Deputy Director’s actions frustrating me

Anonymous

April 5,2024 at 12:48PM UTC

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Deputy Director’s actions frustrating me

I am the director of a large project. We have a relatively small team at our company, and farm a lot of the technical aspects to consultants. Im attempting to figure out why some actions the deputy has taken bother me - is it my ego or am I justified to be annoyed. I feel like I am being mansplained a lot or he is just repeating what I’m saying and people are listening.

A really simple example - there is a charity event coming up that our company participates in. I sent a thoughtful email to our group sharing this event and encouraging attendance. I explained what it was briefly.

My deputy replied to all and more or less reiterated what I said but added how he has done it many times.

For whatever reason his extra cheerleading, last word, annoyed me.

He also tends to almost literally repeat what I have said in meetings.

help me figure out what my issue is please!!

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AnonymousApril 5,2024 at 2:47PM UTC
It sounds like there could be something else this individual is doing that is giving you a negative vibe. I've had people repeat what I've said before in a positive manner trying to reiterate my arguments, which felt good.
However, it seems like you believe this individual is undermining your position but you can't pinpoint exactly why. What else has he done to give you that impression? Is it a tone he uses?
Or is it simply annoying that he feels he needs to "support" you by repeating your ideas in his own words to others, mansplaning frequently?
AnonymousApril 5,2024 at 2:52PM UTC
You might feel undermined by the one upsmanship.
Next time steal his glory by including him in your email. Invite his opinion or feedback in front of everyone on the chain before he can take over with a voice. Do this in person whenever possible too. It takes the wind out of his sails if he's merely invited to respond. The shift is palpable.

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