Helping a Chaotic Manager

8 Comments

1. AnonymousAugust 20,2025 at 3:41PM UTC

   Try something like monday.com?-- Itemized planning, review ahead of time, decide on plans together, and hold accountable to the decisions by automating tasks and timelines.

2. AnonymousAugust 20,2025 at 8:41PM UTC

   I have daily stand-ups and track all through our tools with specific assignments to me/them with timelines, reminders, etc. It’s the very inconsistency on their part that is frustrating me and the staff. They jump from tool to tool, never committing to a system. Limited attention span, constant decision reversals, etc.

   I’m trying to find a way to cope. I see no avenue to changing their behavior. Believe me, we all have tried. This person is a basically nice person, but completely un-self aware when it comes to their impact on others. They are killing themselves and it is really not necessary. We just cannot seem to get any traction to putting in a system to ease the burden on them (and us).

3. AnonymousAugust 21,2025 at 3:21PM UTC

   I think it's more about finding your call and Zen, than focusing on them. It sounds that you have gotten wrapped into their chaos storm, and you are having trouble feeling grounded.

   I am not saying this is the only solution. It is just one thing you need to do because it's within your control. It is incredibly hard to affect change in others, especially in a parent or boss.

   If you've already tried so many things, then another "tool" or piece of technology ain't gonna help ya. It's a person or environment that is disorganized.

   There is a lot of context missing in this post, like, what exactly is chaotic about it? What have you already tried to manage the fallout that comes from the chaos? Walk me through your day or week? Now, walk me through a good day or week, where things were calm and going as planned. What makes you feel like if you let this spin out of control you won't be effective in your job? What is your day like when you feel like you are most effective?

   Without knowing the context, I can only provide half-baked advice.

   I would say, start and end your day with meeting your boss.

   Start your day with a 15 min meeting with your boss to recap everything that needs to be done and ask if there's anything you've missed. Maybe an hour or two before the end of your day, meet with your boss and give them a progress update. Tell them what has been done and what you couldn't get to. Ask if there's anything critical or urgent you need to take care of before the end of day. Start and end your day with a "touchbase" so that you're always aware of the expectations, and also set healthy boundaries on what you humanly can't get to in that amount of time. With this daily ritual, you should be able to gain an understanding of what "effectiveness" level you need to be at for the next 4 years.

   If you are not already acting like a personal assistant or an "executive assistant" to them, then start.

4. rgstaffing@bellsouth.netAugust 24,2025 at 12:24PM UTC

   I think this is very solid advice. I agree that it is difficult to advise when there is so little information i.e. what is the position of the manager, what is the industry, what is the city and what is the salary range. These things would be very helpful to know.

5. AnonymousAugust 21,2025 at 5:23PM UTC

   I generally advise folks in support roles to disorganized leadership to use their calendaring system and also a priority numbering system to organize tasks ahead. Take the time to create this for yourself and train your leader to use your program. Keep it simple and those things that are recurring should be sticky and not moved around. Force them into one set communication path so that you don't lost sight of things or misplace important to-do's. Google calendar is great and if you get backlogged add the contents of an email into a task list in your inbox or calendar. Your best friend should be the scheduling software that is used by your company. Block out focus times for yourself to get things done and don't sway from those. Build in down time too so you can repair yourself when you get overwhelmed. Don't personalize their disarray because them you take that baggage home with you at night. Remember without you they would be lost. They may not care about your advice to them but if they do it their way and it's still broken they can only blame themselves.

6. AnonymousAugust 24,2025 at 3:51AM UTC

   Excellent advice. Fully concur.

7. Dr. Patty GrossAugust 24,2025 at 12:37PM UTC

   I retired a couple of years ago and was working on a professional doctorate during my last three years there. I retired so I could finish, so I understand having the "finish line" In sight in a chaotic environment (exacerbated by the COVID-19 crisis). There are some excellent replies here, but to add my two cents, I will highlight a couple of their key points.

   First, the only person whose behavior you have control over is your own, so stay focused on that and on what you can do to make things tolerable.

   Second, developing systems that work, while important, can be overwhelming to the point of being overdone. If you're spending more time on your planning system than on your work, it's not working. Everybody works differently. Some excel with calendars and checklists, others work better with stacks of paperwork in priority order. If MS Planner, email, and text work for you to keep things organized, it's not broken, so don't fix it.

   The only way I stayed sane those last few years was to keep looking forward, and doing the very best I could, even if nobody recognized it but me. Go home every day with gratitude that you are bringing home a paycheck. Start a new hobby, and find things that will help you fill your time once you retire. Build your "bucket list" and plan your first vacation/travel trip in your retirement. You have a lot to look forward to, and I wish you well and good luck on your journey.

8. KassondraAugust 25,2025 at 10:28AM UTC

   Is there somewhere else within the business you can move to??

   I'd keep an eye on intercompany opportunities with the knowledge that even after the move you'll be assisting from a distance. It would have to improve over time.