9. Anonymous

    Basically, they have you right where they want you. They will keep stringing you along as long as you let them. Been there done that and allowed it to go on for too long. I actually took myself out of the running for another role because of promises made and never kept and watching others promoted before me. So frustrating. You can choose to let it continue or use this as an opportunity to look outside of your current company.

  10. Anonymous

    Actually, you may be doing your current job so well that they don't know how they could sufficiently backfill it. Sometimes this happens to those of us who are really dedicated and diligent. They have spoken with their actions and it is time for you to go to a company that will value your expertise in a more acceptable manner. This usually involves a pay raise when you come in from the outside, so get ready with your resume and see what is out there! You are in an enviable position because you don't have to make a move, so you may just relax, interview well, and get yourself a great new position where you will wonder why you waited so long to move!

  11. Joan Williams, Senior Talent Acquisition Specialist

    I'm really sorry this happened to you. This is another example of how counter offers rarely work out for the employee.

    You had an opportunity with higher pay and chose to stay for vague promises. I've seen this scenario play out multiple times in my career.

    My suggestion is you cut to the chase and start looking for a new job.

    I'm guessing you'll probably try to hang in there, will try not to be bitter about what happened, but after 6 months or a year, will wind up realizing you need to leave.

    As an employee, all you really have to invest is your time. I recommend you invest it in another company where it will pay off for you in the long run and your contributions will be valued.

    You're in a good spot right now - where you have the luxury of time. You have a job, so you can be picky in your job search and find that right new opportunity.

    GOOD LUCK!

  12. Anonymous

    They've shown you how much they value you. It is time to move on.

  13. libra lady

    This is perfect example of people who think that your employer will do right by you.. hence my motto LIVE by-think ahead!! do not get complacent, do not drink the kool aide! from peers.. When you can, get out---even if its lower skill set--you never know where that could lead you . be well

  14. Anonymous

    It was a sound decision. Change is hard and when you lose a confidante and friend that you like working with and feel stuck with not much room for movement after being passed up it is hard and it's definitely an ego bash. Here is what I suggest. Put together a plan with the feedback on why you were second choice for the role you wanted. Create a matrix that spans about 3-6 months with some solid deliverables attached. Let your manager and the other manager know that you want to aim for an increase and expanded role and that you want the company to invest in your getting there through the plan you put together. Bring HR into the mix if you need to. Time box it with them with some defined deliverables and set dates that you and they can fully commit to. If you don't get a solid plan back it is time to consider looking for a new job at a new company using the plan you created as a template for what you want. When asked by the new prospective employers why you are moving on, let them know the opportunities for growth are limited and that being the most recent hire into that team you have 4 other people to bypass before you can move up. Don't bring any negativity into ANY of these conversations, either with current or new companies because that will definitely bring sour grapes into it. You need to dust yourself off get over it and forge ahead full steam for your own needs and career irrespective of their decision.

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